If you were on staff for one day....

[Molten Heart]

If you were on staff for one day, what would you do?

If you were an immortal for a day, what would you do?

I'd load up a half-crazed sorcerer with an undead army and send a swarm against the gates of Allanak. PCs would fight and die valiantly for their city, there would be a templar-led sortie against the hideout, and a pitched battle would ensue. And then there would be sweet loot.

Either that or I'd animate Vennant and have him sport a wry grin while polishing a mug.

This needs to be its own thread.


I would animate a Gith pack to fuck with EVERY person I saw running through their lands. Perraine arrows, Gith magickers, I wouldn't hold back.

I'd load up a half-crazed sorcerer with an undead army and send a swarm against the gates of Allanak. PCs would fight and die valiantly for their city, there would be a templar-led sortie against the hideout, and a pitched battle would ensue. And then there would be sweet loot.

That's pretty much what happened every Saturdays back in the very early days of Armageddon, when only a few selected players/characters were invited along Staff-ran plots during the weekend shutdowns.

I would animate people's pet objects at random and make probably 95% of them defecate on their owners. I wish I could say I would do pretty atmospheric emotes with them and really bring the world to life, but no, there would just be poop. I know my mind.

(I have had my mount animated by staff a handful of times over the years at random. Once, I had my ox lick me. Every other time....poop. I would be in good company.)

If you were an immortal for a day, what would you do?

You feel like you really need to shit.
You feel like you're pregnant.
Animate super desperate beggars.
Destroy Allanak and Tuluk.

[RogueGunslinger]

Animate the Byn Latrines to be super deadly.

[Eyeball]

I'd reanimate the best characters of the past as hungry undead and temporarily store their players' current characters to give those players a second round in their old (now rotten) shoes.

The rugged, one-eyed templar says, to a terrified half-giant soldier, in sirihish:
"Bring me braaainnns!"

I'd create a psionics and magick proof underworld with no exit, where people can log in as their dead characters after a year RL. All attempts to communicate would be turned into moans. But there would be fountains of bamberry.

[Fujikoma]

Gith on motorcycles, jousting.

[Malken]

I wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But I would eat Kraft Dinner

[Barsook]

I would be the Sun King and I would do something to Allanak.

[montarion]

Big metal sword in the stone in the middle of the Known.

[BadSkeelz]

run armageddon like it was a michael bay film

[Delirium]

I would run around frantically building caves and tunnels and leaving loot caches for people to find and fight over.

Then if I had enough time left I'd work on SimScripts for wildlife and/or just animate a bunch of NPCs for people to chop up with bone swords.

[Desertman]

You notice a booger hanging from the left nostril of the Noble Lord/Lady So and So.

Do that echo for the entire room, with everyone seeing it but the Lord/Lady in question. Then I would sit and wait to see who had the balls to point it out. That person would then get two karma added to their account.

[Delirium]

I'm imagining a tiny little man fornicating with another tiny little man while hanging desperately to the nostril of the lord or lady in question.

or did you mean 'booger'?

[Desertman]

Heh. Fixed.

(Though the previous version may have been arguably more funny.)

[Patuk]

Lump in some celf tribes. Spend no more than 20 minutes thinking up the proper docs for each. 'See, it can be done.'

Add a hardcoded 5% missing chance to everything across the board. Watch warriors and rangers actually grow strong from things that aren't ninja critters.

Plop down some bamuk/tandu/baby spiders/whatever in the south.

Add utility spells to mages, with the possible exception of krathi. Leave the smiting to the templars.

Buff celf stats slightly just 'cause.

[Desertman]

Change the banking code to work like stable tickets for your deposits with each banking location having its own specific ticket that couldn't be used at other banking locations for magically transferring currency risk free across the world.

Clan accounts would be exempt as a perk to being clanned/to reflect the fact you are backed by your clan with Nenyuk.

[BadSkeelz]

Make PC bodies butcherable

[Patuk]

We might as well go ahead and say that if we're changing that, we're making mount pay depend on the animal as well, replacing the current 20 coins fits all system.

[Gimfalisette]

I'd run a giant silt skimmer race RPT out of Storm. Like yacht racing, but way more deadly. I'd let literally everyone app in to play ultra-buffed mul warrior skimmer captains. I still wouldn't let elves ride skimmers, though, because elves. For bonus points, no one gets piloting skill to start with.

[Desertman]

We might as well go ahead and say that if we're changing that, we're making mount pay depend on the animal as well, replacing the current 20 coins fits all system.

I like it.

[nauta]

I'd run a giant silt skimmer race RPT out of Storm. Like yacht racing, but way more deadly. I'd let literally everyone app in to play ultra-buffed mul warrior skimmer captains. I still wouldn't let elves ride skimmers, though, because elves. For bonus points, no one gets piloting skill to start with.

breeds as coxwains!

[Desertman]

I would make every PC in Tuluk smell like poo. It would just be a script I would attach to all of them across the board for that entire day.

Any time they enter a room or leave a room you would get...

The prim, prissy woman has arrived from the north, smelling faintly of the poo.

It would of course just go off randomly as well...

The regal, well-dressed man doesn't seem to notice, but the odor of the poo surrounds him.

[Armaddict]

Well.  I wouldn't be able to see the fruition of it in one day, BUT:

I'd take a good look at clan documentation of each clan.  I'd set up a number of tiered goals for PC's to work towards, but leave them purposefully vague.  Whenever a certain number of goals of each 'tier' was completed, set up a tailored event towards the next tiered goals that was directly influenced by how those first goals were accomplished.  I.e. Direction, but change based off of PC actions and methodology.

[KankWhisperer]

I would make every PC in Tuluk smell like poo. It would just be a script I would attach to all of them across the board for that entire day.

Any time they enter a room or leave a room you would get...

The prim, prissy woman has arrived from the north, smelling faintly of the poo.

It would of course just go off randomly as well...

The regal, well-dressed man doesn't seem to notice, but the odor of the poo surrounds him.

Each location should have different poo orders.

[KankWhisperer]

Make a lush island somewhere in the silt sea after expanding it. Perfect place to live except Giants!

Also smaller islands.

[Hicksville Hoochie]

Assuming I'd have the coding knowledge to get there;

I'd make all of the gatherables in the wilds have a random spawn point within their regions at every reboot, so that those of us who have memorized those places would have to do a little exploring to find those money trees.

Then I'd go kill someone's PC in a way they'd fondly remember, because if you're only here for one day, you have to learn what it feels like to do so! >=D

[Armaddict]

I'd make all of the gatherables in the wilds have a random spawn point within their regions at every reboot, so that those of us who have memorized those places would have to do a little exploring to find those money trees.

This should be done.

[Tetra]

Run an elaborate low-magick plot that the entire playerbase would remember and look back on fondly(even after dying terrible, fiery deaths).

[Malken]

85% of the ideas in this thread would make the game 200% and look like it wouldn't take very long either to implement.

Dedicated coder + Lauramas and Delirium on descriptions = Fresh new Armageddon in less than a month.

[RogueGunslinger]

There's a pretty big difference between talking about doing stuff, and doing stuff.

[cnemus]

I would put random clothing on every mob, <stuff> with an eye-patch, <stuff> with a saddle, <stuff> with bulging codpieces. Then I'd make them make sounds that almost sound like speech but is /probably/ still animal like... The <stuff> growls arr... And probably most of it would be inappropriately colored. I see rainbows everywhere, so should you!

[Beethoven]

One day? I guess it depends on whether this one day is a surprise to me or not. Do I get to plan? Am I over-thinking this?

[Rhyden]

I would implement the "necksnap" code just for Lennypopo.

[Gimfalisette]

I would implement the "necksnap" code just for Lennypopo.

I change my vote to this!

[Bushranger]

I would load up powerful NPCs that do not normally meet in the wild and stage cage fights!

The warm up bout would be between an anakore and a tarantula, relatively common beasts yet both are threatening because of the cunning tricks they employ! Then I would have the middleweight bout where a silt horror is pitted against an ankheg! The main fight would of course be a title-belt fight between the reigning champion of Allanak's arena "The Fearsom Gaj!" and our challenger "The Mysterious Roc!"

I would also add an echo to Roc NPC's so that occasionally the squawk in combat: "If you smell what The Roc is cooking!"

[Norcal]

Morning:  Animate a gith sorcerer and wreck some havoc on Luirs. 
Afternoon:  Animate a bunch of mantis and pay Tuluk a  visit.
Evening: Disease infected rats swarm out of the Allanak sewers and head for the Gaj.
Late night: The Sand Lord bans all sandcloth from Red Storm, any person wearing sandlocth goes into the stocks, where they are pelted with imported Tuluki poo. 

[Molten Heart]

One day? I guess it depends on whether this one day is a surprise to me or not. Do I get to plan? Am I over-thinking this?

Whatever you want, no limits.

[FantasyWriter]

A vast earthquake strikes east of Allanak and the Ruins of Steinal are uncovered.
The occupying giants flee Red Storm East.

[Saellyn]

I would implement everything you guys asked for with how easy it clearly is to implement things 

(note: as a former builder of a couple muds, this is facetious, it's not that easy)

[Inks]

Can't believe you had to say it was facetious after you did an eye roll emoticon. Let people post dreams is fun to read

[MeTekillot]

YOU get an open clan, YOU get an open clan, YOU get an open clan!

[WanderingOoze]

Id animate the steel dragon statue...that is all.

[Araza]

If I were staff... this game would quickly become GTA V.

That, or I'd  sponsor a mul character to take part in my own twisted version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Consider this my application.

[HavokBlue]

red fang

[LauraMars]

fire kanks

and necksnap

[Lizzie]

For one day: I'd spend the first half of the day roaming the game and fixing typos on the fly. I'd then delete the entire typo list, and post in the Staff Announcements thread that all typos were deleted, and everyone who's posted typos in the past year should go in game, see if their typo has been fixed. If it hasn't been fixed, to typo it once again.  That way the typo list would be fresh, and smaller than it was the day before.

The other half would be spent eavesdropping on everyone. That's pretty much it.

[Barsook]

Smart move there, Lizzie, with the typos.  Maybe that's what the staff should do for one day, a typo-fest.

[RogueGunslinger]

Why would you delete the list of typo's people have bugged over the years? That doesn't make much sense to me.

[Saellyn]

Why would you delete the list of typo's people have bugged over the years? That doesn't make much sense to me.

Because they would all be fixed?

[RogueGunslinger]

Why would you delete the list of typo's people have bugged over the years? That doesn't make much sense to me.

Because they would all be fixed?

You really think all the typos in game can be fixed in half a day? I think lizzies post was meant to be satire.

[Adhira]

Current entries in typo database:  Showing 1 to 100 of 969 entries (filtered from 5,852 total entries)

[BadSkeelz]

I'd go through all the requests, searching for mentions of my characters by other people because I am a vain curious bastard.

[Harmless]

I'd probably animate whores for the underserviced sectors of the population. I'd probably start with a half giant whore, then do a male whore as soon as I saw metekillot logged on, then a dwarf whore, and an elvish whore in the rinth. Basically trying to play a little of every whore role I want to play but don't have the character slot for. I'd do it for a hilariously cheap price in every case too.

[Marauder Moe]

I'd hand out superpowers to a bunch of random PCs.  Like one or two coded supernatural abilities/spells each and/or a ridiculous boost to one or two stats.

[Beethoven]

If I could figure out how to do it, I'd implement the "imagine" command I've craved for oh-so-long. I'm not a coder and I know things are harder than they seem, but surely it wouldn't be -that- hard...basically a clone of 'feel.'

I'd use my temporary 8 karma to roll up a psionicist and try it for a few hours, then get myself summarily executed and go out in a blaze of glory.

I wouldn't do anything world-wrecking or anything. I'd probably just look for noobs and help them dig in to the game world with the help of some well-placed animations, and help them get going. Then I'd keep some lonely solo-RPing d-elves company by animating their prey or some Blackwing elves or whatever. Just some little things. I wouldn't feel qualified to do more in one day.

[Lizzie]

Why would you delete the list of typo's people have bugged over the years? That doesn't make much sense to me.

Not satire at all. I'm serious. Reason: Look at Adhira's post after mine - there are almost 1000 typos, with no expiration date. There might be typos that are 10 years old that are on items that don't even exist in the game anymore. There might be a typo in a room that 20 different people have typoed about. I'm guessing all those typos on multiple NPC "twins" and "triplets" are a pretty significant proportion of the total typos, even though the error itself is singular.

So - delete the whole list AFTER going through the game and fixing what you can see first. That way, the new updated list will be updated, and anything that is no longer applicable will no longer be on the daunting list.

[Nyr]

Actually the oldest typo is 4 years old, there's some worked on every week.

[Patuk]

If companies will hire illegal immigrants, Zalanthans will hire elves. Not for their board of executives, but they will be hired.

[Adhira]

Yeah, those low hanging fruit like ones on things that don't exist anymore are the kind that we'll go through and delete every so often. So they don't show up in the totals or resolved, or in the waitlist.  The same goes for multiples.

[Talia]

Yeah, those low hanging fruit like ones on things that don't exist anymore are the kind that we'll go through and delete every so often. So they don't show up in the totals or resolved, or in the waitlist.  The same goes for multiples.

I actually look specifically for the multiples, resolve the problem, and then mark them all fixed

Gotta say that bugs are a low priority for me compared to character apps, clan reports/requests, animation, RPTs, building, projects...Ehh, screw all that, I'm just gonna go load about 20 gith into the Gaj and call it a day.

[Barsook]

Maybe the playerbase can help with those?

[Talia]

Maybe the playerbase can help with those?

With bugs? No, you need to be able to log into the game with staff powers to fix bugs. Typically they are things like duplicate NPCs, typos on objects, crafting recipes that don't work, and other small issues. They are not game- or immersion-breaking.

[Barsook]

I see.  Stupid idea.

[Lizzie]

Regardless, that's what I'd do if I were on staff for one day. Not because anyone else is slacking, but because that's what I'd want to do with my time.

[RogueGunslinger]

Regardless, that's what I'd do if I were on staff for one day. Not because anyone else is slacking, but because that's what I'd want to do with my time.

I'd be afraid of losing a bunch of typo's, but if they're already getting more than they can keep up with maybe it's not a bad idea.

[ShaLeah]

Run a Halaster style HRPT then NOT approve any new characters for the rest of the 24 hrs.

[Molten Heart]

Run a Halaster style HRPT then NOT approve any new characters for the rest of the 24 hrs.

I'd help.  I'd make he HRPT one where Tuluk takes the war to Allanak proper.  They'd lay siege to the city, forcing the Highlord and his servants to move the city to a lesser known land across the silt sea that turns out to be rich in resources. Here the servants of the Highlord plot their revenge.

Obviously this would take months to plan but the action would happen all in one day.

[creeper386]

Run a Halaster style HRPT then NOT approve any new characters for the rest of the 24 hrs.

Thats just mean ... I'm still pretty sure half of my characters deaths are his fault.

[ShaLeah]

Run a Halaster style HRPT then NOT approve any new characters for the rest of the 24 hrs.

I'd help.  I'd make he HRPT one where Tuluk takes the war to Allanak proper.  They'd lay siege to the city, forcing the Highlord and his servants to move the city to a lesser known land across the silt sea that turns out to be rich in resources. Here the servants of the Highlord plot their revenge.

Obviously this would take months to plan but the action would happen all in one day.

Yessssssssssssssss!

Run a Halaster style HRPT then NOT approve any new characters for the rest of the 24 hrs.

Thats just mean ... I'm still pretty sure half of my characters deaths are his fault.

And ShaLeah's evil, by the way.

[Desertman]

Integrate a more "tame" version of halflings and make them playable once more, but instead of being isolated little forest savages they would be able to enter cities etc...

[Voular]

I'd only animate Vennant and stare at people in the Gaj.

[Zoan]

I'd animate that knockout templar in the Bazaar and do a 'day in the life', wandering around ruining people's lives with her bitchiness.

[solera]

I would give a random normal PC an elemental taint.