Hints for excellent character descriptions

[Taven]

At the risk of derailing an awesome thread, am I the only person who noticed that two of the items that Nyr is wearing have grammatically incorrect sdescs? 

If I ever joined the staff, my main project would be fixing ALL the grammarz!

Do you mean "<worn on torso>          a pair of voluptuous bosoms"?

Because I was thinking about this, and I'm pretty sure it just means he has two sets of bosoms, IE, 4 breasts.

[Aaron Goulet]

At the risk of derailing an awesome thread, am I the only person who noticed that two of the items that Nyr is wearing have grammatically incorrect sdescs? 

If I ever joined the staff, my main project would be fixing ALL the grammarz!

Do you mean "<worn on torso>          a pair of voluptuous bosoms"?

Because I was thinking about this, and I'm pretty sure it just means he has two sets of bosoms, IE, 4 breasts.

Code Select Expand

<worn across back>       a large, leather backsheath

Should be: a large leather backsheath

Code Select Expand

<worn as belt>           a leather pouched belt

Should be: a pouched leather belt

So just an extra comma and a mix-up of adjective order, nothing big... but I can't help but notice them. 

[RogueGunslinger]

The pouches are leather. The belt is cotton or something. 

[Dar]

One thing I see a lot of which is not necessarily bad or wrong, but which is also not particularly interesting writing, is the "his head connects to his neck, which connects to his body, which leads into arms and legs, which ends in feet" style of description.

In Zalanthas. That information is important, because ... not everyone are structured so.

[Aaron Goulet]

The pouches are leather. The belt is cotton or something. 

Then it would be a leather-pouched belt.

[RogueGunslinger]

Are Hyphens a rule?

[Cind]

crap, sorry. thought this was a different thread.

[BleakOne]

This is not the thread you are looking for.


On topic: Take time to make sure the desc is spell checked and haz da rite grammerz. 

[Bogre]

Are Hyphens a rule?

Actually, I've started leaving some hyphens out. I think it flows better. Maybe not all hyphens, but some ?

The green-eyed, dark haired male

The worn, dark haired male

The worn, dark-haired male

Thoughts?

[Lizzie]

Are Hyphens a rule?

Actually, I've started leaving some hyphens out. I think it flows better. Maybe not all hyphens, but some ?

The green-eyed, dark haired male

The worn, dark haired male

The worn, dark-haired male

Thoughts?

the worn, dark haired male is..
worn, and he's dark, and he's haired.

just like if you made it
the green eyed dark-haired male

he is green, and he is eyed, and he has dark hair.

[Bacon]

Yeah, that totally changes the meaning of them.

[titansfan]

I normally throw a hyphen in between for hair color and eye color.

[Rhyden]

Yeah, hyphens are pretty useful for when you want to associate two words together. Plus they look cool.

[Aaron Goulet]

You don't have to use hyphens, but they are a part of proper grammar... *Glances over his shoulder at the 5+ grammar books on his bookshelf*

[Kismetic]

I like making my character's mdescs 5 lines or less if I can. Nobody wants to sit around and read a huge desc, especially if there's a lot being worn by a PC. No one wants to scroll up and read your mdesc.... Or spend 15 minutes doing it.

Sorry, dude, but if it takes you 15 minutes to read -any- description, this game is probably not for you.  Saying you don't read mdescs is like saying you don't read room descs (if you're not, hoo boy, you're in for some fun if you ever get outta of the tavern scene).

This is a reading game.  A text game.  If you want fast satisfaction, play WoW?

[Yam]

lol

[Kismetic]

No intent to troll!  I just seem to see a lot of people saying "I don't read descriptions unless it's convenient."  How is that passable in an RPI?

[RogueGunslinger]

Are you serious? I've read like.... 5 room descs in the past two years. Maybe about 10 mdescs all the way through in that time.

Sorry I don't live up to your expectations Kis.

[RogueGunslinger]

I find most descriptions hinder my ability to use my imagination, and immerse myself in the world. I write my own world up in my head, description-wise. I imagine a lot of others do this as well.

[Cind]

i do it mostly to check the number of vnpcs in the room, compare it with time command and then rp accordingly, but yes, it does narrow my imagination, too. I find the narrower range of rp a blessing because whenever I'm not actively thinking of something, I end up trying to come up with ideas for freaking books.

[Kalai]

No intent to troll!  I just seem to see a lot of people saying "I don't read descriptions unless it's convenient."  How is that passable in an RPI?

Scrolling back up to read = falling behind on the emotes and says that are occurring at this moment around you. 

Dynamic is usually more important to be alert to than static.

[Zoltan]

I run around the world with brief room on. But any time I go to a new place or actually need to "look around", I turn it off. And sometimes I just turn it off for shits and giggles to refresh my mental image of the gameworld. Rather than finding the descs confining, I find them to be a good thing to build off of. And in a text game, those lines that describe the room you are in are the reality of the place. While I think it's good to extrapolate from there, what's described in game is the common base reality for all of us playing. Going totally counter to what's described could be problematic, which is why I always make sure to have a look at things.

[Kismetic]

Sorry I don't live up to your expectations Kis.

Passive aggression, hawt.

Scrolling back up to read = falling behind on the emotes and says that are occurring at this moment around you. 

Most clients have the ability to split the screen.  I am a slow reader, and the longest descs I've seen take about a minute to read.  It takes most people that long to pop off one emote/say.

[FantasyWriter]

Really?! Does muchclient?
em scurries off to look.

[Kismetic]

I used to use MUSHclient, I think it does.  I use CMUD, now, and it definitely does.  I seem to recall always having this feature, because I use it often.

Anyway, I'm done arguing that people should read on a text game.  I now have the impression that half of you only ever read says.