If you were on staff for one day....

[Molten Heart]

If you were on staff for one day, what would you do?

If you were an immortal for a day, what would you do?

I'd load up a half-crazed sorcerer with an undead army and send a swarm against the gates of Allanak. PCs would fight and die valiantly for their city, there would be a templar-led sortie against the hideout, and a pitched battle would ensue. And then there would be sweet loot.

Either that or I'd animate Vennant and have him sport a wry grin while polishing a mug.

This needs to be its own thread.


I would animate a Gith pack to fuck with EVERY person I saw running through their lands. Perraine arrows, Gith magickers, I wouldn't hold back.

I'd load up a half-crazed sorcerer with an undead army and send a swarm against the gates of Allanak. PCs would fight and die valiantly for their city, there would be a templar-led sortie against the hideout, and a pitched battle would ensue. And then there would be sweet loot.

That's pretty much what happened every Saturdays back in the very early days of Armageddon, when only a few selected players/characters were invited along Staff-ran plots during the weekend shutdowns.

I would animate people's pet objects at random and make probably 95% of them defecate on their owners. I wish I could say I would do pretty atmospheric emotes with them and really bring the world to life, but no, there would just be poop. I know my mind.

(I have had my mount animated by staff a handful of times over the years at random. Once, I had my ox lick me. Every other time....poop. I would be in good company.)

If you were an immortal for a day, what would you do?

You feel like you really need to shit.
You feel like you're pregnant.
Animate super desperate beggars.
Destroy Allanak and Tuluk.

[RogueGunslinger]

Animate the Byn Latrines to be super deadly.

[Eyeball]

I'd reanimate the best characters of the past as hungry undead and temporarily store their players' current characters to give those players a second round in their old (now rotten) shoes.

The rugged, one-eyed templar says, to a terrified half-giant soldier, in sirihish:
"Bring me braaainnns!"

I'd create a psionics and magick proof underworld with no exit, where people can log in as their dead characters after a year RL. All attempts to communicate would be turned into moans. But there would be fountains of bamberry.

[Fujikoma]

Gith on motorcycles, jousting.

[Malken]

I wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But I would eat Kraft Dinner

[Barsook]

I would be the Sun King and I would do something to Allanak.

[montarion]

Big metal sword in the stone in the middle of the Known.

[BadSkeelz]

run armageddon like it was a michael bay film

[Delirium]

I would run around frantically building caves and tunnels and leaving loot caches for people to find and fight over.

Then if I had enough time left I'd work on SimScripts for wildlife and/or just animate a bunch of NPCs for people to chop up with bone swords.

[Desertman]

You notice a booger hanging from the left nostril of the Noble Lord/Lady So and So.

Do that echo for the entire room, with everyone seeing it but the Lord/Lady in question. Then I would sit and wait to see who had the balls to point it out. That person would then get two karma added to their account.

[Delirium]

I'm imagining a tiny little man fornicating with another tiny little man while hanging desperately to the nostril of the lord or lady in question.

or did you mean 'booger'?

[Desertman]

Heh. Fixed.

(Though the previous version may have been arguably more funny.)

[Patuk]

Lump in some celf tribes. Spend no more than 20 minutes thinking up the proper docs for each. 'See, it can be done.'

Add a hardcoded 5% missing chance to everything across the board. Watch warriors and rangers actually grow strong from things that aren't ninja critters.

Plop down some bamuk/tandu/baby spiders/whatever in the south.

Add utility spells to mages, with the possible exception of krathi. Leave the smiting to the templars.

Buff celf stats slightly just 'cause.

[Desertman]

Change the banking code to work like stable tickets for your deposits with each banking location having its own specific ticket that couldn't be used at other banking locations for magically transferring currency risk free across the world.

Clan accounts would be exempt as a perk to being clanned/to reflect the fact you are backed by your clan with Nenyuk.

[BadSkeelz]

Make PC bodies butcherable

[Patuk]

We might as well go ahead and say that if we're changing that, we're making mount pay depend on the animal as well, replacing the current 20 coins fits all system.

[Gimfalisette]

I'd run a giant silt skimmer race RPT out of Storm. Like yacht racing, but way more deadly. I'd let literally everyone app in to play ultra-buffed mul warrior skimmer captains. I still wouldn't let elves ride skimmers, though, because elves. For bonus points, no one gets piloting skill to start with.

[Desertman]

We might as well go ahead and say that if we're changing that, we're making mount pay depend on the animal as well, replacing the current 20 coins fits all system.

I like it.

[nauta]

I'd run a giant silt skimmer race RPT out of Storm. Like yacht racing, but way more deadly. I'd let literally everyone app in to play ultra-buffed mul warrior skimmer captains. I still wouldn't let elves ride skimmers, though, because elves. For bonus points, no one gets piloting skill to start with.

breeds as coxwains!

[Desertman]

I would make every PC in Tuluk smell like poo. It would just be a script I would attach to all of them across the board for that entire day.

Any time they enter a room or leave a room you would get...

The prim, prissy woman has arrived from the north, smelling faintly of the poo.

It would of course just go off randomly as well...

The regal, well-dressed man doesn't seem to notice, but the odor of the poo surrounds him.

[Armaddict]

Well.  I wouldn't be able to see the fruition of it in one day, BUT:

I'd take a good look at clan documentation of each clan.  I'd set up a number of tiered goals for PC's to work towards, but leave them purposefully vague.  Whenever a certain number of goals of each 'tier' was completed, set up a tailored event towards the next tiered goals that was directly influenced by how those first goals were accomplished.  I.e. Direction, but change based off of PC actions and methodology.

[KankWhisperer]

I would make every PC in Tuluk smell like poo. It would just be a script I would attach to all of them across the board for that entire day.

Any time they enter a room or leave a room you would get...

The prim, prissy woman has arrived from the north, smelling faintly of the poo.

It would of course just go off randomly as well...

The regal, well-dressed man doesn't seem to notice, but the odor of the poo surrounds him.

Each location should have different poo orders.

[KankWhisperer]

Make a lush island somewhere in the silt sea after expanding it. Perfect place to live except Giants!

Also smaller islands.

[Hicksville Hoochie]

Assuming I'd have the coding knowledge to get there;

I'd make all of the gatherables in the wilds have a random spawn point within their regions at every reboot, so that those of us who have memorized those places would have to do a little exploring to find those money trees.

Then I'd go kill someone's PC in a way they'd fondly remember, because if you're only here for one day, you have to learn what it feels like to do so! >=D

[Armaddict]

I'd make all of the gatherables in the wilds have a random spawn point within their regions at every reboot, so that those of us who have memorized those places would have to do a little exploring to find those money trees.

This should be done.