The Coming Northie Conspiracy!

[Suspiciously Burned Hands]

There's a conspiracy that's going to start soon, you mark my word. Those heathen northies are plottin' up somethin' real good. It won't be pretty. Proper southies are goin' to find it hard to get a decent place to get away from it all.

Star-handed scum are goin' to spout their filth all over the GDB this month. It's a plot by their false-templar witches, tryin' to get you to think like a northie, to pity a northie. Maybe even to play a northie.

But we're better for that. We know there's only one good northie.

No, it ain't a dead northie!

It's a northie we can toss kickin' and screamin' into the bug pits. They may hug trees, but we're all for Cuddlin'.

So this next month is gonna be a doozy, have them heathens poppin' out of the woodwork like maggots poppin' out of a corpse on Meleth's. But we'll survive this plague of barbaric-inked scum, you and me.

Just keep sharp, 'cause they're a-comin'.

[Suspiciously Burned Hands]

Y'all thought people were getting out of Tuluk like this...




Before the gates were closed like this:




And everybody who liked Tuluk was dead like this:




But this month it's gonna be more like this:




Sharpen your obsidian swords n' daggers, 'cause all I can ask is this:

[Jihelu]

I'm ready.

[Suspiciously Burned Hands]

I'm ready.

I pray that you're ready 'cause it ain't gonna be no picnic.

Only He can save you. He whose Shadow envelops us all, like the relief o' an oasis from the sorching death of the desert. It is His blessed symbol o' the Cross that's gonna repel all evil. Ain' no northie scum what can stand before the cross of the one true Godking!

Pray to him now. Pray to the might o' your Highlord, that he comes forth from above to smite the unbelievers! Brandish his symbol, let it cast shadows before you!

Only His power can repel the barbaric heathens and their foul mind witches. You must accept Him into your heart.

He loves you like this:




The proof is 'cause we got this:




And northie scum are gonna get this:

[Iiyola]

Praise the Highlord.

[Jihelu]

You have been visited by the evil northerner of bad tithings.
Bad times will come to you unless you say "Save me highlord" in the chat!

[Suspiciously Burned Hands]

You have been visited by the evil northerner of bad tithings.
Bad times will come to you unless you say "Save me highlord" in the chat!

The northies are a comin' this month. The Highlord will save you! The Highlord saves you by your belief, by your patriotism as a 'Nakki! Hold firm and true and we can withstand the onslaught.

Don't be blinded by the Light. It only burns, ain't never soothed no one. Flash n' dazzle will only hide the truth so long.

Welcome the Shadow's embrace. Welcome the darkness.

[BadSkeelz]

You'll all be dead in a month.

[Brytta Léofa]

At your desert-camouflaged carru blind, the gaunt, grungy-bearded man says, in sirihish,
   "Maybe we'll get on one of them stage shows, you know like, 'World's Craziest Militia Shows.' What do you think?"
At your desert-camouflaged carru blind, the vibrant, jade-adorned brunette says, in sirihish,
   "What I think, Cactus, is you need to stay focused. Make sure you got a bolt in your crossbow and the lever limber."
At your desert-camouflaged carru blind, the willowy, grey-streaked man says, in sirihish,
   "Would be kinda cool gettin' on one of them shows."

[IAmJacksOpinion]

You'll all be dead in a month.

Longevity is overrated anyways.

[valeria]

You'll all be dead in a month.

Longevity is overrated anyways.

After a few months I'm usually longing for a good death anyway.