OMG, You're an Immortal???!

[mansa]

I'd like to hear each one of the staff's reply to this little questions I have.  Even from some of the staff that -don't- post in the mortal sections of the GDB.  Like Ghest, Xygax, or ever the mysterious Nechomacus...

First of all...A conversation I've witnessed.


Person 1:

When people know, you start to get a lot of PMs asking IC info, asking for favors, asking about this or that.  And it's like suddenly being put in charge of your office when you're the one with the least amount of time there.  What everyone else needs to realize is that when a player turns staff, they don't mystically change into some honorable and different being from what they were.  If they used to cheat, they still cheat.  If they used to abuse power, they still abuse power.  If they used to do nothing but mudsex, well, chances are high that's what they still like.  They're still the same players, and the respect for them goes hand in hand for what hard work they've done.

Person 2:

You don't think that some staffers have a change of attitude (good or bad) that comes with their position?

Person 1:

I think they are the same people, and that a title doesn't make them any different.  I respect the good people, and the others...well.  If you don't have anything nice to say, there you go.

Person 3:

They are the same people. Most of them have been players FAR longer than they have admins.

Person 2:

I don't know, I know of at least one staffer who became more responsible (about what they say ooc'ly, at APM's, etc) because they feel they should because of their position. Obviously, most would agree that that's a good thing.




When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?




I guess I'm asking this, because, with a position like an Immortal, there's always going to be rumours and gossip.  Perhaps if we, as the players of Armageddon, could take a peek into the life of an Immortal, the players wouldn't be so...surprised...when a friend of theirs announces to the whole world that they've become an Immortal and now must say goodbye to a lot of friends and personalities.

[Xygax]

When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

Nope.

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

One person told me they wished I hadn't told them. and it totally changed our interaction.  It's changed my interactions with a few people (that know, I haven't told very many, and I don't -think- it's gone much further than those few), but I don't think I'd say the changes were negative.  Just changes.

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

Funny, I don't really think of my position as a staff member on ArmageddonMUD as a "boss" position.  I go out of my way NOT to tell players what to do, even the ones in my clans (other than the IC "boss" work of driving NPCs, which I think is a distinct thing).  The occasional RP-critique aside, I don't think it's our duty to tell players what to do, and even in a critique, we should be looking for guidelines, not mandates.

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

No.

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?

Hm.  I talk about the game quite a bit less...  not necessarily because I was a huge blab before, but because I worry about slipping up and revealing things I shouldn't...  The problem is that even random, seemingly harmless information may (because of the complexity of the world-wide "plot-net" of the game), reveal some other aspects of the game-world or ongoing plotlines, and ruin the ongoing story.  It's funny how, when you have a staffer's perspective, you can see the damage done by this subtle OOC manipulation that much more clearly, than when you were a player....  even very subtle out-of-game chatter can impact plots that range across the Known World.

Even moreso, as a staffer, I've come to realize how much work has gone into crafting and protecting that on-going story, and how fragile it can be in the presence of even the subtlest out-of-game interaction (even people seeing when you login and out of IRC/AIM can be damaging!!!).

I guess I'm also probably less initially trusting of new Arm-related online acquantances than I was before.

I guess I'm asking this, because, with a position like an Immortal, there's always going to be rumours and gossip.  Perhaps if we, as the players of Armageddon, could take a peek into the life of an Immortal, the players wouldn't be so...surprised...when a friend of theirs announces to the whole world that they've become an Immortal and now must say goodbye to a lot of friends and personalities.

Some individuals (staff and otherwise) deal with this sort of rumor-mongering differently than others.  Most of the staff consider their "secret identity" (read: who they were BEFORE becoming staff) extremely private, and therefore HOPE that you will respect that desire for privacy (whether you're someone they consider a friend or not).  I personally don't -think- that many of you know who I am, or was before joining staff, partly because I've never been a particularly high-profile person out-of-game, but beyond politely asking the few people who know who I am NOT to share that information, I haven't gone to great lengths to shield it).  It's a weird thing, though, when someone comes to you and asks, "Are you an imm??"  And it puts you in the awkward position of having to choose between either creating a strange conflict of interest (even if the conflict is only one of perception) by telling the truth, or having to lie to your friend.  That zugzwang is one of the most unpleasant moments I've encountered since joining the staff.

My best advice for players who find out their friends have become staff is to simply let them tell you in their own time (or not, if they choose not to), and try not to gossip with your other friends about it.  It may spare you some real awkwardness, or worse.  And once you find out, -try- not to treat them differently...  by that, I mean don't censor yourself with them (this is my worst fear -- that I won't be able to have the same conversations I had before with my newly-paranoid friend), don't ask them for things (this is obvious, and no one I've even told has done this to me), and don't tell anyone else; respect their privacy and allow them to "come out of the closet" in their own time.

-- X

[Halaster]

I started playing Armageddon somewhere around '93?  Or maybe that's when I became staff.  Whatever the case, it was before the Internet was what it is now - before browsers and graphics and popular IM software.  There's only a handful of people still around who were around back then (Nessalin, LoD, a few others) that I know at all.  So, I can't say that I have any clue what it was like being player only.  So, most of your questions I can't answer.  I've always been "me" in the Armageddon corner of the Internet.

I have, on occasion, taken on a 2nd identity when I've played some particular mortal I really liked, but I quickly got tired of trying to keep them up.

I've always had a decent relationship with a lot of players.  We chat about random things, but most have learned they're not going to get any secrets out of me, or sensitive IC info.  But we're still "online friends".

[Saikun]

When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

I do not now, nor have I ever, had an AIM messenger list. Besides, when I came on staff, there was no such thing.

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

Most of them wanted stuff. I tried to keep it a secret for as long as I could, but someone eventually squealed. We had them recycled into industrial lubricants, but it was too late by that point.

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

Most of my friends were already immortals, so it was kind of the reverse process. I think stuff outside the game had a lot more to do with turning me into the angry recluse I am today, than becoming an immortal did.

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

I'm not sure what you mean. The real world? It's hard to shut that off. I found that the MUD world changed, and it became very difficult to play. I don't think it had much to do with the usual problem of suddenly knowing everything, because frankly, a player who has been in the game for an hour knows more than I do about the game world right now. I just find it extraordinarily difficult to get into a mortal character these days, which is disappointing. And if by shut off the world, you mean forcing 60 people to meander, blinking and confused, back out into the natural sunlight with nothing more than a press of my finger on a particular power button, that didn't come until somewhat later.

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?

I've disposed of my friends. And the ones who were playing as mortals when I became an imm either no longer play, or I've forgotten their names.

-S

[Bakha]

I'll say that when I came on staff, my OOC conversations with playere basically went to nil. As a player, I was a regular fixture on ISCA (acct: Riga) and had quite a few friends there. Once I went on staff, I stopped logging in as much on ISCA, eventually quitting altogether. It just wasn't as much fun talking to other people, because, as Xygax said, I had to constantly self-censor myself when discussing the game.

Additionally, the staff channel and various staff rooms usually have pretty active OOC conversation going on in them. I found myself getting closer to the staff and chatting with them more while chatting less and less with the players.

That's just me, though.

[Ix Machina]

When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

No, not really. -HOW- I talked did change. I try to say less, or not anything meaningful for fear of (like Xygax and the rest stated) spoiling plotlines or the work of others, imms and players.

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

Only two people figured it out really before someone else squealed. Both said they wouldn't say anything and didn't treat me any differently. One did break down and ask me if I would give them IC info, but I brushed it off, made a joke about not telling them, and they were cool about it. I always have a fear now that I'll get deluged with OOC requests for favors/info, but it doesn't happen and I'm glad for it. At least it hasn't happened yet. I don't really talk to that many people, and the ones I do talk to have been pretty supportive.

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

I, personally, don't regard myself as a boss figure. Most of the things I do now, I did as a player, I'm just able to do more of them. My personality hasn't changed, however, having been an immortal at a different mud, I knew and know that when people know you're an immortal or who you play, their perception of you changes. A lot of people become paranoid or think you're an immortal 'spy' (maybe I'm paranoid). I think that's even worse than asking for stuff, because that really causes stress in friendships (breakdown of trust). Like Xygax, I don't tell people what to do.

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

I'm actually a fairly private person when it comes to who I am and what I do. There's certain things I don't want to be anyone's business unless I come right out and tell them individually. I didn't shut out the world when I first became an immortal, but I also didn't shout out to the world that I became one. I didn't want to be treated any differently. This involved a lot of lying to people I considered friends because many times, my privacy wasn't being respected. At times my privacy was blatantly disrespected by rumor-mongering to my dismay, but as Xygax says, it happens all the time. I wasn't terribly surprised, but disappointed, and this has led to me shutting out a section of people I used to interact with before (and for a long time after) becoming staff.

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?

I talk a lot less about the mud myself, unless I'm acting as a helper. Not that I was a total chatterbox before, at least not when I was busy. I find I -listen- more closely or between the lines. Sometimes people have good ideas just talking that they might not think of idea'ing or emailing to the mud, or they might not realize it, or they might spark an idea in me. I am actually a lot more accepting of players than I was as a player, if that makes any sense? A lot less critical and more concerned with general things than the nitty-gritty details.

I guess I'm asking this, because, with a position like an Immortal, there's always going to be rumours and gossip.  Perhaps if we, as the players of Armageddon, could take a peek into the life of an Immortal, the players wouldn't be so...surprised...when a friend of theirs announces to the whole world that they've become an Immortal and now must say goodbye to a lot of friends and personalities.

The life of a staffer isn't any different from the life of a player, except generally, we have a lot more work to do.

[Sanvean]

When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

Well, when I came on staff, we didn't have AIM. A few of us chatted on ISCA. When I became an imm, I only told a few people that I trusted, but eventually it spread. I had run a couple of pretty high profile characters in the game, so a lot of people knew who I was.

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

Honestly, it's been so long that I don't remember much of a change. The people I'd told knew that I was telling them because I was so excited and pleased as punch. Many of them had seen me as the head imm on another mud, so they knew I was fairly capable.

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

It is hard. I lost a couple of friendships that I had enjoyed as a result of people who couldn't hack that change. Nowadays I'm fairly wary of new people - I've seen too many "Hi how are you?"s that ended up with "Can you load me object X on the game?" which means you have to move from the friendly stage to the boss stage, whether you like it or not. I've gotten more than a little jaded about it, to tell the truth.

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

I'm not sure what you mean.

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?

I think that, with the real friends (who understand that I may make game decisions they don't agree with, heh) I'm the same as I ever was.  Many of the people who were around when I came on staff have cycled through on staff in their own time, either to stick around, or filter back into the playerbase.

Most of my friends, perhaps as a result of that, are on the staff. One's my best friend, another I'm married to. Others have been increasingly important over the years, due to the staff gatherings and various things like holiday card exchanges.

[Vendyra]

When you became staff, did you have to change who you talk to, via your AIM messenger lists?

No.  I didn't tell many of the people that I talked to, and they still have no idea.  It wouldn't be fair for me to drop all of my online friends simply because I assumed some added duties.  I don't think I'm deceiving them.  Just selectively not telling information.

When people who knew you before realized or figured out you're an immortal now, how did most of them react?

Those who knew/know were/are very supportive of the change, and feel it was fair.  I don't expect special treatment and neither do they.

How much stress is it, to change your own personality, from a friend to a boss figure, with your friends?

I didn't change my personality.  I'm not a boss figure and I don't act as though I am one.  I'm not superior to anyone.

Did you have to shut off the world, when you first became an Immortal?

Only a little bit.  I was more wary in my e-mails and the likes so that I didn't give away my identity, but I didn't stop going onto AIM and talking to my friends.

What do you do now, differently, then what you used to do when you were a mortal, regarding your own friends?

As a matter of fact, nothing.  I didn't spread OOC info around when I was a mortal, and I don't now.  I still talk with online friends as I have the whole time.

As a side note, there's been a rumor for at least a year now that says I'm a certain player which I'm not.  This player has e-mailed me with the situation and is constantly harassed by his/her friends.  When you think someone is a staff member, don't confront them about it.  If they want you to know, they'll tell you.  Badgering them makes them uncomfortable (I would be if someone did this to me), and demanding that players who aren't even staff 'tell the truth' is ridiculous.  Please realize that you're hurting other people when you continue this game of 'who's the staff member'.