Character Descriptions: What Makes a Good One, Good?

[FantasyWriter]

1. Sdesc and mdesc match and compliment each other. Everything in your sdesc should be in your mdesc.
2. Sdesc contains the most "obvious"/"strange"/"unique" thing from your mdesc. (if you spend three lines describing your eyes, face-tatt, etc, include it)

3. Don't make people with good high school level vocabularies have to look up more than one word, two max. Go easy on Zalanthan words
4. Go easy on the abstract. I ran into one PC since I came back  that if I only had their mdesc, I wouldn't be able to tell what race they were and I had no idea what they looked like. I like pretty language. Just... be gentle.
5. Min Length: I have read good 4-5 line descriptions. As long as someone is not being intentionally vague to make what is essentially Amos, the tall muscular man to avoid identification, I have zero problems with a short mdesc. I just need enough to form a picture in my mind that looks roughly like what others might see from reading the same mdesc.
6.Max length: Nah, we don't need one. If you have a wall of text, i am probably going to skim it the first time of five that we meet, before I actually give it a good read though, especially if we are meeting in dangerous areas.
7. Going off #5. Have at least one thing that stands out a little to help me remember you, especially if you are in a locale where cloaking yourself is the norm.

8. Style-rules (OP's specific concern): I LOVE that we don't have strict style rules, and that we have everything from a simple to verbose.

9. A neat thing I notice a lot of people doing and usually do myself is have your mdecs reflect what part of the Known you are from based on key-words. I am not going to write a Stormer who uses agafari or grasslands-green in my mdesc or a Tuluki that uses silt or desert-hued. I see this a lot and LOVE it, especially since there are no hard rules on what commoners look like in the various areas for the most part.

[Riev]

A good character description gives you enough to describe a character. A bad one does not describe the physical attributes of the character.
You can do this in 4 lines.

Not in a way that is interesting, no, it's like the difference between a stick figure or a picture.

just bad faith

Using "bad faith" is "bad faith" itself, it's always used as a term to bludgeon people who call attention to bad behavior. Sometimes by the actual people engaging in it, as a way of trying to make it more dangerous for people to call stuff out. And also cruel to suggest to people that trusting blindly in people who would take advantage of them is somehow a noble thing. Sure, it's not always the reason, but some people do bad things, looking the other way and saying that people are bad to mention it hurts everyone.

Please argue on topic.
Your opinion on "what is interesting" not withstanding, you are saying a "bad" description is one that falls within the rules of the game and that are approved by the staff of the game.

I would go with a lot of what FW posted. +1 to that nerd.

[Vwest]

What did this discussion turn into? Night Queen argues against the world?

Snobs gonna snob, especially on the GDB.

I've done both incredibly elaborate and bare bones descriptions, with the latter being my preference in most characters. I tend towards zoning out when faced with an excess of self-indulgent purple prose and based on the thread responses, I'm not the only one. The game is usually fast paced enough that the essentials are all I need to pick up and go with just about any character I happen to run into, especially when I end up having my own mental image of what the character looks like based off of interactions with them after a while.

The description is basically there to give me some core information for my imagination to work with, so describing the tiny flecks of rainbow snowflakes dancing in eyes is... kind of wasted on me, really.

With how quickly AI is learning to write, we're all going to be second rate irrelevant soon enough.

[Aromit]

Please adhere to the rules of the gdb as found here.

https://gdb.armageddon.org/index.php/topic,51856.0.html

[whengravityfails]

Number of lines or word count is, frankly, rather arbitrary. Some characters require more detail than others, and in some cases the basics will do just fine. If there's an eye color, skin color, hair color and style, facial shape and at least vague nod to body shape/size and race I'm fine with it (or at least a majority of these elements). If people want to go into detail, I'm all for it. I love detail. Please do. I'll read every mdesc I encounter in its entirety at least once (although I admit I will likely forget parts of it) and if it is artfully written, I will enjoy it.

But if it's clear and concise? I'll still appreciate that, too. Just avoid misspellings and heinous grammatical errors and we're good.

[Night Queen]

You can't write a good description in four lines, it's a stick figure.

So the issue is that the minimum length that was meant to be something to be accommodating to new players is used by more experienced players as the normal. And that is one of those Armageddon things that encourages the ones that have left to not come back when outside Armageddon it's more normal for people to put more effort in, it's a hard sell: "Come play with the people that have been playing ten or more years, but have character descriptions that are four lines long."

And the other issue is that as people have joked about before, some people deliberately do this as the meta to try avoid their characters -being identified, when their role already has many social or coded advantages over newer players, which is just terrible. When there's no rule, there's no rule, you have to have something to make it fair for everyone. Why should it be ok for basic details to be missing?

I don't think anyone minds genuine newbies that are just starting out, but the minimum for newbies turned into the minimum for everyone, because there's no rule or guideline even encouraging people to try a bit harder with special characters and roles - There should be a at least 7 line minimum once not a newbie anymore. It's not about judging people, it's about making a better experience for everyone, and everyone is capable of at least trying.

[Hestia]

You can't write a good description in four lines, it's a stick figure.

Some people can write excellent 4-line descriptions. And some people can write lousy 12-line descriptions.

The topic here is what makes a good description - good. Not who is good at writing and who isn't.

A good description in the context of ArmageddonMUD will give enough information to provide a reader with a reasonable idea of the person's physical appearance.

Flowery text and 12-line descriptions can be flowery and long and not even mention whether the person has eyes, let alone what color or shape they are.  That would make that flowery 12-line description lacking.  Similarly, a 4-line description dedicated to the exact color of a person's skin, without mentioning anything else, is also lacking.

Conversely, a 15-line description so prosaic that most people don't even read past the first two lines - is equally lacking.

A "good" description will get a reader's attention. A "good" description will hold the reader's attention. A "good" description - in the context of this game - will include general build, skin color, facial features, hair (or lack thereof) and any significant marks/deformities that would be obvious at first glance.

You can do all of that in 4 lines. You can also do that in 12 lines.

[Night Queen]

A four line description can't be excellent, there just isn't the room for detail unless the character is totally one-note, but in that case they should be an non-player character instead of a player character - That you can seriously call 4 lines excellent, I think this is seriously part of the problem with Armageddon that staff shouldn't be encouraging stuff like this, with Armageddon struggling to retain roleplayers as people mentioned on other threads recently that it seems that there's more of the code-focus amongst people that have remained - Stuff like this doesn't help, and things like this should be worked on as much as the code to improve and revitalise RP instead of just accepting it and continuing to let things die down! There's been a few other points on this thread too where people have said the gaps in the rules on other issues like cloaks have issues as well - it could be improved, it's not saying things have to be bad.

A "good" description - in the context of this game - will include general build, skin color, facial features, hair (or lack thereof) and any significant marks/deformities that would be obvious at first glance.

But people don't always include those things no matter how many lines, and because there's no clear rule, why would the code-focused people, who want their magicker to not be noticed?

[mansa]

When I teach new players how to write a character's main description, I point them to this thread:
https://gdb.armageddon.org/index.php/topic,57907.0.html

When thinking of what your character looks like, I do it this way. I fill out these points, and then build up from there:

• What does their Face look like.
• Their Hairstyle...
• Their Eyes...
• Their Nose...
• Their Mouth...
• Their Body Shape...
• Their Height...
• Their Weight...
• Their Hands...
• Their Race...
• Their Sex...

...And then I add any other feature I want to display.  Are they disfigured?  Do they have prominent tattoos or major scars that will never be covered up?

Here's an example:

Face	Narrow and Long
Hair	Shaved
Eyes	Blue
Nose	Flat and crooked
Mouth	full, luscious lips with perfect teeth.
Body Shape	Tall and Skinny
Height	Tall
Weight	Skinny
Hands	Narrow fingers, dirty fingernails
Race	Human
Sex	Male
Other	Has a peg leg

From there, I put the words together into sentences.

This human male is tall and skinny.  His hands have narrow fingers, with dirty
fingernails.  He has a peg leg attached to the stump of his left leg.  His
face is narrow and long.  His hair is shaved, his eyes are blue.  His nose is
flat and crooked, and he has full, luscious lips with perfect teeth.

New players usually are unsure of how to do it, and are overwhelmed at being told to be creative.  My example basically has a template that you can follow, and it will produce a simple description that will allow the character application to be approved, so they can enter the game.  This is one of the biggest roadblocks for new players - creating a character and applying for it in game.

The question of, "What makes it Good?" or "Better than Others" is usually one of poetry, uniqueness, and taste.   What makes one "Bad" is an easier question to answer, because a lot of examples of "Good" descriptions are "Does not do BAD THING".

[FantasyWriter]

A four line description can't be excellent, there just isn't the room for detail unless the character is totally one-note, but in that case they should be an non-player character instead of a player character - That you can seriously call 4 lines excellent, I think this is seriously part of the problem with Armageddon that staff shouldn't be encouraging stuff like this, with Armageddon struggling to retain roleplayers as people mentioned on other threads recently that it seems that there's more of the code-focus amongst people that have remained - Stuff like this doesn't help, and things like this should be worked on as much as the code to improve and revitalise RP instead of just accepting it and continuing to let things die down! There's been a few other points on this thread too where people have said the gaps in the rules on other issues like cloaks have issues as well - it could be improved, it's not saying things have to be bad.

1. Staff does not "encourage" four line descriptions. That is the bare minimum.

2. Please tell me what is "wrong" with or missing from the following 4-line description:

Code Select Expand

This half-elven male stands a little taller than the average human with bronze-
tanned skin covered in a variety of tangled scars. Blue eyes stare out from his
narrow-featured face--a thin nose and sharply-pointed ears contrasting his bulky
frame. Long, sandy brown hair hands down to his shoulders in a tangled mess.

[Night Queen]

A member of staff just said four line descriptions can be excellent. I don't agree. That's allowed. What should not be allowed is four line descriptions, for people who are not newbies!

2. That's a description suitable a NPC, not a player character - it is lacking all but the most basic details. They have eyes and a nose. Great. Fantastic. Just like everyone else. What does their face actually look like? Where are these vague "scars"? What are the shape of the scars, to even have an idea what caused them? Not caring, or deliberate omission to make it hard to describe what kind of scars they have to a Templar? If it's a more experienced player, I'd hope they'd at least care about that kind of background stuff.

[Patuk]

I'm tempted to make my next mdesc four lines just to spite you now.

[FantasyWriter]

What should not be allowed is four line descriptions, for people who are not newbies!

Why do you think you should get to dictate other people's creativity? There are a lot of great RPers here who aren't excellent description writers but can tear it up when it comes to expressing themselves in game.
Can you imagine how someone might feel reading your post and only have a 4-5 line description that they worked really hard on?


As an aside:
There is also something to be said that some people put WAY too much in their descriptions including things you wouldn't be able to see unless they are buck naked.

I dislike this personally, but I would never go so far as to say you are not a good description writer if you include/omit thing that I dislike.

[Night Queen]

Can you imagine how someone might feel reading your post and only have a 4-5 line description that they worked really hard on?

Mansa's post was a good example of how anyone can follow the basics to fill things out, even if it's not particularly poetic, there's no need to literally just not bother to add details - if people aren't very good at writing, why are they playing [insert incredibly powerful character here]? I'm not saying be mean to newbies. People definitely choose to leave out detail sometimes, and it's a problem that affects the more RP-focused people less than the code-focused people, because the latter don't get any penalty for having a faceless description that can't be identified verbally other than metagaming with Sdesc keywords. That's not fair on the people playing nice, and you can't have fairness without stopping the people who don't act fair.

I'm tempted to make my next mdesc four lines just to spite you now.

Maybe this is just a cunning plot to incite some peoples' group tendencies to witch-hunt and band to try bully anyone who speaks out, to make the playerbase look bad when this thread is linked to other people - and encourage players to do just what you said and not bother putting effort into RP, to speed up the haemorrhaging of RP-focused people to non-MUDs, that has been talked about on the other threads. Maybe I'm from the competition. Maybe not? :p

[DesertT]

I'm tempted to make my next mdesc four lines just to spite you now.

Four lines, but it's a poem!

[Night Queen]

No, better, just three words on each of four lines. Show those mean RPers how much you care!

[FantasyWriter]

I'm tempted to make my next mdesc four lines just to spite you now.

Four lines, but it's a poem!

With bulging muscles and eyes of blue, surrounded by rings--white as escru.
Raven hair, skin of brown, and on it, not a scar to be found.
With parting red lips and teeth so straight, a shit-eating grin, never to abate.
Never does he dress or act a slob, for a ring of silver adorns his great knob.

[Night Queen]

Way too many words to be "excellent".

[zealus]

Just because a description is long, doesn't make it a well-written one. It is a style choice. Please do not imply that people who choose a different style are poor roleplayers.

I personally sometimes go all out, sometimes not. Depends on how inspired I am. Sometimes I just want a simple description, sometimes I want a longer one.

[Hestia]

So this turned into a snipe-fest rather quickly.

Four lines is the minimum number of lines we ask for.

More does not necessarily mean better, and the minimum does not necessarily mean worse. Stop criticizing each other on this forum. You don't have to like the way someone writes their description but if it satisfies the minimum requirements, then it is NOT bad, and no one should be criticized for choosing to satisfy the minimum requirements or for adding some prose to their description and making it longer.

This is the actual documentation regarding a character description in this game:

Now you will be asked to write a few sentences describing your character's physical appearance. Your character's description is one of the most important parts of character creation. A good description gives other players a clear mental picture of the character, enhancing the roleplay for both you and them.

Descriptions are a minimum of four lines; around 7-10 is good. You should only describe your character's physical features. You can include their gender and race in your description. You can include their body type - are they tall or short, thin or fat, muscular or flabby? You can include their facial features - their eye color and shape, the shape of their nose, jawline, or cheekbones, the color of their lips or eyebrows, etc. You can also decide your character's hair color, length, and texture, but do not indicate the hairstyle unless that is how you always want your character's hair to look. Clothing and equipment should never be mentioned in the description of your character. Items are available in the game, and since they can change over the course of play, they should not be part of the description.

Follow basic rules of spelling and grammar, and write the description in complete sentences, in the form of a paragraph. Write the description in 3rd person; i.e. 'This is a tall and sinewy elf' rather than 'I am a tall, sinewy elf'. Don't put your character's name in the description -- it's not something a person would know just from looking at them. Do not describe how your character moves or speaks, since the viewer may be looking at them while they are asleep or knocked out, and wouldn't know how they customarily move or speak. Similarly, don't have your character performing actions in the description, such as nodding or whistling.

Keep your lines 80 characters long or less, (more than 80 can cause scrolling problems on some people's terminals), use a spelling checker, and proofread your text. Terminate your description with a ~ on a line by itself.

There's no need to feel intimidated by this process, or feel the need to write the greatest description ever. A few lines in plain English should be fine.

If you need some help, we have provided some sample descriptions.

Bolded for emphasis.