How long do you grieve over a long-lived PC?

[Harmless]

Hey,

So after sinking Hundreds and Hundreds of RL hours into a character, seeing their plot progress over months, seeing them form a complex life and social circle only to have it suddenly taken away, how long do you think it is normal to feel an emotional response to this?

The stages of grieving are denial / isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. For the purposes of this silly poll, I am curious when you get to the "acceptance" phase and no longer feel any of the other emotional stages as much.

People's definition of "long-lived" varies quite a lot, I am going with 30 days played. That's 720 hours, and I think for anyone that takes RL months to accumulate, so I figured that was a good estimate. I am most interested in how people deal with losing a PC that is that developed, moreso than the PCs that have been around less than that.

[Barsook]

You forgot an option of "I never had a long lived PC".

[Down Under]

Also "I don't grieve" or "less than a. Day".

[rodic]

Whatever I'm still grieving. 

[Malken]

I usually just punch my monitor, buy a new one, and then I'm fine.

[Delirium]

Depends on how enjoyable and involved their story was and how it ended. Anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months.

When you have a character for literal real-life years, you do get very fond of them. Like a pet.

[Fujikoma]

Usually by the time I get to 60-70 days +, I'm really wishing they'd fall off the shield wall or something so I could get into a new character concept, but then I realize there's very little IC reason for them to do that and that there's a whole lot of other plots that sort of hinge on my PC being there, that are important to the enjoyment of other players, but, that's just me. Any less time than that spent playing, yeah, 30 days is about my "enraged that I died" range, usually lingers a few days but after day one, well, let's be honest, I more often get upset when important PCs to my PC die, because my PC is upset and I'm already upset.

[MeTekillot]

*PK flashbacks*

[nauta]

I voted a few days.  I usually get really really mad at my mount for killing me, but I get over it after a few days.  I spend more time being upset about the deaths of others, provided I like them.

It's been said before but getting into a new PC right away helps... a lot.

[X-D]

Where is the "However long it takes to hit the create new PC option"?


Ah, there it is...I do not grieve. When I have a long lived PC they do enough and in the time I have them, many new ideas beg to be tried.

It is the short lived PCs that had potential that might cause a few minutes of grief.

[KankWhisperer]

100+ days is long lived.

I picked the months option because I don't like to see people my pc knew for a while, especially if they act sad. And having lived so long, it's hard to disconnect with sooo many people my character knew.

[Refugee]

I tend to play very long lived combat/hunter PCs.  With the exception of one that suicided to take a sponsored role, all my Arm PCs all had over 30 days played on them.  They form deep relationships and have families, and get embroiled in long-term plots, and it -hurts- when I finally lose one.  I wonder what happened to their mates and children and parents and friends.  I miss the story I was co-writing, which will go on but I won't get to be part of it.  It's like reading a really good series that goes out of print and you can never find the last book.  And often I feel guilty because people have come to depend on me for things that I can't complete.  

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

The only fix is to start another story and get into growing that one.  

[Harmless]

I tend to play very long lived combat/hunter PCs.  With the exception of one that suicided to take a sponsored role, all my Arm PCs all had over 30 days played on them.  They form deep relationships and have families, and get embroiled in long-term plots, and it -hurts- when I finally lose one.  I wonder what happened to their mates and children and parents and friends.  I miss the story I was co-writing, which will go on but I won't get to be part of it.  It's like reading a really good series that goes out of print and you can never find the last book.  And often I feel guilty because people have come to depend on me for things that I can't complete.  

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

The only fix is to start another story and get into growing that one.  

This really resonates with me. How did you answer the poll? I am curious how long it takes you to get over it, it sounds like your reactions to it are long-lasting.

[Fujikoma]

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

Awwww, shit, I think I may have been there for one. When I realized everyone had run and looked at all the bodies (I was getting chewed on pretty fiercely and screaming for help), I thought, well, time to cover the retreat by going the other way. I was mad when it didn't work and I died anyway.

[Barzalene]

I chose months, but I need to qualify that. Its not constant mourning. It sneaks up and hurts again intermittently.

[Iiyola]

I expect them to die every day. It really helps.

[HavokBlue]

Unless I was longing to play something new, there's usuallg a week or two break where I'm mad at myself for whatever dumb thing I did. Then months later I'll think of a cool plot I could have carried out with an old dead PC and get really sad.

[Refugee]

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

Awwww, shit, I think I may have been there for one. When I realized everyone had run and looked at all the bodies (I was getting chewed on pretty fiercely and screaming for help), I thought, well, time to cover the retreat by going the other way. I was mad when it didn't work and I died anyway.

If we count that one, better make it 3!  LOL.  The two I was speaking of happened on other games.  Nearly total wipes with 1 survivor each.  The one you're speaking of, I don't feel particularly guilty, because staff was sending mobs as they do, and it wasn't really anything I did (not that I couldn't have done better!).  Sorry bout that though!   .  I got you killed more than once!  You must've been having fun.  That first death...I felt bad about that, and also it was so funny...nothing anyone could do of course.

The other two... one was PvP and I should have withdrawn, we had spotted about 12 PCs/NPCs, but there were like 20 more we didn't see, and even when we realized it, I still chose to stay and fight.  Talk about a butt kicking.  And I made another -bad- decision, though I don't think it would have changed much except that we would've taken out more of them, we'd've still died.  The second was bad luck...the game rebooted while we were out and all the badass mobs repopped between us and home.  But I should've been able to get more people back.  Instead I stayed back alone to cover the retreat and sent them on, and without orders I /should/ have given to stay together and keep moving, they ended up scattered and straggling and easy to pick off.

This really resonates with me. How did you answer the poll? I am curious how long it takes you to get over it, it sounds like your reactions to it are long-lasting.

I answered 1 week, just as an average, but there are a few that I still miss badly many years later.  In particular, if they had children, it bothers me, thinking about the consequences for the kids.  Of course when you decide to have a kid as a combat PC you -know- that's going to happen.  But it's still harsh.

[RogueGunslinger]

I expect them to die every day. It really helps.

Pretty much this. I don't grieve after they're dead. Most of the time I'm seeking out that death.

[Fujikoma]

Yeah, I'll agree, I think we were supposed to get screwed there. Still, staff gave me a rather hillarious death after I escaped the battle, somehow... got to barter with a scrab, then betray the scrab to a tarantula, before finally getting eaten. I would have been bitter, if I could have stopped laughing. I sent staff kudos, simply for allowing my breed's animal rapport to show through in what was a quite desperate situation.

[Desertman]

Nothing like the next one to forget the last one.

I recommend just writing up a new quick and snappy throw-away PC and jumping into them the second the mantis head pops up.

I do this and I find it works great for forgetting your past PC.

[Refugee]

Yeah, I'll agree, I think we were supposed to get screwed there. Still, staff gave me a rather hillarious death after I escaped the battle, somehow... got to barter with a scrab, then betray the scrab to a tarantula, before finally getting eaten. I would have been bitter, if I could have stopped laughing. I sent staff kudos, simply for allowing my breed's animal rapport to show through in what was a quite desperate situation.

That's great!

[Eyeball]

More like surprise when one's still alive after one of the HRPTs.

[Rokal]

it takes me months to get over a character's passing if i've been with them for so long, Months, because I can't help but think of all of the tough times, the good times, the people the met and made friends with, the people they've influenced or have been influenced by, in my long years of roleplaying, even outside of Armageddon, there are characters i've lost in roleplay that I still grieve and miss to this day, but I always focus on the great memories of them, and sometimes, I can't help but start writing about them, writing short stories about their adventures and life, or even small poems. Something to remember them by, even if no one else would read them.

roleplaying and writing go a hand and hand and my roleplaying is this constant drive to create stories that I can remember and cherish, thus, any character thats stuck with a story for a long time is met with a lot of grief, but a lot of joy. Though, I admit, it hits me a lot harder when a character my character has known and become very close to, has trusted and such, passes on, because I often find myself 'in-tune' with my characters emotions, and feelings can, at times, feedback onto me.

[Majikal]

My last I'm still not over.  It makes the game world feel dead to me until I stumble into something I wanna do again