Author Topic: Romance Blunders  (Read 777 times)

James de Monet

  • Posts: 3320
Romance Blunders
« on: March 30, 2018, 04:23:53 PM »
Doublepalli’s rhyme about his ex made me think back on some stuff, and I thought it might be amusing to start a thread in which we could lament (and laugh about) some of the dumb stuff we have done in the pursuit of romance.  The point here isn’t to complain about things others have done to us, we can’t change that.  But we can learn from our own (and other players’) awesome missteps.  So here goes:


When I was in high school I was the undisputed king of this game called “Baby if you love me...”. ( For anyone who hasn’t played it, it’s a flirting game where you say “Baby if you love me, you’ll give me a smile.” and do something flirty, or joking, or whatever to try to get the other person to crack a smile before they can calmly give the prescribed reply.  It’s played in groups, and you just pick someone as your victim when it’s your turn.  If they crack, they’re up.)

Anyway, I had never lost at this game.  So, one night when we were playing it at a party, this girl that I was totally into was up.  And she picks me.  And everyone in the back of the room is rolling their eyes, because they think she’s cheating, because they all know I’m infatuated with her.  She sways across the room, and uncoils into my lap like a cat, and then she kisses me, I kid you not, like I had never been kissed before.  I have no idea how long it went on, but it was the kind of kiss that if it was in a movie, would make people flush and start to shift uncomfortably in their seats.  It was deep, and passionate, and gentle, and desperate, all at the same time.  And there were about fifteen people watching raptly.

So she pulls away from this kiss, after an eternity, and stares into my eyes, and delivers the phrase into the silent room.  And I’m silent too, for just a moment, but I lean in, and I give her a soft kiss in return, just a little one, an echo, and I run a finger lovingly down her cheek, and I say, with a shadow of remorse, “Baby...I love you.  But I just.  Can’t.  Smile.”  And the room erupts in chaos.  And then she hit me.

Somehow, it didn’t occur to me until forever later that I had made a tactical error that night.  I never did lose at that game.  I retired, still the king.  But as you can probably imagine, I pretty much struck out with her after that, too.  So, I was just left wondering: was the crown worth it?  Sometimes, the answer is no.

(And, it was episodes like this that would later lead my wife to amusedly remark, “You’re charming, but you have negative game.”  Touché.  ;D)
You know I think if James simply retitled his thread "Cheese" and apologized for his first post being off-topic, all problems would be solved.

chrisdcoulombe

  • Posts: 1214
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2018, 04:37:44 PM »
lmao
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 18870
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2018, 10:43:01 PM »
One time I had a cute girl in a group setting tell me I had the most beautiful deep blue eyes she had ever seen.

My response? Awkward silence. Lack of eye contact. Avoid her for the rest of the party. All despite being totally into her, and her giving me other not so subtle hints. Like laughing at my jokes and touching my arms.

In my defence it was my first time in this group of people so I was playing it cool. All I had to do was ask for her number.

Edit: I was 20 at the time, crazy to think that was nearly 10 years ago. Still feels like yesterday.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2018, 10:45:51 PM by RogueGunslinger »

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7876
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2018, 01:58:13 PM »
Here's something I realised at around 3 AM: if you're alone with someone you haven't seen for years and they keep on bringing up how much they were into you back in the day, they still are.

It was mutual too :(
« Last Edit: March 31, 2018, 02:00:47 PM by lordcooper »
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

RogueGunslinger

  • Posts: 18870
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2018, 10:21:59 PM »
Here's something I realised at around 3 AM: if you're alone with someone you haven't seen for years and they keep on bringing up how much they were into you back in the day, they still are.

It was mutual too :(

Hah. I've been that person, telling someone else how much I was into them back in the day. Can confirm I was still into them.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2018, 01:18:17 AM »
I once asked about a girl's friend immediately after sex.

Brain: ok, what do people do after sex? talk? ok, talk. what do i know about this girl? uh, she used to dance and she has a close friend. ok, i don't know anything about dancing so it will be obvious i don't care if i ask about that. i know, i will ask about her friends to communicate interest in her.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

lordcooper

  • Posts: 7876
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2018, 03:46:22 AM »
Damn dude.
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

fuck authority smoke weed erryday

oh and here's a free videogame.

Akaramu

  • Posts: 6604
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2018, 09:21:37 AM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2018, 09:33:54 AM by Akaramu »

Is Friday

  • Posts: 6327
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2018, 11:11:51 AM »
When I was in High School I asked this chick we called Trey (short for some long hippie thing) in the Drama class to go to a theater play with me (it was a school production). I didn't really think of it as a date, more that I thought she was cool and we should hang out. I wanted to see the play, anyway. So after seeing the thing then hanging out for a while she looked at me then awkwardly said, "So... I've forgotten your name." I laughed it off and didn't really think much of it. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure that she assumed she had lost all opportunity with me there--high school logic being what it is. Anyway, we ended up being pretty cool all throughout my time there.

----
There was this other chick in Drama named Esther who had invited me over to see her family's bakery shop during some sort of parade thing. So I show up after having walked all the way downtown (I didn't get a license until 18 like a fucking loser. This is probably why I'm a good hiker.) I hang out for a bit and talk to her older sister/her for a while. They say "Hey we're closing down and gonna go to the house to watch a movie. You can come if you like." So they pile into the car and then I'm like "Okay, sure, what's your address?" They give it to me. I walk the 1.5 hours to the house and she answers the door all hype that I'd showed up.

So I sit down and watch Jackass with Esther and her older sister/sister's bf. Great experience. Afterward the sister tells me "That's really cool of you to hang out" like it was some huge deal. I walk home after that. Years later I come to realize how many little things Esther did to try to get me to ask her out formally. She even gave me a glamor photo with a purple ink cursive-written note on the back. I was so oblivious.

Also I don't think she knew that I didn't drive.
---

ANOTHER Drama chick asked me out this one time to date when I was a senior (she a junior) after her friends heckled me for what seemed like months. It was more like an "okay whatever". We hung out and talked about theater most of the time. Her shampoo/conditioner was so awful, though. I hated it. To this day I remember the bad sea shell/ocean spray bullshit she wore. God. So bad.

Anyway she ends up breaking up with me just before Homecoming and asks if I'd like for her to still go with me. And I shrug and I'm like "Yeah okay". I didn't care. I was so uninvested in the relationship. Anyway, everyone else thought it was the most horrible thing ever for her to break up with me the day prior to Homecoming. Also, it ended up producing a pretty sick Homecoming photo cause I had a white tux with a red vest.
----

I've been with my wife since I was 18 though so I don't really have any adult relationship stories. Ah well.
And then I sat there going "really? that was it? that's so stupid."

I still think the best closure you get in Armageddon is just moving on to the next character.

ShaLeah

  • Posts: 5101
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2018, 10:38:00 AM »
I don't date.  I marry. 
Quote from: Oryx
Shal is on point.
Quote from: Cenghiz
And ShaLeah's evil, by the way.
Quote from: Anonymous
this doesn't sound very fun, shal
Quote from: Anonymous
You didn't store did you
Because.. I lurve you.

chrisdcoulombe

  • Posts: 1214
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2018, 11:36:40 AM »
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!

Pale Horse

  • Posts: 4460
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2018, 01:22:58 PM »
I don't date.  I marry.

Ah, but the question is, is this a romance blunder on your part?
Quote from: Dalmeth
I've come to the conclusion that relaxing is not the lack of doing anything, but doing something that comes easily to you.

ShaLeah

  • Posts: 5101
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2018, 01:46:00 PM »
I don't date.  I marry.

Ah, but the question is, is this a romance blunder on your part?

I'm on #4 so technically it's FOUR pretty big romance blunders.

You win

Dont I?
Quote from: Oryx
Shal is on point.
Quote from: Cenghiz
And ShaLeah's evil, by the way.
Quote from: Anonymous
this doesn't sound very fun, shal
Quote from: Anonymous
You didn't store did you
Because.. I lurve you.

stoicreader

  • Posts: 45
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2018, 08:15:39 PM »
One day, in my early 20s, I had a long morning at work and decided to go to the bar at my lunch break, much earlier than I normally go.  This is Hoboken mind you (Frank Senatra's home), when there were still some cobble roads.

My usual spot didn't open until later so I went a few blocks down into a random dive.

Well, I'm drinking a gin, neat. And this fella sits at the bar and we chat a little. It's a small bar. Maybe 200sqft, 6 stools. That sorta thing was around at the time. The bartender gives me another gin, the guy talking to me paid it. "That was nice" I thought. He gets up to go and leaves me his phone number on a napkin. "That's fucking weird" I thought.

Few minutes later a guy starts hitting on me, straight up. "Ohh you playing hard to get?" he finally said. I respond, "Hell yea, you haven't even bought me a drink yet." I was kidding. He bought me a drink. Bartender's pouring doubles. He asks for my number... I hand him the napkin trying not to laugh.

I'm drunk in the middle of the day at this point and I had the best afternoon back at work. Stress free! It was a blast!

Nothing else really happened until that evening I go back to the bar and head to the bathroom. Two men's rooms. I thought that was odd. I come out and notice those two guys were "together" holding hands I thought, "Holy shit, this is a gay bar and I'm a gay-bar matchmaker!" I say to the quiet couple, "Hey! Remember me? Congratulations!" And one guy looks at the other and says, totally ignoring me, "That's the guy you tried cheating on me with!" the answer, "I'm sick of your shit, go fuck yourself." "Ohh yea? Fuck you!"....

Awwwwwwwkward. I started slipping out when I heard in a gruff voice, "Hey get back here! Only a threesome will fix this!" That's when I ran out. I heard horsley laughing on my way out.

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2018, 07:06:15 AM »
I've learned that as long as I keep my head down and follow instructions, things go smoothly, sort of.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

boog

  • Posts: 10668
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2018, 10:21:02 PM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.

It all makes ... sense now. Not that I was prying.

I had a guy stop his car in the middle of the Walmart parking lot today while I was walking back to my car and wolf whistle at me before hooting, "Hey, Batgirl. Wanna hop onto my batmobile?"

I was wearing a Batman t-shirt. I don't even like Batman. I bought it on sale when I was on vacation last year because one of my kids spilled something onto the only clean shirt I had left.

Not really a romance blunder on my part, but fellas, this is not the way you pick up chicks. I'm just advising you before you duplicate this dude's mistake. Do not be this dude.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2018, 11:14:55 PM »
Let's see... the most awkward was probably flying to the States for an Armer who didn't tell me he'd fallen in love with a friend shortly before my arrival. He actually never told me, I had to figure it out myself with some detective work. Before booking the flight I even asked 'are you sure you still want me to come? I've noticed we barely chat or exchange emails anymore of late' and he was like 'yeah, sure'. Guys who can't fess up are the worst. I'm not made of sugar, I can handle a guy telling me he's fallen for someone. ::) Besides, the whole fly over to visit thing had been his idea in the first place...

Anyway, I fly there for a week and keep wondering why the hell he can't even look me in the eye, and why the dinner is so awkward. We both had to get really pissed off and get into a fierce argument before he finally had the guts to tell me he's not interested in me after all. >:(

But hey, that's in the past. Can't complain about lack of interest from the menfolk these days  :P I think I'm also pretty good about communicating expectations or lack thereof. I'll never be that guy, and I don't do the sudden radio silence thing either. That's the coward's way out.

It all makes ... sense now. Not that I was prying.

I had a guy stop his car in the middle of the Walmart parking lot today while I was walking back to my car and wolf whistle at me before hooting, "Hey, Batgirl. Wanna hop onto my batmobile?"

I was wearing a Batman t-shirt. I don't even like Batman. I bought it on sale when I was on vacation last year because one of my kids spilled something onto the only clean shirt I had left.

Not really a romance blunder on my part, but fellas, this is not the way you pick up chicks. I'm just advising you before you duplicate this dude's mistake. Do not be this dude.

Hey... wanna be my Robin? *winks* Let's head back to the batcave for some fizzy lifting drinks.

Damn, yeah, that's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, expecto patronus and all that. Hadoken.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

boog

  • Posts: 10668
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2018, 06:53:44 PM »
I could be seduced with a Street Fighter reference. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, no. And no to Batman jokes.

OTOH, if you cosplayed as Wolverine and were as hairy, yeah. I'd be down for that.

Oh. Sorry. Hijacking the thread. Let's get back to embarassing things.

My first date ever was with this guy who I really liked! He and a friend of mine were in a class together, I'm younger than the both of them, and he passed her a note to pass to me about how pretty I looked one day when I was wearing a silken kimono-type shirt, and in the note, he asked me out on a date. So, yeah, we end up double dating with my friend and her boyfriend at the time.

I don't remember what movie it was. I remember Marvin and I were sitting together in the theater beside my friend and her beau and they were sucking face. I was like, MAYBE 15, and I felt so awkward. I'd barely ever'd been touched by a boy, and so he put his hand on my knee and I sat there frozen, between salivating and groaning friends, and this guy that I was into, but who was pressured into making a move because of said friends.

Then, at the end of the night when my gal pal drove us back to where Marvin's mom was gonna pick him up, he turned to kiss me in her back seat and we ended up bumping heads. He smooched my cheek.

We never went on another date again. He was a really good guy, and a friend, but I think we were both too mortified to speak to one another after all of that in any sort of romantic capacity.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

zeia

  • Posts: 499
Re: Romance Blunders
« Reply #18 on: April 12, 2018, 10:03:50 PM »

So she pulls away from this kiss, after an eternity, and stares into my eyes, and delivers the phrase into the silent room.  And I’m silent too, for just a moment, but I lean in, and I give her a soft kiss in return, just a little one, an echo, and I run a finger lovingly down her cheek, and I say, with a shadow of remorse, “Baby...I love you.  But I just.  Can’t.  Smile.”  And the room erupts in chaos.  And then she hit me.


This has just made my day.  Just.. wow haha!
« Last Edit: April 12, 2018, 10:13:33 PM by zeia »
Pride means nothing when your crawling on the ground.