Funny or Odd Quotes

[Nyard]

Post some funny or odd quotes you've said or heard in Armageddon MUD.

You exclaim, in allundean:
"Fecking Breed!  Gimme 'em pants!"

[sacac]

I don't have it anymore, but a fellow Mudsexxer emoted bursting like a leaking barrel of water..

I'll see if I can dig it up.

Made me laugh even now and that was a few pcs ago.

[WarriorPoet]

This was a super-fun dwarf Byn Sarge from a couple years ago, as we walked into Tuluk.

Tugging at his crotch, the super-fun dwarf Byn Sarge says, in southern-accented sirihish:
          "Let's git some whores. Quick."

That was the climax of my Arm life, up to that point.

Then, I heard this one a few days ago and I laughed my ass off.

"There was some elf fucking around. Sneaking about and farting and shit. Noone knew who was doing it, but they thought it wa an elf"

Muahahhaahahaha! Blame it on the elf.

-WP

[Maybe42or54]

I a remember back when I had a pc in the Byn who knocked the sargeant out the first day in the Byn by way of sparring club and then got knocked out in unarmed sparring and the lieutenant told me something along the lines of, "You knocked the sargeant out yesterday. Stop being a bitch and get your ass away from the ring."

[Cuusardo]

"DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS!  HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR!"

I kid you not.

[Cale_Knight]

This one just happened tonight, and had me giggling. Thanks to whichever imm it was.

Snorting awake, the old NPC exclaims, in sirihish:
"Alright! I did yer wife but I never touched the kank!"

[flurry]

I don't know the exact quote off the top of my head, but it was a mistaken Imm send describing the personality of a PC (who was in the room) in a particularly negative way.

The way that it just happened out of the blue made it really funny to me.

[Xygax]

The best of all are misfired emotes:

The [censored] dwarf leans close over his work, his knife moving slowly over the long-haired, middle-aged bartender.

The [censored] half-giant rubs his bloodied dusty new pair of shell-backed gloves absently on the short figure in a hooded brown sandcloth cloak.

The [censored] man takes out the [censored] half-elven female and lays it across his knees.

The tall figure in a hooded, dun-colored dustcloak reaches up and wipes his sweaty face with the hood of you.

The [censored] man runs a thumb over the athletic, kenku-branded woman, inspecting it for flaws.

The [censored] woman reaches into her green linen sash and, with a huge smile, draws out you then holds it out in front of her between thumb and forefinger.

(oh, and none of these are from scenes intended to have been mudsex.  They just ended up that way thanks to bad keyword management!)

-- X

[Rhyden]

This quote is more on the OOC lines, but its fun anyways. I was communicating with an imm about a month or so back about something. After finishing and continuing with my role-playing, the immortal so generously gave me this exact message:

A staff member sends you the following message:
  "I LOVE TEH MEN!"

I was rather shocked, confused and even a bit fearful for my character's life. Shortly after they appologized. So, sorry to that imm if you wanted to keep your little outburst confidential.  :wink:

[Ktavialt]

Heard this one by a proxy...

Half-elf talks at the bar about how he's looking for a cure.

The [censored-censored], [censored] elf says, in allundean, spitting as
he talks:
    "There's no cure for being a breed."

[Tuannon]

"The (such and such man/woman/elf) brings the (barrel chested man) up to his parched lips, taking a swig."

Was a while ago, but was pretty funny at the time.

[Ghost]

I remember an ooc:

The anonymous patron says out of character:
"Oh my god, imms are twinking!"

And the rest.. check my signature

[Nyard]

Just got this one, pretty sure it was a mis-contact and mis-psi..  

The ____, _____-_______ man sends you a telepathic message:
*a weak thought* Hmm.. This one's naked image is not like the tainted I met. But maybe I can see it myself.

You sense a foreign presence withdraw from your mind.

......W....T.....F...?

[Tamarin]

*In an empty apartment room...*

>plant 5 coins room

Oops!  Someone catches you in the act!

wish all Uh...there's no one in this room...how can someone catch me in the act of planting coins on the floor?

*I leave the room.*

A staff member sends:
"There ARE people in the room!  They're watching you!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

True story.

[Halaster]

Tiernan the Timelord eyes you morbidly.
You eye Tiernan the Timelord morbidly.
Tiernan the Timelord gets ready to rumble.

and..

Tiernan the Timelord flashes you a funky-fresh defliah gang-sign.

[Anonymous]

Mekillot boner.

[ashyom]

I don't remember who said this, but I remember seeing someone think something like, "I'll fuckin' kill him if he tries anything" JUST before s/he got assassinated.  There was maybe 1 or 2 seconds between that think, and the death beep.  The irony at the time was hilarious.

And of course, mis-targets are fun.  Awhile ago, there were two PCs wearing different abas, both had hoods up.  One of them starts emoting poking and feeling around and grabbing in his aba.  After putting up with it for about 5 minutes of emotes, the other guy finally says: OOC Dude...are you doing that on purpose?  The first guy realized that his emotes had been targeting the other person's aba.  

I remember this one time (long before I got on staff), some pcs and I were on a hunting trip with this newbie who hadn't discovered the joys of using ~ in emotes.  The newb kept emoting about lovingly stroking his hilt, and talking to it, etc and the tone/contents of that had us all thinking it was in reference to his nether regions.  After a few minutes we finally realized he was actually talking about his weapon after all.

There are tons more, but I haven't been keeping a list.  I know some of the staff do keep a list though.
-A

[sacac]

A few months ago, I was doing my own thang after talking to an Imm for an hour IG. About thirty minutes later I get an
"A staffmember sends you: I don't think we are evergoing to let this person play because they twink too much."

After about 5 minutes of just feeling bad and idling, because I can't play anything I get an:
"A staffmember sends you: Oops. Please ignore that. Wrong target."

So then I am really depressed since they are talking about me behind there back and then I get an
"A staffmember sends you: We didn't mean you."

Because of this, I had a sudden spike in self-confidence.
Because of that, I was excited and naturally tired.
Because of -that-, I died 15 minutes later.

Editted to add:
They were probably talking about Uberjazz.

[Moofassa]

I once:


A fruity-colored half-giant-elf shits in his chair, looking around with a surprised look on his face.



It was in a room full of people. Amusing typo. Of course identities have been changed.

[Anonymous]

Typos are the best.

Sticking your hand in ~brown is a dangerous emote.

[Nyard]

Pulling you closer to her body, the blank, blank-blanked girl turns back to the northern entrance.

......  I was wearing a hooded cloak.

[Cenghiz]

A reenegade mage of mine look from his safe hideout, seeing two gith immobilized, another one waiting mindlessly.

>think Those fools are still waiting to die? (Or something like that..)

Then... I was about to die that day.. A few times. Because my magicker turned to some kind of druid those days, he was also meaning to save another PC. Imms played out that scene, really really well.. I could do things I wouldn't be able to codewise -gith sending volleys of spears into the place where they couldn't see me but they knew I'm in, my being able to sneak away in darkness, normally which would not be possible with instaattacks, a gith's tracking the other victim slowly, slow enough so I could get there in time to survive him.. I was in a friend's house, trying to type as fast as I could in my notebook's keyboard, my hands were trembling, I was soaked in sweat.

After that day, my character called everything to gith, but not 'fools' ever!

[FiveDisgruntledMonkeysWit]

(A female military officer speaking to her troops)
You hear a woman's voice shout from the north in something-accented sirihish:
    "Quit arguing or I'll make you stand in a corner with no supper!"

[Delirium]

The <blankityblank> man lovingly sands down his shaft.

(It was somebody trying to make an arrowshaft.)

[Eniriah]

Some of mine:

1. Making PCs do things, thinking they are NPCs

2. Logging into Arm and checking up on my clan mates while visible, running circles around them to check something out thinking they can't see me.

3. As a PC - one day (in RL) I hadn't eaten anything really 'solid' in about a week. I was roleplaying and food was on my mind. My PC was telling another PC what they wanted to eat - and I said "I'd like some chicken, please.'