Author Topic: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?  (Read 809 times)

Namino

  • Posts: 436
Alright. This is my favorite ice-breaker question of all time.

Here are the rules:

You have ten attempts (ten lives). You only have to succeed to defeat your opponent of choice one out of the ten times. You can die from your injuries after, as long as your target is dead first. Remember, this is the most dangerous or threatening animal you have a 10% shot against in your personal opinion. Don't sell yourself short, but don't be too ambitious, either. Additional rules for those who need more information:

- You're in an arena, not out in the wild. You both see each other, nobody gets a stealth advantage. You have no tools but you are wearing normal daily-wear clothing.
- The animal wants to fight you and will engage to the best of its ability
- If your animal is native to the water then it meets you half way. For most reasonably sized animals that's waist to chest deep, where it can move around but is restricted by depth. Rule of thumb is that aquatic animals have just enough water to swim but can't maneuver freely.
- If possible, justify your answer, preferably with a battle-plan.
EDIT: - Average specimen. No juveniles but not top size either. Right in the middle. If the species has sexual dimorphism that's significant, state which sex.
EDIT 2: By popular demand, we're clarifying that your normal clothing is to be worn only, not made to improvise into weapons. Remember, bare hands.
EDIT 3: The walls of the arena are smooth stone. Think Roman gladiatorial arena. No cover, no topography. Flat ground, firm footing.

Additional clarification is available upon request.

Discuss.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2019, 12:20:26 AM by Namino »

bynja turtle

  • Posts: 209

mansa

  • Posts: 9678
a miniature poodle
New Players Guide: http://gdb.armageddon.org/index.php/topic,33512.0.html


You win Armageddon, congratulations!  Type 'credits', then store your character and make a new one

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 10355
Black bear.
Also, I like my cootch to have a pert pink color and nice smell. Knowing my luck I would bonk someone with AIDs, get rotten box, and die miserable.

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6455
    • My Twitch Channel
Lion.

If I can take the back and have a jacket that's a rear naked choke.


Chimps/Gorillas know how to grapple and therefore are unlikely to be killed without a weapon by a human.
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

Cerelum

  • Posts: 2192
A human, manual strangulation.
Quote from: brytta.leofa
Yeah, seriously...find out OOC.



Namino

  • Posts: 436
Lion.

If I can take the back and have a jacket that's a rear naked choke.


Chimps/Gorillas know how to grapple and therefore are unlikely to be killed without a weapon by a human.



Look at the definition on its triceps. IDK if you're going to be able to secure that grapple.

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6455
    • My Twitch Channel
Hey, 10% odds is still 10%. Just need to avoid the initial pounce and secure the back then loop the jacket. (Theoretically.)
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

triste

  • Posts: 52
Was told to post here basically because I won the debate in the discord.

Highest strength score / best DPS (damage per second for you noobs) -- crocodiles
"The "winners"—saltwater crocodiles—slammed their jaws shut with 3,700 pounds per square inch (psi), or 16,460 newtons, of bite force. By contrast, you might tear into a steak with 150 to 200 psi (890 newtons). Hyenas, lions, and tigers generate around 1,000 psi (4,450 newtons)"

Rhinos will chase you down and murder you with best agi/endurance: https://www.quora.com/Which-is-faster-a-charging-rhinoceros-or-charging-hippopotamus

However hippos are the actual deadliest in terms of statistics, combining strength and good charging speed:
"Ungainly as it is, the hippopotamus is the world's deadliest large land mammal, killing an estimated 500 people per year in Africa. Hippos are aggressive creatures, and they have very sharp teeth.

And you would not want to get stuck under one; at up to 2,750kg they can crush a human to death."

Lions are cute but not the deadliest.

triste

  • Posts: 52
I have lost by not reading OP

Renenutet

  • Storyteller
  • Posts: 321
Clan cook.
There are people already knowledgeable in game.  Find them and kill them so no one has cures and then poison everyone. -Kefka 2018

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7930
A mosquito.  They're responsible for more deaths than anything else.
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

Hauwke

  • Posts: 1814
Most people could also be reasonably expected to stop a mid-sized venomous snake before they themself die. Some might even survive the encounter unscathed.

Namino

  • Posts: 436
I suspect most people are way over 1/10 on a snake. Definitely on a mosquito. :P

Riev

  • Posts: 5464
Fisher cat, or some other mid-sized feline.

Once my hands are too small to possibly collapse a trachea, I'm useless.
Masks are the Armageddon equivalent of Ed Hardy shirts.

Haunt

  • Posts: 20
i will kill any animal given the chance without mercy
Sometimes the shit breaks you

Nameless Face

  • Posts: 401
Honey badger.  One out of ten.

Namino

  • Posts: 436
Honey badger.  One out of ten.

All memes about honey badgers aside, I think this is an excellent choice. They're really tough animals that can withstand some serious hits but they're actually quite light (30 pounds is an average male) so it'd be like brawling with a medium sized dog that's just more vicious.

FamousAmos

  • Posts: 345
My husband.

In all seriousness though, young, playful and dominant stallions can be fucking brutal. I used to breed horses and I had a particularly "playful" 2 year old stallion who'd just stand on his hind legs and attempt to high five me on our way to the pen. And once inside the pen he'd bail it. And I'd cling on for dear life because fuck that shit. I'm not having it.

Akaramu

  • Posts: 6776
Poisonous snake

X-D

  • Posts: 5649
No human has any chance at all with a full grown lion bare handed when using the rules of OP. Not 10% not 1%...0.0%.

Anybody who thinks otherwise has never met one up close and has no real understanding of the differences between humans and almost ALL other animals. First, POUND for POUND most animals, lions included are 4-6 TIMES stronger then you. This literally means that the muscle tissue itself is 4-6 times stronger. Next, the muscles and mane of a lions neck are thick and strong...even if the animal was not fighting back you would run out of strength before being able to KO the animal...even with your coat. On the males, that mane and neck muscle thickness is to defend against other lions...something you are not. Lastly...four legs and quite flexible animal weighing more then 500 pounds. You would be scraped off in moments.
Not that you would EVER be able to mount the animal to begin with since along with size and strength there is the just silly speed.

Now, if you are large and very athletic you might be able to take either a half grown female mountain lion or an elderly one...did you mean that sort of lion?

And I am still considering which animal for me. I am confident on anything under 40lbs, maybe even into 50 or 60lbs. So...10% chance? A large male African baboon can get near 100lbs. So, half my size but he has every advantage other then brains and weight. Would be a good match.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2019, 09:31:56 PM by X-D »
A gaunt, yellow-skinned gith shrieks in fear, and hauls ass.
Lizzie:
If you -want- me to think that your character is a hybrid of a black kryl and a white push-broom shaped like a penis, then you've done a great job

valeria

  • Posts: 5878
    • I have a writing page.
I'm going with a leopard seal under the rules of the OP.  They are fast and dangerous, and humans suck in water.  But they normally kill by drowning, and a good kick or hit between the eyes takes them out, and I'm fairly strong and accurate.  So I'd go for the thin bone between the eyes and take my chances on it not being able to bite me hard enough for me to bleed out or drag me around in waist deep water until I drown 1 time in 10.
A Kuraci regular shouts, in sirihish:
     "Bad move, fool!"
A Kuraci regular slashes a filthy grey rat on its body.

Namino

  • Posts: 436
Now, if you are large and very athletic you might be able to take either a half grown female mountain lion or an elderly one...did you mean that sort of lion?

My choice is a mountain lion as an aside. Average mountain lion is about 120lbs. I crank 130lbs one handed for dumbell rows for 12 reps. I recognize the animal is fighting and the weight is not, but maneuvering 120 pounds is light weight for me.


9/10 it's going to get me in a rush down but if I can get a hold of any limb, tail, or the head I'm 100% confident I can whip that cat repeatedly against the ground like a gorilla. The lumbar spine of a cougar is not particularly reinforced so its going to be dead or paralyzed in the back limbs at that point.

So I've had this conversation will probably 100 people at this point so when that biker killed the cougar in Colorado a few months back my phone exploded with shit like this:


Cerelum

  • Posts: 2192
You poor poor man, what is that generic phone you're using?
Quote from: brytta.leofa
Yeah, seriously...find out OOC.



Hauwke

  • Posts: 1814
You poor poor man, what is that generic phone you're using?

That would appear to be the Samsung s10 based on the buttons and symbols.

flurry

  • Posts: 3360
This thread reminded me of this story of a jogger drowning a rabid raccoon that attacked her:

https://bangordailynews.com/2017/06/14/news/midcoast/maine-woman-attacked-by-raccoon-drowns-rabid-animal-in-puddle/
"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream." - Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 19091
One out of ten tries? And I learn from the previous attempts? One adult elephant.

A feel like a lion would be able to twist and turn 180 in your grip 100% of the time. I also feel like you'd have a hard time getting full leverage around its neck and mane to get it to pass out before you tire out. 

Brytta Léofa

  • Posts: 627
Pretty sure I've got less than a 10% chance of surviving a cougar attack even if I have a gun.

Any critter that is hard to damage and can bleed me out (even if it can't straight up maim me) is gonna be a problem. Ten attempts is nice, but I don't learn physical skills fast.

I could prob'ly take a coyote.
A Kuraci regular shouts, in sirihish:
     "This ain't no city, grebber!"
A Kuraci regular slashes a filthy grey rat on its body.

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7930
One out of ten tries? And I learn from the previous attempts? One adult elephant.

A feel like a lion would be able to twist and turn 180 in your grip 100% of the time. I also feel like you'd have a hard time getting full leverage around its neck and mane to get it to pass out before you tire out.

How do you even fight an elephant?
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 19091
Exhaust it to death. I mean, I have a lot of time, right? I imagine their turn radius isn't that great, and if they're actively trying to kill me it shouldn't be too hard to keep them running. I bet it would dehydrate and die way sooner than I would.

Gracchus

  • Posts: 14
As far as I know no grizzly bear has ever been trained in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I am trained in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Knowing this I could easily kill a grizzly bear in two or three motions.

Haunt

  • Posts: 20
i could grab and throw a turtle
Sometimes the shit breaks you

Namino

  • Posts: 436
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6455
    • My Twitch Channel
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 19091
Well you have to be skirting the line, otherwise it wouldn't be the most dangerous. This is a fun question.

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6455
    • My Twitch Channel
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D
Hey but for real I was joking about an African lion. I liked my platoon's responses, though. Some are tenable.

But for real I know BJJ, which is a super power.
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

Namino

  • Posts: 436
Lol. I do love this question.

So far in this thread we've had someone call out the largest living land animal and the second biggest land carnivore.

X-D

  • Posts: 5649
Namino.
Quote
According to a CPW release, the body of an 80-pound juvenile mountain lion was located on the West Ridge Trail. “The runner did everything he could to save his life.

I am unable to find any cases of an adult human male (or female) Actually beating an adult healthy mountain lion bare handed. Many cases of escape. Otherwise the mountain lion is like  500-1-70.

So, mountain lion would be a good pick IMO, well inside the 10% chance.

RGS, Ballsy idea, not one I would risk. Largest land animal, Stupid fast and one of the smartest with problem solving abilities?
A gaunt, yellow-skinned gith shrieks in fear, and hauls ass.
Lizzie:
If you -want- me to think that your character is a hybrid of a black kryl and a white push-broom shaped like a penis, then you've done a great job

path

  • Posts: 1478
    • they fight crime
I'm domesticated.  :-[
Do you kill your sparring partners once they are useless to you, so that you are king?

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 19091
Elephants are only fast in bursts and straight lines. And they have slow startup speed. It could probably swing its head and trunk fast though, so you would need to be out of reach. It could probably run me down if I just tried sprinting away in a straight line. I bet after I avoided the first two or three charges I could then safely just start jogging away.

Here is the real issue though, im horribly out of shape when it comes to endurance running. Someone else would have a much better shot.

BOXCARS

  • Posts: 19
I got chased by a wild stallion in the hills of Wyoming. I don't think I could even remotely take that beast although for a moment I had to strongly consider it. Don't want to imagine what it could do to me. Nothing good!

chrisdcoulombe

  • Posts: 1246
  Deer look pretty tough.
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!

Bogre

  • Posts: 3292
I think I would give myself a 10% chance against a hammerhead shark, given the terms of engagement.

Hammerhead sharks have a relatively smaller mouth than other sharks, and shallower water limits their ability to turn and apply the jaws. That water is also an impediment to humans, but I might be able to stamp on its head between the bottom of the arena and damage critical structures. I would have to be wary that it didn't just hammer into me first, though, putting me fully in the water and then opening up snack time.

I tripped and Fale down my stairs. Drink milk and you'll grow Uaptal. I know this guy from the state of Tenneshi. This house will go up Borsail tomorrow. I gave my book to him Nenyuk it back again. I hired this guy golfing to Kadius around for a while.