Author Topic: Marijuana  (Read 411 times)


  • Posts: 2417
« on: April 14, 2017, 06:03:26 PM »
Ok. Last time smoked was... march 26th. I had smoked fairly consistently (daily) for awhile prior to this. Awhile like, over a year.

I have a piss test on the 24th. I've seen, countless online articles about this shit and there are so many variations. I'm in good shape and have lost over 10lbs JUST SINCE I applied to said job to pass this pre-employment screening. I was under the assumption that even as a heavy smoker 3 weeks to a month would be a solid time frame. I mean, its been intense physically. I'm at 195 lbs and am 6'4.

I failed a home kit piss test today. Frustrating. Does anyone know enough about this to give me some solid advice?

No, I do not want to cheat and use a synthetic.

No, I do not want to chug a bottle of certex the morning of.

How come even though my body fat is becoming non-existent I can't beat a piss test? I just keep my metabolism moving furiously each day.


  • Posts: 2417
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2017, 06:04:14 PM »
By the way, marijuana is legal in the state I live in ; I was dumb and didn't consider the fact that this company got federal grants and might still do pre-employment screening, if you're wondering why I pushedthe time frame so close to my application.


  • Posts: 6006
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2017, 06:33:56 PM »
Despite your low body fat, many of your organs are composed of a lot of fats.  Thus, it's actually set up in some places, such as the brain, to be released in your pee over a long period of time.  Luckily, after generally about three weeks, that drops to only trace amounts that usually beat tests.

I used to smoke while on probation, but I had to drop it to sparing amounts, and I did indeed use a drink called 'The Royal Flush' to make sure I passed them.  If they're using a dipping stick test, then generally drinking large amounts of water for a few hours beforehand makes your urine diluted enough to pass it.  If they're using a laser test, then they may not allow that result because it will pick up that there's very little content within the urine.

There are arguments against increasing your metabolism because it will burn away the fat and release their contents into the bloodstream.  I've never had this scientifically verified anywhere...most of the sites on the topic are not exactly crawling with credible sources.  However, you said you quit on the 26th, which puts you on day 19 of cleanliness.  I'd give it until the 20th of april and give that pee test another go.  The things they test for, unfortunately, have a long enough 'dissolving rate' that they actually measure it in half-lives; you're likely at the tail end of where it's still showing.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2017, 06:43:15 PM by Armaddict »
She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together. --J.D. Salinger


  • Posts: 1113
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2017, 06:38:24 PM »
National and multinational companies do not respect state's laws.

Regarding testing, there are two HUGE factors which effect passing/failing a piss-test. I bought 30 tests to learn about my body several years back, when I was changing careers from carpentry (Smoking cannabis every day) to logistics (Random drug screenings, sometimes two in a week, sometimes one a year, with everything in between).

The two factors are: Metabolism and bladder-content.

Metabolism: Anecdotal evidence first: I had a friend - skinny as hell, could not put on weight - who smoked with me on a saturday and passed a drug test he did not know he was having on monday. Yes, he was inhaling. I did, however, tell him to fill the cup with piss from mid-stream. this applies to the bladder-content factor.

Okay, I used 20 tests on myself and 10 on my girlfriend. I do not have the exact results, but the conclusion was that I could pass a test after 2 weeks if I took urine from mid-stream, as THC metabolites tend to either float to the top of your bladder-contents, or sink to the bottom. If I took a sample from the beginning of the stream, It took about 40 days to piss clean. My girlfriend showed similar results, but she has a very slow metabolism. it took her 1 month to pass a test with a sample from mid-stream, and 2 months to pass a test from beginning-stream.

tl/dr chug water like a madman and fill the cup with urine from the middle of your stream, not the start and not the end.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.


  • Posts: 2417
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2017, 01:42:18 AM »
Thanks fellow vagabonds. I won't kill you IC.


  • Posts: 18870
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2017, 10:56:38 PM »
Im having a hard time believing a normal healthy human would piss hot after nearly a month but thats just because i piss clean after a week and am thus biased.

However better safe then sorry just have someone else piss into a baggie and strap it under your ballsack.


  • Posts: 9307
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2017, 09:58:59 AM »
I piss clean after a week if I smoke sparingly and stay hydrated. Don't burn fat if you don't have several weeks notice to detoxify. Drink shitloads of water. To pass dilution tests, take creatine and b-vitamins (creatine makes creatinine in your urine have a higher concentration which is part of them making sure it isn't diluted, b vitamins make it yellow). Pee once or twice before the test if you can.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?


  • Posts: 1211
Re: Marijuana
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2017, 08:13:16 PM »
Don't work out before the test.  Don't make it your first piss of the day.  Drink alot of water.  Eat vitamins.  Basically what Met said.  Using fake pee works though. 
Quote from MeTekillot
Samos the salter never goes to jail! Hahaha!