Whose got big balls?

[Faglore]

As I was sitting in my AP econ class, I could not get my head off of one particular subject, who is this hobo and why is his hand in my pants... but then another thing dawned upon me... which race has the biggest wang? Clearly HG would be first, followed closely by a Faglore, but then what? Do elves have 13 inch penises? Do Dwarves look like they have 3 balls, one appearing to be overly swollen? And so on.

[Dan]

Surprislingly, Halflings only have one leg, the other... well...

[Marauder Moe]

Hung like a mek?

[creeper386]

If your going by length as being biggest. I'm guessing your best bet would be going on proportion with height, but I'd say that a long skinny elf penis wouldn't mean you are great in the sack.


Creeper

[Northlander]

*points to the not-yet-existing rules*
OOC forum.. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase..

[Dakkon Black]

I dont think this is OOC at all. This has a serious impact on how you play if you are gonne emote shot when you are naked. I would like to know how thier sizes match up.

-------->     Elf

===>     Human

==\
==/      Dwarf


============\
+++++++++++++}     Half-Giant
============/  

 

++++++}  Mul

(edit) Laazloth's suggestion for longer H-G Penis

[Lazloth]

You think an elf's penis is 2/3rd the length of an HG's?

[Faglore]

Hey guys, come in, this is not ooc chatter, I meant it as a real world-related question... though I admit I was high on the fumes of various oil products when I made it... I was serious.

[Sanvean]

I'll move it back, but if I see anyone starting to talk about their RL appendages, it's going back to OOC chatter.

[Tlaloc]

My only comment on this topic is:

Find out IC.

[Angela Christine]

My only comment on this topic is:

Find out IC.

But that's impossible!  In order to compare ICly the PCs in possession of the penises would have to know what is average for their race, and then decide how they compare to that average.  There aren't any guidlines in the docs, and there aren't many naked NPCs with enlightening full descriptions.  You can only find out IC if other PCs know the facts.  Even if I special apped a Templar with the goal of walking into the Gaj and ordering everyone to drop their trousers so I could measure, it wouldn't help unless all the PCs had a firm idea of what they had.

By the way, in North America the average length for a human is 5 to 5 1/2 inches, sorry, I can't remember average girth off the top of my head.  So if you want to modify from human averages based on height you are probably looking at 6-7 skinny inches for an elf, 10-12 massive inches for a half-giant, and 3-4 stubby inches for a dwarf.

AC

[Faglore]

Back in the ussr, and in the general discussion.

Gesht is god

[Faglore]

stubby inches AC

You are my hero.

[naatok]

Of all the primates, the human male is proud to spout off that he has the biggest brain.  Little comment is made upon the fact that the human male also has the largest penis of all the primates.

On Zalanthas, I agree that a half-giant would have the largest display of swingin' meat for a humanoid.

After that, I argue human, mul, elf, dwarf.

Muls and dwarves would have more girth, but less length typically.  Elves and humans should be comparible with humans slightly larger on the average.

Just my two 'sid.

Gods, why are we even discussing this?!  Is it gonna add up to some sort of IC relevancy?   :evil:

[Lazloth]

Gods, why are we even discussing this?!  Is it gonna add up to some sort of IC relevancy?

I don't see why it shouldn't.  Any breeder or trader of slave or indentured laborer has no doubt come across the premise of a pleasure servant, or should!

Regarding your opinion, naatok, I am in agreement.  As alluded, elves possibly with less girth, but generally the same proportions as their human counters.  I think the HG will completely dwarf any other applicants to this strange pissing contest, though.

[X-D]

On the half-giants, I just got a kick out of somebody saying around 12"


Snicker.

Consider, ave human male 5'7" 180lbs and what is it, 5 1/4" penis length, Alright, now, Half-giant, 12-15' tall 1800-2500lbs thats 2-3 times taller and 10 times heavier...Heh, do to overall girth and muscle mass, I don't think 12 inches would even work, Take into consideration the size of penis on most earth mammals of near the same size. (Large horses, cattle etc)

So, I'd think a range of 20-36" length and 6-8" diameter.


Remember Half-giants are MASSIVE, stands to reason that would also be termed massive:)

Besides, there is a fair number of humans with 12"plus.

[The7DeadlyVenomz]

Good God! 20-36 inchs? Holy...

[Angela Christine]

Gods, why are we even discussing this?!

Because Faglore is a perv.

Is it gonna add up to some sort of IC relevancy?  

Yes indeedy.  Suppose someone of another race hits on you, and you want to add some racial slurs to your brush off.  In order to properly enumerate the cad's probable shortcommings, you need to know what things that race is known for.

On the half-giants, I just got a kick out of somebody saying around 12"

Snicker.

Consider, ave human male 5'7" 180lbs and what is it, 5 1/4" penis length, Alright, now, Half-giant, 12-15' tall 1800-2500lbs thats 2-3 times taller and 10 times heavier...Heh, do to overall girth and muscle mass, I don't think 12 inches would even work, Take into consideration the size of penis on most earth mammals of near the same size. (Large horses, cattle etc)

So, I'd think a range of 20-36" length and 6-8" diameter.

But they aren't cattle, they are primates.  If humans males are about 5 1/2 feet tall, and 5 1/2 inches long, you could expect about one inch per foot as a starting point.

Assuming that carries over to the other humanoids, you would expect a 12 to 15 foot tall humanoid to be 12 to 15 inches long, maybe a bit more.  Usually not more than 20 though, except for the occasional half-giant porn star.  (Now there's a porno flick you don't want to see).  As for girth, yeah, I expect most other races would need both hands to give a HG a hand job.  A mantis might need to use three or four hands.  

AC

[X-D]

Except you are not including mass, I used massive animals as an example more for mechanics then anything, you look a 2 animals, even primates who are each basicly 1 ton of muscle, 12 inches simply is not going to work, sorry.

Specialy if you consider due to sheer mass and weight, many positions are really going to be off limits for a half-giant because it would be very uncomfertable or even hazardess, Large animals have to be rather careful during copulation and none of them support the full weight of the other.

Also, in my prior post, I calculated it as 2 times taller and ten times heavier so, 5 times larger over all, this would include every part of a half-giant, so, ave length for HG should be around 25 inches, I gave the range because normal human range is from 4-8 inches.

[Angela Christine]

Except you are not including mass,

I figured mass would affect girth more than length.  As many surprised teenagers could tell you, the penis doesn't have to get very far into the vagina for her to get pregnant.  In fact, as some completely shocked teenagers could tell you, the penis doesn't have to penetrate the vagina at all all.  As long as you spurt in the right general area you can get lucky in the baby lottery.  In humans, a guy with a 2 or 3 inch penis will have no trouble getting the job done.  He might not be as much fun, but is adequate for procreation purposes.

I see no way of resolving this with the information on hand.  To the Ask the Staff Forum!

Maybe not.

AC

[Lord Templar Hardnose]

This seemed like a completely stupid and waste of time thread.

But I think I've just found a new use for Half-Giant soldiers  :twisted: (within the bounds of the consent rule of course ). No halflings better piss me off  :twisted:

[Bestatte]

Welcome back Hardnose!!!

[Stroker]

This seemed like a completely stupid and waste of time thread.

Not only have you read and posted here, but you have also gained new erotic fantasies to keep you warm on the many cold, lonely nights.

[Anarchy]

Besides, there is a fair number of humans with 12"plus.

Dear god, you keep any male with 12" plus MILES away from me - assuming as much they can even get it up. The blood needed would be way too much, if they did manage to get it up, they would faint, seriously.

I worked at a strip bar and there was a guy with a 12" penis who could not get it up, was rather amusing to watch him, the most he could do was dance with it, or dunk it in peoples drinks, but it never became hard. So i find it hard to think there is a fair number of humans with a 12" penis, if it was true the human race would becomes extince.

Half giants would be in the range of 20 to 30 inches long and about 6-8 inches thick.

[Angela Christine]

Dear god, you keep any male with 12" plus MILES away from me - assuming as much they can even get it up. The blood needed would be way too much, if they did manage to get it up, they would faint, seriously.

I worked at a strip bar and there was a guy with a 12" penis who could not get it up, was rather amusing to watch him, the most he could do was dance with it, or dunk it in peoples drinks, but it never became hard. So i find it hard to think there is a fair number of humans with a 12" penis, if it was true the human race would becomes extince.

He was probably "enhanced".  

There is a surgery that can give you a couple extra inches, well, appear to give you a couple extra inches.  The cut through some of the connective tissue, so you dangle lower and -look- bigger.  The trade off is that even with a really good erection you dangle, you can't point "up" because you don't have all your support structure anymore.  Dumb, but basically harmless.

More insidious are the vacume pumps.  You've seen the ads: you stick your penis in the tube, and then pump all the air out, and the vacume naturally causes blood to fill the blood sinuses in the penis.  You get thicker and longer than you would with a regular errection, but the effect is temporary.  If you get a little pump happy you can over-fill those sinuses, and break them like over-filled water ballons.  What does this mean?  You wind up with a nice, big, spongy penis.  You'll never get a good hard erection again, but damn you look impressive.  :roll:

A guy working in the sex or stripping industries might have tried either or both.  Short term gain for long-term ... dissapointment.  

Be happy with what you've got, as far as I know there isn't a really good way to "improve" your penis.  Most surgical options can lead to some loss of sensation, which kind of misses the point.  Prolonging creams also work because they are a topical anesthetic, you last longer because your penis is numb.  Yay, that sounds fun.  Oh, and be as scrawny as you can manage, and I'm not just saying that because I like girly men, bodybuilding will just make your penis look smaller compared to all those bulgy muscles.  :twisted:

Err...this is drifting off topic.  Um, I wonder if Zalanthas has penis vacume pumps?  The technology is fairly simple, I'm sure something could be rigged up with bone, wood or stone tubes and raptor bladders.

AC

[X-D]

First, Again I have to refer to earth animals, but girth does not seem to be affected much by the overall size of the mammal, a humpback whale may have a penis 11 feet long, but it's around 10 inches diameter, also, true, it only takes a single sperm wiggling it's way up so, not much actually has to get inside, but nature tends to want to improve the odds, the two most common methods are, #1 get closer to the egg, this means a longer penis, and this also goes in a competative sense in that a female may have sex with one male and a short time later another, the first one has a time advantage, but sperm are tiny and can't move very far in say an hour, so, if the second male is able to get his guys 1" farther then the first, they may be in the lead.

The second method is just to produce HUGE amounts of sperm and semen, this is a method that seems to be an attempt at washing the compatitions out and still getting yours as close as possible with overwhelming numbers.


Lord templar hardnose's comment reminded me of something that should go on strange urges thread but I'm gonna put it here.

Always wanted a human raider with a HG partner.

l
Some room:
A dark cloaked figure stands here,
A grinning one-eyed half-giant stands behind a dark cloaked figure.

A dark cloaked figure tells the burly human hunter:"Hand over your sids an weapons or ya gonna be fucked."

The burly human hunter exclaims "Fuck off, I ain't given you shit!"

A dark cloaked figure tell the burly human hunter:" Suite yourself."

A dark cloaked figure nods to a grinning one-eyed half-giant.

A grinning one-eyed half-giant subdues the burly human hunter despite his struggles.

The grinning one-eyed half-giants loincloth begins to rise as his massive member begins to rise.

A dark cloaked figure tells the burly human hunter as he cuts the laces holding the burly human hunters leggings up: "I told you ya was gonna get fucked"

[Lazloth]

ave human male .. what is it, 5 1/4" penis length

The average length of an erect penis is 5.9 inches. (Warning! Link may be NSFW and minors.[/i])  What is interesting is half of all men are between 5.25 and 6.25 inches.  The average girth or circumference of an erect penis was about 5.0 inches. About 75% of men were between 4.5 and 5.5 inches in girth size.

Don't you cheat me my fraction!

He was probably "enhanced".

That's not necessarily true.  

There are countless celebrities and regular Joes that exceed the average without the need to enhance.  I won't get into the 9"-12" argument, but cinematic porn's most famous male star, John Holmes, was measured with an erect penis of 13 inches. (For added info, he had sex with more than ten thousand women).

All of this is detracting from our original point, and I will return with some quick calcs soon!

[Angela Christine]

ave human male .. what is it, 5 1/4" penis length

The average length of an erect penis is 5.9 inches. (Warning! Link may be NSFW and minors.[/i])  What is interesting is half of all men are between 5.25 and 6.25 inches.

Don't you cheat me my fraction!

Who is cheating who?  If you are a guy with a 5.7 inch member, would you rather think you were a little above average or a little below average?

He was probably "enhanced".

That's not necessarily true.  

There are countless celebrities and regular Joes that exceed the average without the need to enhance.  I won't get into the 9"-12" argument, but cinematic porn's most famous male star, John Holmes, was measured with an erect penis of 13 inches. (For added info, he had sex with more than ten thousand women).

Yeah, there are also guys whose penises are so small they are nearly indistinguishable from a clit, guys who have three nipples, and guys who have 6 toes.  Freaks of nature happen regularily, but they are still unusual.  To me a large penis that can't hold an erection sounds like the dammage that come come from misusing vacume pumps and cock rings.  Sure, it could be natural too.  I'm certainly no expert on penises.  

AC