Tips on Forming Connections?

Started by geminferno, November 20, 2022, 08:38:20 PM

November 20, 2022, 08:38:20 PM Last Edit: November 20, 2022, 08:50:16 PM by geminferno
Lately, it's occurred to me that not a lot of people are willing to actually roleplay. It's extremely difficult to form connections/friendships/relationships with other PC's, even when you're trying your hardest to actually reach out and talk. Even initiating the conversation! Is there something being done wrong? What else can be done?

EDIT: To clarify, this is not me claiming a scarcity of people to interact with. I'm trying to point out the fact that the people that are around aren't making an effort to continue roleplaying with a character who is trying their hardest to form connections.

No, I don't mean that. I mean an actual lack of people wanting to interact with a character that's actively reaching out to interact.

November 20, 2022, 08:53:37 PM #2 Last Edit: November 20, 2022, 09:12:16 PM by LidlessEye
Well, I'll give you an example of what I'd do. Suppose I were playing a character that's good at hunting/grebbing. I'd find merchants that will buy materials or indie crafters that need them to practise with, and offer to send a few their way gratis with the understanding they get to practise, and eventually give you a cut once they git gud. Or find a local noble or Templar or their aides and offer them information for favor.. Just two examples that come to mind.

Basically, determine individual desires and cater to them. It will take time, but once the ball gets rolling you'll wish it hadn't :P

Your mind will be flooded with ways depending on how you play your cards
Steadfast support for a unified regime,
Is how humankind will reign supreme.

Not talking to some stranger who's being chatty at the bar is still roleplay, even if it's not very exciting or inclusive.

I would try a real life tactic like Lidless suggests- finding people with common interest to your character. Who is useful to you? Who are you useful to? Even RL most people end up associating heavily with professional acquaintances more than "some person trying to talk to them.
Fallow Maks For New Elf Sorc ERP:
sad
some of y'all have cringy as fuck signatures to your forum posts

Quote from: geminferno on November 20, 2022, 08:48:29 PM
No, I don't mean that. I mean an actual lack of people wanting to interact with a character that's actively reaching out to interact.

It's a thing.  This is what I mean when I talk about Arm not being a 'pure' RP game.  RP is the most important part of it, but it isn't like a 'pure' game where people enter a room purely looking for interaction.  It's a blend.  There are other things to do, some of which are very important to your character.  Not all those things require interaction.  There are a number of things that are absolutely necessary that -don't- require interaction.

Most people you meet are either on their way to do something or waiting until they can be on their way to do something.  Armageddon is a very goal oriented, survival-based RPG where interaction is helpful, fun, but also sometimes an allocation of time that you can't afford at a given moment.

Not as a slight to what you have been doing or it's quality, one of the challenges of both finding and maintaining interaction is to make yourself interesting to someone.  Sometimes, that's not as easy as being carefree or funny or accessible (and sometimes it is!).  In a goal oriented crowd, sometimes the worm on your hook can be as easy as presenting yourself as someone useful so that they will investigate how useful you are.  Sometimes, it will be you having to find a way to present yourself as an opportunity for them to advance some of their goals (i.e. See a hunter?  Find a way to get them to do something that you need outside the gates; it starts a relationship based off of you providing content for their character to pursue).

When you move into more and more social roles, this interaction grows more and more complex.  The 'things they need' are more and more specialized in scope, requiring more and more of people who are good at handling other players more than they are handling coded actions.

While this can be disconcerting or undesirable for the 'pure' RP setting crowd, it's got it's own little niche and charm as far as RP and interaction.  It's what the DIKU code base is good at, and why brutality and death being prevalent blend well with the style of it.

I wouldn't get discouraged.  Just remember that opening statement; most people are on their way to do something, or waiting to be on their way to do something.  This gives you insights into what other characters might be about, if you can just find out what those 'do somethings' are.  It makes you better and better at making and pursuing goals of your own, and makes the interaction challenge shift more and more away from 'not finding it' to 'not finding the interaction I need for x'.
She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together. --J.D. Salinger

Some days, most, days my interactions are meaningful. I literally log off after having a fantastic night of roleplay. Then, there are days where, after hours of build up, I get nothing.

Now, this could mostly be a 'me' problem, and I am happy to find and explore better ways of getting reactions and interactions or simply, other people could put in half the effort I do and make the game entertaining for all parties. Is that not the reason we are here? To be entertained and to entertain others? I think sometimes my roleplay could use a step up on nights where I am exhausted after my shift at work and I am by no means perfect and I hope people at least enjoy my characters to a point.

But, I'd still like to make connection with characters even if they are goal oriented. Sitting in a tavern waiting for dawn? Awesome we all do that, but at least we can try.

Quote from: LindseyBalboa on November 20, 2022, 09:24:31 PM
Not talking to some stranger who's being chatty at the bar is still roleplay, even if it's not very exciting or inclusive.

I just wish it was more of an "emote gives a look over ~lindseyBalboa and, with a scoff, turns back to what they were doing" as opposed to "ooc AFKish" or just not interacting at all.

Just let me KNOW you're ignoring me, and not "waiting for a prettier sdesc to walk in"
Quote from: IAmJacksOpinion on May 20, 2013, 11:16:52 PM
Masks are the Armageddon equivalent of Ed Hardy shirts.

Quote from: Riev on November 21, 2022, 08:54:17 AM
Quote from: LindseyBalboa on November 20, 2022, 09:24:31 PM
Not talking to some stranger who's being chatty at the bar is still roleplay, even if it's not very exciting or inclusive.

I just wish it was more of an "emote gives a look over ~lindseyBalboa and, with a scoff, turns back to what they were doing" as opposed to "ooc AFKish" or just not interacting at all.

Just let me KNOW you're ignoring me, and not "waiting for a prettier sdesc to walk in"

Exactly. Doing nothing is not roleplay. Give me an emote or something to let me know to 'gtfo'.

One thing I've noticed that has fallen off is night time RP in the various bars.

Years ago it was pretty standard to go out all day, hunt, greb, kill folks and do magicky shit, then retire to the city and bullshit away the dusk/late at night/before dawn with various levels of society from the rare noble to the more common Salarr/Kadius/Kurac whatever.

Now it appears nobody does the nighttime bar RP or very rarely.

Maybe more people are out doing nighttime hunts/outdoors shit, I don't know, only staff could really tell.

And don't get me wrong, I hate bar sitting, but it's nice to make contacts, find out about various opportunities, sell them shit, insult them, whatever the situation calls, so bar RP used to be a crucial thing at least to me.

I also agree that if you don't want to RP with someone, that is RP with the caveat that you do something like Riev described, "emote scoffs at ~elf and turns his shoulder away from ~elf."

I think this lack of RP is why we end up with characters that seemingly pop from the wilderness who can kill a Mek (I'm exaggerating) and nobody knows them because since they had no interactions, they just went out and played Single Player arm and fought scrabs and beetles all day to get their combats up.  (Not saying that's a bad thing per say as that's how it sometimes happens with me, but I'd prefer to have folks along for the ride).

Just my two cents.
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

November 21, 2022, 09:29:09 AM #9 Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 09:38:36 AM by Night Queen
Quote from: Riev on November 21, 2022, 08:54:17 AMI just wish it was more of an "emote gives a look over ~lindseyBalboa and, with a scoff, turns back to what they were doing" as opposed to "ooc AFKish" or just not interacting at all.
If people seriously really do that, you should make a player complaint instead of just posting vague stories on the forums though!

They should not be listening in on other characters and using AFK to try get out of being interacted with because that's abuse of OOC messages, if they're new they might not know not doing things to AFK characters is a courtesy thing and can be broken at any time, as well.

Maybe the rules should make it clear that people should not say they are AFK outside the gone command which automatically tells the room you are back when you do stuff, so people can't abuse it to be "half-afk" to get out of situations while actually doing stuff (and also have Gone turn on automatically after AFK 10mins since Armageddon is pretty fast paced).
I only found out about that command after a long time, and thought people were abusing emote with OOC messages, it probably needs a clearer message to make it clear it's OOC for new players, too.

Quote from: Night Queen on November 21, 2022, 09:29:09 AM
Quote from: Riev on November 21, 2022, 08:54:17 AMI just wish it was more of an "emote gives a look over ~lindseyBalboa and, with a scoff, turns back to what they were doing" as opposed to "ooc AFKish" or just not interacting at all.
If people seriously really do that, you should make a player complaint instead of just posting vague stories on the forums though!

They should not be listening in on other characters and using AFK to try get out of being interacted with because that's abuse of OOC messages, if they're new they might not know not doing things to AFK characters is a courtesy thing and can be broken at any time, as well.

Maybe the rules should make it clear that people should not say they are AFK outside the gone command which automatically turns off if you use commands so people can't abuse it to be "half-afk" while actually doing stuff (and also have it turn on automatically after a while).
I only found out about that command after a long time, and thought people were abusing emote with OOC messages, it probably needs a clearer message to make it clear it's OOC for new players, too.

I would hazard against throwing player complaints for things like that.

I've been on this game in the middle of scenes that could/did lead to my death and the doorbell goes off, or my girlfriend hurt herself and I'd have to just put in a OOC BRB, emergency.

You never know the full issue going on and as folks have said, it is a game.

You gotta give some benefit of the doubt to folks.

I liberally use BEEP when folks go AFK without telling me too, because nothing will make them tab back to Armageddon then the death beep.
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

November 21, 2022, 09:41:32 AM #11 Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 09:44:41 AM by Night Queen
Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:37:24 AMYou gotta give some benefit of the doubt to folks.
But you can quit OOC in that kind of situation, saying afkish and then continuing to do stuff now and then while avoiding is TOTALLY different, that's ABUSING the trust of players, that benefit of the doubt, in a manipulative way. :) Encouraging use of Gone instead would solve that (and so would an automatic Gone)

Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:37:24 AMI liberally use BEEP when folks go AFK without telling me too, because nothing will make them tab back to Armageddon then the death beep.
Me too!

Slight derail, but I wish Gone put a message ALA when someone is writing on a board or physical note, the one that says they are creating or whatever.

If it showed:

A tressy tressed, blonde voluptuous woman is sitting at the bar (Gone).

Then you would know that it might be a second before they respond.
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:45:46 AM
Slight derail, but I wish Gone put a message ALA when someone is writing on a board or physical note, the one that says they are creating or whatever.

If it showed:

A tressy tressed, blonde voluptuous woman is sitting at the bar (Gone).

Then you would know that it might be a second before they respond.

I like this idea.

Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:45:46 AM
Slight derail, but I wish Gone put a message ALA when someone is writing on a board or physical note, the one that says they are creating or whatever.

If it showed:

A tressy tressed, blonde voluptuous woman is sitting at the bar (Gone).

Then you would know that it might be a second before they respond.

Second this. 

November 21, 2022, 10:32:29 AM #15 Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 10:57:10 AM by Night Queen
Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:14:05 AMI think this lack of RP is why we end up with characters that seemingly pop from the wilderness who can kill a Mek (I'm exaggerating) and nobody knows them because since they had no interactions, they just went out and played Single Player arm and fought scrabs and beetles all day to get their combats up.
I think this is due to a lack of coded consequences for stuff that is silly IC: It would be good idea if there was something that tags a player for extra attention automatically if they are killing entire families of people/animals/gith etc it should attract a stampede/band of gith that WILL hunt you down - I know sometimes staff get NPCs to do stuff or talk to crime bosses etc, but relying on that only becomes another one of those timezone based problems. I've seen karma players return to the same people in the same real life day to kill them again.

There needs to be more automatic backup of the virtual world with consequences that don't rely on staff being around, so that wandering around killing randomly is more dangerous. It'd be fairly obvious what not to do to cause it. Maybe a star system, that goes up from "You notice the head of a few gith appearing up behind a dune to the distance, as if they are following you." to "OH GOD THIS ONE JUST KILLED THE ENTIRE DESERT, GITH DRUMS ARE SOUNDING AND THEY KEEP FINDING YOU WHEREVER YOU GO!" (And don't have it tick down while logged out)

One star the chalton are starting to make keening wails, attracting attention of everyone in the immediate area (the city is probably not going to be happy about this). Five stars is the chalton come flying/soldiers start to investigate food genocide (did things that are noticeable enough that a vNPC would have seen it by this point, so now wanted in the city as well). Could also add in stuff for people that stripmine hundreds of rocks, plants, etc. But if there's no staff or soldier PCs around, stuff should still happen :)

Quote from: Night Queen on November 21, 2022, 10:32:29 AM
Quote from: Pariah on November 21, 2022, 09:14:05 AMI think this lack of RP is why we end up with characters that seemingly pop from the wilderness who can kill a Mek (I'm exaggerating) and nobody knows them because since they had no interactions, they just went out and played Single Player arm and fought scrabs and beetles all day to get their combats up.
I think this is due to a lack of coded consequences for stuff that is silly IC: It would be good idea if there was something that tags a player for extra attention automatically if they are killing entire families of people/animals/gith etc it should attract a stampede/band of gith that WILL hunt you down - I know sometimes staff get NPCs to do stuff or talk to crime bosses etc, but relying on that only becomes another one of those timezone based problems.

There needs to be more automatic backup of the virtual world with consequences that don't rely on staff being around, so that wandering around killing randomly is more dangerous. It'd be fairly obvious what not to do to cause it (maybe a star system, that goes up from "You notice the head of a few gith appearing up behind a dune to the distance, as if they are following you." to "OH GOD THIS ONE JUST KILLED THE ENTIRE DESERT, GITH DRUMS ARE SOUNDING"!)

One star the chalton are starting to make keening wails, attracting attention of everyone in the immediate area (the city is probably not going to be happy about this). Five stars is the chalton come flying/soldiers start to investigate food genocide.

They will sometimes sick big baddies on you if you go cleaning house on everything you see.

But yes, if some type of automated system was in place to combat just wholesale slaughter of various groups of animals it would be nice.

Being that 99.9% of my characters do hunt, I try to impose limits on my killing.

Things like I killed a chalton or two starting out, see another one.

QuoteThink This one is young, didn't even get it's horns yet, I'll leave it be.

Think I wasn't going to fight this one, but it charged in all pissed off and crazy, oh well. (For the random time when a normally non-aggressive critter is aggro'd at everything that breaths).

Or to justify it once you get a little more beefy if your character would care:

QuoteThink That scrab is too close to the rock road, if I don't kill it, it's going to get a poor grebber heading to the mining village.

Think That spider is sitting right outside the cave, might be good to lead it a bit away from there in case someone is trapped.

Or the adverse if you're playing a dickhead.

QuoteThink If I bring these scrab closer to the city and then leave them, it's like a wildlife minefield and I'll get some new chalton boots from it.

Think If I bring that spider over near this (well known outside point) I can hope it will bury itself and then kill me a few grebbers and I can come reep the rewards later.

I remember when I was a lot more twinkish back when I first came to arm and would literally do grids on my kank, w w w w w w w s s e e e e e while looking in each direction and killing anything that moved I could kill, I did once have a super beetle sicked on me and almost kill me, damn positive it was probably staff telling me not to kill everything under the sun.

But it would be cool if some type of automated system existed that kept track of how many of a certain thing you killed a day and caused world events.
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

The chalton come flying.

Not much you can do to try and pull the pull who are disinterested from alot of side interaction as far as connections go, I think. But you can certainly mess with them for RP. That hunter who thinks he's all that? Make something up, make up something that sounds both legendary and like a world-plot. Sure, he can solo salt worms. But has he ever spotted the manscrab, watching from behind a dune?

November 21, 2022, 11:04:24 AM #18 Last Edit: November 21, 2022, 12:11:31 PM by Tranquil
My tips are remembering that this is an alien world with vastly different social expectations and customs to our RL world. Don't be afraid to be unique and a bit weird. Make shit up. Stories, ideas, maybe have a completely wrong idea about a certain thing in the Known, for a few examples. There's no internet after-all. That's how you get people interested in you, and how people remember you past all the quiet, unintrusive tavern patrons.

Playtime on a character also helps alot. Personally, I find it very rare that I invest into a brand new character because nine times out of ten, they die or they store in the first week. Not blaming them -- since I do that a lot too.

Finally, I would also recommend having alot of initiative when it comes to interaction. Someone says they hunt at the bar? Ask them what they hunt. Ask them why they hunt. Ask them if they've seen any strange animals out there, the name of their mount, etc etc.. when people see that you're interested in their character, they'll be more times then not, interested in your character.
You try to climb, but slip.
You plummet to the ground below...

Quote from: Tranquil on November 21, 2022, 11:04:24 AM
Finally, I would also recommend having alot of initiative when it comes to interaction. Someone says they hunt at the bar? Ask them what they hunt. Ask them why they hunt. Ask them if they've seen any strange animals out there, the name of their mount, etc etc.. when people see that you're interested in your character, they'll be more times then not, interested in your character.
Or they want to kill them, because THEY KNOW TOO MUCH!
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

I would like to heartily reccomend your PC finds a favorite bar, and just be there for the night.
Even if it's crafting, on a new PC without a clan, do so at the fire in a public location.
Look at people, comment on their cloak/aba/ring/token.
Glare at that elf, and sneer.
But whatever you do, try to interact.

If you must be AFK for a bit, but wanna be available, do so in an ICly private place. A table at the bar perhaps, or an office. (I do this on leadership PCs, to be available to way, mostly.)

Some days it's empty. But if the bar is empty because no people are there, and no people are there because the bar is empty... well.

My two cents.
Try to be the gem in each other's shit.

November 22, 2022, 06:25:42 AM #21 Last Edit: November 22, 2022, 06:33:53 AM by Inks
Find pcs with similar interests, and impress them with realistic personality that is believable and consistent not flowery emotes is my suggestion. There is a best buddy for everybody out there. My most popular and Kudosed mostly social PC was a bard with a lisp who had no formal training and mostly sang crude made up on the spot songs to amuse or annoy common folk.

But even a morbidly obese cannibal dwarf with shark teeth and eyes can have a best friend, he will probably just murder you later when he feels you are a threat. ...AMON.

In the end it is just about gravitating towards people your PC would feel invested in, or at least interested by, or with a little patience these pcs will gravitate towards you.

Been a little bit on a hiatus but I've noticed the lack-of-interaction trend as well over the past year.

Used to be I'd roll out of chargen and have to sprint out of the Red Storm tavern, Mantis, or Gaj in order to avoid having a bunch of people look at me and start interacting before I'd set up my emotes or even bought gear beyond what I wanted from the newb shop. It was not uncommon to be offered jobs in your first 3 hours played, invited to join this or that hunting group, this or that rebel group, etc. Everyone needed henchmen and numbers and THE GAME was where you found them.

But (and this is just a hunch) it seems now that there's a lot of groups which are primarily Discord-focused and if you're not in the friend's list you're going to be flat out excluded.

If there's another reason these folks all log on at the same time and then go off together then maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree ... but I do feel Discord is messing up the dynamic. People seem to only want to play with their buddies. Which I understand to a degree, but this isn't a Discord game. The game itself happens on the telnet port.

Quote from: Miradus on November 22, 2022, 11:43:40 AM
Been a little bit on a hiatus but I've noticed the lack-of-interaction trend as well over the past year.

Used to be I'd roll out of chargen and have to sprint out of the Red Storm tavern, Mantis, or Gaj in order to avoid having a bunch of people look at me and start interacting before I'd set up my emotes or even bought gear beyond what I wanted from the newb shop. It was not uncommon to be offered jobs in your first 3 hours played, invited to join this or that hunting group, this or that rebel group, etc. Everyone needed henchmen and numbers and THE GAME was where you found them.

But (and this is just a hunch) it seems now that there's a lot of groups which are primarily Discord-focused and if you're not in the friend's list you're going to be flat out excluded.

If there's another reason these folks all log on at the same time and then go off together then maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree ... but I do feel Discord is messing up the dynamic. People seem to only want to play with their buddies. Which I understand to a degree, but this isn't a Discord game. The game itself happens on the telnet port.
I'm banned from discord so I can't really comment too much on the specifics.

But that did always make me wonder when I found out they had one.

On discord they can monitor what you do in their discord, but not the PMs and all that.

I think that's why games that do OOC communication tend to opt for an in game OOC channel, that way you're limited to account/player names and you can't be like, Hey private message me at @dickstainaol when you go out hunting so my dude can join you.

Just like if you type peek beetle 700 times in a play session, staff will notice and be like, stop you twinky fuck.  But with discord you could be sharing everything, even your screen privately to your bros and there is no way they would know.
"This is a game that has elves and magick, stop trying to make it realistic, you can't have them both in the same place."

"We have over 100 Unique Logins a week!" Checks who at 8pm EST, finds 20 other players but himself.  "Thanks Unique Logins!"

IRC Channels would like to speak with you about 'secret friends and channels talking about Arm'.
Quote from: IAmJacksOpinion on May 20, 2013, 11:16:52 PM
Masks are the Armageddon equivalent of Ed Hardy shirts.