How to make the GDB more welcoming?

[evilcabbage]

nah. there is no need to be mean.

if you have nothing nice to say to someone, or a way to correct them in a nice way, just don't post. at all.

for instance, your post was not in a good way.

you could have just said, "maybe clans are hopping. maybe you're off-peak, like i am, in which case it's hard to find anyone at these hours because most people are in the u.s."

instead, you posted on the assumption that they were off-peak (they later expressed that, apparently, they are not), and you had just interpreted what they said and made a post that - to them - was vaguely aggressive. they responded as such, and you responded even more aggressively.

you don't need to call someone a whiner. or be condescending.


that's the problem with the gdb that everyone talks about. we have people who are condescending, who call people whiners, who are just -generally- mean, and this has become an acceptable "norm". it is not acceptable, however. it is not called for. if you have nothing to contribute to the discussion of how to make the gdb more welcoming (by not calling people dingbats or suggesting that you have to be mean to correct someone for a 'knowledge deficit' or 'poor attitude'), then please do not post in this thread.


see what i did there?

[Synthesis]

I don't think it's some radically extreme assumption to guess that someone is posting on the GDB at the same general times they are playing the game.  I was wrong about that, in this case, but it's not some character flaw.  It's a pretty reasonable assumption, actually.  That post was not rude at all.  I was commiserating and being sympathetic to another player who I guessed was also playing single-player mode.

Then, they accused me of being a dick about it, so, you know...I shut that shit down, because I'm not going to let crybabies make me out to be some kind of monstrous persona when I didn't do anything wrong.

The problem is that people calling for calmness and niceness always sort of win the rhetorical game, because everyone likes calm and nice, so once you claim that high ground (no matter how wrong you are), it forces everyone else into an uphill battle to prove that HEY, WE'RE CALM AND NICE, TOO.

Even when calmness and niceness aren't necessarily warranted.

And yes, sometimes there is a need to be mean.  Or at least, to do things that would be mean when taken out of context.  So, for example, when the butt-hurt brigade comes around and starts complaining about people being mean...you know what? Fuck that shit.  This community is working just fine, and has been working just fine for two decades, and if you can't find a place in it to fit in without feeling like you're being persecuted...we're not the problem, you are.

[Delirium]

You've both said your piece.

Let's go back to making the GDB a more welcoming place.

A little care in one's choice of phrasing goes a long way.

Let's not make the mods step in on this thread. While I would find it hilariously ironic, it would also make baby ginka sad.

[Molten Heart]

I've likely been one of the bigger offenders but this seems appropriate:


As for those who seem angry and agitated it's often not because of the poster they may be interacting with but probably because of some other problem we may know nothing about. In these cases it's best avoid taking it personally.

I think trying to understand the message others are putting out there is more important than trying to correct them. And it's okay to disagree but when we become disagreeable it leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

[Refugee]

Well and wisely said, Molten Heart.

[nauta]

Is it bad that I'm going to use that message on the poster during my next mudsex scene?  Or is it awesome?

[Malken]

Is it bad that I'm going to use that message on the poster during my next mudsex scene?  Or is it awesome?

Hopefully your partner will be Molten Heart!

[Molten Heart]

Is it bad that I'm going to use that message on the poster during my next mudsex scene?  Or is it awesome?

Hopefully your partner will be Molten Heart!

If I could only be this lucky.

[James de Monet]

I'd like to interject here that while I do agree that consideration in posting is usually the better route (especially when addressing new people), I think it's important that we not stifle people's freedom of expression overmuch.  Sure, one person ripping on the game, the staff, and everyone is clearly more destructive than not.  But one person venting about something or another openly every once in a while is healthy.  It keeps the community honest, and allows people to relax here.  It's a game about brutal people living in a brutal world, after all.  If we were playing Candy Crush the RPG, we could probably play language police without endangering our game, but not here, as much.

[evilcabbage]

venting is one thing. if you want to vent and be angry, do it in your own thread. don't go into someone elses thread (especially one titled how to be MORE welcoming), and then be an incorrigible dick. that's just unfair.

[BadSkeelz]

The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!


Sorry, watching Walter Sobchak clips. People need to take stuff less seriously and cut back on the negativity.

[Dresan]

With the recent changes, and this current discussion I thought we'd take a look at this thread:

http://gdb.armageddon.org/index.php/topic,46432.0.html

There was another discussion that was going on not too long ago, that got so toxic Nessalin had to delete several posts just to keep it civil. Half the problem stems from the fact people don't realize how utterly negative or just out right jerks they are being, and the other half stems from the fact that even if they do realize it, they have been around long enough to get away with such crap.

The most common reason for negativity is usually when someone presents an idea. This game has people who are so against change and its been this way for so long that I don't think its every going to change. They are quick to just attack, belittle or just try to drive away, the above link being a good example.

The people here haven't changed in years and years, and they won't change now. Luckily for newbies, there is more awareness and staff eventually do step in to moderate.  Again people can mostly expect negativity and attacks when trying to present an idea or aguement, so be ready to defend yourself with well thought out posts. And if you have an idea, the link above should inspire you to present it and not give up or back down to any level of toxicity here.  

[evilcabbage]

man i was an unforgivable asshole in that thread.

i am so sorry guys.

[burble]

My suggestion is that you stop the GDB hate cycles.

Years ago there was a "we have tavern sitters" hate cycle. When I'd see a tavern sitter in the game I'd wonder why you guys were trying to make this person feel like crap? It doesn't hurt you that someone mostly wants to sit in taverns and rp that. It's not the game I like to play but I'd make a point to stop by if someone was hanging around in taverns just to rp a bit.

I remember the GDB piling on the indies. There was an indy merchant in Tuluk, obviously his first character, probably had way too much sid, very successful, multiple apartments. I was only on the periphery of that guy's story but I don't understand why people like that bother you GDB people so much. His story did not hurt anyone. He took nothing from anyone. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to steal from the guy or shake him down in the game, you get on the GDB and now it's gone so far as to now have a Nenyuk tax. There's no rp in that.

What else - mudsex, too friendly with X class/race, I'm sure I'm missing a few. These things don't pop out of the blue - you see someone in the game and you try to control their behavior by posting on the GDB. If it doesn't break the rules, just let people play their game. Learn to live and let live or, more IC, let grow fat and then pk.

[Rokal]

My suggestion is that you stop the GDB hate cycles.

Years ago there was a "we have tavern sitters" hate cycle. When I'd see a tavern sitter in the game I'd wonder why you guys were trying to make this person feel like crap? It doesn't hurt you that someone mostly wants to sit in taverns and rp that. It's not the game I like to play but I'd make a point to stop by if someone was hanging around in taverns just to rp a bit.

I remember the GDB piling on the indies. There was an indy merchant in Tuluk, obviously his first character, probably had way too much sid, very successful, multiple apartments. I was only on the periphery of that guy's story but I don't understand why people like that bother you GDB people so much. His story did not hurt anyone. He took nothing from anyone. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to steal from the guy or shake him down in the game, you get on the GDB and now it's gone so far as to now have a Nenyuk tax. There's no rp in that.

What else - mudsex, too friendly with X class/race, I'm sure I'm missing a few. These things don't pop out of the blue - you see someone in the game and you try to control their behavior by posting on the GDB. If it doesn't break the rules, just let people play their game. Learn to live and let live or, more IC, let grow fat and then pk.

Highfive, man. Well said.

[Case]

I'm only going to post nicely now. *


*excluding the OOC political threads

[nauta]

I'm only going to post naughtily now.

[Lukoyin]

I'm only going to post naughtily now.

Wrong kind of welcoming. 

[Case]

I'm only going to post naughtily now.

You can naughty me any time you want

[Majikal]

I'm only going to post naughtily now.

You can naughty me any time you want

Can I watch you both be naughty?