Depressing Death?

[FantasyWriter]

My most depressing death was lying there perained and slowly (like 10+ RL minutes slowly)  bashed to death by a single kryl after fighting off a dozen or more.  All while something much bigger and badassier than a kryl (who should have been helping me out) sat there and "stared down, his alien features indifferent."

It was quite a fun ride up until that point though. And hearing, later on, about what happened next made it more than worth while. But it still sucked at the moment.

[brytta.leofa]

I once lost an almost fully-branched Rukkian to a perfect storm of southern wildlife (beetle + tarantula + silt flier) while unbuffed.  Losing the character wasn't such a big deal; it was losing her relationships that I regretted.

Out in the Boonies [NSE]
  The shattered ruins of things buitl by people much scarier than you loom here, loomfully.  Something indescribable prevented from going downstairs.  Aside from hostile humanoids and hostile wildlife, no other living soul seems to be here and you're pretty sure you should go home.

The figure in a dusty, sand-brown greatcloak looks at you.
You whirl around, shrieking.
The figure in a dusty, sand-brown greatcloak says, cheerfully, in sirihish,
  "Oh! Aren't you <censored>'s sister?"

[jriley]

My most depressing death happened about eight years ago, back when the staff were a lot less stringent about promoting players/characters to positions of game authority that would make the game more scary and fun, and instead used a different criterion, heh.

So back then I had my first-ever desert elf.  I certainly don't want to spoil the fun for newer players who have not yet experienced a desert elf, but suffice it to say that my character was pretty seriously jacked.  By the time that I'd logged a couple of days of play time this character was already dominating the wastelands.  Growing a little bored of this, I started spending a bit of time in the civilized areas as a change of pace. 

At some point my character was approached by The Babe.  The Babe was this foxy half-elven chick who lived in Luir's Outpost.  Very pragmatic and businesslike, she was lusted after by many a warrior but never had more than a dozen words to spare for passing travelers or rolling stones.  So you can understand how this made me feel. 

We were chatting one day and things got to the point where I was seriously considering MUDsexing her.  I don't MUDsex at all these days, and didn't much back then.  I've always had a thing about getting women to open up to me (emotionally) who are tough nuts to crack.  This is sort of my thing.

Right about the time that I was getting ready to make my move, up comes That Guy pacing behind me, and points a weapon in my back.  He was some jerk that was an officer in the Kurac Fist, which as you know more or less makes him a god inside of Luir's Outpost.  Please take note that a couple of other posts in this thread have mentioned this type of character before. 

Ignoring him didn't make That Guy go away, so I had to apologize to The Babe and turn to address That Guy.  He basically told me that he wanted to run me through if I didn't go to a holding cell somewhere where he could interrogate me.  Understanding that the guy probably was a staff avatar and also was probably only interested in me based upon metagamming, I wasn't thrilled with doing what he said but obviously didn't want to die.  I moved slowly to comply with his instructions...

...apparently not fast enough for him, because he attacked me anyway.  And so a half-giant, a Kuraci with a broadsword and a guard all (NPC) insta-rush me as well. 

So there I am, hodling off the four of them with my knife for three or four combat rounds, trying to negotiate a surrender with That Guy while The Babe looks on in horror.  That Guy was far more interested in killing/looting me.  My hit points drop below about 40% and so I decided to make a run for it.  I made it half way through Luir's to the gates when...wouldn't you know it, the nutcase NPC with the broadsword caught up with me and mowed me down. 

I was killed by a noncombatant.  I'd seen That Guy give similar treatment to a couple of other (mostly harmless) travelers. 

Fortunately, the staff do a lot better job than they used to in weeding people out who are going to behave like that.  Luir's used to be really funny, though.  A Kurac sergeant would have about 90% of the power of a Templar but only go through about 30% of the screening.  Which brings me to the only other in game death that I resent.

[Nyr]

My sympathies for your situation depend on what kind of desert elf you were playing at the time...

[Delirium]

I'm mostly confused as to why a half-elf was considered a trophy seduction...

[Malifaxis]

My most depressing death came following the words "Of course you'll see me again."

[jriley]

Part II

Okay, so about a decade of playing and I don't really resent but two of my deaths.

This was about a year after the previous one.  I was playing an elven gangster from the North Quarter of Allanak.  My character was pretty low-key but a reasonably competent business man.  I'd made it past the month mark so other players were starting to recognize and welcome my influence in Allanak.  

Fast forward in time a few days and this new player (also playing an elf) kept running into trouble with people.  He was having trouble surviving the sort of confrontations (e.g. harrassment) that are the background static of playing an urban elf.  By this point many were clamoring for his blood.  ,  

I put some serious thought into the matter, and I had to admire the kid.  Here he was, new to the game, and he had the courage to try to play an elf.  Against my better judgment, I decided to do a good deed and to take him under my wing.  I have a soft spot for new player, and this --ALWAYS-- lands me in trouble.  Typically trouble with veteran players.  

So I make the rounds and apologize to all of the people who he has offended (merely by being an elf, heh) and then work to smooth things over.  All is forgiven.  Respect for my character has grown around Allanak for the way that I've handled the situation.  That accomplished, I realized that I lacked the time to make a round of public apologies every time the kid screwed up.  He needed more supervision than I could offer him.  

Mentally I made an inventory of all the places I could stash the kid while his player learned the game syntax, etiquette, etc.  No one in Allanak would conceivably be willing to take him in.  There was not much of an active playerbase in Red Storm.  Luir's outpost, and hence the Kuraci Fist, became the most appropriate Baby Sitters for the kid.  

So we set out.  On the road, I left behind my protective network of employees, friends, clients and even the city guard to reach Luir's.  I won't complain about this being difficult because it is actually more difficult to get a city elf to Luir's now than it was then.  Just keep in mind I had another city elf slowing me down who was being played by a total noob.  

Yet we reach Luirs.  I show the kid around.  He seems to like the place.  I do some shopping, smoke some spice, get my clothes cleaned.  All is well.  And it turns out that there are openings for soldiers in the Kuraci Fist.  Unfortunately, none of the officers are online, so we need to wait to talk to one.  Game days turn into real life days.  We wait.  Surprisingly the kid has taken pretty well to my coaching and manages to avoid offending everyone important in Luirs.  I start to feel good.  Perhaps I was right?  All the kid needed was a fresh start.  

And the natives don't seem to resent our presence at all.  In fact, there is a good deal of interest in us.  Our belongings.  Our back story.  Our motives for traveling to Luir's.  I explain to people that the kid is my nephew, and that he's a troubled young man who just needs some military discipline to help him find his place in the world.  A common enough problem for people to face, and in this case it's about 90% true.  

This story succeeds mainly in generating a ton more interest in my character, and here is where the metagaming really starts.  In real life, it's very common for someone to want to jump a border to avoid dealing with minor legal trouble, or to find a job.  

Finally I'm granted a second interview with a Sergeant, this time presumably to close on a deal that will exchange several years of military service from my "nephew" in exchange for some discipline.  I attend the interview with Sergeant Fussyface.  

Now, as far as background goes, I have especial reason to dislike Sergeant Fussyface.  I'd known her since before she was a trooper (through other characters.)  Back when she was a new character, she was a little too quiet.  Her emotes were a little too perfect.  Her character lacked any kind of personality, for reasons that were entirely obvious to me (as a player).  She wanted power.  Staff were once-upon-a-time more willing to promote really bland players to leadership than they were to promote someone like Sharlo Kadius or Raul d'Furies.  

So long story short, I hate this bitch.  But I wasn't expecting any trouble, going into the meeting.  The Fist was hiring and I was supplying cheap labor.  It wasn't an interview, it was a confirmation hearing.  What could be simpler?  

But right off the bat, the questions started getting weird.  

Her: Why have you come to Luir's?

Me: Uh, to get my nephew a job? (I thought I'd told her this?)

Her: Why don't you get him a job with your clan?

And I think here is where the disconnect happened.  I mean, it's true that I was a mid-tier operator in a reasonably heavy-weight elven criminal clan from Allanak.  But I don't think she understood a simple fact about elven culture.  I mean, I don't think her player understood.  Some elven families provide employment to their members.  Some elven families --don't-- provide employment to their members.  She just couldn't seem to wrap her brain around the fact that there were no jobs for a wayward elf in Allanak, criminally or otherwise.  She couldn't accept at face value the simple situation that a young man had a bit of trouble and needed someplace to go for military discipline.  

The discussion became pretty tense when it became clear that she thought my character was lying to her, and that I felt the problem was 90% out of game.  

At some point I realized that her player was just absolutely batty insane.  Having learned from my previous experience getting jumped in Luir's, I decided to spam run the fuck away and just cut the kid loose.  The whole situation wasn't worth loosing a respected eight-day gangster.  


leave;s;w;s;w;n;n;n;n;e;n;run;e;n

went well enough and I'm out.  I jog a few miles in the wasteland and then find a spot to catch my breath, pulling my blade just in case.  Quick sip of water.  It occurred to me that the decent thing to do was to use the Way to send a message to the kid, warning him to get the hell out and every man for himself.  

But some cloaked people come up to me on mounts.  It's her.  Proving that she's insane by tracking me through the wastelands over a misunderstanding.  

But hell, she doesn't have her legion of goons around her now?  There's only two of them.  I attack.

And begin to win?  She pulls a different blade and then nails me with a 1,000 coin poison.  Seriously.  

So I run away, and somehow manage to loose them.  I happen upon a group of like six PCs.  Desperately, I give them my story.  They've heard of Her.  They hate Her.  They agree that she's nuts.  They offer to help me, so long as it doesn't cause them any grief.

...except that she comes riding up at that moment, and give the group of PCs the lamest excuse, and proceeds to slaughter me in front of a group of witnesses.  


*****************
Whew!  That felt good to get off my chest.  It's been about ten years and really there's only the two death experiences that I really regret.  I've mostly been lucky.  When the code eats my characters, I chalk it up to experience.  When PCs kill my characters, I chalk it up to competitiveness.  When mobiles kill my character, it's part of the harsh atmosphere.  

 

[Nyr]

I was following you until you started blaming a player for something that can easily be explained away as something entirely IC.  The player is NOT the PC.

[Nyr]

Moral of both stories:  when you take your desert elf/rinthi elf out of the places that they are supposed to have power/influence, don't blame it on other players when you get schooled.

[jriley]

I'm mostly confused as to why a half-elf was considered a trophy seduction...

I was living in Columbus Ohio at the time?  I was about 33 and really horny.  There are no attractive women in Columbus.  I once drove from Columbus to Pittsburg just to get laid. 

MUDsexing some bored housewife (or possibly a guy) seemed perfectly reasonable.

[Wolfsong]

If there was some long-lived, mysterious, emotionally reserved PC badass hanging around, I'd try to crack them just because no one else had. A breed that thinks they're too good for my PC? Hell no, not unless I'm a miserable shoddy breed, too.

[Bacon]

Moral of both stories:  when you take your desert elf/rinthi elf out of the places that they are supposed to have power/influence, don't blame it on other players when you get schooled.

Damned skippy.

[Yam]

I'm mostly confused as to why a half-elf was considered a trophy seduction...

I was living in Columbus Ohio at the time?  I was about 33 and really horny.  There are no attractive women in Columbus.  I once drove from Columbus to Pittsburg just to get laid. 

MUDsexing some bored housewife (or possibly a guy) seemed perfectly reasonable.

Truly more depressing than any death 

[Yam]

My most depressing death was when I died to poop due to my own stupidity/drunkenness. No, not in the way that you would think. Unless you were there. Then you would know.

You would know.

[askaran]

damn that was a long drop

[askaran]

dude.. I really need to stop playing this game high..

[Armaddict]

dude.. I really need to stop playing this game high..

I did, but not because of stupid mistakes.  I find myself taking so long to type emotes when high that by the time I complete the emote or say, the moment for it has passed, resulting in perpetual silence from my end.

Playing drunk, however, is filled with mistakes.  I apparently logged in once with a mul assassin while blackout drunk and started killing random shit and got him tossed into the arena.  Which I have no recollection of whatsoever, so I actually thought the imm who responded to me to tell me what happened was lying.  Haha.

[Fathi]

The only time I ever played Armageddon while drunk, I rolled up a character after a long period of not playing.

Imagine my surprise when I came back a while later to discover lo, I had a character! Where the hell did that guy come from?

[WWYD]

The only death I feel crappy about is logging in early, getting into a bad situation while bleary, and forgetting how to type his weapon`s name.

[brytta.leofa]

The only death I feel crappy about is logging in early, getting into a bad situation while bleary, and forgetting how to type his weapon`s name.

> draw sword
You don't have that.
> draw simiter
You don't have that.
> draw scim
Your vision goes black.

Welcome to Armageddon!

[Karieith]

I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy this game again. I'm not leaving, I'm going to keep trying. I am not mad at what happened, I'm mad at myself. I blame myself, because there is so much I could have done, that I didn't do. I am kicking myself. I really loved that character, I really had fun on them. It's my fault and my fault alone. Largely player error, largely my own stupidity. I don't think I'll connect with another one, I miss this last one so much. I am full on hating myself so hard right now.

I resent those of you who have someone else to blame for this. You can be mad at them, you can believe that you did what you could and that it was unfair.

But this wasn't the case. It was me. I did it. I killed them. Me. I was stupid, and I'll never have that again.
...and I'm having such a hard time playing the game now.

I'm fucking heartbroken.

[My 2 sids]

I was playing one of my favorite PCs (my 1st real Byner) and finally after a lot of stuff she and her brother (real, IC brother) were going to do some much-needed planning.   They were hiding in the 'rinith when these NPCs from one room over start hassling them.  Finally, the NPCs straight out attack the brother.  I rush to assist (* this was when assist was still pretty new, so I was used to >hit <keyword>) and (because all the NPCs are coming out of the woodwork and all have the exact same keyword) I instead end starting a fight with an NPC.   Needless to say my PC is put down -- all because some Staff Member decided it would be "fun"  (yes, fun, I was told this later in an Imm email that the Staff member thought it'd be fun).   


My first Bynner, was no bynner.  I had made my 1st HG a non-combat type.  But, then a templar forced him into the Byn for training and he easily lost to a dwarf.

[solera]

I was playing one of my favorite PCs (my 1st real Byner) and finally after a lot of stuff she and her brother (real, IC brother) were going to do some much-needed planning. 

I've got good memories of her, especially when the Sarg pulled her out of his hat.(Sister..yeah?)
I'm sorry to hear she died more or less accidentally, though she was the more expendable one. 

[Dakurus]

I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy this game again. I'm not leaving, I'm going to keep trying. I am not mad at what happened, I'm mad at myself. I blame myself, because there is so much I could have done, that I didn't do. I am kicking myself. I really loved that character, I really had fun on them. It's my fault and my fault alone. Largely player error, largely my own stupidity. I don't think I'll connect with another one, I miss this last one so much. I am full on hating myself so hard right now.

I resent those of you who have someone else to blame for this. You can be mad at them, you can believe that you did what you could and that it was unfair.

But this wasn't the case. It was me. I did it. I killed them. Me. I was stupid, and I'll never have that again.
...and I'm having such a hard time playing the game now.

I'm fucking heartbroken.

It's rough. As you lose more you'll get a bit more used to it, but there will always be those that really hurt.
It's part of the game, part of the world, and you just have to get back on the horse when you're ready to ride again.
That's the fun right, the riding? Knowing that it won't be forever.

[DustMight]

It was me. I did it. I killed them. Me. I was stupid, and I'll never have that again.
...and I'm having such a hard time playing the game now.

I'm fucking heartbroken.

Nearly _every_ death of every PC I've had has been a mistake on my part or it's part.  I prefer the mistakes when they are character driven.  But regardless the good ones always break your heart. They should.  Like reading a good book and some character you love dies.  It isn't a good story otherwise.  So - congratulations on having something worth feeling bad about, for having a good story.  That's what the game is about.  In a sense we're all masochists.   We all know our characters are going to die, the question is when?

It's my hope that you never play perfectly.  And if you do, then never allow your characters to play perfectly.  Remember to allow yourself to forget which fruit is poison, which dude is the REAL bad guy and how exactly to get from Tuluk to Allanak or from Allanak to Red Storm. 

Keep making mistakes.  That is where you will find your real character development.