Roleplay Insecurity

[DustMight]

Anyone ever get this? I'm feeling it real strong lately.  Messing up emotes, misspelling. Afraid I'm not playing my character consistently.  Thinking that I just plan suck.  Man. Never used to bother me. These last few days - crazy.  Worse around really well desc'd characters with awesome emote-fu.

[RogueGunslinger]

Naw, I'm generally awesome, if a little redundant. 

Jokes aside, yeah, and I think everyone experiences it to some degree eventually. Just remember you can't be amazing 100% of the time, nobody can. As long as you're trying to bring life to your character in some fashion you're contributing.

[Delirium]

I find that if you start to feel like you're not on top of your game, the best course of action is to take a little break.

To me it's the harbinger of burnout, so stepping back to reassess the character and recharge a bit almost always works.

[slvrmoontiger]

I have to agree in part with both of the previous replies. When I start getting lax I go for a break... Not a long one... But I get out and experience real life for a little bit and that usually refreshes me and I get back. After all I don't know of many that could stay away too long unless life necessitated it. But I also agree with what RogueGunslinger said. You can't be amazing 100% of the time.

Other suggestions:

1) Make sure your client has a good as you type spell check. Mudlet is great for this.
2) Make sure you read what you type once before sending it and then you read it again and make sure you read it aloud. This should help you to catch any grammatical errors.
3) Make sure you're not tired when you're playing... This is when I screw up the most with my typing.

[Kronibas]

I was more self conscious about my roleplay, especially solo roleplay, when there were staff members like Karianna, Naephet, and Sanvean, who I really respected and looked up to. I'm not saying that the current staff members are not worthy of respect or being looked up to, but maybe that's because I do not know them, save for random names approving my characters or sending me complaints/critiques that I am not using this skill properly. Such has not always been the case.

Once I had a Kuraci agent who practiced backstab on a minion. Instead of chewing me out, a polite redirection was issued. They didn't threaten to take away my karma. They didn't speak rudely to me. I was happy to oblige, since they told me nicely that it wasn't cool and weren't, well, aggressive or mean. I see a lot of aggression, critiquing, and negative feedback from staff these days - more than positive, to be sure - but that's probably just me. But what can you expect when the staff members who once guided you are long gone?

Of course, this was when I was a teenager and had the mentality of a football player looking to a coach. A lot of the staff then were really good coaches, and I looked to them as figureheads and role models. Maybe this is an age thing for me, but I just don't feel that way any more. I respect staff members for their contributions and time to the game, but really not any more than I respect a player who has put a lot into the game. Some don't give me the vibe of being leaders/role models, but of being critics. The distinction is profound, especially when some players are criticized for some actions while others aren't.

I remember receiving invitations for roles, requests for documentation adds, and even more. That doesn't happens now. Really, the only correspondence I have had in the last year from a staff member has been a critique of a character with less than ten days played, and it wasn't even constructive feedback: it was chastisement.

Once, Sanvean made a post about players roleplaying more when they thought someone was around. That's probably true, but I don't see the problem with it. Vox is an actor that plays Armageddon. Does he amp up his character while he's at the grocery store or brushing his teeth?  Probably not. And for the same reason, I don't really go all out emotes when I'm by myself.


What am I getting at?  I don't really feel that self conscious about my RP these days. I will recheck the docs and try to insert them appropriately into my roleplay, but that's in the name of playing the game, and not out of some desire to play on par with people who have tried to guide me, include me, and respect me.  Again, I think that's mainly an age thing, the growing out of a need to match wits with eloquent and respected writers, but it also has to do with the divisiveness of staff and player base, which seems greater now than it ever has before.

When I say RP here, I mean more of the writing-based part of Arm, not doing what I think my character would do ICly vs OOCly.


In the end, I have learned to play Armageddon for myself and for the people I play with, and if they don't like my roleplay, they can go play with someone else. Or if they're an imm, they can send critiques/threats to remove the karma I've earned over fourteen years, instead of positive feedback or suggestions for improving what they believe is improperly playing the game

In two years, the only feedback I have received from staff were three emails in a week chastising me for playing a class that, in fourteen years, I had never played OR applied to play before. It made me terribly self conscious, and probably because I was depressed IRL, I cried at work, stored the character, and did not play for ten months.   So, I feel you on having feelings of self consciousness, and I apologize if it is a particular person who has made you feel that way.

I would roleplay with you without judgment. That is, unless you were playing a human who had sex with half-giant midgets. Then I probably could not help but to be a smidge judgmental.

[BleakOne]

I think pretty much the same on this issue as I did with the grammar one elsewhere. If you care enough to be worried if you are doing good enough RP, I can say with great confidence that you are mostly likely doing fine.

Don't worry if you occasionally 'pee' curiously at someone instead of 'peer', we've all been there. Hell, once I manage to accidently emote wearing my boss on my head and adjusting them (long time ago). Mistakes happen, the best we can do is try not to do them. 

Now to Kronibas: Sorry to hear you had such a rough time. All I can say is you are lots of fun to play with, and a great RPer as far as I can remember. I think we can all agree Sanvean is awesome, as for the other two you named, I wasn't around back then but I bet they were good too. 

[Kronibas]

Anyone ever get this? I'm feeling it real strong lately.  Messing up emotes, misspelling. Afraid I'm not playing my character consistently.  Thinking that I just plan suck.  Man. Never used to bother me. These last few days - crazy.  Worse around really well desc'd characters with awesome emote-fu.

If you ever would like for me to look over one of your descriptions for you, I would be more than happy to, using the review function on Microsoft Word; that way, you would have not only corrections but also the "whys" behind corrections. Until I became I farmer, I taught English at a community college, so I could explain the grammar rules in no uncertain terms, too

And that offer stands for anyone:  my email is kronibas@hotmail.com - but I would prefer it if you used an email address not connected to Armageddon, as I would rather not know who plays who.

When I felt self conscious about main descriptions, I used to ask for help. That is until one day, I asked the staff member Daigon for help, and he pasted me the main desc of an NPC permanently stationed in the Sanctuary. This character went on to be really long lived, and I was oblivious until one day Mansa accused me of stealing NPC descs, and it dawned on me.

But yeah, thanks for the words, Bleak One

[tiptoe]

Anyone ever get this? I'm feeling it real strong lately.  Messing up emotes, misspelling. Afraid I'm not playing my character consistently.  Thinking that I just plan suck.  Man. Never used to bother me. These last few days - crazy.  Worse around really well desc'd characters with awesome emote-fu.

I get this a lot lately. Maybe it's just because I have less time to play, and feel like I'm always tired when I do have the time. I don't know. I feel like my character used to be more interesting to be around, and that now I just suck at it. Maybe it's an epidemic? Either way, feeling exactly the same way as you.

[Barzalene]

All the time. I am just not brilliant. I'm like the workhorse of rp.

I think it's important to note that it's ok to be consistently good when you don't feel like you're making it to great. And when you can't be good it's ok to just do your best.

[manonfire]

The secret to great RP, as Naox once told me, is having the balls to be weird and the brains to make it eloquent.

Goddamn, Naox.. whatever happened to that guy? He was my favorite immortal.

[Jherlen]

You might send kudos to the well-desced, emote-fu masters that are intimidating your RP. Or PM them on the GDB, if you know their handles! I remember when I first started playing, I had the same insecurities about emoting around some characters, but once I had a chance to interact with them a bit more, and gush praise at them a bit, I realized they were just normal people, like me. A few are still good internet friends of mine and have shared some of their RP secrets with me, and later on I even had some chances to return the favor.

I don't have much to add, except that I wanted to send Kronibas a hug (we can bro-hug if it'd be less weird). Sounds like you had a rough experience, good to see you sticking with the game!

[Zoan]

Just have fun, man.

[Lizzie]

I find that if you start to feel like you're not on top of your game, the best course of action is to take a little break.

To me it's the harbinger of burnout, so stepping back to reassess the character and recharge a bit almost always works.

I find that if you start to feel like you're not on top of your game, then stop trying to be on top of your game all the time. This isn't a job, you're not being paid to impress anyone. There's no need to always do your absolute best, or feel bad about not doing your best.

[RogueGunslinger]

Amen, Lizzie.

[Puppy]

In my experience, the people who worry about their roleplay ability are generally good roleplayers.

It's the ones who never do that tend to more likely...be...not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot.

[Lizzie]

In my experience, the people who worry about their roleplay ability are generally good roleplayers.

It's the ones who never do that tend to more likely...be...not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot.

It's a good sound-bite, but it isn't really very accurate. Some people are confident in their skills, and really -are- excellent RPers, who don't have to ever worry about it, and know that, and therefore they don't.

Some people are really very new at it, are not very good at it, and worry about it constantly.

Some are good roleplayers, but not confident, and therefore worry.
Some are lousy RPers, but overconfident, and therefore never worry.
Some - are decent, don't feel that it's necessary to worry, and are confident in the staff in that if there's a problem with their RP, someone will alert them to it.
Some, like me, are proabably decent - not awesome, but not piss-poor either. I try, but I don't worry about it. Like I said in my previous post - it's not my responsibility, it's not my job. I'm here to have fun, and I hope you have fun with me, but I'm not going to obsess about making sure that you're entertained. Try yes. Worry, no.

[Drayab]

Try yes. Worry, no.

Agreed. It's possible to care without obsessing over being perfect. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself if I did that. Yes, that would make it feel like a job. Ultimately, I'm here to have fun. The interactive storytelling of this game is what keeps me coming back, so it's natural that I try to contribute to the scene, but I'm not going to feel guilty for having an off day.

For the record, I think this one is me.

Some - are decent, don't feel that it's necessary to worry, and are confident in the staff in that if there's a problem with their RP, someone will alert them to it.

[Puppy]

In my experience, the people who worry about their roleplay ability are generally good roleplayers.

It's the ones who never do that tend to more likely...be...not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot.

It's a good sound-bite, but it isn't really very accurate. Some people are confident in their skills, and really -are- excellent RPers, who don't have to ever worry about it, and know that, and therefore they don't.

Some people are really very new at it, are not very good at it, and worry about it constantly.

Some are good roleplayers, but not confident, and therefore worry.
Some are lousy RPers, but overconfident, and therefore never worry.
Some - are decent, don't feel that it's necessary to worry, and are confident in the staff in that if there's a problem with their RP, someone will alert them to it.
Some, like me, are proabably decent - not awesome, but not piss-poor either. I try, but I don't worry about it. Like I said in my previous post - it's not my responsibility, it's not my job. I'm here to have fun, and I hope you have fun with me, but I'm not going to obsess about making sure that you're entertained. Try yes. Worry, no.

I've found it to be accurate.  Not "precise"...I didn't say it was a rule.

To me the best RPers I've ever played with - based on a sample size of 25 years - have been confident in their abilities, yes...but not overly so.  They always worry about each post being up to the "standard".  The overconfident ones tend to get decadent and dull, in my experience.

[Case]

I've always hated my roleplay and style of roleplay, and always try to improve. I know lots of people worry about their RP and they're usually fine, outside looking in.

[RogueGunslinger]

The better roleplayer is the person who is more fully immersed.

[evilcabbage]

I am an amazing rper and fully immerse myself into every situation.

[ShaLeah]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be true to the character you created, with wanting to entertain. You can't always be ON, you will have to go afk, you'll be sick for rpt's you can't miss, you'll be out of it sometimes, it just happens.

I would not "worry", it wouldn't keep me up at night, but I'm definitely one of the ones who want to make the world come alive, who wanna weave stories and create drama in otherwise placid character's lives. I would rather be the immersion for others cause that's what makes ME immersed.

I don't think concern makes me better, nor do I think others who may have no concern at all are worse. We just have different playing styles.

[Puppy]

...I would rather be the immersion for others cause that's what makes ME immersed.

Love that part of your comment.  It's the ultimate compliment, to me, when my roleplay makes another's come alive and we sort of feed off each other.  Realizing it's not real, of course, but being so immersed and finding it so believable that both players can sort of suspend disbelief, for a while.  Like watching a really good fictional movie.

[Fujikoma]

Sorry for the necromancy. (but looking at the dates between postings, it's either not thread necromancy, or it wouldn't be the first time)

Anyway, when I first started, I worried a bit, but I think I did my best when I slipped into the moment, and for a short while, experienced the things my character was going through, saw, either through their eyes or third person, the events going on, the chaos of it all. I struggle to maintain that. I am certain I am not good at it, but now it gives me less cause for concern than it used to. If I see something I like from someone else, that inspires me, I will spend some time thinking about a particular wording or whatnot. But I guess what's more important to me than the generic, bland emotes I continually throw out is the flow of the story, of the action, of the scene.

Yes, there's a lot that I type that can likely afford to be skimmed. Given that it's not of the highest quality, I may as well not add another big chunk of awkward on top of it, but rather pay attention to others and try and see what it is they do, how it works, why it works, or what doesn't work about it. Being almost completely new to roleplaying, I definitely have a lot to learn, but I'm going to do my best not to let that me me overly self-conscious, and try and keep focused on what really matters to me, whether I'm having fun, and whether it seems like those interacting with my character are having fun (and yes, screaming to burn my character at the stake indicates to me that you are most definitely having fun, as does bursting into tear-filled laughter), and try to consider if what I'm doing is productive to everyone's fun, or destructive, because I'd much prefer the former.

[Dar]

 Sigh. I would say I wasnt top of my game for the last 3 years. Mainly due to shrinking amount of time to play. Which leads to playing at work, which leads to playing with 25% attention dedicated to the game. Sometimes I play and I'm like ... whoa, the quality of my play has really fallen lately, but the only way to improve is to focus and dedicate my time more. So instead I just continue being meh.

[IntuitiveApathy]

I just wanted to say that Kronibas, I think you're awesome and don't stop~

(though like Dar I've long had the problem with lesser time/fragmentation now - it was just so much easier to immerse yourself and -be- your character when you could play 139687 hours a day..)

[Bogre]

I feel that I make great characters, but that sometimes I get too busy to play them fully.

[Scarecrow]

IntuitiveApathy stop having a life and come play with us, because you are awesome.

End message.

[Fujikoma]

IntuitiveApathy stop having a life and come play with us, because you are awesome.

End message.

+1

[BleakOne]

IntuitiveApathy stop having a life and come play with us, because you are awesome.

End message.

+1

[IntuitiveApathy]

Hah, you guys only loved me for my boots.  And I only loved you guys for your boots.  That may or may not be true.

Since I kind of caused the derail of this thread, I'll try to get it back on track:

I've been playing quite a long time, and at many times in the past been intimidated by people who are fantastic emoters.  You know, those who are just able to spew novel-worthy lines like they're written across the backs of their hands all ready and raring to go.  Sure, emoting isn't the end all of roleplaying, but it's great at getting your character's physical flavour across and involving and immersing those around you.  If you're doing it in an wonderfully eloquent manner, seemingly without effort - I really admire that because it's something I -wish- I could do, and still aspire to reach those sorts of heights.  Despite that, these days, I try not to compare myself to those guys and to beat myself up about it - when I'm having an "on" day and getting half out of what those people can put out, I'm happy.  When I'm not (and there's a million reasons why that can be the case), I'll roll with it and try not to force myself - we all play to enjoy the game after all, not to hold ourselves to unattainable standards.

[long live miley cyrus]

Just relax, let go, and emote naturally. At least, that's my iron code of doing it for myself. If I stray, I have to repent by throwing myself off a great height and splattering a noble with my blood and intestines, which were loosened by the impact. Burst out of ma body.

Edited something that required more explanation than I am willing to give because I'm lazy.

[Ourla]

If all else fails -- and I'm outside -- I always type 'weather' and shoot out a juicy emote that brings the world to life around me. That's the kind of roleplay I personally admire most. There's a thousand ways to sigh and nod and grunt and cross your legs, but when you're able to draw elements of the physical environment into your ropleplay, be it via VNPCs or weather or whatever, that's what makes my jaw drop.  I remember playing with Gimfalisette back in the day and our characters were hanging out on top of a well-known teahouse in Tuluk, and she emoted the strains of a distant violin carrying softly across the Poet's Circle. I've never forgotten that.

[boog]

Yes!

Abuse the fuck out of those vnpcs, guys. They don't mind.

[Zoan]

emote fucks and abuses a nearby vNPC

[QuillDipper]

Ive created two vNPCs that I love dearly. I interact with them once every time I get on.

I will be crushed when I inevitably have one die.

[bcw81]

emote fucks and abuses a nearby vNPC

vNPC's can't give consent. Enjoy your permaban.

[Derain]

I have to agree with Kronibas, no matter how hard I try to do better I seem to always get the same negative feedback and never any good feedback unless it comes in Kudos form for doing something out of my way when I didn't have to..
Anyways yes Kronibas I am in the slump of I can do nothing right right now but I want to be in the good kids club again.

[Wish]

I'm a perfectionist.  I always feel a little insecure about my roleplay.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to remember a moment or a series of moments with pride in my abilities instead of disparagement.

[boog]

I'm a perfectionist.  I always feel a little insecure about my roleplay.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to remember a moment or a series of moments with pride in my abilities instead of disparagement.

Are you me?!

[Tuannon]

There is only one boog.

[Asche]

I feel really insecure whenever a gap in my IG knowledge is revealed, especially if its something my character really should know. It happens far less as I become more familiar with the areas I tend to rp, but I'm still iffy on everything but the basics of Tuluk's lore. I still remember my first character making a reference to some quick animal as 'spry as a halfling.' I had only seen they had a racial doc and assumed their existence. So my indie, uneducated hunter was referencing an uncivilized race that died out literally Ages past. That said, I'm generally fairly confident in my emotes. I tend to prefer a 'less is more' approach, unless I'm playing a magicker.

[The7DeadlyVenomz]

I feel really insecure whenever a gap in my IG knowledge is revealed, especially if its something my character really should know. It happens far less as I become more familiar with the areas I tend to rp, but I'm still iffy on everything but the basics of Tuluk's lore. I still remember my first character making a reference to some quick animal as 'spry as a halfling.' I had only seen they had a racial doc and assumed their existence. So my indie, uneducated hunter was referencing an uncivilized race that died out literally Ages past. That said, I'm generally fairly confident in my emotes. I tend to prefer a 'less is more' approach, unless I'm playing a magicker.

It was only 36 years ago that halflings disappeared. There's plenty of folks who remember them. You're alright with knowing that halflings were nimble little child monsters.

[Lizzie]

By now halflings would be legendary creatures, and their spryness would be equally legendary. Sort of like in real life, you refer to a leprachaun's pot of gold, and a cluster of mushrooms becomes a fairy grove.

You don't need to even believe that halflings existed (though in the game world they certainly did), to know that they were spry.