Funniest things you have been a part of in game.

[Gunnerblaster]

Fun times...

And by fun, I mean mass death.

[najdorf]

was robbing an apartment in red storm, residents came, luckily my character was hiding at that moment. they started having a heated mudsex session.
It was really a hard decision. I could either wait for them to leave the room/quit, I could kill them, or I could perform a lock-pick on the door.

However! there was another issue, hunger. Minutes have passed, hunger state changed to famished, and it came to a point of hp loss. But the mudsex just kept on evolving. I drew the blades and shouted them something like :"You fucking idiots I'm dying here open the door immediately or I will kill you both." They were quite afraid, neither looked at my direction, they unlocked the door. I never ever again broke to that apartment. Just couldn't afford to get stuck in a mudsex heavy room once again.

[Kol]

Gunnerblaster's post reminds me of the thing that'll never fail to crack me up.

>A halfling with yellow facepaint enters from the west.
>A halfling with yellow facepaint says in an unfamiliar tongue, panicked and screaming, running past: "Aiy! Gha ulghla xhy untara!"
>A halfling with yellow facepaint runs east.
>You think: what the fuck?
>Turning with an apprehensive smile to the ----------- man, you say in sirihish, "What the fuck does gha ulghla xhy untara mean?"
>A wall of water enters from the west.

Damn.

I remember the last thing that went through my head at that point, aside from half a building, being along the lines of 'Well, that sounds like trouble...'

[Malifaxis]

So, two stories.

First one happened back in the depths of time, back before the Bio tool can record on the website.  I lose a beloved character... or something.  I don't remember, but I wanted to do a throwaway with a class I've never played, but I was also feeling somewhat angsty.  So I decided to do a social experiment.  I wanted to see how all of you fuckers treated a newbie.

So I created Amos... the tall and muscular man.  And I decided to just newbie the fuck out of it.  Point Allanak.  No scars.

Walk in to the Gaj... place is decently packed for the time period.  I think there were like four or five people.  Walk in, wield sword, then just 'sit.'  Right on the floor.  Start looking at people.  No emotes, just look X, look Y, look Z.

Someone tries to ICly get me to come over to the bar... so I emote sits at bar.  emote smlies.

Random dude contacts me.  I shout AH SOMEONE IS IN MY HEAD!  Then I get the inevitable veteran OOC way telling me that I can actually sit at the bar and some syntax.  So I get up and do that.

Then people go through the sheath command, and I'm digging it, people are being kind of cool, and I haven't gotten apartment killed yet, or lured or anything.

I did a bunch of other vaguely newbie-esque things.  Tried to talk to the bartender, then told him I wanted a drink and just gave him some coins.  Several people end up leaving and coming and going, and eventually this one dude tells me to join him at another table.  I do so.

He starts doing the basic potential hire shakedown... what's my story, where've I been, yadda yadda.  I'm still using 'say' for most of my answers for most of it, but right before we get to the delicate part, he teaches me how to use 'talk.'  So I start discussing some shady shit with him... what's he want me to do?  Oh, just carry some shit through the gate for him.  He'll pay me a couple hundred to do it.  Seriously?  HELL YEAH!  And then I mention that I already have some experience smuggling, and my nickname is Pockets.  He perks right up at that and pretty much decides we're going to be buddies.

So we get up, and head out to an alley so he can go over the basic scheme with me of gliding shit through the gates.  And this dude is loving it, he's so in to this newbie he found, giving me all the details, step by step, making sure I understand everything.  Probably takes like fifteen minutes.  Once he's sure I know all the stuff I should know, my character says he knows an easier way to do it.  The guy laughs, all like "yeah right."

At which point I just flat out cast a tier 1 nilazi spell.  Those that know Nilazi can guess which one.  Guy literally does a    run; e (as he shits himself noisily, moving at high speed out of the alley.)

I was quickly slain thereafter, as one should in such a situation, but goddamn was it a good ride.

Secondly, more magicker hijinks, back in the day of the anklebiters.  I was playing a shaman/border guard type 'biter named Nuubi.  The titanic, vine-inked halfling or something... yes, a titanic halfling.  I think half of his height was actually in his absurd hairdo.  Anyway.  At some point in the past I had killed a Bynner, and loved wearing that damn aba.  Doing my basic roundabout the border patrol, making sure no one is up to any shennanery... when I find a dude out grebbing.  I lurk in to the room, and this guy is solo-emoting his heart out.  And old Nuubi is just kind of hungry, he just ate, but he still wants a bit of a snack.  So with the halfling crazy stats and magick-enhanced muscles, I emote racing out of some bushes and leaping on this guy.

subdue guy
You totes subdue the solo-emoting grebber dude.

He starts emoting about trying throw me off, tries to flee, fails, I emote throwing my arms around his neck and bringing my teeth to bear near his ear.  He starts to panic and scream, and tries to flee... fails.  I emote clamping my teeth down on his ear.  Decide to give him one more shot.  He reaches back, trying to grab my character and throw him off, tries to flee, fails.... I bite his ear off.

Was a great scene.  I loved it.  But the true joy of that scene didn't come for a few months, after Nuubi had been stored.  I'm sitting in the Gaj with some other character, and this dude walks in... one ear.  I think he looks a bit familiar, and then he just starts talking serious shit left and right to any Bynner he sees and it slowly dawns on me.  This guy, after all this time, seriously still had a major hate on for the Byn because he thought some shitcloak motherfucker had eaten part of his face.

[RogueGunslinger]

OH shit, that's priceless. LOL.

[LauraMars]

And this dude is loving it, he's so in to this newbie he found, giving me all the details, step by step, making sure I understand everything.  Probably takes like fifteen minutes.  Once he's sure I know all the stuff I should know, my character says he knows an easier way to do it.  The guy laughs, all like "yeah right."

At which point I just flat out cast a tier 1 nilazi spell.  Those that know Nilazi can guess which one.  Guy literally does a    run; e (as he shits himself noisily, moving at high speed out of the alley.)

I was quickly slain thereafter, as one should in such a situation, but goddamn was it a good ride.

I shouldn't say so

but this is magnificent

[Majikal]

All that time, thinking a bynner ate his ear. LOL.

Man I remember Nuubi. Good times, good times. We sat in a tree chatting a lot, you and the one we called 'bright eyes'.

[James de Monet]

This guy, after all this time, seriously still had a major hate on for the Byn because he thought some shitcloak motherfucker had eaten part of his face.

Ahahahahahahahaha

[Beethoven]

That first story is the best thing I've ever heard. I don't have the balls to do something like that, but sometimes I wish I did. So wrong, and yet so very, very right.

[TheWanderer]

This guy, after all this time, seriously still had a major hate on for the Byn because he thought some shitcloak motherfucker had eaten part of his face.

lol

[Gunnerblaster]

Lol. Cannibalistic Bynners.

I guess it's to be expected.

[solera]

Lol. Cannibalistic Bynners.

I guess it's to be expected.

em laughs hysterically on the couch.

[whitt]

He starts emoting about trying throw me off, tries to flee, fails, I emote throwing my arms around his neck and bringing my teeth to bear near his ear.  He starts to panic and scream, and tries to flee... fails.  I emote clamping my teeth down on his ear.  Decide to give him one more shot.  He reaches back, trying to grab my character and throw him off, tries to flee, fails.... I bite his ear off.

Was a great scene.  I loved it.  But the true joy of that scene didn't come for a few months, after Nuubi had been stored.  I'm sitting in the Gaj with some other character, and this dude walks in... one ear.  I think he looks a bit familiar, and then he just starts talking serious shit left and right to any Bynner he sees and it slowly dawns on me.  This guy, after all this time, seriously still had a major hate on for the Byn because he thought some shitcloak motherfucker had eaten part of his face.

I hope you sent Kudos.  That's this role-playing crap that folks keep telling me doesn't happen as well as being very funny.

[Chettaman]

So, two stories.

First one happened back in the depths of time, back before the Bio tool can record on the website.  I lose a beloved character... or something.  I don't remember, but I wanted to do a throwaway with a class I've never played, but I was also feeling somewhat angsty.  So I decided to do a social experiment.  I wanted to see how all of you fuckers treated a newbie.

So I created Amos... the tall and muscular man.  And I decided to just newbie the fuck out of it.  Point Allanak.  No scars.

Walk in to the Gaj... place is decently packed for the time period.  I think there were like four or five people.  Walk in, wield sword, then just 'sit.'  Right on the floor.  Start looking at people.  No emotes, just look X, look Y, look Z.

Someone tries to ICly get me to come over to the bar... so I emote sits at bar.  emote smlies.

Random dude contacts me.  I shout AH SOMEONE IS IN MY HEAD!  Then I get the inevitable veteran OOC way telling me that I can actually sit at the bar and some syntax.  So I get up and do that.

Then people go through the sheath command, and I'm digging it, people are being kind of cool, and I haven't gotten apartment killed yet, or lured or anything.

I did a bunch of other vaguely newbie-esque things.  Tried to talk to the bartender, then told him I wanted a drink and just gave him some coins.  Several people end up leaving and coming and going, and eventually this one dude tells me to join him at another table.  I do so.

He starts doing the basic potential hire shakedown... what's my story, where've I been, yadda yadda.  I'm still using 'say' for most of my answers for most of it, but right before we get to the delicate part, he teaches me how to use 'talk.'  So I start discussing some shady shit with him... what's he want me to do?  Oh, just carry some shit through the gate for him.  He'll pay me a couple hundred to do it.  Seriously?  HELL YEAH!  And then I mention that I already have some experience smuggling, and my nickname is Pockets.  He perks right up at that and pretty much decides we're going to be buddies.

So we get up, and head out to an alley so he can go over the basic scheme with me of gliding shit through the gates.  And this dude is loving it, he's so in to this newbie he found, giving me all the details, step by step, making sure I understand everything.  Probably takes like fifteen minutes.  Once he's sure I know all the stuff I should know, my character says he knows an easier way to do it.  The guy laughs, all like "yeah right."

At which point I just flat out cast a tier 1 nilazi spell.  Those that know Nilazi can guess which one.  Guy literally does a    run; e (as he shits himself noisily, moving at high speed out of the alley.)

I was quickly slain thereafter, as one should in such a situation, but goddamn was it a good ride.

xD Krath dammit.
I'm pretty sure something like this happened to me. Very sure that definitely happened to me, you jerk! lol. I just wanted to help! - and that was literally my very first criminal-like character.

Me and my buddy laughed so hard when you were like "Ah! Someone in my head!"

[Dan]

My only regret is not submitting a normal character while I wait on an extended sub application. This thread is tops, and I can't wait to play with you funny, crazy people.

One from me being when I was playing a templar. So there was this huge build up to a very storied and long, long lived powerhouse of a dwarf that was going to try and kill me for another templar. He comes in, few words are exchanged and he charges... only to be immediately banished to the arena.

I still died but I felt pretty smug immediately after that for a couple minutes.

[Hicksville Hoochie]

Way back forever ago, I had an aide in the employ of House Oash. A Kadian merchant invited her to discuss business over a dinner.

So they go and find a spot in the Kadian argosy, set out the food for a nice dinner. He offers a drink, and I accept. He picks up his drink for a toast, a second passes;

The Kadian family member says, "Fuck!"

A moment later, a heaving Kadian family member is on the floor of the argosy, dead, because he drank lamp oil. I felt very bad for the poor player, but probably spent five minutes laughing before Genyva finally called for help. It led to an intense, but crazy string of events after, with her being accused of poisoning the fella, and her feeling so confused about it the whole time. I'm not so sure the Kadians even believed she did it with the way they acted, they just didn't want their official records reading that a family member misplaced his ginka wine with lamp oil. XD

[Bogre]

At which point I just flat out cast a tier 1 nilazi spell. 

Oh my god, I laughed so hard.

[Dar]

This is an awesome thread.

This one time at Byn camp, I was playing this old coot nilazi/physician of the broken sword unit. Some Breed began complaining about a case of raza raza and asked for my help. So I got him to dip a sliver of bone into bimbal sap and insert it into his own penis' urethra to great dismay and wooziness of the rest of the Byn watching.

Come to think of it, every time one of my characters joins Byn, my inner troll comes out, as I'm sure some people noticed .

Had a character with a mercenary subguild, managed to join AoD within his 0th hour of gameplay, on his 2nd hour of gameplay he won a drinking tournament ran by still noobie, recently immified Rathustra (Who accidentally revealed my true name, the bastage). Was granted a prize of extra large barrel of some super booze, staggered over to some templar, slurped from the barrel and offered him a sip. I still remember the Templar's words, "Sargeant, get that fucker away from me before I kill him!"

Once, I was playing this undercover Tan Muarki and a Jihaen Templar kept finding my mind accidentally. Eventually he got this message from him "Please describe to me how she looked like?" At which point, my Muarki unfolded into an indepth detailed description of his favorite Escru. Then an accusation that the templar wanted to steal his escru, as well as a polite offer to find some other animal to fuck during lonely nights.

[Inklings]

First character ever, 10+ years ago or so, with my bff4evr. We played Bynners/sekrit f-me assassins.

Had fights with feces in the latrine.

Pissed off the cook by fucking off and having foodfights & tripping eachother on kitchen duty.

RPT comes up, and I have to miss it. My bff4evr and my character's mate (also a Bynner) go to RPT and die. My character is locked in mate's apartment for two IG months and survives off of rats and cockroaches. Goes completely batshit insane. I wish up to have her let out of the apartment. She's let out and ends up running the streets of Allanak removing her clothing chasing "ghosts" of her fallen important people.

Lips off at an HG guard at the Gaj. Almost gets KO'd.

Ends up running naked out of the gates with no weapons, water, food or money.
Runs allllll the way to Luir's, taking out a raptor with her bare hands naked on the way.
Dies by the fucking well from thirst because she was.. naked and broke.

It. Was. Awesome.

[Doublepalli]

Alright, time to tell the story of my first pc ever. I originally started mudding - because I loved DND, but RL location didn't allow me to play it. Armagedddon was the virtual DND to me. I read the basic docs, (missed alot though) and just leapt in as a CITY ELF! started off at Red Storm. So, right off the bat, I'm at the bar in storm and I scream newbie. I'm not using periods for my says, i'm codedly sitting and not -sitting- at bars, I'm treating humans like they are my best friend. It's then an older pc name of Rodan or something, I can't remember goes out of their way to explain the game - in character. So I learn alot of what I need to know via in game roleplay, get some newbie gear from the guy, and told to go join the Byn. So, the byn finally show up in storm, my guy gets interviewed, but then they move right back out due to a contract. They tell me it will be two weeks before they are back. I'm over here thinking REAL LIFE weeks, and I flip out. Staff end up being kind enough to transport me to allanak since I blindly chose a location, in which they hire me!

So now we have Bart the elf. At this time, I was familiar with the racism of arm, and it came as no shock when nearly every single runner and trooper in the Byn at the time treated me like shit. This was a c-elf warrior who rolled in with exceptionals in every stat. It came as quite a shock when this chargen skinny elf started laying out cans of whoop ass in the hall. Anyways, barts a funny elf, amiable, and while still a f-ing elf, he became the Byns f-ing elf. ALways known for getting drunk as shit and dancing/singing at the Gaj, and what not. Anyways, one day, Bart is on his way to the mess hall, when he comes across an innocent tube of spice laying around. Bart snatched it up immediately, and went into the mess-hall. I had no idea of the laws on spice at the time, and so Bart walks up to a group of bynners, sits, boasts and then lights up a tube of spice -right- there. Next thing I know, Lieutenant Copper comes stomping into the messhall, having left a meeting with the sergeant, because SOMEONE had stole her tube of spice. OOPS. Everyone blamed the elf obviously. Bart gets subdued and then Lieutenant Copper knocks bart the F out. Surprisingly survived, I thought I was dead there. Anyways, Bart makes friends with a guildie who wants to market spice, later on.  Bart, being a city elf and had a taste of Tho,  thinks its a great idea, and agrees to help. So, Bart becomes a spice-dealer. Starts marketing it to Bynners and a few fellows, even started making money. But Bart was too chatty about it, I think another bynner ended up snitching on Bart or maybe he was busted going into the rinth? Don't remember but the sergeant had an amazing half-giant ranger that I will not name at the time subdue Bart, aiming to kill him. Bart, with his super high agi, manages to escape the subdue - first time that ever happened with the giant I think, and literally escapes the  Byn compound. Bolts alllllll the way down to the gates, only to get caught by the Arm, and the Byn. At this point, Bart knew he was screwed, and starts spouting off. Half-giant even punches Bart to shut up after being ordered by templars. I was a newb, and at the time, half-giant had said ooc'lly they'd have to release me for a moment. And then I ignored all rp and elf'd out of there....to be one shot by the half-giant soldier at the rinth. Looking back, it was good times.

[RogueGunslinger]

Hah, I really enjoyed reading that. Good first character.

[The Silence of the Erdlus]

What's frightening is that Lieutenant Copper is still -alive- after ten RL years. Sorcerers are everywhere.

[Dakota]

I'll talk about it when a year has passed...

But the last RPT (was damn near an HRPT) in Tuluk BEFORE the closing, was the most epic, fun thing I've ever been apart of.

Hands down. Staff and the players involved outdid themselves.

[lostinspace]

My first PC ever had the description "The short, thick man", and lived in Tuluk because the help files made it sound easier. Low and behold I step into whatever that tavern citizens was and immediately people are in my head asking me questions about stuff, telling me secrets, etc. So I walk over, sit down at the bar, and say something. Turns out the other guy didn't have a tribal accent, to this day I've never seen so many people look at me so quickly. Same character died carrying around 3 large in a pair of backpacks strapped to his inix because I didn't know there was a bank.

I really wish I set up logging back then.

[Bogre]

My first PC ever had the description "The short, thick man", and lived in Tuluk because the help files made it sound easier. Low and behold I step into whatever that tavern citizens was and immediately people are in my head asking me questions about stuff, telling me secrets, etc. So I walk over, sit down at the bar, and say something. Turns out the other guy didn't have a tribal accent, to this day I've never seen so many people look at me so quickly. Same character died carrying around 3 large in a pair of backpacks strapped to his inix because I didn't know there was a bank.

I really wish I set up logging back then.

That's pretty great.

Always been one of my favorite things about Arm, is that you can have characters with very similar coincidental and eerie-similarities, same names, etc. Makes the world feel more real.