A Jolly Green Guide on how to successfully talk to staff

[JollyGreenGiant]

Hi there, folks, your friendly neighborhood JollyGreenGiant here.  Over the time I've been here on Armageddon, I've seen a lot of the phrase (or variations thereof) "the staff hates me" in OOC communications - on the GDB, over messenger, whatever.  What I really see when someone says that, though, is "my communication with the staff has broken down."  I've got good news.  First, the staff doesn't hate you.  Second, it's almost never too late to fix things.  So if you find yourself frustrated, having problems communicating with the staff, or thinking "the staff hates me," here are some guidelines for dealing with that.

Start by writing an email.  The form of the email should be simple, and the email itself should be short.  Generally speaking, no matter what it is you're emailing, you're always better off being polite.  You can't bully the staff into doing things, you're going to have to persuade them, and that means you have to get them listening to you first.  Avoid making accusations and personal attacks.  Stay constructive.  Take the initiative and action yourself!  Make the email about you, don't make it about the staff.  For example:

Bad:
"You're not helping me."

Good:
"I feel like I'm having a hard time getting things done, and I was really hoping you could help."

Bad:
"You're pissing me off."

Good:
"I'm a little frustrated with things right now, but I'm willing to sit down and work things out."

Bad:
"I think you should do something."

Good:
"I'm willing to do something in order to get somewhere."

See the difference in perspective?  It's fine to let staff know you're frustrated!  But don't make it their fault, and let them know at the same time that you'd like to make things better somehow.

Let's talk about the form of the email.  Start with your introduction and greeting.  Say something nice to start off, it puts people in a better mood for reading the rest.  Next, concisely state the purpose of your email.  Last, offer any supporting details that are needed.

So let's say that you're feeling like the staff hates you, but hey, you're willing to put some effort into resolving that.  Here's a simple example email.

"Hi, my name is <name>.  I'm really having fun with <role>, but lately, I've felt like I've had problems communicating with the staff, and I'd like to do whatever I can to resolve it.  I would really appreciate any suggestions or criticisms you might have that will help us work better together.  I'm feeling frustrated at the moment due to <reason>, and I hope that we can get it worked out so that we can all have more fun.  Let me know what you need from me in the future, both IC and OOC, and I'll try to accomodate you.  I'm looking forward to working with you on this."

Hope that someone finds that helpful.  Happy trails, folks.

[JollyGreenGiant]

Here's another example email, in case you don't want to sound as formal or businesslike:

"Hey.  

I've really enjoyed <role>, but I've been feeling some tension between the staff and myself as of late.  Is <staffer>/the staff feeling the same, or is this just a misguided hunch?  The reason I'm asking is because of <reason>.
Any response would be highly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Account
Character
GDB"

[Moofassa]

Well now my email will look like unauthentic bung. :p

Yes, good guide...


My email was written pre-guide, Adhira and Dakurus.

*hangs head*

[Dracul]

Bah...I wrote a script to write my emails for me.

And the staff only hates mansa. And every whos account name starts with an O.


-----
seriously: Good tips...being a dick to someone isn't going to encourage them to help you out. And our imm staff rocks, especially when they're busy eating brainz.

[sacac]

Or if they start with a Tama, or uberjazz. J/k

Remember, like a good date, tell them how much you love them once in a  while.

[Tamarin]

I don't email the staff any more.  I gave up sponsored or clan roles a long time ago.

PS I know where you live, sacac...

[FiveDisgruntledMonkeysWit]

A good guide. Maybe an expanded version could be added to the docs? Seeing that the staff is approachable, reasonable, and human would be a boon for newbies. I knew as a newb I was utterly terrified of the staff; I thought they were some sort of dystopian magickal police force, ready to pounce on me as soon as my elf rode a kank or I attempted to break T'zai Byn regulations.
Some sort of guide to dealing with the staff, maybe some explanation on what the staff does (during downtime and otherwise) and maybe the current projects and whatnot could all be consolidated into one useful helpfile?

[HardCarbon]

A good guide. Maybe an expanded version could be added to the docs? Seeing that the staff is approachable, reasonable, and human would be a boon for newbies. I knew as a newb I was utterly terrified of the staff; I thought they were some sort of dystopian magickal police force, ready to pounce on me as soon as my elf rode a kank or I attempted to break T'zai Byn regulations.
Some sort of guide to dealing with the staff, maybe some explanation on what the staff does (during downtime and otherwise) and maybe the current projects and whatnot could all be consolidated into one useful helpfile?

Human?  Reasonable?... Bah!! no such thing!!  Secret agent number 99 recorded this campfire song at the AIM before his untimely demise.  Judge for yourself....

The Githmas Song (PC's Roasting on an Open Fire) : Lyrics
Player Characters roasting on an open fire,
Halflings  nipping on your nose,
Sandtide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Nomads.

Everybody knows a silt horrer and some ginka,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow(with defiler magic),
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Muk Utep is on his way;
He's loaded lots of Soldiers and Faithful on his argosy.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if Whira priests really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Githmas to you.

[Revelations]

Heeheehee.  :lol:  I liked it, even though it was just a tad bit off topic.  :roll:

Be nice, be courteous, be patient most of all. Tha's all I got to say. No need for a specific format/s, unless that's the absolute simpliest and easiest way for all the staffers to read. The general guidelines would help having in the docs maybe.

[Dracul]

And learn to summarize.
Somethign I STILL need to do.


I feel guilty sometimes when an imm replies "huh?"
And it happens. Because I ramble and inclue -everything- while I think Im only summarizing. And end up with a three page report about how my character sratched his balls at the bar becuase he was bored.

[Anonymous]

That we have to have a thread about communicating with immortals is indicative of something.  What, exactly, I'm undecided on.

[flurry]

That common courtesy isn't?

[Dracul]

That common courtesy isn't?

Yes.

But people are naturally stupid as I was explaining to JGG earlier. This dawned on him as very enlightening and an answer to many questions about peoples actions.

[Sanvean]

I wanted to underscore some things JGG said, since they match advice I've given various people over the years.

Keep it short. If you're one of those people who send in 2000 words at a time, that's too long.  Write it out the way you want it, if you must, and then go back and cut the length in half.  If it's over 500 words, provide a summary in a few sentences at the beginning.  Why?  Several reasons.  One is that when faced with length, people tend to skim, and miss the important stuff.  Another is that you run the risk of having your email set aside for an occasion when the person has enough time to read it.  Another is that it annoys the slow readers (I've had several people express this to me).  

If you're writing in the heat of anger - don't send it. Put it aside for at least a night and then go back and revise - or start afresh.  If you charge in, guns blazing, with an opening like "You fuckers" or "This is all bullshit", people will respond in kind, and you're going to find yourself in a bad situation.

Edit your logs.  I -hate- reading through logs that are full of extraneous kruft, like looking at the room repeatedly, or ten pages of moving from point A to point B.

[adrien]

So no msn style e-mails?

[path]

I find it helps at all times to remember that the staff are all volunteer. They're doing this for their fun and for our fun and for love of this complicated world. That's so good. Many of them have been donating their hours for years.

[Eniriah]

Some good points have been raised in this thread that I'd like to put my 2 cents in about.

There are going to be miscommunications, people are people, and staff and players alike are going to make mistakes. We are all human, heh.

I can not stress enough, however, the need to maintain respect when communicating with each other.

It is ok if misunderstandings occur and you feel angry about something. But as Sanvean pointed out - writing an email during the heat of that anger and sending it in, cursing at staff, etc. is not taken well, nor is it taken lightly. You can say you're angry, state why and state your perception of the situation without blasting the person on the receiving end.

Despite people butting heads time to time, please remember that we ARE here, volunteering our time, and we are also here with the intention of making this a fun game. We can't please everyone, but we do what we can to find compromises, keep things running smoothly, and to make this enjoyable for all parties. If a player doesn't understand why something happened, I want to know, and to be given a chance to explain my perspective then reach a mutual decision (if possible) where everyone is happy with it.

Also please remember - there are two sides to things. You will get much further with a rational, calm discussion.

We are here to help - not be the enemy.  :wink:

E.