http://www.zalanthas.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=24087 (The Muk Utep story)
Now that we all know Muk was a large man (near eight feet from head to toe), and that he is easily the most impressive warrior on any battlefield, and that he has hair the color of crimson (a color he knows all too well), and that he has the ability to see foretell the future (making him unstoppable, for who could ever stop a foe, who always knew what you were going to do before even you did), how do we all feel about this?
Hell ya. Punk-bitch Tek.
Quotefor who could ever stop a foe, who always knew what you were going to do before even you did
My boy Tek, that's who! :twisted:
The threads branch. On one thread Utep rose to power, like we know. On the other branch, he died of dysentery, his soul leaking out his ass. Tektolnez conquers the Northlands, and there is no Rebellion. Without Utep stirring up trouble, the North and South reach a greater understanding, and everyone comes away the better for it. Then the halflings attack the pacified centers of Civilization in the great invasion later known as: Lunch.
Ahh! What the world could have been!
-WP enjoyed the story greatly, though he expected Utep to be a little more... girly. Can't wait for the adventures of Tek.
Muk Utep: And if this is your army, why does it go?
Soldier: We didn't come here to fight for them.
Second Soldier: Home, the Allanakis are too many!
Muk Utep: Sons of Tuluk! I am William Wallace, I mean, I am Muk Utep!
Second Soldier: Muk Utep is eight feet tall and can foretell ze future!
Muk Utep: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the English, I mean, the Allanakis, with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
[Tuluk army laughs]
Muk Utep: I AM Muk Utep! And I see a whole army of my country men, here, in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Soldier: This HRPT blows! I'll just stand back and loot the corpses when it's over.
change objective Have Muk's large, impressive, crimson-haired, future-telling babies.
Quote from: "Flaming Ocotillo"who could ever stop a foe, who always knew what you were going to do before even you did?
THAT IS EASY. For as everyone knows, the weakness of all immortal, future-seeing, impressively large men is that they can NOT SEE INTO THE FUTURE OF EACH OTHER. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first. Muk Utep can not see into the future of his most deadly enemy, so powerful is he!! Thus, they can never defeat one another and so their clash will last centuries. MILLENIA, EVEN?!?!
Muk Utep died a long time ago, he foresaw his death, told his most loyal generals what would happen, told them that as long as they didn't reveal his death to the masses the future would not change.
THE END.
You call him WARLORD, bitch.
I wonder if anyone would bow to Utep - given the standard practice to nod to Nobility and Templarate within the North.
Can kind of picture a bunch of guys just sitting around at the Kings Sancutary, offering a casual nod to the eight foot beast as he stomps through the tavern. While the southern bynner there shits himself (no surprise)
"Oh yeah? That guy? Yeah. Sun King. King of all you see before you, savoir of .. blah blah blah. Good guy though. Pretty nice when you get to know him. Predicted my girlfriend getting crabs - funny story..."
Meanwhile if Tek stepped in to the Barrel, you'd probably kiss the floor so hard you'd barely be able to feel the sensation of your testacles strinking to the size of peas as you urinate yourself. The northerner bynner looking around before pointing to him...
"Who's tha-"
Bursts into flames.
Sand Lord destroys all.
Its cheating. Muk is outside the permitted height range, and I'm pretty sure none of the Class descriptions in the help files mentions precognition.
Quote from: "Nameless Face"Its cheating. Muk is outside the permitted height range, and I'm pretty sure none of the Class descriptions in the help files mentions precognition.
Except, you know, mindbenders.
Quote from: "Spiegel"I wonder if anyone would bow to Utep - given the standard practice to nod to Nobility and Templarate within the North.
Can kind of picture a bunch of guys just sitting around at the Kings Sancutary, offering a casual nod to the eight foot beast as he stomps through the tavern. While the southern bynner there shits himself (no surprise)
"Oh yeah? That guy? Yeah. Sun King. King of all you see before you, savoir of .. blah blah blah. Good guy though. Pretty nice when you get to know him. Predicted my girlfriend getting crabs - funny story..."
Meanwhile if Tek stepped in to the Barrel, you'd probably kiss the floor so hard you'd barely be able to feel the sensation of your testacles strinking to the size of peas as you urinate yourself. The northerner bynner looking around before pointing to him...
"Who's tha-"
Bursts into flames.
Probably a wise thing to kiss the floor and pray you don't get noticed when -any- ruler King stomps into view. :shock:
Is anyone else but me picturing Muk-Utep as Brock Sampson from the Venture Bros?
And Tektolnes would have to be the Monarch, or Baron Unterbite.
Quote from: "Shalooonsh"Is anyone else but me picturing Muk-Utep as Brock Sampson from the Venture Bros?
And Tektolnes would have to be the Monarch, or Baron Unterbite.
I am now. Damn you!
(definitely the Monarch. It's going to be hard to bow to templars now... I'm going to imagine them with butterfly wings)
change objective Fuck Muk Utep (but only if he's still alive and really hot)
Muk Utep is man enough for eight men. And women.
Quote from: "Spiegel"I wonder if anyone would bow to Utep - given the standard practice to nod to Nobility and Templarate within the North.
For one thing, it's a nod or other polite gesture of deference because bowing fell out of fashion during the Occupation where people were forced to bow to foreign officials. Also it's not a casual nod. It's a clear show of respect. Prostrating yourself before your godking is not out of the question for a Tuluki.
Yes, people would bow/kneel/prostrate before the Sun King or His Voice, the High Precentor. However, they probably wouldn't do it the whole time said person was present, in the case of work needing to be attended to such as a meeting or celebration or something.
I apologize for not clarifying how the Tuluki commoners were giving a very serious nod to Utep Muk in the joke. :roll:
I am sure plenty of people would have broken noses in both cases from over-extended bowing. Might be better off just laying down.
I'd go with Baron Unterbite for Tek - atleast he doesn't have a completely effeminate voice. Instead of being able to see the future, he has that Magic 8-ball guy. Giving some credit to Tek's ability as a general, I mean Muk can completely see the future, all Tek has to go on is "Outcome looks good." or the dreaded "Ask again later."
Quote from: "Spiegel"I apologize for not clarifying how the Tuluki commoners were giving a very serious nod to Utep Muk in the joke. :roll:
I am sure plenty of people would have broken noses in both cases from over-extended bowing. Might be better off just laying down.
This was said as a joke, but it isn't far from the mark. Templars of both sects, senior nobles and other high ranked officials would like prostrate themselves completely before some of the highest ranked government officials such as a High Precentor or the King. Bowing is out of fashion for the Chosen and Faithful, because of the relationships fostered during the occupation, but it would be rare for anyone to forget the almost limitless power that the truly high in the government wield. Of course, seeing one of these people is rare enough that it would be a story to tell your kids and grandkids one day.
I always thought Mek Utep died in the conflict with the dragon. Tuluk from then was more or less ruled by the most powerful mindbenders in the lands.
Muk Utep is really Trogdor in disguise.
I also always thought Muk Utep is somewhat incapacipated or dead. Maybe one day he'll rise from the dead then Tuluk will have his own gemmers.
Quote from: "Flaming Ocotillo"how do we all feel about this?
That Muk was a great man.
But Tek is greater.
Muk Utep was a man...
or maybe he was a dragon-man...
maybe he was just a dragon...
BUT HE WAS STILL MUK UTEP!!!
burninating the countryside
burninating the peasants
burninating all the people and thatched roof cottages
thatched roof cottages!!!
Quote from: "Shalooonsh"Is anyone else but me picturing Muk-Utep as Brock Sampson from the Venture Bros?
Yes, but with more of a jaw that could cut through solid granite.
Quote from: "Nameless Face"Its cheating. Muk is outside the permitted height range, and I'm pretty sure none of the Class descriptions in the help files mentions precognition.
maby he was a half-elf, the looks of a human but height of an elf
Quote from: "adrien"maby he was a half-elf, the looks of a human but height of an elf
Nah, he picked half-elf at creation but didn't mention any elven characteristics in his description. Noob.
He was a special app.
What really happened:
Muk was made when Arm first opened, he special app'd and all that. Then with his future seeing abilities he saw that the game would be closing in 15 years, so he was like "Hell, nothing I do will be worth it. Gah! This is stupid, I hate this. I can't play anymore," Then he retired. That was the big news he was so troubled about. He just made his generals do his bidding, cause he didn't want to play anymore. He told them exactly what to do step by step, cause he wouldn't be playing anymore.
That is what happened, Muk was just played by one of the those people who recently quit from the news of the game doing a dieing/rebirth.
He's right, actually. Heh, I wish I still played as much as I used to, but It feels so dead allready to me, blach.
I AM GREAT
Quote from: "LauraMars"He was a special app.
... Thank you, Laura, now I'm picturing Muk as a RETARDED Brock Samson from the Venture Brothers with a flaming red mullet.
Someone once said in OOC chatter that Muk Utep looked like Woody Allen. The image seared itself irredeemably into my vision of the Sun-King and I just can't shake it away, no matter what he really looks like. Damn the GDB!
Quote from: "Dalmeth"Quote from: "adrien"maby he was a half-elf, the looks of a human but height of an elf
Nah, he picked half-elf at creation but didn't mention any elven characteristics in his description. Noob.
i sorta mentioned what your are saying except i was more blunt then you
I just gotta say.. all the people dropping out of the game now are missing one HELL of a going away party...
I hope we can have several "hell of a going away parties" for us offpeakers. :( I don't want to miss the end of the world because I work on Saturdays. :)
Quote from: "bloodfromstone"I hope we can have several "hell of a going away parties" for us offpeakers. :( I don't want to miss the end of the world because I work on Saturdays. :)
QFT
Quote from: "Djarjak"I just gotta say.. all the people dropping out of the game now are missing one HELL of a going away party...
Quoted for truth.
It's been amazing amounts of fun. Refer to signature below.