What does Tektolnes do all day?

Started by IAmJacksOpinion, February 18, 2014, 01:43:06 AM

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February 18, 2014, 01:43:06 AM
He's 1342 years old (that's 58,125 days played).
He has 7 karma (he still hasn't worked off that bad account note he earned when he buried Luir under 99 feet of stone without emoting.)
He has master polearm, and high journeyman watch (he wishes he would've twinked it more before he became too frightening for pickpockets to mess with.)
He's got the sweetest apartment in Allanak, and all the status-RPers are pretty jelly of it.
His request was approved to change his mdesc to a description of Draco he found in the novel adaptation of the 1996 movie Dragonheart. (Imms missed the reference)

So, what does he DO all day?

His preferred method of travel seems to be dragon form, so it stands to reason that if he ever went out and about to do things, his comings and goings would have been noticed. Unlike Muk Utep who at least puts in an appearance with his citizens every dozen years or so, Tek hasn't been seen by any PC I've ever heard of. In fact the only time he ever comes out of his tower is when he feels like pissing in Utep's cherios.  His empire is managed by his Templars and Lords, so it's doubtful he has to put in more work there than to listen to the occasional report.

So what does this leave? What is a day in the life of Tektolnes?

(In case you couldn't tell, this is more of a musing than a serious question...)
Quote from: musashiengaging in autoerotic asphyxiation is no excuse for sloppy grammer!!!

Armageddon.org
February 18, 2014, 01:49:02 AM #1
Mudsex.
February 18, 2014, 01:55:58 AM #2
He does have a bastard child.
February 18, 2014, 01:57:49 AM #3 Last Edit: February 18, 2014, 02:07:30 AM by QuillDipper
Waysex with Utep.

And sweeping.

Edit: I bet he also has a sparring dummy and is still trying to get his slashing weapons to master. One more fail...
Part-Time Internets Lady
February 18, 2014, 01:59:03 AM #4
Brooding on his daddy issues.

Reducing black robes who complain about l33tspeak in emotes to dust.

Eating with metal cutlery.

Earning phat loot from all the dungeons he raids.

Laughing at people who pray to him.

Also, occasionally burning dwarf armies or playing Hot Potato with a volcano as the ball.
Quote from: Wug on August 28, 2013, 05:59:06 AM
Vennant doesn't appear to age because he serves drinks at the speed of light. Now you know why there's no delay on the buy code in the Gaj.
February 18, 2014, 02:08:40 AM #5
Collecting the testicles of Black Robed Templars in necklace form.
Quote from: Gimfalisette
The rest of you, if you see a blingy, buff brunette-blonde pair hanging out together pretty soon at your local bar, just...it's nothing. Move along. (Do not hit on them.)
February 18, 2014, 02:24:50 AM #6




p.s. Putin IS Tektolnes!

Quote from: MorgenesYa..what Bushranger said...that's the ticket.
February 18, 2014, 03:51:12 AM #7
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME
I SPIT HOT BORSCH WHILE I'M CRUSHING THESE BEATS
Quote from: Agameth
Goat porn is not prohibited in the Highlord's city.
February 18, 2014, 05:35:09 AM #8
I imagine he spends most of his days going:

Code Select
>help here
There is no helpfile for the topic "here".

>talk npc
You are not sitting at a table.

>say topics
You say, in badass-accented sirihish:
"topics"

>tell npc topics bitch
You say, to the black-robed templar NPC, in badass-accented sirihish:
"topics bitch"

>frown
Please use the emote code for social emotes.

>shout SON OF A BITCH!  I ONLY USE THE ACTUAL CODE ONCE A HUNDRED YEARS!!!!111!!!  Somebody get Morgenes up here.  I'm going to talk to him about "code changes".  FUS RO DAH!
Wind whips up near the immense dragon as he begins an incantation.
Quote from: Lizzie on February 10, 2016, 09:37:57 PM
You know I think if James simply retitled his thread "Cheese" and apologized for his first post being off-topic, all problems would be solved.
February 18, 2014, 09:07:24 AM #9
Quote from: MeTekillot on February 18, 2014, 01:55:58 AM
He does have a bastard child.
Oh??

@Bushranger - Niiiice choice of person to represent Tek. Haha. That made me laugh.
Quote from: musashiengaging in autoerotic asphyxiation is no excuse for sloppy grammer!!!

Armageddon.org
February 18, 2014, 07:45:05 PM #10
Senior Templar Cohran.

So the obvious answer to the question is:  Cohran's mom.
Evolution ends when stupidity is no longer fatal."
February 18, 2014, 07:52:59 PM #11
He periodically types in "Skills," even though he's been sitting on the same throne for the last three hours and done no activity that could lead to a skill-up.
February 18, 2014, 08:28:54 PM #12
Oh, and another answer:

Whatever he wants.
Quote from: Wug on August 28, 2013, 05:59:06 AM
Vennant doesn't appear to age because he serves drinks at the speed of light. Now you know why there's no delay on the buy code in the Gaj.
February 18, 2014, 11:26:22 PM #13
Tweezes his nose hairs while listening to Mozart on his retro 70's record player, while the guards outside deliberate over what sorcery is going on inside.
February 19, 2014, 06:17:42 AM #14
Quote from: Twilight on January 22, 2013, 08:17:47 PMGreb - To scavenge, forage, and if Whira is with you, loot the dead.
Grebber - One who grebs.
February 19, 2014, 07:55:53 AM #15
Quote from: FantasyWriter on February 19, 2014, 06:17:42 AM
Or more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NrqftLip64

Really? I always thought Captain Shakespear was a lot more like a Lord Fale.
Quote from: MorgenesYa..what Bushranger said...that's the ticket.
February 19, 2014, 09:28:17 AM #16
contact tek
psi waaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuuuup?!
Modern concepts of fair trials and justice are simply nonexistent in Zalanthas. If you are accused, you are guilty until someone important decides you might be useful. It doesn't really matter if you did it or not.
February 19, 2014, 03:01:51 PM #17
Muk invading his thoughts one day:

"...Oh man this feels so good. When I get home, I'm going to strip down in front of a full-length mirror, turn Super Saiyan, and..."

At that point Muk abandoned ship.
Quote from: Agameth
Goat porn is not prohibited in the Highlord's city.
February 19, 2014, 07:03:09 PM #18
Quote from: Bushranger on February 19, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
Quote from: FantasyWriter on February 19, 2014, 06:17:42 AM
Or more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NrqftLip64

Really? I always thought Captain Shakespear was a lot more like a Lord Fale.

A Fale wouldn't bother doing it behind closed doors. ;)
Quote from: Twilight on January 22, 2013, 08:17:47 PMGreb - To scavenge, forage, and if Whira is with you, loot the dead.
Grebber - One who grebs.
February 22, 2014, 12:44:49 PM #19
Plays with his golden tower.
The figure in a dark hooded cloak says in rinthi-accented Sirihish, 'Winrothol Tor Fale?'
February 22, 2014, 01:19:06 PM #20
I once heard a rumor that he sits in his tower, watching re-runs of Magnum P.I. and Miami Vice.
February 22, 2014, 06:29:44 PM #21
Nobody got my DBZA reference. :(
Quote from: Agameth
Goat porn is not prohibited in the Highlord's city.
February 22, 2014, 07:42:05 PM #22
Grunts and squints.
Quote from: Nyr
Dead elves can ride wheeled ladders just fine.
Quote from: bcw81
"You can never have your mountainhome because you can't grow a beard."
~Tektolnes to Thrain Ironsword
February 22, 2014, 07:53:59 PM #23
Quote from: Zoan on February 22, 2014, 06:29:44 PM
Nobody got my DBZA reference. :(

Well, no one responded to it...
Quote from: musashiengaging in autoerotic asphyxiation is no excuse for sloppy grammer!!!

Armageddon.org
November 20, 2014, 11:28:24 PM #24 Last Edit: November 21, 2014, 01:24:41 PM by bcw81
NSFW - Image

Edited by BCW81: Please don't directly show images of a NSFW variety, thanks!
Quote from: MorgenesYa..what Bushranger said...that's the ticket.
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