Author Topic: MeTekillot mental illness thread  (Read 16846 times)

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #250 on: March 29, 2018, 03:35:37 AM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

cshoov

  • Posts: 60
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #251 on: March 30, 2018, 12:19:01 PM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.

Are you feeling any better today?  How long does a thing like this usually last for you?

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #252 on: April 09, 2018, 08:50:02 AM »
Keeping my emotions off my face is one of the most mentally draining things I've ever tried to teach myself to do. Went to a friend's birthday party. Think I only offended her girlfriend with one stupid joke comparing her to Yoko Ono, and I think I only cane across as somewhat reticent rather than as an utter spastic. Progress.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #253 on: April 09, 2018, 08:51:56 AM »
I did ALMOST cry from the stress of trying to appear normal (and my (possibly paranoid?) worries that I was failing miserably) but I didn't. 😎

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #254 on: April 10, 2018, 02:38:47 PM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.

Are you feeling any better today?  How long does a thing like this usually last for you?

Starting to feel better. I don't keep a journal (which would likely help) but they typically last, for me, one-two-ish weeks.

I'm depressed= usually bad only for me, with some side issues from bumming out others.
I'm manic= a bad time for everyone, awkward, spontaneous, impulsive words and actions.

Those actually in the know will be like, "Oh, he just, gets like that, pay it no mind."... those who don't understand will find it quite bizarre.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

cshoov

  • Posts: 60
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #255 on: April 12, 2018, 01:28:59 PM »
Glad it's a little better, at least.

Yesterday:
Woke up after sleeping for 13 hours. Had breakfast and coffee, then lied on the floor of my room and cried for no apparent reason for about an hour. Got a migraine, went to work where I almost passed out while tutoring somebody. Got Indian food (my comfort food) for dinner and hung out with a friend and his girlfriend for a few hours playing Breath of the Wild. Stayed up until 6 AM working on a project for my lab, which I've put off for too long because of really debilitating anxiety.

Today:
Tired but feeling better. Catching up on stuff at work.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #256 on: April 21, 2018, 11:59:32 PM »
I fell asleep while tripping on LSD. Only slept for 3 or 4 fours.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #257 on: April 22, 2018, 11:07:37 AM »
I fell asleep while tripping on LSD. Only slept for 3 or 4 fours.

I, didn't think that was possible, from personal experience. Careful with that stuff, some rather educated and talented people have burnt their minds on that. Can make for some interesting perspective, all things in moderation.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #258 on: April 23, 2018, 06:28:59 AM »
I feel less violent and sadistic the following day. A little grumpy and irritable but violent fantasies don't have the same cathartic appeal. Wonder if it's just because my neurotransmitters are still normalizing.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #259 on: April 23, 2018, 11:12:32 PM »
Setting your brain on fire can do that.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #260 on: April 25, 2018, 01:48:14 PM »
Back on my violence fantasy bullshit. Guess I was just tired. Gonna do acid again this weekend. Only reason I did it a few days ago was because I had planned to have it be an experience with other people who ended up cancelling so I just tripped for two hours and spent the rest of it sleeping. I want to see what it's like with people.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #261 on: May 08, 2018, 08:42:32 AM »
People lie to you. They do this a lot. A surprising amount! Even when they don't benefit.

Gagging at things brushing on your neck or on unpleasant foods is apparently common in sensory disorders.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #262 on: May 08, 2018, 08:45:22 AM »
People offer to do things they don't actually want to do to be polite. There is no way to know if this offer would be socially acceptable to take without a complex calculation of your relationship, their possible personality type, and any owed favors.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #263 on: May 08, 2018, 09:35:31 AM »
People offer to do things they don't actually want to do to be polite. There is no way to know if this offer would be socially acceptable to take without a complex calculation of your relationship, their possible personality type, and any owed favors.

My rule with this is if I accept their offer then it's on them. If they want to get pissy about it then that is on them as well. It's not like I twisted their arm or blackmailed them into it. I quickly write off people who think "You should've known." as chronic troublemakers worth less of my time. It's best to find out early on with little things than to cultivate a more trusting relationship with someone before stepping on an anti-tank mine.

People lie to you. They do this a lot. A surprising amount! Even when they don't benefit.

Second verse same as the first.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2018, 09:40:07 AM by Grapes »
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #264 on: May 29, 2018, 05:58:06 AM »
I mutter to myself constantly, practicing phrases for conversation with people because  I stutter and pause very frequently or use extremely precise language that's a dead ringer for sperg monologuing.

zeia

  • Posts: 507
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #265 on: June 06, 2018, 10:49:22 AM »
I wish people that dont suffer with mental illnesses could be given a taster.. for a moment to see what its like. The amount of timea I have been told by people to 'snap out of it' or 'cheer up' its infuriating..

I do not know how many of you knew Hashi, but, his sister emailed me a few weeks ago, to let me know he had taken his own life in Febuary :(
No one even knew he suffered with depression, let alone that badly.
Pride means nothing when your crawling on the ground.

Karieith

  • Posts: 816
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #266 on: June 17, 2018, 10:30:50 PM »
Is this the thread to complain about mental illness in because my anxiety has been really bad. To the point where I'm convinced my character is annoying people when they Way them and that they're uncool and nobody likes them or wants to hang out with them.

It's really annoying and incredibly convincing.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #267 on: June 19, 2018, 06:24:28 AM »
I find that when I am sliding into depressed moods that mustering all my willpower (not always successfully) into initiating a task I am skilled in (programming, oration, skill-based video games, logic puzzles, physical activity, soothing or assisting other people) that it frequently helps to abate my symptoms. Even when it doesn't it keeps my hands busy and contributes towards my mastery of something specific and a general improvements in ancilliary skills.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9558
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #268 on: June 19, 2018, 06:27:02 AM »
Is this the thread to complain about mental illness in because my anxiety has been really bad. To the point where I'm convinced my character is annoying people when they Way them and that they're uncool and nobody likes them or wants to hang out with them.

It's really annoying and incredibly convincing.
I've had no coping mechanisms work as effectively for me other than nicotine or harmfully loud music (or outbursts of anger (I try very hard not to do these anymore)) to help when I'm anxious.

Is it constant anxiety or do you find you have spells of it?

Bebop

  • Posts: 3608
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #269 on: June 19, 2018, 05:36:51 PM »
Is this the thread to complain about mental illness in because my anxiety has been really bad. To the point where I'm convinced my character is annoying people when they Way them and that they're uncool and nobody likes them or wants to hang out with them.

It's really annoying and incredibly convincing.

Hey, even if they are it's just your character.  Not you.  Y'know?

Karieith

  • Posts: 816
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #270 on: June 20, 2018, 03:20:14 PM »
Is this the thread to complain about mental illness in because my anxiety has been really bad. To the point where I'm convinced my character is annoying people when they Way them and that they're uncool and nobody likes them or wants to hang out with them.

It's really annoying and incredibly convincing.

Hey, even if they are it's just your character.  Not you.  Y'know?

It's seeped into my real life and now I think everyone hates me and is just humoring me. I feel like I'm the most boring and shitty person in the world and it sucks. I'm gonna talk to my psychiatrist about it on Friday.

I've had no coping mechanisms work as effectively for me other than nicotine or harmfully loud music (or outbursts of anger (I try very hard not to do these anymore)) to help when I'm anxious.

Is it constant anxiety or do you find you have spells of it?

It's semi-constant but not ever present anxiety. It comes and goes but can linger for hours :( When it hits it's like a hammer.

Bebop

  • Posts: 3608
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #271 on: June 21, 2018, 12:22:06 AM »
Is this the thread to complain about mental illness in because my anxiety has been really bad. To the point where I'm convinced my character is annoying people when they Way them and that they're uncool and nobody likes them or wants to hang out with them.

It's really annoying and incredibly convincing.

Hey, even if they are it's just your character.  Not you.  Y'know?

It's seeped into my real life and now I think everyone hates me and is just humoring me. I feel like I'm the most boring and shitty person in the world and it sucks. I'm gonna talk to my psychiatrist about it on Friday.

I'm glad you have someone to talk to about it.  Hope you feel better.

TheWanderer

  • Posts: 1496
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #272 on: June 22, 2018, 03:08:23 PM »
The majority of people in the world are pretty stupid and/or ugly, so I'd hate for them to be elevated by misplaced anxiety. There's only a very small section of the population you should be anxious around.

You want it to be this community of nerds? Just remember that for future interactions! Cheers.
Quote
Whatever happens, happens.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #273 on: June 26, 2018, 06:17:00 AM »
OMFG... wait, Hashi?... oh no... I um, I really liked that guy.

EDIT: I really do and I hope you're joking...
« Last Edit: June 26, 2018, 06:18:57 AM by Grapes »
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

Grapes

  • Posts: 416
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #274 on: June 26, 2018, 06:21:05 AM »
God damn no... color my day ruined... I can't believe that.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.