Goodbye Again Armageddon

[Bebop]

I started playing Armageddon after a 5 year hiatus on the heels of my dad's death.  At the time, escaping to a familiar place and putting my energy and attention into the active play and thoughts of a character provided an almost immediate relief to an uncomfortable level of thoughts, anxiety and a harsh reality taking place at that time.

In the two years since, in my real life, I have done a lot of adventuring, transitioning, career changing and so on.  Playing Armageddon no longer provides the catharsis it once did, and escape is no longer necessary.  I find that Armageddon also consumes a lot of mental resources and creative energy that I need to refocus back into the creative pursuits I was invested in before my life took a turn that led me back here.  I find myself uncomfortable with the feeling that I need to log on or that a character's success is weighed not in just real life hours but in real life years it can consume.

Armageddon is different from other games, it is not as passive as say Animal Crossing where you're subconscious mind can easily process while you relax.  Armageddon is often equal parts frustration and pleasure in my experience.  When you are not playing you are often considering your next moves.  It's hard for me to stave off the idea that the hours upon hours I invest on a character's endeavors could be invested in my real life endeavors.

I'll always be grateful that Armageddon and parts of its community were there as a fun escape when I needed it.  But it's a fine line.  I've been careful to not log in generally before 9 pm server and moderate but the game inevitably seems to always end up consuming 4 - 6 hrs a night anyway especially when you play a leadership role which I've been lucky enough to do since my return.

I think I would have come to this conclusion even if my IC and OOC experience upon return had been stellar, but it wasn't always.  After considering it for more than awhile, I've come to the decision that even if I have the urge to play what's best is to not play.  Habits take 30 days to develop, I went 5 yrs without the game and when I reflect on it I was much more productive those 5 yrs than I have been these 2 yrs or when I'm playing Arm in general.  I am a strong advocate of putting in work to be a real badass instead of just RPing one and would encourage everyone to take hearty breaks.

I'm also strongly considering removing my online presence.  If you'd like to stay in touch feel free to PM about Facebook, Instagram or other social media connections.  A big thank you to the players and staff who made my return a good experience, made me feel welcome and encouraged my play.  It was appreciated!  I did have many good moments, and it wouldn't have been possible without you.

[deskoft]

Have fun and good luck!

Go and murder, corrupt and betray in real life! ...Oh, wait. Nevermind! XD

But in all seriousness it sounds like the right decision based on what you've written in this post, so good luck!

[Decameron]

Good luck with your break and hope all goes well! Hope to see you around, after!

[triste]

It was an honor to be able to play with great players like you again! Rock on with all you're up to!

[number13]

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

You're an awesome player, and an even awesome-er human being. Have fun being you.

[Aruven]

Habits take 30 days to develop, I went 5 yrs without the game and when I reflect on it I was much more productive those 5 yrs than I have been these 2 yrs or when I'm playing Arm in general.  I am a strong advocate of putting in work to be a real badass instead of just RPing one and would encourage everyone to take hearty breaks.

I'm also strongly considering removing my Discord presence.

I've found this to be true. I told someone else in this community that storing one of my last roles and leaving the game for awhile was the best things that ever happened to me. (And then Coronavirus happened some months later so, whelp!)

I left the discord well before I left the game again.

You've been here longer than I have, i'm pretty sure. Maybe there is a terminus (that isn't death) with each of us and the game. Maybe we'll see you again. Not like you aren't serious, but you know, things like Coronavirus happen and force you into isolation for months at a time. That's what happened to me! I got so fucking bored I started logging in.

Thank you for the stories and time you've contributed to the game. It's always a little melancholy to see people go. if nobody else did (And I am sure there are many others)  I enjoyed our interactions when I wasn't trying to kill you.

Best of luck out there--

[John]

I've taken my fair share of breaks. I also make sure that when I return it is when I am in a good spot in real life, rather then a bad spot. I find this helps keeps things in perspective for me and makes sure I have a healthy relationship with the game rather than an unhealthy one.

I am glad to hear you are doing well in RL and I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

[Harmless]

I had a lot of fun and inspiration from you. I am glad you are able to leave. I have had good times when I took breaks too and honestly I wish I could take a break but I can't. I have way too many idle and lonely and boring hours and the social interaction of RP is what I use to ease that. If your RL is cool enough that it occupies the time you used to waste here then I am happy for you because you are lucky. Be well, as playing this game is certainly not always a healthy pastime.

[Dar]

I know how you feel completely. Personally, I've long since made a decision to myself that if IRL reaches a certain threshold, I am ceasing Arm cold turkey until things calm down again.   Some years ago, I've tried to do both and after 2 weeks on 3 hrs of sleep, things just were not pretty. So now I'm absolutely a 'casual' player and I've made my peace with it.


I hope your RL proves fruitful and enjoyable, Bebop. Best of luck!

[perfecto]

It has been an absolute pleasure Bebop

The efforts you've put into your characters over the years and the livelihood of the game have been tremendous!  If you use only half as much effort in real life I'm pretty sure you'll still be running your own company in a few weeks.   

Whatever your reasons may be, know that you leave us with full hearts and we (or at least me) wish you happiness no matter where life takes you next.

Don't forget us ok?  One might say it was all made up, but --WE-- made it all up!  We had some kickass times and I'll remember them always.  I hope you do too

[Pale Horse]

Best wishes and luck in your endeavors in real life, Bebop.

Armageddon is very much a labor of love by all involved, but I feel that the keyword in there is "labor."  It's work, factually and creatively, and takes time and energy which could be spent on other things.  Things that pay the bills, for example.

I personally have not really found much satisfaction in casual Armageddon-play and the dedication I feel is needed to get satisfaction is something that I am hesitant to offer up, even while I am considering getting back into a character.  Guess I'm facing the choice which seems to affect all veteran and long-time players: Which is more important to me?  Real-life and its demands/rewards or the endearing hobby I've had for ages, and does this hobby fit with the lifestyle I now have?  That's a choice that I've seen either leads to long-time and awesome players or their quiet withdrawal.

I do not know if you and I have ever interacted IG but again my best wishes to you in whatever you choose to do.

[Bebop]

Thank you all for the very kind posts here.  Just a note I am no longer on Discord.  If you have messaged me there I am not ignoring you I simply have not and will not see it as I only made that account for Arm communication.  Thanks and wishing ya'll well.

[th3kaiser]

Good luck with everything! Shame about the discord, it's a great place just to chat with folks.