Introverted player having trouble being extroverted

[Riev]

My introversion is so extreme, sometimes, as to cause issues in game. I'm not saying I want to be an extroverted person in real life, thats just not who I am.

But in game, I tend to have a hard time when there is a large amount of people, and a bunch of things going on. Especially in taverns, and more especially if I have listen on. As a gamer, I want to pay attention to everything, as my PC I want to pay attention to whats happening just at my table... but the other day I was using the way, sitting at a table, talking with someone at a DIFFERENT table... and eventually my brain just kinda went to mush.

Is this just me? I mean, in real life I'm more comfortable with small, close/personal groups anyways. I'd rather NOT have all my PCs be that way, but its hard to RP out of something so core as introversion. Does anyone have tips or ideas?

[Barzalene]

Your post resonates for me. Not so much with crowds, but with ongoing flurries of interaction. It doesn't take long for rp with people that my pc isn't comfortable with to exhaust me. Sometimes the thought of going to a tavern exhausts me.

All this is probably not actually helpful, but I was excited to see I'm not the only one.

[Fredd]

I'm the same way, even when playing someone that should be 100% happy with a full tavern (pickpockets, pimps, whores, spice dealers, information brokers, ect) I find large groups confusing.

[Marauder Moe]

You are not alone.

I'd say it's OK to be overwhelmed/distracted by multiple conversations.  Personally, I don't think that's a function of introversion but rather of humanity.  Armageddon, being a slower-than-real-time game, grants our PCs certain super-powers of attention and reaction.  Play it out IC.  Tell one party to hold on because you're busy.  Ask to go somewhere quieter.

Also I'd warn against the sitting-alone-at-a-table-and-spy-on-the-bar-with-listen thing.  While it's easy and tempting, it's pretty anti-social and reinforces those tendancies.

Most RL tips about how to be good at conversation apply.  Keep things moving by asking questions.  Don't shy away from topics that seem unimportant/boring (realize that, for extroverts at least, the act of conversation itself is more important than the actual information exchange).

Be nosey.  Be opinionated.

Lower your mental filter, at least a bit.  Don't worry about other people/PCs thinking poorly of yours so much (realize that, in fact, self deprecation and flaws/vulnerability can actually raise others' opinions of you).

[Morrolan]

I find that my PC's personality actually informs how I react to a lot of things.

Finding a couple of basic questions that my character's attention revolves around gives me a filter I can use to quickly judge interactions and situations:

Bynner's hierarchy:
Am I getting paid?
Am I under orders?
Does it involve killing?
Does it involve drinking?
Is he/she sexy?

Grebber's hierarchy:
Can I sell it?
Is it warning me?
Will it make my life easier?

Merchant's hierarchy:
Do I need this relationship for a goal?
Are they gonna buy?
What can they do for me?

Etc.

A couple of questions like this can be asked in any situation. It's easier than muddling around with "how do I feel?"

[Riev]

Thanks guys, its a real help knowing its not just a problem of personality type!

[Morrolan]

A couple of questions like this can be asked in any situation. It's easier than muddling around with "how do I feel?"

P.S. I suggested this because for certain types of introversion, dealing with feelings is exactly what is exhausting. For other types of introversion, YMMV.

[Barzalene]

Oh and I am sometimes crippled by the expectation of small talk. Probably why I liked playing a Templar so much.

[Fable]

No, it's definitely not just you. For what it's worth, I seem to be in much the same, or at least very similar, proverbial boat: I am extremely introverted in real life, to the point where I have to actively kick myself mentally out of that particular comfort zone up to tens of times per day, and my post count is just further proof of that. This introversion translates in a direct fashion to what I can and cannot manage to do even while playing here, to the point where I would also sometimes shut down (and fall back to playing the more quiet / introspective / loner type) whenever there are a lot of players involved in the same scene that I am in. Yes, my roleplay suffers directly, even to the point where I get some anguish over knowing that I can do better (at least manage to in situations that are more 1-on-1), but can't seem to do it in large groups.

Perhaps this is something that I will get better at with time, but for now it's a blindspot that I have and know about.

As for you, Riev, if it is any sort of consolation -- I actually would never have guessed that you were an introvert in the least from all the interactions that my character has had with one of yours. In a sense, perhaps this note is some kind of unofficial kudos for a roleplaying job tremendously well done; a successful illusion.

[James de Monet]

Maybe I'm not as big of an introvert as I think I am, or maybe Morrolan is correct and this issue is deeper than simply a matter of intro vs extro, but I have never found this to be a problem, except in RPT situations where the screen is scrolling faster than I can read.  That being said, I think something that it might help you guys to practice more is ignoring people.  Just because your PC codedly heard something doesn't mean they were paying attention.  You're always free to tell people, "What?  Sorry I was thinking about cactus fruit."  If you as a player CHOOSE not to read everything that crosses your screen, you may find it easier to deal with.

Also, there are definite situations where I think you should do this:
Morrolan's list looks to be based on a 'Of more interest to my char' -> 'Of less interest to my char'.  I would propose a further extension, 'Of minor disinterest to my char' -> 'Of serious danger to my char to hear'.

For most chars, this would probably look something like:
Is this referring to something boring?
Is this referring to something illegal?
Is this something beneath/above my character's notice?
Is this something that my employer could lose face for being associated with?
Is this something that I could lose face for being associated with? (mostly nobles/merchants)
Is this something that could get me killed for knowing?

I think a PCs reactions to these later instances should fall somewhere on a continuum from distraction to declining to comment to passing it off on a superior/subordinate to walking away.

Knowledge can get you killed in Arm! Limiting what your char hears can help you keep your sanity and maybe help you stay alive!

[Is Friday]

Of course being an introvert is common for a MUD. Why do you think so many characters are passive-aggressive wimps? 

[Morrolan]

Of course being an introvert is common for a MUD. Why do you think so many characters are passive-aggressive wimps? 

What, good sir, do you mean by that?

Oh.

OH!

[James de Monet]

Color coding your text window is also EXTREMELY helpful in filtering conversations. If you highlight all sentences with "you" "your" and your character's name in them, you can generally safely ignore most everything else, in a pinch.

[Fujikoma]

Being an introvert, an extreme, paranoid introvert, yeah, I can feel your pain. At the same time, games are fun because you can always start over again...

[Morrolan]

Color coding your text window is also EXTREMELY helpful in filtering conversations. If you highlight all sentences with "you" "your" and your character's name in them, you can generally safely ignore most everything else, in a pinch.

What JDM said, plus color-bolding any line with the string: "templar" in it.

[Vwest]

I'm the opposite, I love parties, crowds, clubs, all of it.

I have the same problem of getting overwhelmed in big groups in-game, and with listen on... yikes!

It isn't an issue with you, but simply information overload, which effects everyone.

When it gets bad, I just have my character go do some shopping or something and get away from 'talk spam hell' for a while, even a couple of minutes helps to clear the mind before diving back into it.

[Maso]

I tend to have a hard time when there is a large amount of people, and a bunch of things going on. Especially in taverns, and more especially if I have listen on. As a gamer, I want to pay attention to everything, as my PC I want to pay attention to whats happening just at my table... but the other day I was using the way, sitting at a table, talking with someone at a DIFFERENT table... and eventually my brain just kinda went to mush.?

I am exactly the same, and I don't think it has to do with introversion (although I am)...I think it's just more to do with having a limited attention span...and it's more difficult on Arm to handle lots of people than it is in the real world - all the information is presented equal, pretty much.

[Malken]

If all else fails, I highly recommend 10-20 mg of Paxil. It'll take the edge off, man.

See your doctor for more details.

[spicemustflow]

You know that you're fucked when you have to take drugs to play a MUD.

(i would know)

[Barzalene]

See overwhelmed by the amount of activity isn't necessarily a function of introversion, but being overwhelmed by the amount of people generating the activity almost definitely is.

[AreteX]

I just tend to ignore conversations that I am not involved in or interested in because of their participants.  If Mr. Fancypants is someone I pay attention too just because I want to learn how to kill him better than I might read Mr. Fancypants conversations with Joe-Bob the Plumber, but... if it's just Joe-Bob the Plumber and Mario then I ignore them.

I think it keeps the scenario real anyway as conversations happening three barstools over in a real bar are often not even able to be heard let alone followed with any relative success.

This also lets me filter out stuff so I pay attention to what I am doing and the interactions with my actual character and not just getting overwhelmed by text.

[Lizzie]

I just tend to ignore conversations that I am not involved in or interested in because of their participants.  If Mr. Fancypants is someone I pay attention too just because I want to learn how to kill him better than I might read Mr. Fancypants conversations with Joe-Bob the Plumber, but... if it's just Joe-Bob the Plumber and Mario then I ignore them.

I think it keeps the scenario real anyway as conversations happening three barstools over in a real bar are often not even able to be heard let alone followed with any relative success.

This also lets me filter out stuff so I pay attention to what I am doing and the interactions with my actual character and not just getting overwhelmed by text.

I don't consciously pick and choose who to listen to. My brain does it automatically. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't always know what's best for my character in the game. So in your hypothetical, my brain might listen to Mr. Fancypants, UNTIL Joe-Bob the plumber ways me to talk about something that is important. Now I - consciously - am torn between two equally important things - learning how to kill Mr. Fancypants, and the "important Joe-Bob thing."

My brain will pay more attention to the Way conversation, every single time. And if Mr. Fancypants is more important, my brain will STILL pay more attention to the Way conversation, and Mr. Fancypants's thing will be much more of a struggle to pay attention to, as a result.

[Fnord]

Of course being an introvert is common for a MUD. Why do you think so many characters are passive-aggressive wimps? 

[LauraMars]

I'm a big introvert in real life, but I don't really have that problem in game.  I've had a lot of practice at this, but the fact that I am literally a different person at that moment helps me step outside whatever personal hangups I have.  It also helps that, more often than not (for me at least), everyone at the bar will be sitting idle, doing and saying nothing.  I sort of take it as a personal challenge to get people talking.  Once they are, I don't feel bad about dropping out of the conversation and only paying attention to certain things.  Somehow, the awkward, idle silence is worse for me than a lot of chatter from others.  If there already is a lot of roleplay and interaction going on, and I don't feel the need to participate or instigate anything, then unless I'm being directly addressed, I just treat it like ambient background noise, as others in this thread have been saying.

RPTs (non combat) are a different matter.  It's almost a matter of courtesy at this point for me to say nothing, emote nothing - I don't need to contribute to the screen spam for others when I'm not the focal point of the action.

[ShaLeah]

RPTs (non combat) are a different matter.  It's almost a matter of courtesy at this point for me to say nothing, emote nothing - I don't need to contribute to the screen spam for others when I'm not the focal point of the action.

It'd be nice if everyone was so courteous. More often than not it's an overwhelming plethora of "look at me!" and you can't follow shit. Heh.

[Morrolan]

RPTs (non combat) are a different matter.  It's almost a matter of courtesy at this point for me to say nothing, emote nothing - I don't need to contribute to the screen spam for others when I'm not the focal point of the action.

It'd be nice if everyone was so courteous. More often than not it's an overwhelming plethora of "look at me!" and you can't follow shit. Heh.

In a crowded "room," hemote might be a better choice. Give hemotes love, people. (Hey, maybe you are, but my "watch" skill stinks?)

[TheBadSeed]

Being in a room with more than ten people all vying for attention is the worst thing ever, in my opinion. You can't follow anything that's going on, you can't tell when you're being drawn into play.. It's just.. pure chaos.

[The Silence of the Erdlus]

My brain will pay more attention to the Way conversation, every single time. And if Mr. Fancypants is more important, my brain will STILL pay more attention to the Way conversation, and Mr. Fancypants's thing will be much more of a struggle to pay attention to, as a result.

Wow, I'm like the exact opposite, although not to an extreme.

Also I'm trying to do a thing where: well I basically just play humans, right? I will divide my attention between two or more active conversations involving myself in this order:

Templars
Arm/Legion/Kuraci leadership (if in native location)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Line of exclusive attention
Arm/Legion/Kuraci privates and recruits                       Merchant House leadership
Merchant House employees               Humans
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Line of moderate attention
Dwarves
Half-giants              Mutants of any race
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Line of faltering attention, but still attention, depending
Elves
Gickers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who gives a fuck

Breeds
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey I forgot you were in my head what's up


Being inattentive can be used to your advantage :3 Because its rarely a thing where you're in three conversations at once... isn't it?