I'd like to ask for advice on two main things; writing concise, informational posts and emails, and, when emailing clan immortals, what sort of information to include (and how much).
See, I ramble. Badly. I make a sincere effort not to, but it's usually unsuccessful. I am in envious awe of Rindan, LoD, et al. Does anyone have specific techniques they use to write up an email or a post? How do you organize your thoughts so neatly? Is there a specific format you use to make it as painless to read as possible?
When writing emails to clan Immortals, how much is too much? Do the immortals want to know everything, from how Joe grunt feels about Jane grunt, to the assassination plot on Lieutenant X? Do we include only "important" stuff? What classifies as "important"? Do you mind getting the same information from several different people?
Things like that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have a tendency to ramble too in reports to immortals, partly out of uncertainty about what should be included.
Besides trying (with mixed success) to be more concise, I've tried a few other things to help make those emails more readable. One is to lead off with the most important or pressing information, and work my way down to the things which are closer to trivialities. Another thing I sometimes do is summarize what I'm reporting at the top (e.g. "In this email, I'm going to report on A's death, B&C's affair, and a strange encounter with Z"). Also, a few times when I had a -lot- to report, I broke it up into two emails that were divided by topic (e.g. personal stuff and professional stuff).
My preference:
Tell me why you're writing to me.
Tell me your understanding of the situation. Tell me what if anything you want from me.
Ideally, give me a summary, and then expand with details if you like details.
What I need to see:
The point you're trying to make.
Your account and character name.
What I never want to see:
Nidhogg,
Read the log.
Love,
Bozo
If you can't be bothered to give me some idea what the log contains, I can't be bothered to go reading though it.
IRAC
In legal briefs they tell you to present all writings in this order:
Issue
Rule
Application
Conclusion
Good guidline for most writings.
I usually do a summary right off the bat. I'll quickly go over the problem or request, just to give the reader/Imm an idea of the meat of my post, and then I'll go off into my ramble, if I feel it's necessary. This way the reader can go over my initial paragraph and decide wether or not my request is something urgent and deserves a reply or even a thorough read, or if it's something that can be bumped back awhile, or if it's even their business at all.
-WP
WarriorPoet's suggestion is a good one. Tell us what you're gonna tell us, tell us, then tell us what you told us (I believe that's a paraphrased brutalization of something Winston Churchill or some other such important soul said one). If you can discipline yourself to follow that style in your writing, you'll find that you end up with better focused work as a result: you'll have a clear idea of where you're going because you've summarized it up-front (the "tell us what you're going to tell us" part), and your work will be better organized because you'll have reviewed it at the end to draw your conclusions (the "tell us what you told us" part).
If you ramble a little bit in the middle, that's fine, too, because if your synopsis/thesis/abstract is effective, we'll be able to skim to the Good Parts.
All that said, you don't have to be Charles Dickens for me to read your e-mail. My only real requirements are spelling, grammar, and clarity, and even these get a lot of leeway.
I'd be glad to answer this, giving you loads of tips all about brevity being the soul of wit and so on and so forth, but alas, my hypocrisy does have it's bounds.
Personally, when I go through my posts to take out anything "unnecessary", they end up being widdled down to about 60%...and even then they still tend to go on and on. I suppose I should be following this thread for pointers myself. :D
Sidenote: it's funny to see if people address this question in as concise a fashion as humanly possible. But then again, that's just me.
As far as content, what you should be telling your clan imms:
-If you killed anyone, and the circumstances.
-Anyone who was recruited/left the clan, under your supervision.
-If you're doing something iffy, tell us why: i.e. selling info on your clan to someone else, going outside the gates when you're not supposed to, associating with people you shouldn't be, etc.
-Your PC's plans and goals, whether they are to take over the world, or just to make Sergeant.
-Anything you want to request to make your life easier, i.e. 'we could use some bludgeoning-type sparring weapons'.
You don't have to include everything in every email, just whatever's applicable. Personally, I'd rather have too much info than not enough, so feel free to include things that might seem trivial. Overall, however, a well-organized, easily readable report is best.
Another tip: some players seperate their reports into IC vs. OOC. IC stuff might be a report to your superior, if that superior is a (v)NPC. OOC stuff might be code/mechanics stuff like "the sparring dummy isn't coming out at the right times" or the sekrit stuff that ICly isn't known but you're briefing us on.
I think a good way of handling "trivial" information in emails is to mention it briefly and explain that you would be happy to elaborate upon request.
It's obvious that each staffer's preferences are different. Your best bet is to, when starting a leadership type role (or perhaps starting in that clan), ask the staffer what s/he prefers.
One thing that's pretty standard for all of us is that we like emails that are clear, and has some structure. If you write a rambling email that constantly goes off on tangents, or is badly written, or is incomplete, (these gives me a headache trying to decipher), it'll likely go unread.
-Ashyom
I used to write weekly updates on what my PC was experiencing..sometimes it would be just a "not much going on with her, she's bored but still alive and hanging out with this guy from the Byn" kinda thing.
I used to -also- send seperate notes as needed, whenever I had some actual need for an IMM - such as info on submitting objects, request for a new set of keys when I was playing a Nenyuk PC, help getting Noble X off my PC's back, etc. etc.
Eventually though I got kinda burnt out on sending e-mails so now I don't bother. If my PC needs something, I'll ask her boss. If my PC wants something, I'll have her try and earn it ICly or arrange for someone else to make it for her. If my PC gets in trouble, I'll deal with it ICly. And if she wants to take over the world, she'll do it on her own or fail on her own, using the appropriate "thinks" and "emotes" and whatever else it takes for her to succceed or die trying.
Now, when an IMM animates something or gets involved with my PC on my behalf, I know it's because they just plain want to, and not because I asked them to. It means a lot more to me this way, and hopefully they enjoy it more this way as well.
If you want concise posts and emails, write them up as you would typically do. Then go back and edit out the fat of the message, until only the bare bones of the message are left.
Practice, patience, and experience.
I used to be infamous for longwinded posts; reading thousands of other people's, and re-reading mine from months to years ago, has at least -helped- offer a better insight into what does (and does not) make a "good" post or email. Ironically, the tradeoff has been that my posts are "better," and much shorter, but it takes me longer to write them.
Go figure.
Meanwhile, keep a copy of everything you write. Once in a blue-mooned rainy day, pull out a few old ones and read them. Think about what you'd add, remove, or clarify, and WHY that is or isn't important given the audience you're writing for.
As far as emails to staff go.. think about what we need to know in your given circumstances. Most staff don't need or want to know every smidgeon of detail, but that depends on the specific situation. Generally, a summary (labeled as a summary) is enough, and we can ask for more as necessary.
-Savak
Ok, on first blush I have no buisness posting in this thread, but I actually do have a system for creating more concise messages.
When I care enough to spend 2 or 3 times as much time I can cut the length to 2/3 or 1/2 the usual size. First I write it in a word processor, not directly into the website or email program. Then I run a spell checker over it, and a grammer checker too when I have one. After correcting mistakes so obvious that even a computer program can detect them, I manually edit my message, snipping out anything non-essential. Then I put the message aside for a few hours, or over-night if possible. I try to come back at it with fresh eyes, and edit it again. After that it is a matter of cut&pasting it into the right venue, but since this usually messes up the formatting, then I have to spend a tedius few minutes adjusting the line lengths.
And after all that my messages are STILL long. To get them any shorter I have start cutting content, or else cutting the amusing side bits that make them my style. I don't like to do that. If I don't try for an amusing, folksy writing style I tend to come off as even more of an unbearably arrogant know-it-all, and that is just unpleasant. I don't like that person. It is ok for school or work, but not something I want to do in my leisure time.
In a pinch I can mannage a terse, abrupt writing style, but I usually save that for when I'm writing under a pseudonym. Nobody ever suspects that it is me! :twisted:
Angela Christine