destruction of steinal -- Tek (i am a hilurd, ama)

[hilurd tektolnes]

ok heres the deal, its been more than 1 year so im posting the logs from when i got pissed and blew up steinal 4 the lulz

The mighty Tektolnes is here, draped in power and splendor because he rocks.

He is wearing a cloak of pure awesome.
He is damn fine.

>score

Your are Tektolnes, of many people (type 'tribes' to see your subjugated people).
Keywords: Tektolnes Tek Godzilla Lt. Awesomesauce
Sdesc: the mighty Tektolnes
Objective: branch
Long description: Code Generated Long Description.
You are older than everyone else, which by your race is old (but by appearance you look pretty damn fine).
You are tall, dark, and handsome.
Your strength is absolutely incredible, your agility is absolutely incredible,
your wisdom is absolutely incredible, and your endurance is absolutely incredible.

You are currently speaking sirihish with a Highlord accent.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"lol guys ok so how do u liek my new desc? i kept emailin teh staff till they changed it"

The black-robed templar says, out-of-character:
"Dude use ooc for ooc stuff please"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"dude fuck off"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"i have shit to do"

The mighty Tektolnes waves his hand and utters an incantation.
The black-robed templar disappears in a flash of light, leaving a pile of ash on the ground.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"lol"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"guess I better get another"

The mighty Tektolnes sends this message to the staff:
"hey guys I just vape'd a blackrobe, pls put up a new call on the bbs for one, tks"

The mighty Tektolnes checks out his profile in a small obsidian mirror.

The mighty Tektolnes wishes he had a command to express how awesome he looks right now.

A human Allanaki lackey has arrived from below.

A human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"Highlord! Steinal has attacked our forces and...practically routed them!"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"dude wtf, you didn't bow or anything"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"i need to get better lackeys, you guys all suck"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"noobs"

The mighty Tektolnes is gone a bit, gotta send off mail to complain about this noob.

The mighty Tektolnes is back.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"aight sorry bout that, go ahead"

A human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"They beat our forces off, but we should be able to retaliate, Highlord."

The mighty Tektolnes rolls on the floor, laughing hysterically.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"haha"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"you said beat off"

The mighty Tektolnes puts on his serious cat face.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"ok srsly, let's do something about this"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"did we post a call for an rpt?"

The human Allanaki lackey says, out-of-character:
"man you really need to differentiate between IC and OOC"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"im sorry"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"i cant hear you over my root access to ginka"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"continue"

The human Allanaki lackey says, out-of-character:
"they had some kind of RPT already scheduled today. some steinal party or something, a victory"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"let's kick some ass then"

The human Allanaki lackey says, out-of-character:
"dude we can't go crash someone else's RPT"

The human Allanaki lackey says, out-of-character:
"that's bad form"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"Valasaurus must be extincted, as i am sure you know"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"send our army to wipe out the city of Steinal"

The human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"Highlord, we do not have an army. Steinal wiped it out."

The human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"Many of my friends within the militia have lost their lives. They went out to war at your command and gave their lives to the cause. We are recruiting more, but..."

The human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"...it will take a long time before we can really field the amount of soldiers we had. Our forces are cut in half. We have to leave some here to defend our city..."

The human Allanaki lackey says, in southern-accented sirihish,
"...or we might face some risk."

The mighty Tektolnes has lost link.
The mighty Tektolnes has reconnected.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"sry, missed that"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"look it doesnt matter ill go deal with it"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"keep the light on muthafucka"

The mighty Tektolnes waves his hand and utters an incantation.
The mighty Tektolnes disappears from view!

----------

A Massive Square
Crenellated granite and baobab balconies protruded from both the
northern and southern sides of the square, heavy canvas draped over them to keep the nobility and the highest-ranked merchants of Steinal in the shade.

Valasurus is here, addressing a lot of people.
A lot of people are here, adoring Valasurus.

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"My people, last week, our armies collided with the forces of Allanak near their black walls. I urged you to support our army's endeavor, and it has..."

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
...succeeded in a strategic victory that I must report to you:
we have routed Allanak's fighting forces!"

Everyone cheers.

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"You have heard the reports of tribes taking back land stolen by the conquering rulers, Tektolnes and Muk Utep. These are not rumors; they are facts proven..."

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"...by our own exceptional display of tactics in this, the first battle of the War between Allanak and Steinal."

The air begins to blow more breezily.
People begin to be a little uncomfortable.

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"We will press our advantage soon, and destroy the will of Allanak!"

Valasurus pauses to take a breath.
Everyone cheers.

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"I promise to you that I will lead you to victory against the Black Menace of Allanak!"

The mighty Tektolnes appears in a flash of light, emerging from a bright pinpoint of a portal.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"sup bitches"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
can a mutha get a mimosa in this bitch?"

Valasurus says, in Steinal-accented sirihish,
"Pride will be your destruction."

The mighty Tektolnes stares strangely at Valasurus.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"wat"

Valasurus says, out-of-character:
"dude how the hell did you ever get your role, you are the worst roleplayer of all time"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"cast mon un shut the fuck up ~Valasurus"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"oops, mischan"

The mighty Tektolnes waves his hand and utters an incantation.
Steinal disappears from view, leaving behind salt and sand and ash.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"haha, noobs"

The mighty Tektolnes rolls on the floor, laughing hysterically.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"steinal...more like whine all"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"cast mon un animate all corpse"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"damn it"

The mighty Tektolnes waves a hand, uttering an incantation.
Salt and sand-covered zombies arise from the ground.

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"ok"

The mighty Tektolnes says, in Highlord-accented sirihish,
"do that michal jackson dance thing"

-----

hope u guys liekd it

-Tek

[Lizzie]

I feel Tektolnes's emotes were sheer poetry, and his timing was deadpan.
That Steinal guy though, needed to work on the delivery. It was dull, like a black gem, and lacking, like the halflings in the grey forest.

[TheWanderer]

A masterful piece of literature.

[Cutthroat]

tek dosent need a roll call to get a new templar. he can just make bastard templars with the lacky. or is tek a wuss now?

sincerely
M. U.

[LauraMars]

Hilurd -

How long did it take you to train your skills so high? 

How many days played are you?

Do you have a fave color?

What is your relationship with Muk Utep? 

Is there a Mrs. Hilurd in your life?

[slvrmoontiger]

Here I thought this was going to be a real post... Or is it a real post and just shows what a LOSER Tek is.

[hilurd tektolnes]

I feel Tektolnes's emotes were sheer poetry, and his timing was deadpan.
That Steinal guy though, needed to work on the delivery. It was dull, like a black gem, and lacking, like the halflings in the grey forest.

heard

A masterful piece of literature.

*hattip*

tek dosent need a roll call to get a new templar. he can just make bastard templars with the lacky. or is tek a wuss now?

sincerely
M. U.

you arent the real utep
utep has his own account but he's british so he logs in later

[hilurd tektolnes]

Hilurd -

How long did it take you to train your skills so high? 

How many days played are you?

Do you have a fave color?

What is your relationship with Muk Utep? 

Is there a Mrs. Hilurd in your life?

in order:
all of the days
see above
black
every time we get together, sparks fly
see above

[hilurd tektolnes]

Here I thought this was going to be a real post

here i thought this was going to be a real reply

[ShaLeah]

Is it wrong that I am giggling like a fool at this?

Also, Tek, you are hot. How about being #5? My backstab skill is at master, as is my cooking.

[SunKing1991]

You know, when I apped for this role, I thought it was going to be epic, not like babysitting toddlers. You guys see what I have to deal with?

I'd post the log of the time he tried the same thing with Tuluk and the kryl snuck up behind him, but staff keeps telling me no, he's still alive, the rez was justified because I shouldn't have had the 'Immortal Slayer' sword. It's all crap.

And daddy's boy: it's South Africa. Just because we're part of the Commonwealth doesn't mean we're subjects to the British Crown.

[LauraMars]

omigosh

it's His Radiance Muk Utep

fangirl scream!!

[Barsook]

Where's the Sand Lord then?

[BadSkeelz]

hilurd how many times a month do you need to pk your entire clan again cause of nubs

[FreeRangeVestric]

wtf this game is full of twinks

i quit

[SunKing1991]

wtf this game is full of twinks

i quit

Nonsense. You love me.

[LauraMars]

Muk Utep, how many people love you?

Do you love them back?

DO YOU LOVE ME, SPECIFICALLY?

WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

[FreeRangeVestric]

wtf this game is full of twinks

i quit

Nonsense. You love me.

I...I love you.

[BadSkeelz]

Is it OK if I call you Sunny Delight?

[QuillDipper]

Can't match the fanatic-packed taste of Sunny King.

[CodeMaster]

in all fairness this is Tek's thread guys, let's not get off topic

Tektolnes I challenge you to high spar, meet me IC at the place where we did that thing that time.

[Rahnevyn]

who gave these guys back GDB access?!

[hilurd tektolnes]

Also, Tek, you are hot. How about being #5? My backstab skill is at master, as is my cooking.

if ur having dude problems i feel bad for u, hon
i got 99 posts and this one makes 100 where i ask why u not include ride skill

i mean lets be honest, everyone was thinking it, u opened that door

You know, when I apped for this role, I thought it was going to be epic, not like babysitting toddlers. You guys see what I have to deal with?

I'd post the log of the time he tried the same thing with Tuluk and the kryl snuck up behind him, but staff keeps telling me no, he's still alive, the rez was justified because I shouldn't have had the 'Immortal Slayer' sword. It's all crap.

And daddy's boy: it's South Africa. Just because we're part of the Commonwealth doesn't mean we're subjects to the British Crown.

Where's the Sand Lord then?

wat?
who?

hilurd how many times a month do you need to pk your entire clan again cause of nubs

this one time i told fale that there was a party and then i told tor that there was a party and then i told borsail that there was a party
they did not like it when they found out the party was actually in my pants and no one was really invited except the choicest of dames and bros

the choicest!

so to answer your question...two times

[hilurd tektolnes]

in all fairness this is Tek's thread guys, let's not get off topic

Tektolnes I challenge you to high spar, meet me IC at the place where we did that thing that time.

this guy knows what it is about right here
you still got contacts that have the stuff from the place where we did the thing, cause i lost them digits...hit a hilurd up

wait

...you do mean a "high" spar right?

[manonfire]

can you give us a log of that time you pwnt dem dorfs plz

[slvrmoontiger]

You know, when I apped for this role, I thought it was going to be epic, not like babysitting toddlers. You guys see what I have to deal with?

I'd post the log of the time he tried the same thing with Tuluk and the kryl snuck up behind him, but staff keeps telling me no, he's still alive, the rez was justified because I shouldn't have had the 'Immortal Slayer' sword. It's all crap.

And daddy's boy: it's South Africa. Just because we're part of the Commonwealth doesn't mean we're subjects to the British Crown.

His Royal Highness Muk Utep... Just post a log of the time you kicked Tek's ass. I'm sure there are many of them.

[Fujikoma]

Where's that money you owe me, Tek? Seriously, how long has it been now?

[ShaLeah]

Also, Tek, you are hot. How about being #5? My backstab skill is at master, as is my cooking.

if ur having dude problems i feel bad for u, hon
i got 99 posts and this one makes 100 where i ask why u not include ride skill

i mean lets be honest, everyone was thinking it, u opened that door

They don't have to think it, they know M'Hilurd.

* ShaLeah winks.

ride                      (total fail)
suX0rz                  (mindblowing)
two handed            (super duper)
sandwich making     (bombastic)
brewing                 (staggering)


Call me. Seriously. I'll totally be your bitch.

[slvrmoontiger]

Also, Tek, you are hot. How about being #5? My backstab skill is at master, as is my cooking.

if ur having dude problems i feel bad for u, hon
i got 99 posts and this one makes 100 where i ask why u not include ride skill

i mean lets be honest, everyone was thinking it, u opened that door

They don't have to think it, they know M'Hilurd.

* ShaLeah winks.

ride                      (total fail)
suX0rz                  (mindblowing)
two handed            (super duper)
sandwich making     (bombastic)
brewing                 (staggering)


Call me. Seriously. I'll totally be your bitch.

*chuckles* Guess she has no ride skill, how unfortunate.

[slvrmoontiger]

Cause I can't get the Edit part to work... But I could teach you how to ride here's mine...

ride                            (god-like)

[ShaLeah]

Also, Tek, you are hot. How about being #5? My backstab skill is at master, as is my cooking.

if ur having dude problems i feel bad for u, hon
i got 99 posts and this one makes 100 where i ask why u not include ride skill

i mean lets be honest, everyone was thinking it, u opened that door

They don't have to think it, they know M'Hilurd.

* ShaLeah winks.

ride                      (total fail)
suX0rz                  (mindblowing)
two handed            (super duper)
sandwich making     (bombastic)
brewing                 (staggering)


Call me. Seriously. I'll totally be your bitch.

*chuckles* Guess she has no ride skill, how unfortunate.

Dude you don't need ride when your suX0rz is at mind blowing AND your sammich making is at bombastic. D'uh.

Edited to fix phone auto correct.

[QuillDipper]

Dear Highlord

May I call you 'Tickle Toes'?

[SunKing1991]

Muk Utep, how many people love you?

Do you love them back?

DO YOU LOVE ME, SPECIFICALLY?

WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

All the people, and of course I love them back. I'm like a father to all of you.

As for you, my child, do you think I don't know what you've done? Repent, and come back to me.

<stupid.gif>

Any time, daddy's boy. Come out of your stupid tower and come meet me face-to-face. Who do you think I am, Luir?

Oh, that's right. You can't.

Normally I wouldn't stoop to this level, but it seems the only language you can understand:

[manonfire]

shots fired

[Kol]

That's one across the bow, skipper! Prepare for return fire!

[Desertman]

Muk, you remember that one time you had that kewl tree and then you didn't have that kewl tree no more?

Welcome to the game son. Tyn Dashra, greatest bait in historiez. Enjoy dat volcano.

[Rairen]

Hi, lord,

U give love a bad name.  Also: soul - for eating or for bards?

[LauraMars]

Hi, lord,

U give love a bad name.  Also: soul - for eating or for bards?

R-r-...-RAIREN!!

[SunKing1991]

Muk, you remember that one time you had that kewl tree and then you didn't have that kewl tree no more?

Welcome to the game son. Tyn Dashra, greatest bait in historiez. Enjoy dat volcano.

Remember that one time you had that cool...

oh wait, no, nevermind.

The volcano's there because I want it there. Seemed the coolest way to finally get those damned squatters off my lawn. And now I have a good source for my lava cannons.

[Desertman]

Muk, you remember that one time you had that kewl tree and then you didn't have that kewl tree no more?

Welcome to the game son. Tyn Dashra, greatest bait in historiez. Enjoy dat volcano.

Remember that one time you had that cool...

oh wait, no, nevermind.

The volcano's there because I want it there. Seemed the coolest way to finally get those damned squatters off my lawn. And now I have a good source for my lava cannons.

Go make more public appearances, or as the Highlurd likes to call it, low-class slumming.

[Zoan]

Dear Muk,

How does one sufficiently PRAISE THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN?