You could always just kill the Whiran and/or Vivaduan terrorizing your area. Fuckin' gicks.
Another expensive option worth mentioning just because it hasn't been mentioned and you're dealing with a crappy cell tower to boot is satellite internet (Hughes Net, DirectTV)*. The bandwidth on these services generally suck but the cool thing about MUDs is they are the lowest bandwidth games around these days.
* No, you don't need to wait for Starlink, because just like every one of Musk's "inventions" or "innovations," Starlink isn't new or innovative at all but rather a repackaging of existing technology. I used to work for Tesla and as part of onboarding they show you Musk's patents to show you how ingenious he is BUT the fact is he hasn't invented shit and the first Tesla was in fact just a rebranded Lotus rich kid Musk wanted customized.