Author Topic: Mental illness thread  (Read 17955 times)

azuriolinist

  • Posts: 413
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #275 on: June 26, 2018, 07:34:32 AM »
I didn't know Hashi. I think I played with his PC.

This is devastating. I really, really hope his sister and family are okay and getting through this.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #276 on: July 04, 2018, 12:25:33 AM »
It is more difficult to force yourself to oust toxic people from your life when your circle of friends is more like an angle of friends

zeia

  • Posts: 507
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #277 on: July 05, 2018, 02:56:25 AM »
OMFG... wait, Hashi?... oh no... I um, I really liked that guy.

EDIT: I really do and I hope you're joking...

Unfortunatly not :(
He didn't leave a note or anything, no reason as to why. He did have alot going on in his life, and, I guess things just got too much for him :(
Pride means nothing when your crawling on the ground.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #278 on: July 09, 2018, 10:04:22 AM »
When your therapist pings your ego a little bit about how you perpetrate some of the things people do to you and she's right but it didn't occur to you until it was pointed out. #justnarcissistthings :'(

Scrumpkin

  • Posts: 171
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #279 on: July 09, 2018, 11:08:27 AM »
Getting out and experiencing life is an important step with coping with it.  Not making light of this, but being a victim to feelings can be a problem.  This is not an easy step, it may take a lot of effort at first, but as time goes on, it will get easier.  Abstaining from alcohol and eating right is also a huge part of it.  Life can be as complicated as we make it.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #280 on: July 17, 2018, 05:27:15 AM »
Booze in any amount has made me sick the last ~5 times I've had any amount from small to large.

People think I wear small clothes to be twinky but I just find tight fits comforting, like an all-day hug from my morning wardrobe choice.

valeria

  • Posts: 5690
    • I have a writing blog.
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #281 on: July 25, 2018, 07:39:16 PM »
My psychiatrist is switching me off sertraline and onto lamictal and I must say, SSRI withdrawal suuuuuuucks.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #282 on: July 31, 2018, 09:21:51 AM »
My experiences with LSD have been very positive, but as I'm not a doctor nor party to the extreme intricacies of other peoples' biology, I won't go so far as to recommend they try it. I think it may have contributed to my brother's final break into schizophrenia but that's just conjecture.

It put me into a state of mind that made it easier to directly confront the aspects of myself that were harming me and my relationships. I may do it again in a few months, I've been frying myself much too often for comfort in the last few months, which is to say, I think 5 times? I won't be so #woke as to say I'm a different person but I've definitely switched which tracks my train is on.

My extreme downward moodswings have been extremely minor in comparison lately, as well, but I'd like to credit my improved ability to cope and some subtle increases in my self-esteem, but the acid may also be a contributor. I'm also surgically grafted to a vape pen constantly filled with the highest nicotine concentration I was able to purchase online so that may also be a factor.

I'm waiting for winter to really get a good read on my mood, as that's consistently my worst time of the year.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2018, 09:23:51 AM by MeTekillot »

Karieith

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #283 on: August 08, 2018, 10:27:04 PM »
Intrusive thoughts are bad and exhausting.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #284 on: August 09, 2018, 09:10:26 PM »
I'm more paranoid and combative than is usual but I don't know if it's environmental or biological.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #285 on: August 09, 2018, 10:50:20 PM »
Hm also haven't been sleeping more than 5-6 hours but don't feel tired.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #286 on: August 13, 2018, 09:05:35 PM »
I believe I could be in the midst of a hypomanic episode. I'm very paranoid lately, not sure if it's interfering with my relationships. I am not gonna touch acid again for some time, I think, because I need to reassess my hold on reality. I'm not delusional, I don't think, but my brother is a bonafide schizophrenic so I think I need to start treading more carefully.

Need to get reimbursed by insurance co. for appointment fees, 2x monthly is dropkicking my finances.

3rd shift job schedule has socially isolated me, fucked with my sleep, and makes doing any daytime chores an effort. I need a new job.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #287 on: August 16, 2018, 01:30:04 AM »
Feeling pretty self loathing about awful things I've done to people, especially women.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #288 on: August 18, 2018, 09:17:43 PM »
Missed ANOTHER appointment because I got distracted running errands. Annoying but I'm feeling alright, lately. Hung out with a group of only men for the first time last night. The similarities between me and other people I sometimes find uncomfortable. Had fun, though! Trying steadily to tackle social anxiety.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #289 on: August 20, 2018, 06:17:03 AM »
I think my moods are uh, not stabilizing, but fitting into a more consistent if perhaps more intense pattern. I believe I may have developed some pretty solid skills with coping with my depression but we will see when the seasonal mood shift tries to kick my ass. I would very much like to get a psychiatrist who remembers my name and is less than 3 or 4 hours late to our appointments. I've been without mood stabilizers for a bit over a year now because I stopped seeing the only local one who suffered from the above flaws.

Anyway I also feel amazing right now.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #290 on: August 22, 2018, 01:33:32 AM »
Changed thread name so other people are more comfortable sharing their experiences if they so desire, entire thread isn't supposed to be about me, I just liked the alliteration.

MeTekillot

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Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #291 on: August 28, 2018, 01:47:38 AM »
I think my anger lately has been largely justified if perhaps occasionally disproportionate. I think I will do acid again soon and try to focus on better establishing healthy boundaries and intimacy rather than rushing.

MeTekillot

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Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #292 on: August 28, 2018, 07:12:16 AM »
I need to stop looking at people's bodies when they're  looking at me. I'm checking their body language but I just realized it probably looks like ogling. I'm not saying I don't ogle but I'm polite about it.

crymerci

  • Posts: 1557
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #293 on: August 28, 2018, 12:04:13 PM »
You sound kinda agitated and I'm not sure LSD is the treatment for that. A lot of times acid is laced with speed to make it work for longer. So maybe what you're responding to is the speed, which can have a paradoxic effect on AD(H)D sufferers, settling them instead of amping them.

But you're going to find it really hard to determine what's going on and what to do about it, when you don't have a real baseline because you're substance hopping.

I think you might consider reading up on PTSD. It's possible that what you're experiencing is neither mania not hyperactivity, but hyper-vigilance (or that you have a dual/multi diagnosis including PTSD).
I think we might need to change World Discussion to Armchair Zalanthan Anthropology.

MeTekillot

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Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #294 on: August 28, 2018, 07:31:55 PM »
I've played ball with stimulants before so I'm usually aware of what they feel like. Could certainly be possible for the drugs I use to be laced with it. My occasional episodes of mania actually do feel a lot like I'm on speed, just for days or a couple of weeks at a time. I haven't done anything except occasionally smoke weed and use the vape for the last month and a half.

spicemustflow

  • Posts: 2489
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #295 on: August 30, 2018, 04:12:45 PM »
My psychiatrist is switching me off sertraline and onto lamictal and I must say, SSRI withdrawal suuuuuuucks.

Mind sharing for how long were you taking it and in what dosage? I don't really feel anything now that  I've discontinued it on my own and was taking it for about 8 months, 60mg

Cind

  • Posts: 1545
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #296 on: September 02, 2018, 05:09:54 AM »
I take the lowest adult doses for my own things, and considering what I have I'm grateful that I am able to write this and understand what its saying. Apparently I'm pretty high-functioning, and its probably helped with my creativity in my books and in the game. You know, the books I write that no one has ever read.

Adult swim just had a marathon that I actually watched the whole thing of (except for about an hour of combined self-care/wandering off) and I'm pretty damn proud because usually I'm not that focused. I like that show.

SSRI withdraw does blow, and is partly the reason I'm on low doses. I don't need higher doses to survive, so I'm pretty happy with it.

That stack of African-American literature has been sitting patiently on my desk for the past week, waiting for me to dig in. I haven't so much as looked at it, but I have this thing now where, I can't really concentrate on a book for long usually, but sometimes I take the (shopping) bag that will have the books in it and just look at them and read the covers and flaps, the reviews on the back. (This part of my things has actually been getting better since my worst point so eventually I will get back to what is normal for me, so long as I keep with the trileptal.)

I take trileptal and invega, what do you guys take?

I think a guy down the street (he's a trucker, and he sleeps in that trailer maybe once a month) has bipolar disorder, but I'm not sure what kind and if he takes medicine. When I got my trileptal dose lowered to the lowest adult dose my ease to anger became more noticeable but I managed well and now I hardly notice anymore.
Look, a petting tregil.  So silky...Feel him.

Cind

  • Posts: 1545
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #297 on: September 02, 2018, 05:13:08 AM »
I had a dream about a month ago where Trump was friends with this Japanese insane girl and some guy who was a white-blonde (and probably a fan of Trump) mocked him for being friends with her, and it was obviously because she was insane. Without thinking, I punched him a good punch in the snozz. I'm still proud of that dream. I wonder if it means anything for my waking life.
Look, a petting tregil.  So silky...Feel him.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #298 on: September 02, 2018, 05:16:38 AM »
You can say "black" and "black people", "african-american" is the jive term, now.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9671
Re: Mental illness thread
« Reply #299 on: September 12, 2018, 12:09:31 AM »
My bullet train of motivation has slammed into the wall of my typical mood swings. Been sleeping terribly and not eating enough and struggling to muster the will to exercise. Might start taking caffeine for pre workout but I don't want to make my sleep problems worse.

My PERSONAL experience with mood stabilizers has been that the benefits were extremely mild or nonexistent, while also giving me side effects that I found intolerable in a cost benefit way.

Nutrition shakes and protein powder forcefed to myself to make sure I at least almost get my daily caloric need if not completely.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2018, 12:12:57 AM by MeTekillot »