Write the worst mdesc

[Beethoven]

I'm trying to perfect the worst mdesc ever, and I thought it'd be funny to make a game of it. Share your own!

"This is a giant dwarf, the biggest one you have ever seen.  His beard is bigger than your head.  He wears a white headband that says his name, THERIN ORKENSHIELD, in big red letters.  His arms are buff and strong and he has an eight-pack.  There are women all around him touching his abs and the names of all the women he has had sex with are tattooed on his chest in dwarvish.  He is wearing a shiny suit of Viking armor.  He looks at you and waves his big spiky steel club that he got from his father which has killed 1000 orcs and is stained with their blood.  You love him."

[valeria]

Sdesc:
the stringy-haired, slender dude

Mdesc:
He's just some dude, man.

[Kankfly]

Sdesc:
the stringy-haired, slender dude

Mdesc:
He's just some dude, man.

You didn't say whether he's booblicious or not.

[nauta]

sdesc:
the flaxen-haired emerald-eyed woman

mdesc:
You see before
skills
who
quit
exit
`
`

[TheWanderer]

sdesc:
the commendably sexy man

mdesc:
This is a tall, muscular man. He is sexy but not so sexy that it's jarring. But he's still sexy. Sexy enough that you certainly wouldn't be opposed to a date, but not so sexy that you'd spring for sex the moment your eyes make contact... except sometimes.

[Beethoven]

This is a huge demon with bat wings. You tremble in fear of him because he is a huge demon. His glowing yellow eyes penetrate your soul. His claws are huge too and also super sharp, like really long knives. He has fangs that are dripping with blood from a fresh kill. (His claws also have blood dripping from them.) Suddenly, he pulls out your beating heart from your chest and you die! Haha!

The tall, muscular man is in excellent condition.

[path]

I love this game.

the grandiose, mustachioed gentleman

Here stands a gentleman of glorious bearing, ever so softly caressing the oil-slicked curls of his grandiose mustaches. His bombtastic trench coat is made of the blackest of black leather (super black. It basically EATS light. It's like a black hole, only way moreso. It also seems to be devouring a small chicken and that beer can. My...what big teeth it has), harvested from silky lamb fetuses and dyed that impossible hue with rare ink from some kind of ocean animal that ONLY bearded mermen can kill. Wow. You feel a deepening respect for him as you read this plausible description. He really seems an all-about decent chap, and a delicious thrill courses through you as you notice he's now inspecting your chest with a lascivious smirk.

[whitt]

You feel a deepening respect for him as you read this plausible description.

lol

[Pale Horse]

Wasn't there once a giant dick approved by a sleep-deprived Staffer?

[Malken]

One of my last characters had a tattoo of "dickbutt" pretty well described in 3+ lines or so at the end of his desc and it was accepted, so that was pretty awesome.

"The only distinct mark on
his left shoulder is a childishly tattooed depiction of the male
reproductive organ turned into a humanoid of sort, with facial features on
the tip of it and a big goofy smile.  The whole drawing is very amateurishly
designed and inked, with dark red spots and a rash surrounding the area."

[Iiyola]

Reminds me of this NPC I once saw.

The big titted exotic sexy woman

This woman has huge tits, and a slender figure. TITS. and seductive lips DID I MENTION TITS?? Her delicate frame looks so sexy and DID I MENTION HER TITS? Her lashes are so long and dark and her TITS ARE YUUUUGE LIKE MELONS.

[Beethoven]

Reminds me of this NPC I once saw.

The big titted exotic sexy woman

This woman has huge tits, and a slender figure. TITS. and seductive lips DID I MENTION TITS?? Her delicate frame looks so sexy and DID I MENTION HER TITS? Her lashes are so long and dark and her TITS ARE YUUUUGE LIKE MELONS.

Haha, I know the one you're talking about. But I said worst mdesc, not best.

[seidhr]

We have a thread on the staff board that is all rejected (and funny) applications, generally from new players who don't know what they're getting into.  There are some gems.

[Desertman]

We have a thread on the staff board that is all rejected (and funny) applications, generally from new players who don't know what they're getting into.  There are some gems.

Give us some of the goodies Sir.

Plz?

[RogueGunslinger]

We have a thread on the staff board that is all rejected (and funny) applications, generally from new players who don't know what they're getting into.  There are some gems.

Give us some of the goodies Sir.

Plz?

Yessssssssssss.

[seidhr]

Apparently they've been posted here in the past and someone got upset and thought it wasn't newbie friendly.   

[BadSkeelz]

It kind of isn't.

[Desertman]

We were all newbies once and we all submitted apps at some point or another most likely where we would look back now and laugh at ourselves. I once wrote up Fitz Chivalry from the Farseer books. I even named him Chivalry. What a doofus.

If you can't laugh at yourself, then go fuck yourself. (That's a general "you", not aimed at anyone specific.)

[solera]

Reminds me of this NPC I once saw.

The big titted exotic sexy woman

This woman has huge tits, and a slender figure. TITS. and seductive lips DID I MENTION TITS?? Her delicate frame looks so sexy and DID I MENTION HER TITS? Her lashes are so long and dark and her TITS ARE YUUUUGE LIKE MELONS.

That was an NPC?!   I put in a complaint over her. I assumed she was a product of a bot+ sleep deprived staffer. 

[Desertman]

Reminds me of this NPC I once saw.

The big titted exotic sexy woman

This woman has huge tits, and a slender figure. TITS. and seductive lips DID I MENTION TITS?? Her delicate frame looks so sexy and DID I MENTION HER TITS? Her lashes are so long and dark and her TITS ARE YUUUUGE LIKE MELONS.

That was an NPC?!   I put in a complaint over her. I assumed she was a product of a bot+ sleep deprived staffer. 

Just let me ass bang her already. Jeez. I am her destiny.

[Lizzie]

>The woman is here.

look woman

Hi. I'm Lizzie. I'm a woman. I look like me. I have some hair and it has a length and some color
to it. My skin stretches over my bones. I have some muscles under my skin. About my height,
well I'm not very tall and I'm not really short. Just kind of tall, in a sort of short way. So, limbs
I have four. Two legs, two arms. There are also hands and feet in the usual places. If you want
to find out about my bitchin body, find out IC. You can assume when you read this description
that I'm wearing clothes unless I append nakedness with a tdesc.

[bardlyone]

the q

q

[SuchDragonWow]

the bodaciously buxom and blue-eyed beauty

From a distance, you would guess this woman is an 10.  She has curves in all the right places.  Upon closer inspection, you realize she's an 8.  Wait, nevermind, your glasses are fogged, you nerd.  She's a fucking 11!  Wowwowow!

[boog]

GLASSES WERE RETCONNED.

Get with the program, SDW! :p <3

[SuchDragonWow]

sunslits are sandy*

Whew, good call.  That almost ruined it.