Character Generation Tips

[LoD]

I find that I typically write descriptions as if you were looking at someone in reverse order, from least important to most important.

1. Far to Near

I normally write broad to specific, far to near.  I'll start with how they are framed, how they move, limbs, dimensions, weight, skin tone -- things that you could tell from a short distance.

Example:

   Willowy as a loreshi reed, this man's narrow shoulders hang in a
depressive slump from which a pair of gangly arms descend, gnarled and
bent like a twisted branch.  Often moving with a nervous energy, spindly
fingers connect to a pair of bony palms that appear heavily callused from
some years of harsh labor.  Ashen skin, pallid and slack about his bones,
lends him a sickly appearance when exposed to direct sunlight.

2. Toe to Head

As I write, I find that I almost always move from general to specific and toe to head.  I don't follow a pattern of what someone might "see" when they look at someone, but rather the pattern of what someone might "see" when they type "look <person>".  The screen will scroll up, and if the description is cut off they'll probably glance at the last 2-3 sentences of my description followed by my equipment.

I want those 2-3 sentences (at the end of my desc) to be what the character would probably see first if they were really taking a look at my own character; facial features, hair, etc...

Example:

   Hidden with the recess of his bony socket lay a pair of glittering black
orbs, flitting back and forth like a pair of angry beetles.  Sprouts of a
murky black hair jut from his brows and chin, untamed and caked with
gritty muck and sand.  His features are hawkish, withered cheekbones
elongating his nostrils and pointed jaw.  Visible just beneath his left eye
is a poorly inked, black serpent.

3. Use Words that Support a Theme

I try to use words that support how I want my character to be perceived physically.  I want a "feeling" to be associated with the words that I choose.  In the example above, I used the following words to reinforce a character that may be malnourished, ill, diseased, cursed, have mental problems, paranoid, skittish, weak, etc...

"Willowy" - thin, shifty, bending/weak

"His shoulders hang" - How someone carries themselves can say a lot about their personality.  I could have written "His shoulders support" or "His shoulders drape" or "His shoulders provide" -- each conveys a different meaning.  Hanging implies someone submissive, beaten, or weary.

"...spindly fingers...bony palms..." - Reinforce an image with the words that you choose.  These words create images of someone frail, but quick, no excess fat might mean someone desperate.  Spindly hints at something always moving, or moving quickly.

"Ashen skin,...slack about his bones..." - Pale skin is uncommon, and implies a good deal of time either spent indoors or covered up.  And why would someone be covered up or indoors?  Because they were sick?  Because they were afraid?  Because the sun doesn't reach where they live?  Lots of neat possibilities by just using a few images and words.

These are just a few tips for how -I- personally write character descriptions, but writing is a very personal process.  Everyone will be a little bit different and develop their own style.  I hope that some of this may help you to find yours.

-LoD

[Yokunama]

These are just a few tips for how -I- personally write character descriptions, but writing is a very personal process.  Everyone will be a little bit different and develop their own style.  I hope that some of this may help you to find yours.

I have to agree with LoD. Yes, writing is a very personal process.

Heres my sids:

It wouldn't hurt to use zalanthan adjectives to describe the shape, feel, and look of your character's features. An online thesaurus can offer you a lot of help as well. Also, if your character is from a certain area of the world, give them some of the characteristics only people from that part of the world would have.

Please, don't be afraid to add scars, mutations, to your character. Everyone is not as beautiful as Amos. You can also be creative and fill your character with holes (piercings) or turn them into a walking picture (tattoos).

Don't feel because it takes you day or so to write up a description, because thats a normal sign of writers block, and everyone is going to have a casee of it every now and then.

[Cuusardo]

One thing I noticed that I have noticed happens periodically with PCs is that the PC is "all head".  (I have been guilty of this before, and had to rewrite the entire mdesc.)  When proofreading the mdesc, look over it to make sure that you haven't devoted most or all of it to the PC's head, face, or any other body part.  Try to balance out what you're describing.

[picklehead]

Regarding a few of the examples in this thread:

Personally I like to stay away from describing characters as pretty or handsome or something of that sort. I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and while you may think your character is such, the person looking at them might find those same qualities to be unappealing. I think it's better to describe a character as objectively as possible and let those that interact with them decide how they feel about their appearance.

[Lizzie]

Descriptions aren't my strongest point but here's something I try to keep in mind:

Tell the player what he sees, and don't tell the player how he sees it.  Most of the time my character will have something covering her torso and most of her legs. So I'm not going to include the scars around her bellybutton, or the tattoo on her thigh. I'll save that for coded scars and tattoos so if she has some reason to take her clothes off, that's when another player will see them and not before.

I won't show "a pretty girl" but I will describe things in a pretty way so the reader can come to that conclusion on his own if it's IC for him to. So like,

"She has luminescent green eyes with flecks of gold, framed by thick, long lashes and delicately rimmed with kohl" is a "pretty" description. I want you to think I have really pretty green eyes. If my character had really ugly green eyes it might look like this instead:

"Dull yellow spots the woman's green eyes, with slitted pupils. Thick furry lashes run roughshod from one corner to the other, made even more pronounced by dirty-black kohl slashing above the rim of the eyelid."

They're the exact same eyes. Bright green, yellow flecks, thick lashes, kohl. Except one is written to make the reader think they're pretty and one is written to make the reader think they're ugly. I'd only do something like that if I wanted that body part to really stand out. Like eyes, or describing a facial scar, or a really thick or long neck, something unusual, or something that sets itself apart from the rest of face or body.

L. Stanson

[Djarjak]

I think this is good info and an important topic.  I have every intention of linking this in applications so that it might help future Armageddon Addicts.

Thanks to you all for the great words of wisdom. Feel free to add.

[FightClub]

Here let me put in my expertise then.  Write down a mess of crap in five minutes, a good description never takes more than fifteen minutes to complete.  Second you spell check it through hotmail or something else.  Then you read over it to make sure you don't sound like a retard.  Then finally you toss some creative words in there using thesaurus.com that no one would actually use in their entire life to make you look like you're "down" with these elitist.

Backgrounds -- however, are where I spend the time.  And often oh so not enough of it.

AND NEVER USE Zalanthian words that aren't commonly known in your sdesc or physical or anywhere! It it's not in a helpfile then bah you shouldn't be using it!  Your average person isn't going to know what a numbnut haired gwoshi eyes tregil fingered braxat tongued bantha fodders is colored, and might not even know icly or oocly what color it is-- so for the sake of god just say brown haired black eyed .... bleh bleh bleh it might sound generic but atleast I'm not sitting in lala land wondering if you're my type because I like blonde's not red head's and your hair is tandu and I have no idea what a tandu is because I'm from mars, I've never seen a tandu!  And let alone what poor descriptors these words are, and tandu gwoshi, anything could probably be fifteen different colors depending on age and size, that goes for basically everything, even wood!

And take this as a warning baobab tandu skinned yompar eyed holligans, I know who you are, and I will stab every last one of you, I hate you all! HAHA!

And I'm not alone, Foamy will help...

[Djarjak]

Then finally you toss some creative words in there using thesaurus.com that no one would actually use in their entire life to make you look like you're "down" with these elitist.

You had me until this part. Don't do this. And here's why: we get dozens of applications every day. When we get applications who misuse common words because they did this, we reject them.  If you, the player, don't know what a word means or don't know how properly to use it, then you shouldn't use it. Armageddon is not a game where you get extra points for having a larger vocabulary.

[Cale_Knight]

I think he was being pretty transparantly sarcastic, D-man. Not serious.

[Djarjak]

Oh, I know, but I'm sure there's at least -one- person who won't get that.

[Cuusardo]

It would be nice if posts in sticky threads such as this one would be kept to things that would legitimately help newbies who read them, rather than attempting to make jokes that might confuse those who mistakenly take them seriously.

[FightClub]

I actually do all of what I posted, most of the words I get off of the thesaurus I know the definition of, but a few times I don't that's when I click for dictionary results of the words used.  It's both serious, and sarcastic.  I really do have a peeve for people who use a slew of arm'ish words in their physicals, sdesc don't bother me as much for lack of variety, but I believe that physicals should be truely what a person would see, and they might not know what to see when tembo shows up.  If this is especially for use of newbies, then I -highly- highly reccomend you don't spend all of the time suggested above writing it out, because as we all know newbies tend to die quick and often.

EDIT: And occasionally I IM this guy from another mud I play, and have him write my descriptions for me.

[spawnloser]

I know a player whose first ever character lived almost two years real time.  Not all newbies die quickly and frequently.

Also, don't suggest to people that they use certain types of words (small or big)...just that they use the words which work best and which they understand how to use.  This is what will produce better descriptions.  Don't impress players with big words...impress them with a well-written, cohesive description.  One of the best descriptions I've ever seen didn't use any obscure words whatsoever.

[xandir]

I cant seem to keep a PC alive so i dont want to spend 1 second extra on a descript then i have to. throw something down submit it and go on I know your all gonna yell at me for this..But its my comment and ill say how i feel.

[jstorrie]

You could always write the description for your new character while your current one is still alive, xandir. In fact, it's not a bad idea to keep a little text file with a handful of pre-written descriptions for different types of characters. That way you won't have to spend any seconds at all when applying for your next one.

Five or six lines is pretty sufficient for a description anyway, and making a good one won't really take any bite out of your time. You never know when one of your 'throwaway' characters is going to last for eight months - why risk getting saddled with a mediocre mdesc?

[Djarjak]

-laughs- No, it's ok. It's fine to have that take on it. I think a lot of the recommendations in this thread are designed more to make it easier for folks to write a desc in just such a situation.

[Akoto]

Here's some of what I do when describing ...

Consider the dominant traits of your character. Things people might first notice about them. You know, the kind of stuff that they'd mention when trying to point you out to a friend:

"He's that man over there. See him? The one with the scar over his right eye."

Picture your character in your head, and then pick out those dominant traits. Once you have them listed, figure out a way to connect them logically within your description. Lets say your character has a scar over his right eye, and long hair. Example:

"At some point in the past, it appears that the man bore an injury just above his right eye. The swath of flesh has since healed shut, but a ghastly scar remains. It is often obscured by the mane of black hair crowning his scalp, however."

In the above example, we've taken two very basic traits and connected them in an interesting way, instead of simply saying that he has black hair and a scar. It gives the person a much clearer and more involving picture of your character. How did he get the scar? What could have inflicted such a wound? Do you see it through his hair?

Another tip, which someone has already mentioned, is to give your character some unappealing traits. Remember that Zalanthas is a very harsh place. Depending upon where you live, you are probably parched for water and walk through abrasive sandstorms on a daily basis. Bathing is likely unheard of for most.

My current character is wildly rich compared to most Zalanthians, yet he's anything but a supermodel. You don't have to be fine-featured and statuesque to be interesting, and money can only fix so much. My guy is old, overweight and dresses flamboyantly, and that seems to interest people!

[Djarjak]

Adding this, as it is useful and has repeatedly been requested to archive:

Ghardoan's Aramgeddon MUD Resources

Character Personality Questionnaire

Part I, Basics:

1. What is your character's full name, including any nicknames?

2. What is your character's race?

3. What is your character's age?

4. What is your character's sex?

5. What is your character's place of birth?

6. What does your character look like?

7. What have you decided for his guild/subguild?


Part II, Emotions:

1. What makes your character feel happy?

2. What makes your character feel angry?

3. What makes your character feel sad?

4. What makes your character feel secure? What makes him or her feel insecure?

5. What makes your character feel afraid or upset?

6. What makes your character feel jealous?

7. How does your character respond to positive emotions?

8. How does your character respond to negative emotions?

9. How does your character cope with emotional extremes?

10. How does your character outwardly express his or her emotions?


Part III, Lifestyle:

1. Does your character have any peculiar quirks or habits? If so, what are they?

2. Does your character suffer from any addictions? If so, what are they?

3. What does your character do for a living? Does he or she enjoy it?

4. Does your character have any hobbies or particular interests? If so, what are they?

5. What social situation would your character feel most comfortable in?

6. Does your character speak in an usual or remarkable manner? If so, what is it?

7. How does your character dress? How would he or she prefer to dress, if given the proper means?

8. Does your character drink alcohol? If so, how much, and how often?

9. Does your character indulge in spice? If so, how often, and what varieties?

10. Does your character enjoy gambling? If so, what forms of gambling?

11. What is your character's favorite possession?


Part IV, Views and Opinions:

1. How does your character view the world in general?

2. How does your character view his or her self?

3. How does your character feel about his or her current social status?

4. What does your character think about his or her current nationality?

5. How does your character generally feel about figures of power or authority?

6. Does your character have strong opinions about any particular races? If so, which, and why?

7. Does your character have strong opinions about any particular nationalities? If so, which, and why?

8. Does your character have strong opinions about any particular organizations? If so, which, and why?

9. Does your character have any particular spiritual beliefs? If so, what are they?


Part V, Mentality:

1. What is your character's general outlook on life?

2. What does it take to earn your character's trust?

3. What does it take to earn your character's loyalty?

4. What does it take to earn your character's friendship?

5. How does your character typically react to strangers?

6. How does your character typically react to figures of power or authority?

7. Does your character believe in any particular values or virtues? If so, which, and why?

8. What kind of leader is he? How does he view and interact with his subordinates?


Part VI, Sexuality and Romance:

1. What is your character's sexual orientation?

2. Is your character monogamous or polygamous?

3. What is your character's sexual history?

4. How does your character feel about sex, and why?

5. What does your character generally find attractive in another person, both physically and otherwise?

6. Does your character easily become attached to a lover? If so, why?

7. Would your character be interested in a romantic relationship? If so, why?


Copyright © 2004 Aaron Goulet. Please direct any questions, comments, or suggestions to ghardoan@hotmail.com.

[Hymwen]

That is exceptionally useful. Thanks!

[Lizzie]

Proxy is acting up again so this post will probably have some stupid slash marks. It isn\'t me, I swear!

One thing I see occasionally that I wish I didn\'t see, is descriptions that read as though they were paragraphs in romance novels. Sentence after sentence of metaphors and similes that you have to read several times just to figure out the color of the guy\'s skin.

I don\'t think everyone has to be abrupt (he has orange skin), but if NewGuy walks in a crowded room in the middle of a few discussions, and a few people in those discussions are \"looking\" at NewGuy, all the RP ceases for a couple of very awkward minutes because it takes so long for those people to try and decipher the description. An example of what I mean (making this up, no reference to any living or dead PC that I know of):

Musculature like the vast dunes of the desert ripples and flows in ebbs and tides down his arms, the sultry subtle hue of a clear sky when Jihae and Lirathu perch overhead on a starless night.

That isn\'t even as poetic as some of the ones I\'ve seen but it gives an idea of what I mean. When a description is written in a way that implies the writer wants his paragraphs to read like the description of that Romance Novel model guy, as a player I just have to laugh. Very loudly. My character will know only that he has muscles and reddish-black skin, thus wasting all the writer\'s efforts in trying to impress whatever characters happen to notice him.

Do I have a solution? Nope. But I do find there is a balance between textual masturbatory descriptions and the \"He has muscles. His skin is dark.\" simplicity. I strive for the balance between the two.

L. Stanson

[Socko]

Keep a notebook. Write down some vague physical descriptions of people in general. People-watch. Think up the general appearance of a person; how they can look so different and yet so similar. Think on verbiage to express those differences.

Tack on some other minor details; scars, tattoos.. anything you like, really. Think on how a person's life and mindset can affect how they look. If a mul's gone through a life of pain and misery, express it in his characterization. Express it in his appearance.

Scars. Deep-set eyes. That sort of thing. I don't know how that really helps, but it might.

[tortall]

It seems that Darklyn's Character Creation Tips is gone.

My poor beat up brain is not good at thinking up words. Would anyone happen to have another site like that one?

[Agent_137]

is that the one with all the different types of faces listed and such? I have a copy somewhere on my other computer that I can host if there's not already a mirror somewhere.

[Is Friday]

http://web.archive.org/web/20011208073914/http://www.ci-n.com/~darklyn/armageddon/char.html

[Lizzie]

This:

One thing I noticed that I have noticed happens periodically with PCs is that the PC is "all head".  (I have been guilty of this before, and had to rewrite the entire mdesc.)  When proofreading the mdesc, look over it to make sure that you haven't devoted most or all of it to the PC's head, face, or any other body part.  Try to balance out what you're describing.

...bears repeating, after all this time. Lots of new folks who might not even notice that they're describing only their face - and if they have a hood up, that would mean - ICly - no on has even the faintest idea of what your character looks like. We don't know the color of your skin, or whether or not you're reedy or sturdy looking, if you have scars on every uncovered part of your body or if it's pristine and unblemished, or if you're missing a finger, or anything else.

Things that -typically- would be included in a main description (in my observation and opinion):

1. basic body type - scrawny, stocky, barrel-chested, hunchbacked, slender, curvaceous
2. some indication of your character's race - you don't have to say "This is a human" but you could make it clear that he has round ears (not an elf), and hair on some visible part of his body (not a dwarf), and is fairly short and thin (probably not a half-giant or mul), etc.
3. Any obvious scars/blemishes/imperfections of the skin that people would actually see if you were wearing pants, a shirt, and shoes. So we might not know that you have a third nipple, but we would notice if you only have one massive hefty bodacous left breast, but are missing the right one entirely. Oozing sores covering your body would go in this category.
4. Basic facial features: does he have 2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth, 2 ears, all in their expected locations? If so, color, width, lip type, ear shape are useful. If not, let's have a little detail as to what's unusual.
5. Hair - does he have any? If not, is he naturally-looking bald, or shaven-looking bald? What about hair on his face? Especially if it's a she - if your human maiden has a mustache, we wanna know. General length, color, and style/type (braided, hanging loosely, windswept, slicked back, filthy, dreadlocked, curly, frizzed, etc).

Lastly - if it's in your sdesc, it should be explained in your main desc. I've seen a bunch of people who might be "the tall dark man" but in their main desc, I can see about the enormous scar slashing across their entire face and missing nose, I can see their hunched back, I can see their tiny feet, but nowhere in their main desc do they even -mention- their height or skin color. I typo that kind of thing, because really he shouldn't even -be- the tall dark man. He should be the noseless hunched man, or the scarfaced small-footed man, or something that matches "what is the most obvious thing about your character that people will see" with your sdesc.