Only in Zalanthas

Started by Jeshin, October 18, 2011, 07:14:38 PM

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October 18, 2011, 07:14:38 PM
The only in Zalanthas thread. Things that seem to contradict reality in Zalanthas.

1. Always having a 'wastebin' or unseen place to dispose of worthless/broken/what have you items.
2. The most comfortable chitin and bone armor known to man. Able to relax on couches and stools with ease.
3. Women only get pregnant if they really love you or they hate you enough to spend an IG year waddling

... Anything else?
October 18, 2011, 07:29:16 PM #1
Get drunk and pilot a wagon.  There are no cops to pull you over!
Murder, Corruption, Betrayal and Pancakes.
October 18, 2011, 07:33:19 PM #2
Yeah, the worst that can happen is that you crash an 80,000 'sid wagon and 20,000 'sid worth of cargo off the shield wall, and get murdered for it!


Only in Zalanthas do you automatically assume someone is dead if you don't hear from them for two weeks.
October 18, 2011, 07:39:43 PM #3
Only in Zalanthas is your cell phone reception adversely affected by the inebriation of the individual who's drunk-dialing you.
Quote from: Decameron on September 16, 2010, 04:47:50 PM
Character: "I've been working on building a new barracks for some tim-"
NPC: "Yeah, that fell through, sucks but YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIREEE!! FIRE-KANKS!!"
October 18, 2011, 07:49:37 PM #4
Only in Zalanthas does every woman have perpetually shaven legs, even if they never attend to any other body hygene.
October 18, 2011, 08:27:11 PM #5 Last Edit: October 19, 2011, 08:40:57 AM by My 2 sids
Only in Zalanthas can you have civilization built upon Clansmanship and heredity,  but no one actually has living relatives; siblings; or formal rules regarding mating and procreation for the vast majority of individuals.

*modified to add "only in zalanthas"
"The Highlord casts a shadow because he does not want to see skin!" -- Boog

<this space for rent>
October 18, 2011, 09:26:24 PM #6
Nobody has said this yet? Really?

Only in Zalanthas can you have sex for a day (or longer?  :o) straight.

Only in Zalanthas can you have sex without actually removing any clothes.

Only in Zalanthas is sex one of the most dangerous activities to participate in, but STDs are non-existent.

As of February 2017, I no longer play Armageddon.
October 18, 2011, 10:01:08 PM #7
All of those can apply to real life, Taven, if you're doing it right/wrong.
October 18, 2011, 10:03:50 PM #8
Quote from: MeTekillot on October 18, 2011, 10:01:08 PM
All of those can apply to real life, Taven, if you're doing it right/wrong.

::)/ :D/ :o
As of February 2017, I no longer play Armageddon.
October 18, 2011, 10:05:15 PM #9
Only in Zalanthas can you put 1000 obsidian pieces into your thin leather headband and remove it without dropping a single one!
The glowing Nessalin Nebula flickers eternally overhead.
This Angers The Shade of Nessalin.
October 19, 2011, 12:46:43 AM #10
Only in Zalanthas can you been born , kill yourself with in the hour of your creation and wake up alive.

Or better said,

Only in Zalanthas is there a suicide clause.
The funny little foreign man

I often hear the jingle to -Riunite on ice- when I read the estate name Reynolte, eve though there ain't no ice in Zalanthas.
October 19, 2011, 04:09:41 AM #11
Only in Zalanthas must I stand up from the bed I'm sitting on in order to put something beside me on the bed (ie arrange)

Only in Zalanthas can the air be 'silent as sand' while the sand is swirling about, obscuring my view.



October 19, 2011, 06:19:44 AM #12
Quote from: manipura on October 19, 2011, 04:09:41 AM
Only in Zalanthas can the air be 'silent as sand' while the sand is swirling about, obscuring my view.
-TO BE FAIR-, it doesn't specify -how- silent the sand is. The sand could be deafening, it'll still be as 'silent as the sand'.

QuoteA female voice says, in sirihish:
     "] yer a wizard, oashi"
October 19, 2011, 06:40:41 AM #13
Only in Zalanthas can someone forage for salt, in Salt Flats, and yet do not find any salt.
Quote from: LauraMars
Quote from: brytta.leofaLaura, did weird tribal men follow you around at age 15?
If by weird tribal men you mean Christians then yes.

Quote from: Malifaxis
She was teabagging me.

My own mother.
October 19, 2011, 07:36:13 AM #14
...or mine for obsidian in the obsidian mines, and not find obsidian. Or forage for kindling in a grove of trees and not find so much as a single fallen branch. Or "forage food for bulb" in the barrens, where the room desc says there are bulbs all over the place, visible to the naked eye, and be instructed "you cannot forage for food here."

Only in Zalanthas can you step into a shallow cave at the same topographical level as the rest of the area, during high sun, with both the red and white moon shining high in the sky - and be too dark to see without a light source.
Talia said: Notice to all: Do not mess with Lizzie's GDB. She will cut you.
Delirium said: Notice to all: do not mess with Lizzie's soap. She will cut you.
October 19, 2011, 08:33:26 AM #15
Only in Zalanthas can you personally wear enough weapons to equip an army unit, without anyone batting an eyelash.
October 19, 2011, 09:43:40 AM #16
Only in Zalanthas would that blonde even consider kanking you.
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

Quote from: Delirium on August 04, 2014, 10:11:38 AM
fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.
October 19, 2011, 11:14:20 AM #17
But just like in real life, the shape of your ears might effect her decision!
October 19, 2011, 05:41:20 PM #18
Only in Zalanthas do you interview an assassin, pick-pocket, warrior, and shoe maker, and think the shoe maker is hiding something.

Only in Zalanthas is there a bluebird on your shoulder....all the time...through sandstorms...through combat...during sex.

Only in Zalanthas do people successfully live for decades before forgetting every survival skill they ever learned and dying within a week.

Only in Zalanthas does someone have a choice of looting a body of an embroidered silk cloak, a ruby pendant, an ivory-hilted longsword, a crystalline ball and a mask of old, dirty leather and want the mask most.

Only in Zalanthas does a cooked steak mean a shriveled mass of burned meat.

Only in Zalanthas am I more nervous entering a wealthy, 3-bedroom house with a lockable door than crossing a burning desert crawling with carnivorous animals the size of my Hyundai.

-LoD
October 19, 2011, 05:46:27 PM #19
QuoteOnly in Zalanthas am I more nervous entering a wealthy, 3-bedroom house with a lockable door than crossing a burning desert crawling with carnivorous animals the size of my Hyundai.

That one is priceless.
She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together. --J.D. Salinger
October 19, 2011, 06:08:54 PM #20
Only in Zalanthas does a small bribe from a breed saves him from the Templar, but a large bribe from a human get him killed.

Only in Zalanthas is the arid wastelands and desert safer then the forest.

Only in Zalanthas are tree huggers actually brave.

Only in Zalanthas can a drug dealer, a gun seller, and a fashion mogul walk into a bar and all be around equal standing.
October 19, 2011, 06:46:59 PM #21
Only in Zalanthas do people think it's fashionable to assemble a 35 piece outfit that consists of only one color.
Quote from: Marauder Moe
Oh my god he's still rocking the sandwich.
October 19, 2011, 06:53:42 PM #22
LoD wins the thread.
All the world will be your enemy. When they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you; digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.
October 20, 2011, 11:04:35 AM #23
Only in Zalanthas can you fall from the top of the shield wall, -SURVIVE-, only to be stabbed in the face by a Gith.
October 20, 2011, 02:31:05 PM #24
Only in Zalanthas do you stamp and splash around in shit every time you enter the latrines, regardless of your PCs grace/nimbleness.
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