Funniest things you have been a part of in game.

[Majikal]

I once had a Whiran who had an incredible fondness for pranks. One of my favorite things to do was shadow other gemmers into their temples and use chalk and the "scribble" command to graffiti the opposition's turf. I remember drawing "an under-endowed, vine-inked dwarf" in the Rukkian temple one time. (Sorry Enri. :p)

This same Whiran was out on patrol with a templar and some other gemmers once out in the Pah. We ended up in a room at the top of a huge, ancient spire out there which we believed was being occupied by a Sorcerer or Nilazi or something. IIRC, it was a bedroom with a four-poster bed and a chest full of gear / magic goodies. After poking around, the Templar told us all to take anything we wanted. I didn't want much, so I settled for scribbling chalk dicks all over the wall.

The Templar, looking at another member of the party, says something like:  
  "I swear, sometimes I think he acts as though I'm not standing right here."

I may have also pissed on the bed. I'm not positive.

I was your victim twice. Apparently.

Quit dick-doodling my pc's houses!

[IAmJacksOpinion]

Wait, what other PCs of yours did I dick doodle??

[IAmJacksOpinion]

Also, in response to OP... ^ These last 2 posts.

[Majikal]

Wait, what other PCs of yours did I dick doodle??

lol, I was Enri the dwarf. The vine-inked dwarf I think? I R teh face of dwarven race helpfile!


Was also one of the super-gicks in the x-men tower you dickdoodled. You dickdoodled my room and pissed on the bosses bed. 

[IAmJacksOpinion]

Nah dude. Enri was along for the ride that day in the tower. I remember because I know Tar was there too, and Enri & Tar died pretty much same day IRL. Also, that same expedition ended up out in the Mantis Valley, and the imms threw out out an echo along the lines of "an enormous winged being flies over the sun, temporarily casting a shadow over the valley", and there was a moment when we were all pissing ourselves and preparing to GTFO, where it looked like Enri was going to run off and try to fight that thing. :p

So, it's not a case of a serial dick-doodler / "micturater" of beds - it's an imitation serial DD/MOB! Unless your very next character after Enri ended up out there. In which case it's possible I came back to relive my glory days for the lulz.

[IAmJacksOpinion]

So, some more stories:


I was a sneaky who had been scoping out apartments in city. Finally I found one that was just littered with gems and expensive stuff. Initially I looked, but didn't touch. So, when I came back to loot the place I found it inhabited. By a Templar. And his aid/bang-buddy. I caught them when they were ramping up for some kinky mud-sex. (As I recall, there was some light bondage involved.) Anyways, I just couldn't resist doing this to them:

The tressy-tressed woman says, OOC:
   "Consent?"

The templar says, OOC:
  "Of course."

Someone says, OOC:
  "I consent too guys."

I stuck around long enough to see what they did next - which was to resist the urge to scan and proceed with their next emotes. What champs. I didn't stick around to watch though. Just snagged a few loose items from the other room, and GT'd the FO.




I had a 13 y.o. warrior in the AOD once, back when kanks were still a thing. Anyways, his first big RPT was when forces from Borsail, Tor, and the AOD rode out to sack the Mul Outpost. This was also one of his first times riding, and the other big difference in mounts those days were that, if you didn't have the riding skill, you wouldn't just fall behind occasionally - you actually could not ride! You would have to hit "n" like 13 times to go anywhere... on EVERY screen. Needless to say, I lost the main war party IMMEDIATELY upon leaving the gates.

I way'd my Templar, and he told me to contact the elven Byn Sarge, who was leading a patrol out on foot, and hook up with them.  He didn't want to wait either, so he just gave me directions to follow, which were: "Go north to the shield wall, then follow it east." As a player I knew I needed to go west, but IC I didn't, so I went east, heading the opposite direction of the battle. I really didn't want to miss this battle either so to get back to the tablelands I "accidentally" fell in that one gulch out there in the Red Desert that everyone falls in. I knocked myself out, and also killed my Kank. Well it wasn't my kank, it was Lt. Paryl's. And it was one of the expensive purple ones.

Anyways, after waking up I managed to stagger along the shield wall, back to the battle. Upon hooking up with the Byn forces, I ended up helping a lone Runner charge a mul with just the two of us. I was KO'd immediately by a huge freakin' club. After waking up from that, I managed to find my Templar who was watching from the main gate as the army fought its way through the outpost. While hanging back with him, I nearly died of thirst also.

With the RPT over, all us soldiers are lined up back at the barracks, and the Templar goes down the line pinning medals on all of us. Everyone else gets a medal signifying that they fought in a battle or something, but when he gets to me he pauses and gives me this suspenseful "I got something else for you..." And then gives me some medal for showing outstanding bravery or some such thing.

So I got this special medal for:

• Not being able to ride.
• Not knowing basic directions.
• Falling off the shield wall and killing Paryl's kank.
• Getting my ass handed to me in an un-wise fight.
• Nearly dying because I forgot my waterskin, and having to borrow a Blue Robe's personal flask...

Good times.

[Hicksville Hoochie]

A recent aide of mine and her noble loved being sneaky. Some big intrigue was going down in the House with the senior nobs - people falling down stairs, creepy crawlies in the shadows at night; the usual. We're goofing off in the noble's room one day, when we hear the Big Guy of the House shouting and stomping past. Of course, we sneak out to follow and be nosy.

Things are a lot worse, as we hide outside the doorway, and hear all kinds of things... Sort of. We sat there trying to piece together what was going on via what tidbits we were both getting, all while emoting how we were hiding behind drapery and the like (because of those pesky vnpcs!) The conversation winds down, and turns into aide and noble doing a game of 'Can you see me?' "No, can you see me?" "I think I see your toes!"

Suddenly, the door to the room opens, Big Guy walks out, takes a look around and declares that he's glad no one is being nosy before walking off...

Still not sure to this day if he saw me, and was planning to eventually use it against my character, (Her footwear was pretty much a signature look, so he'd have definitely known!) or if hiding behind a curtain actually worked. 

[Chettaman]

Oh another one....

I once shadowed a pair of lovers into their apartment. I then sat through the most awkward and goofy mudsex I've ever seen. The part I recall the most is something like, "The tressy-tressed aide kneels down and takes out the manly man's spear. She then starts using her luscious lips to polish his spear with vigor.".

Polish his spear....they really just typed out "polish his spear".....AHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

I literally fell on the floor laughing for this one. I laughed so hard I was crying.

You guys make this game worth playing.  

Ah. >: D

anyway. I've done some funny ass shit too. Krath... let me call gunner. There is this joke we still fucking laugh at that is unbelievably funny. something about being in the byn.

I just remembered, dood. Wezer.

Frown at me all you want! I'm going to tell this story well!
I had an aide character who was kind of a badass and she went out with the byn to do bynnery things. We walked up to a wezer nest and had a great time. Oh, my god.

ON THE WAY TO THE WEZER: There are like six of us.
runner rat-shit was an actual new player and I loved him. So much. I miss you rat-shit, bro. While riding through the desert we encountered a scrab. Everyone attacked it except him. Everyone noticed so the next encounter was like, "Runner rat-shit! Kill the scrab." and... as he was told, he began fighting the scrab without weapons drawn. he just immediately started fighting that bastard. xD LOL
-- "Runner... draw your fucking weapons."
After we anhialited everything in our path runner rat shit said something like, "I'm thirsty." and the issue was never addressed.

AT THE WEZER NEST:
"Runner. See that dome over there? I want you to go over there and kick it. Just... kick it."
The runner does as he's told and about ten wezer show up to fuck our shit up. If you know what wezer are, you know just how horrifying that is. We all get stung and we're all paralyzed but we somehow make it out. I even manage to use my badassery to save a few people and we fight off like two of the wezer and sadly we all get fucking stung again. Long story short, one of us fell the battle. Runner Rat-shit commented that he was thirsty. Or something.

AFTER THE WEZER NEST:
We're going to let the dwarf's body float out into the silt sea. Runner rat shit is /really/ fucking thirsty. And long story short we're attacked and dammit. We're going to set that dwarf to floating even if just to get eaten moments later. On the way back I think we get seperated from Rat shit or something and the whole way back we're making fun of this very story and I am fucking dying laughing. That group. You fucking know who you are. And I fucking love you.

I have to add: Sorry rat-shit. we definitely made fun of you. We were definitely laughing at you. And... We understand it was because you were new. But come on, man. xD

[Majikal]

Can't remember the exact conversation but it was something along the lines of...
Hunting pack sneaks up on some gicks, one we owed a nasty visit too after they did some shenanigans.

A gicker girl says: "You ain't scared of Red Fangs?"
A gicker dude says: "I wish them Fangs would show up, I'd blast me a couple.

The salt flats [NESW]
A ladygick is here.
A mangick is here.
*a hidden red fang is here*
*a hidden red fang is here*
*a hidden red fang is here*
*a hidden red fang is here*
*a hidden red fang is here*

Famous last words. Probably my favorite PK to this day.
---------------------------------
Someone once kicked my unconscious character in the groin with an emote of it being likened to the power of Krath exploding Drov's anus.  
---------------------------------
Me and a noble experimenting with flash powder (when it existed) and a staff member taking a shine on the scene.

Fuse lit, toss bomb out into the field.
A noble stands here patiently
his cliche assassin aide stands here patiently.

The noble says: "Go see why it didn't blow."
Assassin says: "Uhh, you see how much powder we put in that?"
The noble says: "I'm your Lord, go look."
An assassin doesn't budge.

We walk hand in hand to the explosive backpack, I poke it with a foot or something.
*BOOOOM* Your ears ring as a fireball engulfs you and the noble!

Spending the next week roleplay bandaged bodyparts and singed beards and eyebrows and trying to explain it, hilarious.
---------------------------------

[James de Monet]

Was that Magistrate Otikus?

Heh, yes!

[Evilone]

Sergeant Calistyrr of the Legion was just having an ordinary day when I was suddenly contacted by a good friend Lexi. She wayed me to say she needed my help. Since Cal was a big strong guy, I figured she just needed him to move something heavy for Kadius. When I found her turns out I was the one to catch her babies as she had gone into labour. There were twins as well, and I had no idea how to rp that scene but it was definitely one of the funniest for me. I might have the log somewhere but I can't get to it now. Good times in Tuluk...

[LauraMars]

And my favorite:

You way to the so and so Oashi noble,
"Yes, dear Lady, my name is Lord Templar Snorvellus Tor. I'm really quite thrilled to be invited to your birthday party."

emote leans back in the spartan room, peering out the window over the lush gardens of the Ivory Quarter.

Dude. BORSAIL NOBLE. Get it right.

Also, I totally laughed at this too.

[LauraMars]

(Her footwear was pretty much a signature look, so he'd have definitely known!) or if hiding behind a curtain actually worked. 

I made you take your boots off!! (yes, this was scary and also funny)

The noble says: "Go see why it didn't blow."
Assassin says: "Uhh, you see how much powder we put in that?"
The noble says: "I'm your Lord, go look."
An assassin doesn't budge.

We walk hand in hand to the explosive backpack, I poke it with a foot or something.
*BOOOOM* Your ears ring as a fireball engulfs you and the noble!

Legit guffaw.

[Saellyn]

And my favorite:

You way to the so and so Oashi noble,
"Yes, dear Lady, my name is Lord Templar Snorvellus Tor. I'm really quite thrilled to be invited to your birthday party."

emote leans back in the spartan room, peering out the window over the lush gardens of the Ivory Quarter.

... Wait, so an Oashi wayed a northern Templar? Oh RIP.

[path]

With my first Muarki when we went into the city, she was like, you know...adolescent...I determined she wouldn't understand anything but what they used for trade at Dashra - the barter system. So she discovered to her pleasure that for some reason these idiot city folk really loved these little black rocks...and spent every last one of them. Wasn't that fun Veddi? When Jia spent all the coin on the wagon all at once buying presents for everyone?

What fun that was. Then one of the gypsies disappeared and she heard they were in the rinth so she blithely went off to rescue him, only to end up huddled in some dark, grimy corner. All lost. Wasn't that fun, Veddi? When you came on through the rinth slaughtering absolutely every npc in your path and dragged Jia back so she could spit in your face about not doing enough for whatever-his-name-was?

See? The Muarki weren't all about digging yams. Sure, there were plenty of yams and they weren't about to dig themselves, but we had fun too.

[hopeandsorrow]

I'll share.

I had a burglar once, not very long lived.
Oh Gawd is been a year.

So his name was Fingers, fingers was my attempt at playing the ugliest trashiest character I could.  A Rinther, I imagine his closet real world analog would be a trailer park inhabitant.  I had a habit of stealing the stupidest shit for giggles, terrible card player, perhaps better at reading cards.

Any who one day I'm super bored just busting into apartments I think are empty, looking stuff to get into.  I happen upon an open door and I see a typical ranger sdesc just standing there.

So be naturally stupid trying to channel my character, I enter the room.  So the guy is AFK, he doesn't respond at all to the face a rat featured tall disfigured rinther just walked.

I proceed to threaten said guy, waving my knife about "HEY THERE!"

No response

"HEY THERE!"

No Response.

Now I should note, I never bothered to actually look sdesc.  Which at this rate after threatening injury and theft I look upon a character who is clearly a very accomplished Ranger with gear that I guess could be consider top tier.

Upon this discovery and worried like hell that this Player is going to come to the key board at any moment, I emoted the following.

Looking over at ~sdesc shaking his head, you say in sirihish "Bah, nothin' worth takin'."

Then proceeded to close and lock the door (Good guy Burglar).

I'm sure If I actually tried anything with that PC would of beat my poor burglar to a bloody pulp. I'd love to know that PC's perspective.  I found it entirely hilarious after the fact. 

Fun times on that PC.  Attempting to drink perfume cause we thought it was wine.  Meeting up with other Rinther's and just being generally scummy.  I'm pretty sure we killed a guy over soup being thrown at the bar.

Good times.

[Lizzie]

My Kurac Sergeant, Tola, out on a ride (I think with her mate, Sergeant Nahkt) through the northern scrub (off the North Road not far from the Tablelands). We run into a tregil that doesn't run away from us. So instead of insta-killing it, we RP being curious about it - it moves, we move, we move again, it returns to where we are - there's a bunch of back and forth (by this time we realize it's being animated by a storyteller but we didn't know this at first). Eventually it takes a shit right on Tola's boot.

Other times mostly involve me making my character burst out in song, spontaneously. Like my Red Fang, Katestra (aka Quirri's Claw, aka Claw), singing to a Sam Cooke tune while moving stone on the side of a crater in hopes of building a new way up:

Between grunts, her voice low but clear, you sing, in allundean:
     "Bring it ta me
      bring your sweet blood
      bring it on home to me."

129/129;196/218;113/113> Hauling another rock over to narrow up the northern passage, you say, in allundean:
     "Yeah."

129/129;196/218;113/113> Her tone rising as she places the stone, you sing, in allundean:
     "Yeah."

129/129;196/218;113/113> The figure in an ankle-length red djellabah shimmies her shoulders, and returns to the pile in the middle of the crater path.

129/129;196/218;113/113> The figure in an ankle-length red djellabah pauses to wipe some sweat dripping down her chin.

I did a lot of Sam Cooke with Claw. Often a mix of Sam Cooke and Sam Kenniston.

Oh don't you know that's the sound of Salarr
working on my chain mail
that's the sound of Salarr
working or else I'm gonna cut them into pieces and feed them to the toks who the fuck do they think they're dealing with AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kinda like that.

It was funny when I did it anyway 

[The Silence of the Erdlus]

I once saw a scrab get checked by the Allanak gate guards before it went off to kill hapless citizens and bugged it. Staff replied, "Scrabs are not allowed to bring spice into Allanak."

[Hauwke]

I once saw a scrab get checked by the Allanak gate guards before it went off to kill hapless citizens and bugged it. Staff replied, "Scrabs are not allowed to bring spice into Allanak."

This one takes the cake for me. Simple yet funny.

[Asmoth]

When I was relatively new to the game I was hired by an Indy ranger, as a newb ranger, and was out hunting and he starts critiquing me because I'm using dual wield to fight instead of a shield.

He goes on for a while about how a shield will save you from an arrow or throw weapon and extolling all the virtues of getting a beast shield skill.

Right as he's done, and we are about to leave, two arrows fly in at roughly the same time and strike him in the neck, killing him instantly.

Two desert elves run in, look at me (newb geared out) and emote flicking me away in disinterest.

I grab both our mounts and leave, report it to a Templar and get threatened with jail for cowardice and not attempting to kill some dirty necks.

I go log out and come back the next day, go out salting and come across a room with both of the desert elves, some random critter corpses and weapons and armor well above my means. I grab everything I can and hire a dwarf at the Gaj to help me carry back in the stuff.

After we get back and load up in bags and shit everything, he's got most of it, he turns around and flings magick at me, all goes dark and mantis head.

I was sooooo pissed, because up until then I though you HAD to have a gem on your neck to be a magicker.  Lesson learned.

[Saellyn]

THIS is why we can't trust anybody.

[RogueGunslinger]

That is such a perfect Armageddon story. 

[Rhyden]

My proudest Arm moment is seeing more than one exploit of mine in this thread.

Funniest: the Byn trooper Milo, a human who was played as sharing an IQ with Forrest Gump. Fucking hilarious without being too silly about it.

Milo was hilarious, yeah?

[Kyviantre]

Descs removed and slightly edited since this happened not all that long ago at all, but I may have rofled and was reading this thread earlier...

Abruptly, and without warning, the half-giant hugs the human tighter, her tongue rolling out as she tries to lick him across the face.

The human blinks as he licked.

Drawing her tongue back in, the half-giant leaves the human a little damp as she giggles loudly.

The human's face likely tasted faintly of sand and salt.

Dryly, the human asks:
     "Do I have to be worried you're going to nibble?"

I think lack of sleep may be helping me find such a simple thing so hilarious

[Delirium]

I'll be honest, if I saw that I would have a really hard time not typing >kill giant