The Great Zalanthan Joke Exchange

Started by FiveDisgruntledMonkeysWit, May 16, 2005, 12:50:50 AM

After perusing the new Original Submissions page and seeing all the folksongs posted, I wondered, why don't we have such an open exchange of Zalanthan jokes?
Why not indeed! Here's some of my old stand-bys, and feel free to post your own, preferably ones that can be re-told IC.
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A man takes his son into the marketplace, and gives him a coin to buy a slice of fruit. While inspecting a trinket, the man hears a gurgling sound, and turns around to see that his son has swallowed the coin, and is choking. Panicked, the man calls out for a help, and a nearby woman dressed in silks walks over. Very deliberately and calmly, the woman drops the boy's pants, grabs his testicles, and twists them oh so firmly. Startled, the boy coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches and returns to the father, all without saying a word. The father is absolutely amazed, and as the woman begins to walk away, he yells out, "Wait! How the feck did you do that, woman? What are you, a magicker?"
The woman shakes her head an answers, with a wink, "No. I'm a Nenyuki."
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Two elves walk into a bar, and suddenly pass out.
Then a dwarf walks under it.
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A Fale lord, wishing to keep his lust for elves a secret, rides out into the Red Desert one day in his private wagon with only his guard and a young elvish catamite on board. Distrustful of even his guard, the Fale lord parks the wagon atop a high dune, explaining to the guard that a plank is loose on the underside of the wagon, and he needs the elf boy's nimble young hands to fix it. And so the elf boy and the Fale go underneath the wagon and begin quietly making love, while the guard circles the perimeter. After a few hours, the guard calls out, "My lord? What in Krath's name are you doing under there?"
Perturbed, the Fale answers, "Checking the plank, I already told you!"
Sighing, the guard continues, saying, "Well, you should've been checking the wheels because the wagon rolled down the side of the dune over an hour ago."
EvilRoeSlade wrote:
QuoteYou find a bulbous root sac and pick it up.
You shout, in sirihish:
"I HAVE A BULBOUS SAC"
QuoteA staff member sends:
     "You are likely dead."

Q:How Many Templars does it take to light a torch?
A: Citizen you are under arrest..

Q:What's the difference between a Templar and a Kank?
A:Citizen you are under arrest...
As the great German philosopher Fred Neechy once said:
   That which does not kill us is gonna wish it had because we're about to FedEx its sorry ass back to ***** Central where it came from. Or something like that."

What do you call an elf that doesn't lie, cheat, or steal?

A dead elf.

how do u lure a kank?
make a noise like a tuber
A foreign presence contacts your mind.

What do you call a a criminal that likes to run in the desert and eat babies?
-An Elf



What do you call a blind ranger with no weapons surrounded by bahamets?
-Fecked



How many elves does it take to light a torch?
-who cares they're elves...



What's better than a dead elf in a bag?
two dead elves in a bag.


How many magickers does it take make a bonfire?
-Depends on how small you chop'em up


How many half-Giants does it take to light a torch?
-None, they just sit in the dark and cry.



What did one Half-Ling say to another as they saw a sleeping tribal?
-Nothing, they were too busy chewing.

Q:
He who makes it does not keep it.
He who takes it does not know it.
He who knows it does not want it.


A:
Half-elf

A hunter goes out into the desert in search of his next meal.  He travels and travels and after an exhausting journey he finally spots a scrab as he travels over a massive dune.  And so, hefting up his axe, the hunter runs up to the scrab and cuts off its head!

Hahahahaha...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA

Tee hee.

Hee.
Back from a long retirement