Funniest things you have been a part of in game.

[Hauwke]

In ode to the thread I started about funny sayings.
What are the funny things you have been part of?
It can be in the form of a sentance or two or even logs if you want either way I want laffs to be had for all.

[Saellyn]

I was on a Byn patrol and we were out somewhere doing something (I think we were in the tablelands or something??) and I passed out.

At the keyboard.

So there I am, mounted, and passed the FUCK out.

I woke up at the compound about an hour later like OH SHIT I FELL ASLEEP WHE-oh. i'm okay.


That was my funniest ever.

[The Silence of the Erdlus]

I was trying to 'give blue man' to a guy and ended up taking off my skirt and handing it to him.

[azuriolinist]

Heh. Byn times. When I was a noob (still kind of am, but not as newbish as before, at least) joining the Byn, the Sergeant then had asked my PC what sparring weapons she wanted.

I asked for a bow. Still embarrassed about it.

Yeah, that's all I've got on top of my head.

[Hauwke]

Ah Byn moments... God there are some of the funniest things. My first bynner was a fair while ago and like every single one of my ancenstral bynner... I fell off the shield wall. Managed to half survive and died. Sat there laughing as I managed to survive what several others didnt. Cant even remember if I remembered to emote twitching afterwards but I totally should have.

[Erythil]

On patrol, doing tryhard emotes about being a badass with keen eyes.

"I see nothing nearby."

IMMEDIATELY followed by 'someone attacks you.'

[Hauwke]

Yeah that shit sucks. Especially if you roll low agi/have shit armor and get pwned by it in the face or neck.

[Bushranger]

Code Select Expand

give head templar

also

Code Select Expand

emote pees across the room at ~elf

[Rathustra]

When I was a PC Red Fang I party-crashed a tribal party with a fellow tribe-made. We were upset that the Red Fangs hadn't been invited. So as my friend kept the various tribals occupied - I nabbed their bag of snacks and we ran off.

Take that, other tribals.

[Majikal]

Remembering old stories...

Once Hawk (Hawksmear) and Dream (Wet Dream) two very talented melee characters were out hunting the grasslands laughing about how weak northern animals were. Then a bored staffer takes an interest in us.

A stilt lizard showed up and beat us each within an inch of our lives, kicked, disarmed, all sorts of ridiculousness... lept on one of us and clawed us to bits and ran off.

As we stumbled around bleeding, both with like 10-20hp hunting this demon lizard, it would randomly show up.

a stilt lizard arrives from the west
a stlit lizard looks at you
a stilt lizard seems to smile
a stilt lizard runs north

Hawk and Dream surrendered before agreeing to never tell a soul.
-------------------------
Watched a bynner run off the shield wall.
Response: Say (sadly) Classic Bynner.
-------------------------
Watched a crazed man named Vash skin 70+ buzzards in one room with a single glorious macro.
Also watched Vash do bad things to a dismembered head. RIP Lizzie.
Also watched Vash do a barrel roll while shooting fireballs, I think there was some air force jargon shouted at one point.
Proceeded to be uncomfortable around Vash, everyone thought the crazy shit he said was a joke, ya'll were crazy for realizing that asshole wasn't joking.
-------------------------
Killed someone with the emote: The pitter patter of tiny feet can be heard as @ comes running out from beneath the table full tilt towards you!
Backstab
Man I miss that midget.
Go figure, he died via backstab.
-------------------------
Witnessed the dwarf with the bulbous templar and the locking of the odd urges thread afterwards.  
-------------------------
Late one night played kruth at a table with magickal people and magickal beings, staff commented with 'oh what the hell guys, really?'
-------------------------
Before they were removed, once mudsexxed in this fashion.
em kanks
em kanks
em kanks
em kanks
eat sandwich
eat sandwich
sleep
-------------------------
have mudsexxed using ONLY terms from http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/  (Seriously NSFW)
Expert level mudsex, attempt at your own risk.
-------------------------
My sig.

I'll think of some more, I'm tired.

[555]

A stump, after being rescued by my sharp from an enraged ankheg:
"I thought I was going to die down there, I had told you to run and not look back, you disobeyed orders, but I have to say, thanks, I owe ya, big time."

My sharp, in response:
"It makes perfect sense if you think about it, I wanted to steal a fat little stump from an ankheg. Don't take it so personal."

Laughter and awkward bonding scene follow.

[Refugee]

When my current PC dies I will add a story to this thread!

Also...pick any time my Byn sarge spent with Albie the half-giant.  That guy could get me laughing so hard I couldn't type.

My sergeant used to seek refuge on top of the gate to the Nakki Byn compound, where only a few people knew to look for him.  This was back when you could hire as many Bynners as you wanted, think we had about 20 active...we were recruiting two or three a day and killing them off just as fast.  Fun times...but harrying!  Some days Sarge just needed some quiet time.  Anyway, he was sitting there with a few others, telling about how during his runner days, he'd sneaked up atop the Tuluki gate to piss through the murder hole on the guards and then run off.  Well, Albie, being a half-giant, of course gets up and does it!  Knocking guards over down there while a sergeant is sitting there watching in shock.

[Jihelu]

I sparred someone, we were just using fists, with a sword once that I had etwo'd from like three hours prior.
Oh god I panicked.

[nauta]

I was rat hunting in the sewers with a half giant once, with tainted blades in hand.  We decided to have some fun with the shit objects down there, and the half giant picked up one of the hardened turds and tossed it at me, using the throw command, which initiated combat, which caused me to taint the shit out of her, and of course she didn't have tablets, or I think I forgot which taint was on the blades, we were all very confused, and she just fell asleep in the shit.  She also beat the shit out of me, which I roleplayed as getting punched down a tunnel of shit.



I was once asked by a Lord Oash to retrieve a child's head from the rinth.  I didn't know about wish or the behead command, so I just killed an urchin (which, it turns out, took forever) and grabbed the corpse and walked back to the Oash estate in the Commons with it.  I bumped into Lady Templar and her main aide on the way there.  She asked why I had a dead urchin in my hand.  I told her the truth.  She waved me on.  Lord Oash fired me when I dumped the urchin in his meeting room.



I was hired by Salarr, and the first thing I did was steal the cook's cooking pot, which worked, then tried to plant it back on her after my boss got suspicious, which failed.  All seemed just fine until we tried to go hunting, and as soon as I left the Salarri compound gates everyone started shouting about a criminal!  Awkward.

Good times.

[BadSkeelz]

Walking in to the Red's Retreat, see there's a bunch of Merchants and tressy-tresses at the bar.

>look bar

On a large wooden bar
 The Hoity-toity Merchant
 A Templar's' squeeze
 The tressy-tressed sexgod
 A severed human arm

say (finger pointing as #Me stalks towards the bar) WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

>get arm bar [waving it around at those seated at the bar]

say (incredulous) WHAT IS THIS?!

Queue round of surprised blinking and fumbled explanations from all around. Turns out they'd been doing shots over this thing for hours.

Always >look bar, people.

[555]

Walking in to the Red's Retreat, see there's a bunch of Merchants and tressy-tresses at the bar.

>look bar

On a large wooden bar
 The Hoity-toity Merchant
 A Templar's' squeeze
 The tressy-tressed sexgod
 A severed human arm

say (finger pointing as #Me stalks towards the bar) WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

>get arm bar [waving it around at those seated at the bar]

say (incredulous) WHAT IS THIS?!

Queue round of surprised blinking and fumbled explanations from all around. Turns out they'd been doing shots over this thing for hours.

Always >look bar, people.

That's some, handy advice. The realization was likely a bit disarming.

[valeria]

I've had a few moments where I laughed myself into tears, and one or two where I called Zoltan in and he started cracking up as well. 

Unfortunately, I don't remember what any of them are.

[Asanadas]

I really showed my ass once. That stands out to me as the weirdest thing. In-game, heh.

I might be able to talk about it in a year.

[TheWanderer]

Unfortunately, I don't remember what any of them are.

I feel ya.

I distinctly remember laughing hysterically at the computer, but the passage of time and absence of logs leaves everything a little fuzzy. My current character has moments I'd like to share, but... alas.

I guess the silly shit on my Bynner/independent mercenary/His Arm private/deserter (which was basically my first character and dumb as a brick) is the extent for now  - trying to fuck elves 'cause I wasn't sure if they were hot or not yet, downing skellebain with dwarves and proceeding to rock the tavern scene, competitions in the Byn where people casually shrugged off assistance and walked away with 5 hp (me being one of them). Good times. Sometimes I regret storing him.

My favorite scenes usually revolve around dwarves. The dwarf that used to throw darts at everybody, the dwarf that wouldn't bow to nobles and templars 'cause he didn't bow, the dwarf and the human mudsex. Whew.

[rishenko]

Proceeded to be uncomfortable around Vash, everyone thought the crazy shit he said was a joke, ya'll were crazy for realizing that asshole wasn't joking.

You're spot on - he wasn't joking.

A few of my fav moments (all Vash related cause I can't remember most of my other chars):
The look on a couple newish Salarr hunters' faces when they came in to see Vash (who had been gone for six+ in game years) taking on and killing a carru naked with a stone blade.

Vash, drunk, walking out of the Sun King's Sanctuary, naked except for a mask or something and shaking his penis at a Jihaen. Arrested.

Using his trident to spin around in a braxat's shell in the T-lands and yelling out, "Vash in a half-shell, braxat power!!!"

Vash was a whore before Salarr. He took an evening to teach his entire crew how to properly skull fuck - using a severed head. Oh, that was after he used it to forcibly give head to his drugged up, knocked out commanding officer - again in front of the crew.

Vash skullfucking a variety of severed heads from various races and animals.

Vash getting burned from the inside out by a Krathi, thinking he could learn the power of flame that way. He looked like Deadpool afterward.

Every single damn scene with Majikal, XD, Fathi, Delirium, OHST, and manonfire was brutally disgusting magic.

[Desertman]

I had an OOC meltdown as a young teen in front of my entire Byn unit with my newbie ranger about being pissed off about never being able to skin a scrab even though I was a ranger.

Like fifteen years ago me and my buddies who were new to the game all rolled up assassins together to be "the badass assassin crew". Yeah, this went well. I recall us all standing in Thexi's talking about how we were going to be this badass assassin crew and Thexi coming alive and saying something like, "You are assassins? Guards! Guards!", my buddies spam ran, I stayed just long enough to point at Thexi and say something stupid like, "If you tell anyone, we will get you next!!!".......This crew died when each of us masterfully plotted against each other like two days later and killed each other one by one for our newbie coins....I forget who was the victor but they probably died to a scrab a day later.

I once tried to codedly hit Halaster's avatar in game when he came down floating on a cloud or something like that to rebuke my buddies and I for doing something stupid and completely OOC that I can't really recall. I think it gave me a message about swatting at the air in front of me or something. He smited me on the spot.

I wrote up a ranger once who's mother was a secret vivaduan. I then went on to roleplay this somehow gave me semi-vivaduan powers. I have no idea how this got through the app process. It HAD to have been just overlooked. I was never important enough for staff to ever watch me either. Well, one time someone I was with got hurt badly. My bandage skill was actually pretty good and they were knocked out. I then bandaged them but did an emote about healing them with glowing blue light from my hand. Nobody had ever stopped me from roleplaying my little vivaduan cantrips  alone by myself before, so I thought this was fine. To my knowledge staff never did notice this either for the entire life of the PC.

I wrote up a PC called Tyrone Beggums who was written after Dave Chapelle's character Tyrone Biggums. I can't believe this got approved. I will say that I managed to score a spice dealer in Allanak in less than three hours played. I played him for about two days before his kleptomania got him killed in the streets.

I once hired a homeless starving girl in game to "eat my sausage", for the singular purpose of paying her to do it in sausage...I was laughing so hard the entire time and making it as weird as possible with every intention of logging it...only to get finished and realize I hadn't setup logging correctly. I regret failing to log this correctly to this day.

I peed on someone in game once after knocking them out and robbing them only to have staff come down to talk to me about it a few minutes later. Apparently they thought this was a sexual thing...I was like, "Nope, I did it just because my character thought it was hilarious...I'm not into the peepee.", they were completely cool with it after that.

I once had a Kadian family member bet me I couldn't find a whore that would let me strap a war saddle to them and ride them around The Gaj while spanking them with a bag full of gith skulls.....I won five hundred coins.

I got kicked out of a noble House by a noble for sleeping naked on a hammock on the family estate's front porch more than a handful of times....to be fair, they gave me several warnings about it first.

I beat someone up in game once and told everyone I did it because that person insulted my character. In reality, I did it because his gay lover hired me to do it...the reason this is funny is because apparently the gay lover was incredibly angry that his boyfriend had been going behind his back to....give mouth love to a half-giant and he had snuck around and followed him and watched him do it....(That's more funny as a whole and not because of what I actually did I guess.)

[Desertman]

Oh another one....

I once shadowed a pair of lovers into their apartment. I then sat through the most awkward and goofy mudsex I've ever seen. The part I recall the most is something like, "The tressy-tressed aide kneels down and takes out the manly man's spear. She then starts using her luscious lips to polish his spear with vigor.".

Polish his spear....they really just typed out "polish his spear".....AHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

I literally fell on the floor laughing for this one. I laughed so hard I was crying.

You guys make this game worth playing.  

[LauraMars]

Jonglo the Juggler

Accept no substitutes

LOG UPON REQUEST

[LauraMars]

Also:

Access Tunnel [NEW]
Just so much poop is here.
Lots of pcs are here.

>Sewage floods the room, into your eyes and up your nose.

The supple half-giant youth exclaims, in southern-accented sirihish:
     "BLAHRJAGHRRRRGGHGHHHH!"

You hear a man's voice shout from the west in tribal-accented sirihish:
     "Brguugh!"

The supple half-giant youth shouts, in southern-accented sirihish:
     "GHURURRRGGGGFFFF!"

Spluttering as she forces her face above the wash of feces and other bodily wastes, you shout in sirihish:
     "FWAAHHGGHWWAA!"

[Vwest]

An emote to the tune of "... like a Zalanthan fucking Moses."

During mudsex.

I almost died laughing.

We once painted our Sergeants face up like a Tuluki mime while he was sleeping off a spar with a mul, in Allanak. He promptly changed his tdesc and ran with it, only to be executed by a Templar as a Tuluki sympathizer. I laughed, though I felt a little bad about it.

Traded shots with the Mad Chalker, lamenting lost loves and broken dreams, only to have the both of us pass out and have an out-gross each other competition about vomiting all over the place and such. I lost.

Harassed a 'rinthi half-breed Bynner, who was in love with a half-breed Tuluki, about the virtues of plundering northern maidens, nailing her for the Highlord and related things, escalating until a staff member said I should knock it off. I never did find out if I just offended the player, or some staffer found quirri milk innuendo over the line.

Mudsexed in 'a large bag', to the side of Caravan Road, only to have an entire unit of Byn show up to 'check it for loot'. Awkward.