Why is monogamy so common?

[Hauwke]

Having a sexual partner, does not necessitate being in a relationship, or even the rearing of children in any way, shape or form.

[ShaLeah]

My opinion that monogamy shouldn't be the norm has come from THIS helpfile which states:
Given that Zalanthas is a place with broad attitudes towards sexuality, it is common to see Zalanthans have multiple sex partners.

Would like to point out that the statement "polygamy is common" does not necessitate "polygamy is the most common" and further, neither of those statements necessitates "monogamy is uncommon."

Polygamy isn't mentioned at ALL. Polygamy is having more than one spouse.
Semantics matter. If having multiple sexual partners is common then anything other than that is less common. Definition matters.  It should matter more than interpretation. When everyone thinks definitions are subject to interpretation everyone can see things different.  Like the dress thing or the laurel thing.

So for shits and giggles!

com·mon
ˈkämən/Submit
adjective
1.
occurring, found, or done often; prevalent.
"salt and pepper are the two most common seasonings"
synonyms:   usual, ordinary, familiar, regular, frequent, recurrent, everyday; More


def·i·ni·tion
ˌdefəˈniSH(ə)n/Submit
noun
1.
a statement of the exact meaning of a word, especially in a dictionary.



in·ter·pre·ta·tion
inˌtərprəˈtāSH(ə)n/Submit
noun
the action of explaining the meaning of something.
"the interpretation of data"
synonyms:   explanation, elucidation, expounding, exposition, explication, exegesis, clarification More
an explanation or way of explaining.
plural noun: interpretations
"this action is open to a number of interpretations"
synonyms:   meaning, understanding, construal, connotation, explanation, inference
"they argued over interpretation"
a stylistic representation of a creative work or dramatic role.
"two differing interpretations, both bearing the distinctive hallmarks of each writer's perspective"
synonyms:   rendition, rendering, execution, presentation, performance, portrayal

[Delirium]

https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-the-difference-between-polyamory-and-polygamy-2171552

[Harmless]

when people get butthurt that my PC refused their advances and there happened to be another partner recently, they start filing player complaints that I am inappropriately monogamous.

Unfortunately, it's just your PC my PC is refusing. My PC has other side-bitches that they just didn't tell you about.

[WithSprinkles]

People complaint over that? MULTIPLE people? An IG relationship isn't a hostage situation. I'm going to just leave it at that.

[sleepyhead]

How did you know about the complaints? I thought that staff didn't tell people when they get player complaints, especially when they're unfounded like that.

[Is Friday]

How did you know about the complaints? I thought that staff didn't tell people when they get player complaints, especially when they're unfounded like that.

That's because it's BS.

[Malifaxis]

Seems like someone's pretty thirsty.

Here ya go, a harmless glass of water.



The most likely reason that I see for there being a massive amount of pro-monogamy people is simply due to the fact that that is, for now, the Earth cultural norm.  For some reason, even though we can sidestep other simple things like "reality" and "bugs the size of Volkswagens," people seem to cling to this last concept.  For some people, it's about knowing someone has your back above all others.  For other people, it is about control of the other person in the relationship. 

Stepping away from reality to shovel shit for several hours seems easier for people to step away from their cultural comfy blanket of "You are mine."

[WithSprinkles]

"You are mine." can be really interesting to act out if you feel like pouring energy into that sort of story and dealing with the inherent stuff that could come with it. Done right, it can be go from subtle everyday manipulations, to "My character is literally traveling the Known and jumping at shadows trying to get away from an obsessed person that KEEPS finding them."

Basically, if you offer someone a 'tasty cupcake' and they turn it down, offer it to someone else. Don't club them with a rolling pin and try to drag them into your bakeshop. It's a cupcake. Someone will want it if you offer it nicely. (shrugs) If you get turned down for romance RP, find another character to flirt with that shares your play style and everyone can keep having fun.

[ShaLeah]

Mali is mine.

https://youtu.be/8fvTxv46ano

[Strongheart]

As with any relationship, in-game or otherwise, those who are paired typically come up with certain limits. If your character is someone inclined to have multiple partners then they are to free to stay with those who do the same, just as those who prefer a single partner should also do the same. It isn't against the docs for your character to feel indifferent to a single partner let alone multiple unless you are playing a role that says otherwise, and even then it is still your character. If there is shame given out either way, shame on those who feel that they must do that.

We can settle this without devaluing anyone's opinion on the matter, and I think that we can all agree that we are here to make experiences that we consider to be fun. Monogamy, polygamy, or snu-snu givers... it doesn't matter! Just play your character how you feel it should be played and try to adhere to the guidelines that are enforced.

[X-D]

Never had a monogamous PC.....have I had PCs with more then one relationship at a time? Nope. Why because one is all I the player have time for. I bet that is a consideration for many players and that it is simply easier to claim to be monogamous then to find some other way to explain IC that 1 relationship takes up 30% of my arming time....why would I add more? Well maybe not hard to do IC I suppose...but the results are the same.

[tapas]

My best charitable guess is that very few players have the experiences to draw upon alternative forms of relationships or sexuality so they tend to avoid them. Or it's even just easier to slip into the mold you already fit into while role playing.

And I'd venture it's harder to play a character as alternative sexually without getting some sort of unwanted attention from other characters. Positive or negative.

[boog]

Nobody is monogamous in Zalanthas. Y'all are trippin'.

[Strongheart]

... I can't believe we're still talking about this. Probably shouldn't have ever been brought up to begin with lol

Nobody is monogamous in Zalanthas. Y'all are trippin'.

Thanks for adding more trash to the garbage fire

[boog]

You're welcome.

[Tuannon]

I went on a long rant about whether I 'scene' or not, then I realized this thread is about monogamy. Which I would think has been beaten enough with the investigation stick.

[Dar]

I remember playing this different RP enforced game. In there, the practice of adoption was a very common occurance. When an old, established, powerful character adopts a younger, recently created, less codedly/influence powerful characters. These connections were created and dissolved at a whim, often over silly drama reasons. To a point where it eventually devalued the concept.

Some poor soul asked my character to adopt her. I stayed away from that practice, but then my assholeness kicked in.

I agreed and poured quiet a bit of effort into helping my new found daughter. And theeeeeeen, I had some asshole fun . I got controlling. Insisting on weakly family dinners. I began scaring away her romantic interests. At some point provoking an entire war betweeen houses by staging a shotgun wedding. The daughter tried fo dissolve the adoption, but nuh uh! Family is family, my dear child. You dont choose it. Now, I heard this man has shown you dishonest intentions. I will have him flogged.

It was fun!

Sometimes being unreasonably controlling could be fun.

[crymerci]

The idea that a woman wants her man's resources on Zalanthas screams real world bullshit cause on Zalanthas men and women are equal, women don't need men's resources,  they have their own.

Think about it for a while. You have people in Allanak starving on the streets. You have run down children who are wearing rags ready to fall off of them.

Do they seem like the product of successful, strong, independent womyn?

Clearly their mother and father together are having trouble providing for them. Single parents are going to have it even worse.

EDIT: Successful single mothers are a luxury of a highly productive, technological society, with either the ex paying support or the government subsidizing them. You won't find family courts or SNAP cards on Zalanthas.

There have always been "single" mothers. It's just that they were generally called "widows". And they were usually poor and depended on charity or extended family. But they could survive without remarriage.

[daughterofauset]

The only real reason my chars tend toward monogamous open relationships over good old multiple partners (as in, not lovers, but romantic partners) is because on many or most apartments you can only put two people on a least, and I have no desire to deal with the code limitation ICly, that you can't have a throuple/triad on a lease in most places.

[Dar]

The only real reason my chars tend toward monogamous open relationships over good old multiple partners (as in, not lovers, but romantic partners) is because on many or most apartments you can only put two people on a least, and I have no desire to deal with the code limitation ICly, that you can't have a throuple/triad on a lease in most places.

Everyone knows that any group of three, or more, comprised of Zalanthanians is called Murder.

[Heade]

The only real reason my chars tend toward monogamous open relationships over good old multiple partners (as in, not lovers, but romantic partners) is because on many or most apartments you can only put two people on a least, and I have no desire to deal with the code limitation ICly, that you can't have a throuple/triad on a lease in most places.

This is a good point, and really doesn't promote the idea of multiple partners. Maybe the cap on people leased to an apartment should be universally raised by 1 if they want to promote this sort of thing.

[only_plays_tribals]

Prediction: multi-partner relationships cohabitating apartments discover inventory management is now, foreplay

Code Select Expand


>remove leggings
You can't carry that many items.

>put leggings bed
There's no more room for that here.

>put leggings backpack
A dusty leather backpack doesn't have enough room left for a pair of leggings.

You say, in sirihish, "We could just cuddle?"

[Strongheart]

Aww <3 das cute

[Bebop]

Honestly WTH does this matter so much?  I like the idea of tribal relationships and I like the idea of trust being the most limited resources and having a life bound mate.  Why would this happen?  The same reason Houses have life sworn servants who can't leave without grave consequences.  Because people are a resource and trust is scarce.  Let people play how they want.  Everyone has a different play style and every character is different. 

Everyone needs to stop trying to act smug.  No good can come from taking your OOC interpretation and preferences and trying to enforce them upon every player, every character that person plays and every romantic relationship those characters engage in.  They are both IG.  They are both socially common and accepted IG.  Nothing needs to change. 

Okay.  Good.  Play how you want.  Have fun.