Author Topic: Romance Blunders  (Read 1159 times)

James de Monet

  • Posts: 3333
Romance Blunders
« on: March 30, 2018, 04:23:53 PM »
Doublepalli’s rhyme about his ex made me think back on some stuff, and I thought it might be amusing to start a thread in which we could lament (and laugh about) some of the dumb stuff we have done in the pursuit of romance.  The point here isn’t to complain about things others have done to us, we can’t change that.  But we can learn from our own (and other players’) awesome missteps.  So here goes:


When I was in high school I was the undisputed king of this game called “Baby if you love me...”. ( For anyone who hasn’t played it, it’s a flirting game where you say “Baby if you love me, you’ll give me a smile.” and do something flirty, or joking, or whatever to try to get the other person to crack a smile before they can calmly give the prescribed reply.  It’s played in groups, and you just pick someone as your victim when it’s your turn.  If they crack, they’re up.)

Anyway, I had never lost at this game.  So, one night when we were playing it at a party, this girl that I was totally into was up.  And she picks me.  And everyone in the back of the room is rolling their eyes, because they think she’s cheating, because they all know I’m infatuated with her.  She sways across the room, and uncoils into my lap like a cat, and then she kisses me, I kid you not, like I had never been kissed before.  I have no idea how long it went on, but it was the kind of kiss that if it was in a movie, would make people flush and start to shift uncomfortably in their seats.  It was deep, and passionate, and gentle, and desperate, all at the same time.  And there were about fifteen people watching raptly.

So she pulls away from this kiss, after an eternity, and stares into my eyes, and delivers the phrase into the silent room.  And I’m silent too, for just a moment, but I lean in, and I give her a soft kiss in return, just a little one, an echo, and I run a finger lovingly down her cheek, and I say, with a shadow of remorse, “Baby...I love you.  But I just.  Can’t.  Smile.”  And the room erupts in chaos.  And then she hit me.

Somehow, it didn’t occur to me until forever later that I had made a tactical error that night.  I never did lose at that game.  I retired, still the king.  But as you can probably imagine, I pretty much struck out with her after that, too.  So, I was just left wondering: was the crown worth it?  Sometimes, the answer is no.

(And, it was episodes like this that would later lead my wife to amusedly remark, “You’re charming, but you have negative game.”  Touché.  ;D)
You know I think if James simply retitled his thread "Cheese" and apologized for his first post being off-topic, all problems would be solved.

chrisdcoulombe

  • Posts: 1222
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2018, 04:37:44 PM »
lmao
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 18916
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2018, 10:43:01 PM »
One time I had a cute girl in a group setting tell me I had the most beautiful deep blue eyes she had ever seen.

My response? Awkward silence. Lack of eye contact. Avoid her for the rest of the party. All despite being totally into her, and her giving me other not so subtle hints. Like laughing at my jokes and touching my arms.

In my defence it was my first time in this group of people so I was playing it cool. All I had to do was ask for her number.

Edit: I was 20 at the time, crazy to think that was nearly 10 years ago. Still feels like yesterday.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2018, 10:45:51 PM by RogueGunslinger »

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7889
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2018, 01:58:13 PM »
Here's something I realised at around 3 AM: if you're alone with someone you haven't seen for years and they keep on bringing up how much they were into you back in the day, they still are.

It was mutual too :(
« Last Edit: March 31, 2018, 02:00:47 PM by lordcooper »
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 18916
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2018, 10:21:59 PM »
Here's something I realised at around 3 AM: if you're alone with someone you haven't seen for years and they keep on bringing up how much they were into you back in the day, they still are.

It was mutual too :(

Hah. I've been that person, telling someone else how much I was into them back in the day. Can confirm I was still into them.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9691
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2018, 01:18:17 AM »
I once asked about a girl's friend immediately after sex.

Brain: ok, what do people do after sex? talk? ok, talk. what do i know about this girl? uh, she used to dance and she has a close friend. ok, i don't know anything about dancing so it will be obvious i don't care if i ask about that. i know, i will ask about her friends to communicate interest in her.

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7889
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2018, 03:46:22 AM »
Damn dude.
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

Akaramu

  • Posts: 6708
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2018, 09:21:37 AM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2018, 09:33:54 AM by Akaramu »

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6340
    • My Twitch Channel
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2018, 11:11:51 AM »
When I was in High School I asked this chick we called Trey (short for some long hippie thing) in the Drama class to go to a theater play with me (it was a school production). I didn't really think of it as a date, more that I thought she was cool and we should hang out. I wanted to see the play, anyway. So after seeing the thing then hanging out for a while she looked at me then awkwardly said, "So... I've forgotten your name." I laughed it off and didn't really think much of it. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure that she assumed she had lost all opportunity with me there--high school logic being what it is. Anyway, we ended up being pretty cool all throughout my time there.

----
There was this other chick in Drama named Esther who had invited me over to see her family's bakery shop during some sort of parade thing. So I show up after having walked all the way downtown (I didn't get a license until 18 like a fucking loser. This is probably why I'm a good hiker.) I hang out for a bit and talk to her older sister/her for a while. They say "Hey we're closing down and gonna go to the house to watch a movie. You can come if you like." So they pile into the car and then I'm like "Okay, sure, what's your address?" They give it to me. I walk the 1.5 hours to the house and she answers the door all hype that I'd showed up.

So I sit down and watch Jackass with Esther and her older sister/sister's bf. Great experience. Afterward the sister tells me "That's really cool of you to hang out" like it was some huge deal. I walk home after that. Years later I come to realize how many little things Esther did to try to get me to ask her out formally. She even gave me a glamor photo with a purple ink cursive-written note on the back. I was so oblivious.

Also I don't think she knew that I didn't drive.
---

ANOTHER Drama chick asked me out this one time to date when I was a senior (she a junior) after her friends heckled me for what seemed like months. It was more like an "okay whatever". We hung out and talked about theater most of the time. Her shampoo/conditioner was so awful, though. I hated it. To this day I remember the bad sea shell/ocean spray bullshit she wore. God. So bad.

Anyway she ends up breaking up with me just before Homecoming and asks if I'd like for her to still go with me. And I shrug and I'm like "Yeah okay". I didn't care. I was so uninvested in the relationship. Anyway, everyone else thought it was the most horrible thing ever for her to break up with me the day prior to Homecoming. Also, it ended up producing a pretty sick Homecoming photo cause I had a white tux with a red vest.
----

I've been with my wife since I was 18 though so I don't really have any adult relationship stories. Ah well.
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

ShaLeah

  • Posts: 5150
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2018, 10:38:00 AM »
I don't date.  I marry. 
Quote from: Anonymous
I'm sorry to see that your personal resolution to this went in that direction, but wish you the best.

chrisdcoulombe

  • Posts: 1222
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2018, 11:36:40 AM »
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!

Pale Horse

  • Posts: 4481
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2018, 01:22:58 PM »
I don't date.  I marry.

Ah, but the question is, is this a romance blunder on your part?
Quote from: Dalmeth
I've come to the conclusion that relaxing is not the lack of doing anything, but doing something that comes easily to you.

ShaLeah

  • Posts: 5150
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2018, 01:46:00 PM »
I don't date.  I marry.

Ah, but the question is, is this a romance blunder on your part?

I'm on #4 so technically it's FOUR pretty big romance blunders.

You win

Dont I?
Quote from: Anonymous
I'm sorry to see that your personal resolution to this went in that direction, but wish you the best.

stoicreader

  • Posts: 135
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2018, 08:15:39 PM »
Meh
« Last Edit: June 05, 2018, 10:39:37 AM by stoicreader »
Meh

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2018, 07:06:15 AM »
I've learned that as long as I keep my head down and follow instructions, things go smoothly, sort of.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

boog

  • Posts: 10734
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2018, 10:21:02 PM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.

It all makes ... sense now. Not that I was prying.

I had a guy stop his car in the middle of the Walmart parking lot today while I was walking back to my car and wolf whistle at me before hooting, "Hey, Batgirl. Wanna hop onto my batmobile?"

I was wearing a Batman t-shirt. I don't even like Batman. I bought it on sale when I was on vacation last year because one of my kids spilled something onto the only clean shirt I had left.

Not really a romance blunder on my part, but fellas, this is not the way you pick up chicks. I'm just advising you before you duplicate this dude's mistake. Do not be this dude.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2018, 11:14:55 PM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.

It all makes ... sense now. Not that I was prying.

I had a guy stop his car in the middle of the Walmart parking lot today while I was walking back to my car and wolf whistle at me before hooting, "Hey, Batgirl. Wanna hop onto my batmobile?"

I was wearing a Batman t-shirt. I don't even like Batman. I bought it on sale when I was on vacation last year because one of my kids spilled something onto the only clean shirt I had left.

Not really a romance blunder on my part, but fellas, this is not the way you pick up chicks. I'm just advising you before you duplicate this dude's mistake. Do not be this dude.

Hey... wanna be my Robin? *winks* Let's head back to the batcave for some fizzy lifting drinks.

Damn, yeah, that's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, expecto patronus and all that. Hadoken.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

boog

  • Posts: 10734
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2018, 06:53:44 PM »
I could be seduced with a Street Fighter reference. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, no. And no to Batman jokes.

OTOH, if you cosplayed as Wolverine and were as hairy, yeah. I'd be down for that.

Oh. Sorry. Hijacking the thread. Let's get back to embarassing things.

My first date ever was with this guy who I really liked! He and a friend of mine were in a class together, I'm younger than the both of them, and he passed her a note to pass to me about how pretty I looked one day when I was wearing a silken kimono-type shirt, and in the note, he asked me out on a date. So, yeah, we end up double dating with my friend and her boyfriend at the time.

I don't remember what movie it was. I remember Marvin and I were sitting together in the theater beside my friend and her beau and they were sucking face. I was like, MAYBE 15, and I felt so awkward. I'd barely ever'd been touched by a boy, and so he put his hand on my knee and I sat there frozen, between salivating and groaning friends, and this guy that I was into, but who was pressured into making a move because of said friends.

Then, at the end of the night when my gal pal drove us back to where Marvin's mom was gonna pick him up, he turned to kiss me in her back seat and we ended up bumping heads. He smooched my cheek.

We never went on another date again. He was a really good guy, and a friend, but I think we were both too mortified to speak to one another after all of that in any sort of romantic capacity.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

zeia

  • Posts: 507
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2018, 10:03:50 PM »

So she pulls away from this kiss, after an eternity, and stares into my eyes, and delivers the phrase into the silent room.  And I’m silent too, for just a moment, but I lean in, and I give her a soft kiss in return, just a little one, an echo, and I run a finger lovingly down her cheek, and I say, with a shadow of remorse, “Baby...I love you.  But I just.  Can’t.  Smile.”  And the room erupts in chaos.  And then she hit me.


This has just made my day.  Just.. wow haha!
« Last Edit: April 12, 2018, 10:13:33 PM by zeia »
Pride means nothing when your crawling on the ground.

Boogerbear

  • Posts: 27
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2018, 08:30:30 AM »
I started dating this one girl in January.

Still was really into sex, and I exposed her to LSD for the first time, numerous times; she loved it.

The night before Valentine's Day, a friend I had worked with came in from out of town, we all took acid, and I tried to get the fresh girlfirned to have a threesome.  Both of them are really, really hot.

It... did not go like I had planned.  I stayed up all night doing damage control, both of the girls still there, my girlfriend sulking in the bedroom and my friend on the living room floor a 5 am as I'm going to work with a bottle of whiskey, begging me to stay.

Nearly ended the relationship.  Fuck, man, I thought a threesome on psychedelics would be a GREAT way to spend V-day.

So, I went to work at a high class resort restaurant to work breakfast on 0 sleep, still hallucinating like a mother fucker.

My girlfriend and I went to see the March Fourth Marching Band on more acid later that nght, and damage control was successful.

No more threesome attempts, especially involving potent drugs, oh christ, what a flaming nightmare from hell.
"Some days you get the bear. Some days, the bear gets you."

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9691
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #20 on: June 22, 2018, 01:20:19 PM »
Don't do acid so much, dude.

SuchDragonWow

  • Posts: 1353
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #21 on: June 22, 2018, 02:50:26 PM »
I barely remember a lot of these, because I married early, and then my life was like, strings of casual incidents, followed by long relationship, followed by strings of casuals, followed by long relationship, etc. etc.  So, most of those would've been around high school.

One time, I went to a girl's house to watch a movie.  At some point, she says to me, "Hey, let's go upstairs!  I wanna show you my room!"  And I'm like, "Well, okay, but I really wanna finish this movie ... "  We were watching Antz, the movie with Woody Allen as an ant.  So, she starts leading me upstairs by the hand, and she pauses and looks back at me and says "You wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes?"  She was a redhead.  I was so sexually idiotic that I don't think I even caught on to what she meant.  Instead, I said, "I was really enjoying that movie ... "  LOL.  Jesus ...  She got mad, and I think I left without finishing the movie or getting laid.

Another time, I had a friend who would do these seductive dances on top of me when I was half-passed out drunk, which was my de facto position of the time.  I was absolutely clueless that she wanted to sleep with me.  In fact, we slept together later in life, after both of us were divorced.  The first time we kissed, she whispers to me, "I never thought this would happen."  Oh, right.  Because 18 y/o me was clueless to anything sexual.  LOL.

One last one before I stop trying to remember these awful things.  I was probably 17, and there were four of us, two guys, two girls, out on the dock of a river.  We were getting drunk and we were debating playing strip poker before we decided that was a waste of time, and we'd just pair off.  Except, the girl I was madly in love with went off with my friend.  And I was with her best friend.  We were doing our thing, and they were doing their thing a ways up the dock.  She seemed to be really into it, but I kept looking up the dock, and I wouldn't go all the way that night because of my stupid feelings.  I consider this a romance blunder because I ended up marrying the other girl, who gave me something like seven years of misery, while the girl I could've had is, shocker, still amazingly hot after all these years and so damn nerdy and cool.  OOPS.

Where it will go

Bebop

  • Posts: 3664
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2018, 03:00:27 PM »
Fuck, man, I thought a threesome on psychedelics would be a GREAT way to spend V-day.

Huh.  To each their own I guess.

I would say probably one've my worse mistakes was being obsessed with this British fellow I worked with that would fly over from London-area every few months.  We would sit chatting for probably far longer than work should have allowed.  One night we all go out after work and he shows me how to drink whiskey (I've never been much of a whiskey drinker) and we start talking about Philip K Dick.  Because of him Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep is one've my favorite books to this day.  We happen at that time to both be single and we start writing back and forth letters and making plans to go on a road trip next time he comes back to the states.  I was absolutely smitten.

But --- I got back with my ex instead and that all fell by the way side.

Years later when me and the ex inevitably became exes again I shot British guy an e-mail after getting it from my old co-workers.  They were like oh yeah he was always really sweet on you.  Even though it was a casual hello he basically shut me down and was like, I'm married now, no point in wandering what might've been.  So we never spoke again.

It all worked out but looking back I want to scold myself for relapsing into a bad spot multiple times at the sake of other good romantic opportunities due to PTSD and abandonment issues.

I too have made the ole pursue Armers blunder.  N'ere again.  I also, like ShaLeah, marry and have a time removing myself from blunders.  So mine are far more like why've I made this life choice and less like oops I blew it with that girl when I puked in her hair sorta tales.

Other than that I can't think of anything really.  I've never dated casually too much too long.  Once I went on a date from someone I met online and I told him I'd meet him at some music or open mic thing after dinner because I again, was young and didn't know how to say no and ended up just ghosting instead of following him there.  These days I would've just told the guy, not interested sorry and honestly would probably never online date again.  I think it kind of takes the magic out of blundering into a kismet spirit you find endearing.

At age 32 I realize I now had a big problem saying no to guys and not deferring to what I subconsciously perceived as authority due to my sexist upbringing.  That problem is no longer an issue.  I eat souls now, stuff like that.  Or at least do a really good job at pestering and defying my husband.