Funniest out of context quotes

[Anonymous]

Anyone ever see things in character that would be HILARIOUS out of context?  And can put them out of context enough that it's not revealing IC info?

Things like:

The foo man leans his log against the bar.

[Tlaloc]

I always think its funny when you see something like:

"The scarred, surly templar's eyes rove around the room."

Mostly because I always have this "rockets from the sockets" mental image as the Templar's eyes pop out of his head, and start flying around the room.

[Nusku]

"Boy, that was an Oedipal moment. ... You know, Oedipus Rex? Pokes his own eyes out? READ A BOOK!"

[rishenko]

I think my personal favorites come from keyword mixups.

This female PC was walking down the stairwell of this tavern, and slid her hand down the shaft of her spear.  Unfortunately she tried to use the "long" keyword and got mixed up with the bartender.

"Random hawt female looks around the tavern as she slides her hand down the long-haired, middle-aged man's shaft."

Good times.

[LauraMars]

Mostly because I always have this "rockets from the sockets" mental image as the Templar's eyes pop out of his head, and start flying around the room.

I do too.  I always want to emote picking them up.

Use the word 'gaze,' people.

[Yokunama]

Things like: The foo man leans his log against the bar.

A big sexual image popped into my head when I first saw that emote. :oops:

[slipshod]

There have been a couple of times I enter a command that makes me chuckle immaturely.

For example, there's a "fried dough balls" food item.
type - "eat balls"

Or if you want to see how much seasoning is left in the gourd shaker and you type - "ass shaker"

[X-D]

I personally get a chuckle anytime my char has to hand a head off to somebody else, specialy templars.

say (to scary templar) Yes Lady Templar, I have it.

give head templar

Several times I've even typed in.

tell templar (looking up) Was it good for you?


But I've never hit enter...sigh.

[LauraMars]

I'm always tempted to name a character Throw, so that when I type save, it says...

Saving Throw.

And of course there would be tons of vomit jokes.

[Anonymous]

ooh ooh! new one:

(read sig first - then it gets followed by: )

"Leading his half-giant privates"

Now THAT's an image.

[Anonymous]

In a female human's desc (it was obviously a typo of omission that got fixed later)-

Her breasts are the size of a half-giant's.

The word 'hand' was later added, but I really liked the mental image.

[Aldiel]

em picks up his leg and throws it at ~<enemy>.

I was told this was quite funny when I did it, but it made perfect sense in my mind at the time.

[spawnloser]

Her breasts are the size of a half-giant's.

BWAHAHAHAH!  I met that character!  That was hilarious.

My out of context quote?

Male character says, "So, just slide it in there?"
Female character says, "Oh, yeah, just about anything will fit."