How long do you grieve over a long-lived PC?

[Harmless]

Hey,

So after sinking Hundreds and Hundreds of RL hours into a character, seeing their plot progress over months, seeing them form a complex life and social circle only to have it suddenly taken away, how long do you think it is normal to feel an emotional response to this?

The stages of grieving are denial / isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. For the purposes of this silly poll, I am curious when you get to the "acceptance" phase and no longer feel any of the other emotional stages as much.

People's definition of "long-lived" varies quite a lot, I am going with 30 days played. That's 720 hours, and I think for anyone that takes RL months to accumulate, so I figured that was a good estimate. I am most interested in how people deal with losing a PC that is that developed, moreso than the PCs that have been around less than that.

[Barsook]

You forgot an option of "I never had a long lived PC".

[Down Under]

Also "I don't grieve" or "less than a. Day".

[rodic]

Whatever I'm still grieving. 

[Malken]

I usually just punch my monitor, buy a new one, and then I'm fine.

[Delirium]

Depends on how enjoyable and involved their story was and how it ended. Anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months.

When you have a character for literal real-life years, you do get very fond of them. Like a pet.

[Fujikoma]

Usually by the time I get to 60-70 days +, I'm really wishing they'd fall off the shield wall or something so I could get into a new character concept, but then I realize there's very little IC reason for them to do that and that there's a whole lot of other plots that sort of hinge on my PC being there, that are important to the enjoyment of other players, but, that's just me. Any less time than that spent playing, yeah, 30 days is about my "enraged that I died" range, usually lingers a few days but after day one, well, let's be honest, I more often get upset when important PCs to my PC die, because my PC is upset and I'm already upset.

[MeTekillot]

*PK flashbacks*

[nauta]

I voted a few days.  I usually get really really mad at my mount for killing me, but I get over it after a few days.  I spend more time being upset about the deaths of others, provided I like them.

It's been said before but getting into a new PC right away helps... a lot.

[X-D]

Where is the "However long it takes to hit the create new PC option"?


Ah, there it is...I do not grieve. When I have a long lived PC they do enough and in the time I have them, many new ideas beg to be tried.

It is the short lived PCs that had potential that might cause a few minutes of grief.

[KankWhisperer]

100+ days is long lived.

I picked the months option because I don't like to see people my pc knew for a while, especially if they act sad. And having lived so long, it's hard to disconnect with sooo many people my character knew.

[Refugee]

I tend to play very long lived combat/hunter PCs.  With the exception of one that suicided to take a sponsored role, all my Arm PCs all had over 30 days played on them.  They form deep relationships and have families, and get embroiled in long-term plots, and it -hurts- when I finally lose one.  I wonder what happened to their mates and children and parents and friends.  I miss the story I was co-writing, which will go on but I won't get to be part of it.  It's like reading a really good series that goes out of print and you can never find the last book.  And often I feel guilty because people have come to depend on me for things that I can't complete.  

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

The only fix is to start another story and get into growing that one.  

[Harmless]

I tend to play very long lived combat/hunter PCs.  With the exception of one that suicided to take a sponsored role, all my Arm PCs all had over 30 days played on them.  They form deep relationships and have families, and get embroiled in long-term plots, and it -hurts- when I finally lose one.  I wonder what happened to their mates and children and parents and friends.  I miss the story I was co-writing, which will go on but I won't get to be part of it.  It's like reading a really good series that goes out of print and you can never find the last book.  And often I feel guilty because people have come to depend on me for things that I can't complete.  

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

The only fix is to start another story and get into growing that one.  

This really resonates with me. How did you answer the poll? I am curious how long it takes you to get over it, it sounds like your reactions to it are long-lasting.

[Fujikoma]

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

Awwww, shit, I think I may have been there for one. When I realized everyone had run and looked at all the bodies (I was getting chewed on pretty fiercely and screaming for help), I thought, well, time to cover the retreat by going the other way. I was mad when it didn't work and I died anyway.

[Barzalene]

I chose months, but I need to qualify that. Its not constant mourning. It sneaks up and hurts again intermittently.

[Iiyola]

I expect them to die every day. It really helps.

[HavokBlue]

Unless I was longing to play something new, there's usuallg a week or two break where I'm mad at myself for whatever dumb thing I did. Then months later I'll think of a cool plot I could have carried out with an old dead PC and get really sad.

[Refugee]

The worst thing is if you lead a strong clan on a party-wipe and reduce it to a shadow of its former self.  Talk about the guilt!  I've done that twice in my 13 years of Mudding.  The regret over those deaths have never quite left me.

Awwww, shit, I think I may have been there for one. When I realized everyone had run and looked at all the bodies (I was getting chewed on pretty fiercely and screaming for help), I thought, well, time to cover the retreat by going the other way. I was mad when it didn't work and I died anyway.

If we count that one, better make it 3!  LOL.  The two I was speaking of happened on other games.  Nearly total wipes with 1 survivor each.  The one you're speaking of, I don't feel particularly guilty, because staff was sending mobs as they do, and it wasn't really anything I did (not that I couldn't have done better!).  Sorry bout that though!   .  I got you killed more than once!  You must've been having fun.  That first death...I felt bad about that, and also it was so funny...nothing anyone could do of course.

The other two... one was PvP and I should have withdrawn, we had spotted about 12 PCs/NPCs, but there were like 20 more we didn't see, and even when we realized it, I still chose to stay and fight.  Talk about a butt kicking.  And I made another -bad- decision, though I don't think it would have changed much except that we would've taken out more of them, we'd've still died.  The second was bad luck...the game rebooted while we were out and all the badass mobs repopped between us and home.  But I should've been able to get more people back.  Instead I stayed back alone to cover the retreat and sent them on, and without orders I /should/ have given to stay together and keep moving, they ended up scattered and straggling and easy to pick off.

This really resonates with me. How did you answer the poll? I am curious how long it takes you to get over it, it sounds like your reactions to it are long-lasting.

I answered 1 week, just as an average, but there are a few that I still miss badly many years later.  In particular, if they had children, it bothers me, thinking about the consequences for the kids.  Of course when you decide to have a kid as a combat PC you -know- that's going to happen.  But it's still harsh.

[RogueGunslinger]

I expect them to die every day. It really helps.

Pretty much this. I don't grieve after they're dead. Most of the time I'm seeking out that death.

[Fujikoma]

Yeah, I'll agree, I think we were supposed to get screwed there. Still, staff gave me a rather hillarious death after I escaped the battle, somehow... got to barter with a scrab, then betray the scrab to a tarantula, before finally getting eaten. I would have been bitter, if I could have stopped laughing. I sent staff kudos, simply for allowing my breed's animal rapport to show through in what was a quite desperate situation.

[Desertman]

Nothing like the next one to forget the last one.

I recommend just writing up a new quick and snappy throw-away PC and jumping into them the second the mantis head pops up.

I do this and I find it works great for forgetting your past PC.

[Refugee]

Yeah, I'll agree, I think we were supposed to get screwed there. Still, staff gave me a rather hillarious death after I escaped the battle, somehow... got to barter with a scrab, then betray the scrab to a tarantula, before finally getting eaten. I would have been bitter, if I could have stopped laughing. I sent staff kudos, simply for allowing my breed's animal rapport to show through in what was a quite desperate situation.

That's great!

[Eyeball]

More like surprise when one's still alive after one of the HRPTs.

[Rokal]

it takes me months to get over a character's passing if i've been with them for so long, Months, because I can't help but think of all of the tough times, the good times, the people the met and made friends with, the people they've influenced or have been influenced by, in my long years of roleplaying, even outside of Armageddon, there are characters i've lost in roleplay that I still grieve and miss to this day, but I always focus on the great memories of them, and sometimes, I can't help but start writing about them, writing short stories about their adventures and life, or even small poems. Something to remember them by, even if no one else would read them.

roleplaying and writing go a hand and hand and my roleplaying is this constant drive to create stories that I can remember and cherish, thus, any character thats stuck with a story for a long time is met with a lot of grief, but a lot of joy. Though, I admit, it hits me a lot harder when a character my character has known and become very close to, has trusted and such, passes on, because I often find myself 'in-tune' with my characters emotions, and feelings can, at times, feedback onto me.

[Majikal]

My last I'm still not over.  It makes the game world feel dead to me until I stumble into something I wanna do again

[Marauder Moe]

Making a throw-away character soon is a good idea.  Get back on the horse, so to speak.  (But definitely, DEFINITELY not in the same area of the game!)


I've lost 2-year characters and got over it in a few days because I knew they were past their prime and had lived full, interesting lives.

I lost a 2-week character who was just building an exciting life and personality and it stung so bad I left the game for an entire year.


I think we grieve not for our character's lost lives, but rather their lost futures.  But the thing about the future is it's neither real nor limited.  For the one future you've "lost", there are infinite ones you can still have, just as vibrant and joyful if not more so.  All you need to do is just start writing a new beginning, once you're ready.

[wildhalfling]

I feel you on this. The worst is when it was your own fault and was something completely avoidable. After my most recent death, I was bummed all day as I realized all the cool stuff I had lined up, and characters I had interacted with was all erased and no more. It was fun while it lasted though, which is what counts most.

I seem to always have some concept in my head that I want to try out. I'll usually have written out everything about the new character and just tweak things here and there when it comes time to submit it (upon my current chars death )

[Fathi]

Usually by the time my long lived PCs die, I'm kind of relieved and eager to start a new character ASAP.

But it usually takes me a few days because I obsess over my new PC's details to the point of ridiculousness, just in case they also live for like 3 years.

[BadSkeelz]

Usually by the time my long lived PCs die, I'm kind of relieved and eager to start a new character ASAP.

But it usually takes me a few days because I obsess over my new PC's details to the point of ridiculousness, just in case they also live for like 3 years.

[Desertman]

Usually by the time my long lived PCs die, I'm kind of relieved and eager to start a new character ASAP.

But it usually takes me a few days because I obsess over my new PC's details to the point of ridiculousness, just in case they also live for like 3 years.

+1

I also have a strange sense of relief to go along with my sense of loss when a long-lived PC of mine dies.

[Talia]

I'm bummed out for a few minutes, then I notice someone new has been recruited into the clan, and I start anticipating how I'm going to kill them, too...that gets me through.

/comic relief

[Iiyola]

Talia, the bane of our IC existence....

[boog]

Usually by the time my long lived PCs die, I'm kind of relieved and eager to start a new character ASAP.

But it usually takes me a few days because I obsess over my new PC's details to the point of ridiculousness, just in case they also live for like 3 years.

Ditto.

Staff, players, feel free to kill my characters anywhere, anytime.

[Culinary Critic]

Didn't vote as there isn't a "Never" option.

I've had 3 characters out of 21 or so that I consider "long lived" in that they lived a hell of a lot longer than the others.  2 of them damn close to a RL year.  I still look back on their lives and deaths and think "Why did he....?"  "Why did she...?"

My last char didn't last all that long, but I really, really enjoyed playing the role.  I knew that every single time I chose to log in, there was a decent chance they would die.  But the death came as a shock.  I never plan my next character deeply, no desc, no idea on gear or mannerisms or speech patterns, just a concept in the back of my mind, but I had my next app submitted and was back in game in about an hour.  I'm still not over the former one, but I've chosen to invest myself in someone else's life.

My advice?  Take the things you LOVED about the character, look back on those moments when you as a player went...."oh, that was lousy RP" or..."damn, that was an ugly emote".  THEN, think back on those moments when you nearly fell out of your chair laughing, or when you could barely make out the text for the tears, or when you wanted to grab your computer and hug the ever-loving shit out of it. 

Mush all that up in your mind...and make it part of your IG presence going forwards.  Your next character, and the one after that, and the next dozen, will be better for it.

[Barzalene]

I like that attachment. If I miss them it means they were good.

[little chicken woman]

Hey,

So after sinking Hundreds and Hundreds of RL hours into a character, seeing their plot progress over months, seeing them form a complex life and social circle only to have it suddenly taken away, how long do you think it is normal to feel an emotional response to this?

I wouldn't know, I've never collected enough sentiment on any one character. Mostly they are tools for exploring or creating solo stories and plots and I'm offpeak so I haven't had a solid pc to pc friendship for a very long time. If I had to guess, having and losing a character like this would take me a week to get over, and I'd already be playing a new one meanwhile.

What I tend to be sore about is getting nostalgic for a clan I was in or for friendships and business bonds I had. Those I miss and I fight urges to sneakily alert gdb accounts that I played so and so in the glory of such and such city.

[bracken]

I feel I never want to see those I was close to through the eyes of subsequent PCs.  I miss everything that my PC has gathered  around themselves...lovers, clannies and clan, lived memories, status and connections, skills, wardrobes and gear". A story cut short of its climax. I know that it was my one chance at playing the role I may have dreamed of. (Who wants to play a kuraci cowboy breed twice)
I am saddest when one I started young dies. I feel like a kiddy killer then.  

I feel I'm past being consoled by a quicky. Have a story waiting , but go beat Divinity before I jump back in.

I think I voted 2-4 weeks. I'm ready to read the GBD by then.

[Hicksville Hoochie]

I voted the 'never stop' option, but I feel it to be a bit conditional. I had a pair of long-lived characters back in 2003/4, but nothing so much before or after that, as I tend to do silly things in the name of fun and die. 

I'm not eternally saddened by losing them (One totally went out in an awesome manner, and the other was pretty meh, but it all came about with some great rp leading to it, so I was golden.), but when I'll occasionally think about them again, I'll get a little sad and nostalgic about the fun that could've came along had I avoided those deaths.

Then again, I also feel there's a point where a character has likely passed their prime, and might be better off in storage. I haven't found out yet, but I imagine such a character would also be worth grieving a bit now and then.

[Attana]

I voted a few days.  This is mainly, though, based on my current feelings for the game.  Over the 10+ years I've been playing, I've learned to take a step back emotionally from my characters.  I tend to have rather long lived characters, though there are quite a few that lived for a month or so and I grew bored of them and did something stupid.  I lost a gemmer magicker to something stupid, and I THINK she was around for over a year, a year+ ago.  That one kind've hurt, but the pain of it went away after a couple days.  However, with that being said, I still feel the loss at random times of three of my longest lived, and wish I could turn back the clocks and do things differently.

[Lizzie]

I grieve while I'm writing up the sdesc for my next character. So - maybe a few seconds.

[boog]

Honestly, I am more wrecked when the people my characters have any sort of relationship with are killed, disappeared, or otherwise.

My characters, I'm fine with. Yours? No!

[Kismetic]

How long?  Until the motherfucker finally dies, then I'm sooooo relieved. 

[RogueGunslinger]

How long?  Until the motherfucker finally dies, then I'm sooooo relieved. 

Hahahahha, jesus. This made me laugh so hard because sometimes it's so fucking true.

[FantasyWriter]

How long?  Until the motherfucker finally dies, then I'm sooooo relieved. 

This. I generally feel more relieved than sad. They had their story. Time to move on.
Sometimes it feels like reading a book series that the author should have wrapped up several books ago.

My cuddle-puddle Krathi was the only exception.  He had a lot of story left in him, but DAMN, did he go out with a bang.

[ABoredLion]

I think it depends on how the character died as well. I was really torn up about killing a longer lived character, who was very involved in quite a few really interesting things, by essentially making a typo. I can say with absolute certainty that if that character had been killed for having been found out for being best friends with a rogue Krathi, it would have been expected. If that mammoth tailed kryl had come along and pinched his head clean off, it would have been circumstances. If he'd just been whisked away by a bored whiran, it would've been just the generally dangerous world getting to him. Dying because of a typo...especially the sort that causes your longer lived character to do something they wouldn't ever do? It's the equivalent of reading an amazing book, and then suddenly having the last sentence of it, that subsequently ends the character's life and story, be in another language you can't even comprehend...and then there'll be a little picture of a mantis head.

[Fujikoma]

I think it depends on how the character died as well. I was really torn up about killing a longer lived character, who was very involved in quite a few really interesting things, by essentially making a typo. I can say with absolute certainty that if that character had been killed for having been found out for being best friends with a rogue Krathi, it would have been expected. If that mammoth tailed kryl had come along and pinched his head clean off, it would have been circumstances. If he'd just been whisked away by a bored whiran, it would've been just the generally dangerous world getting to him. Dying because of a typo...especially the sort that causes your longer lived character to do something they wouldn't ever do? It's the equivalent of reading an amazing book, and then suddenly having the last sentence of it, that subsequently ends the character's life and story, be in another language you can't even comprehend...and then there'll be a little picture of a mantis head.

Yeah, I hate it when misconceptions of the code or typos do things like that. Like, even if I want the damn fucker to die, not -that- way, jeebus! What's even worse is when no one even seems to know your PC is dead, and it's like, uh-oh, I really wish the circumstances of this were at least known to a few, but there's nothing I can do.

[senseofeven]

It's a mixed sense of sadness, pain and guilt and the aftertastes of fondness and missing the character. I'm not sure if I'll forget my one prominent and character that made me the most proud, but life goes on and you find yourself in much more interesting adventures with new characters with your new character.

[Barzalene]

Oddly the character I miss most is one I played for less than a day. I plotted her out while playing a much longer lived pc. I spent months on her desc. And I was so bummed when I didn't get a chance to really play her.

[Pale Horse]

My last few characters have all been "long-lived."  One lasted a good few RL months while the others were a good two or three (it all blurs together) RL years.

I usually wait a good few months (3 - 6) to get the last character out of my system.

[absurdist]

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

[Fujikoma]

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Smile as you roll up your revenge PC and plot out your twinking and abuse of OOC knowledge.

Disclaimer: Kidding! Don't do this! It's bad form.

[rodic]

Never seems to get any easier.

[Tetra]

I still grieve one particular PC.  It simply wasn't their time yet.  But clearly it was since they died.

[Saellyn]

I still get super angry about one particular PC I lost to this very day. It's not grieving. My grief period when he died went through ALL the damn stages.

[Hauwke]

To be honest. My last long lived character was my only long lived one. Suffice it to say I had an incredible time playing her. Its been more than a year or so since she died, to of all things not a three story fall or the rinth rat nps she fought before that. But to some people idk if it was admins or what but they gave a few emotes wham. It struck home how easy it is to end something. I was super pissed about it and actually still am sort of. But idk it was in its own right a beautiful ending i guess. It doesnt quite stop me from wondering what if she survived but still now that i have typed this out, i feel a sense of release i guess. I may even roll up a new character sometime

[solera]

Have you written her bio? Did you save logs?

[The Silence of the Erdlus]

I think about it for a few days and feel their loss, but almost always the possibilities and excitement of the new pc outshine them. To be fair I always store before they reach two game years played. Always looking for the one.

[In Dreams]

I haven't had a PC taken from me on Armageddon yet, but I have elsewhere. I was devastated! I'd cry at first, and was pretty upset for probably a week, but eventually I'd get over it once I thought of something else that could interest me.

After I've had a PC for so long I think they become more like an alter-ego. Losing that whole persona I've had and known and loved for so long, after so much time spent playing them and seeing through their eyes, really hurts. I'm terrified of it, but I guess that possibility is part of why I play here. The atmosphere and the danger are a lot more real, knowing it could all be gone in an instant..

[Hauwke]

No i dont write bios after they are dead. I cant log so I dont rofl. But I did write the bios you can do while they are alive. I think I wrote a few.

[LauraMars]

No i dont write bios after they are dead. I cant log so I dont rofl. But I did write the bios you can do while they are alive. I think I wrote a few.

You can write biography entries after a character has died if you do it from the website.

Log in to your account on armageddon.org, select "biographies" from the dropdown menu, and then choose your deceased character.  At the bottom of the list of biography entries will be a green "new entry" button.

[solera]

It's a pity you can't log. That's what put me off tablets, though I think you can send the session to email. When my PCs die I sometimes take solace in reading highlights.  They're fun to read years later too. One day I'm going to write their bios ! To my shame, I am a skim reader, but it comes in useful for reading logs.

Whoops, I skim read your post. You mean, you can't log in. Not save logs.

[Hauwke]

No I use a phone cant log my stuff. Logging in is no issue.

[Kankfly]

I got over my last PC once I wrote up my current. I think it took me ten minutes.

[Bast]

It really depends on the Pc..some I am done with they die or I store them..If I had a lot I wanted to do with PC and lots of plans in the works then yes I mourn. I still miss my Krathi from 2007 for example. Its extra upset if I feel the death was cheap. I'd rather die in rped scene hands down ever time.