The only in Zalanthas thread. Things that seem to contradict reality in Zalanthas.
1. Always having a 'wastebin' or unseen place to dispose of worthless/broken/what have you items.
2. The most comfortable chitin and bone armor known to man. Able to relax on couches and stools with ease.
3. Women only get pregnant if they really love you or they hate you enough to spend an IG year waddling
... Anything else?
Get drunk and pilot a wagon. There are no cops to pull you over!
Yeah, the worst that can happen is that you crash an 80,000 'sid wagon and 20,000 'sid worth of cargo off the shield wall, and get murdered for it!
Only in Zalanthas do you automatically assume someone is dead if you don't hear from them for two weeks.
Only in Zalanthas is your cell phone reception adversely affected by the inebriation of the individual who's drunk-dialing you.
Only in Zalanthas does every woman have perpetually shaven legs, even if they never attend to any other body hygene.
Only in Zalanthas can you have civilization built upon Clansmanship and heredity, but no one actually has living relatives; siblings; or formal rules regarding mating and procreation for the vast majority of individuals.
*modified to add "only in zalanthas"
Nobody has said this yet? Really?
Only in Zalanthas can you have sex for a day (or longer? :o) straight.
Only in Zalanthas can you have sex without actually removing any clothes.
Only in Zalanthas is sex one of the most dangerous activities to participate in, but STDs are non-existent.
All of those can apply to real life, Taven, if you're doing it right/wrong.
Quote from: MeTekillot on October 18, 2011, 10:01:08 PM
All of those can apply to real life, Taven, if you're doing it right/wrong.
::)/ :D/ :o
Only in Zalanthas can you put 1000 obsidian pieces into your thin leather headband and remove it without dropping a single one!
Only in Zalanthas can you been born , kill yourself with in the hour of your creation and wake up alive.
Or better said,
Only in Zalanthas is there a suicide clause.
Only in Zalanthas must I stand up from the bed I'm sitting on in order to put something beside me on the bed (ie arrange)
Only in Zalanthas can the air be 'silent as sand' while the sand is swirling about, obscuring my view.
Quote from: manipura on October 19, 2011, 04:09:41 AM
Only in Zalanthas can the air be 'silent as sand' while the sand is swirling about, obscuring my view.
-TO BE FAIR-, it doesn't specify -how- silent the sand is. The sand could be deafening, it'll still be as 'silent as the sand'.
Only in Zalanthas can someone forage for salt, in Salt Flats, and yet do not find any salt.
...or mine for obsidian in the obsidian mines, and not find obsidian. Or forage for kindling in a grove of trees and not find so much as a single fallen branch. Or "forage food for bulb" in the barrens, where the room desc says there are bulbs all over the place, visible to the naked eye, and be instructed "you cannot forage for food here."
Only in Zalanthas can you step into a shallow cave at the same topographical level as the rest of the area, during high sun, with both the red and white moon shining high in the sky - and be too dark to see without a light source.
Only in Zalanthas can you personally wear enough weapons to equip an army unit, without anyone batting an eyelash.
Only in Zalanthas would that blonde even consider kanking you.
But just like in real life, the shape of your ears might effect her decision!
Only in Zalanthas do you interview an assassin, pick-pocket, warrior, and shoe maker, and think the shoe maker is hiding something.
Only in Zalanthas is there a bluebird on your shoulder....all the time...through sandstorms...through combat...during sex.
Only in Zalanthas do people successfully live for decades before forgetting every survival skill they ever learned and dying within a week.
Only in Zalanthas does someone have a choice of looting a body of an embroidered silk cloak, a ruby pendant, an ivory-hilted longsword, a crystalline ball and a mask of old, dirty leather and want the mask most.
Only in Zalanthas does a cooked steak mean a shriveled mass of burned meat.
Only in Zalanthas am I more nervous entering a wealthy, 3-bedroom house with a lockable door than crossing a burning desert crawling with carnivorous animals the size of my Hyundai.
-LoD
QuoteOnly in Zalanthas am I more nervous entering a wealthy, 3-bedroom house with a lockable door than crossing a burning desert crawling with carnivorous animals the size of my Hyundai.
That one is priceless.
Only in Zalanthas does a small bribe from a breed saves him from the Templar, but a large bribe from a human get him killed.
Only in Zalanthas is the arid wastelands and desert safer then the forest.
Only in Zalanthas are tree huggers actually brave.
Only in Zalanthas can a drug dealer, a gun seller, and a fashion mogul walk into a bar and all be around equal standing.
Only in Zalanthas do people think it's fashionable to assemble a 35 piece outfit that consists of only one color.
LoD wins the thread.
Only in Zalanthas can you fall from the top of the shield wall, -SURVIVE-, only to be stabbed in the face by a Gith.
Only in Zalanthas do you stamp and splash around in shit every time you enter the latrines, regardless of your PCs grace/nimbleness.
Quote from: Spoon on October 20, 2011, 02:31:05 PM
Only in Zalanthas do you stamp and splash around in shit every time you enter the latrines, regardless of your PCs grace/nimbleness.
Only in Zalanthas is the smell of shit considered universally amazing enough to stamp and splash into by most commoners ;)
Only in Zalanthas is any drug equally effective whether smoked or snorted.
Only in Zalanthas are there no 'leg men' due to elves being "icky."
Only in Zalanthas do vehicles never break down unless they take a plunge off the Shield Wall.
Only in Zalanthas are you looked at as weird or poor if you use a torch instead of a fucking raver's toy for illumination.
Only in Zalanthas are creatures who live by cunningly hunting prey dumb enough to go leaping off a hundred foot high cliff after you climb over carefully.
Only in Zalanthas is there a more than 50% change that the person you're talking to may suddenly go catatonic at random intervals.
Only in Zalanathas are there two Big Brothers, not just one.
Only in Zalanthas can the most hated race [breeds in case you were wondering] be saved from abuse due to relationships. When the hallmark of a breed is the inability to have stable relationships...
Only in Zalanthas can this be rectified by kicking a breed off the shield wall. [byn sargeants I hope you're reading]