Author Topic: MeTekillot mental illness thread  (Read 13513 times)

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #250 on: March 29, 2018, 03:35:37 AM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

cshoov

  • Posts: 45
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #251 on: March 30, 2018, 12:19:01 PM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.

Are you feeling any better today?  How long does a thing like this usually last for you?

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #252 on: April 09, 2018, 08:50:02 AM »
Keeping my emotions off my face is one of the most mentally draining things I've ever tried to teach myself to do. Went to a friend's birthday party. Think I only offended her girlfriend with one stupid joke comparing her to Yoko Ono, and I think I only cane across as somewhat reticent rather than as an utter spastic. Progress.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #253 on: April 09, 2018, 08:51:56 AM »
I did ALMOST cry from the stress of trying to appear normal (and my (possibly paranoid?) worries that I was failing miserably) but I didn't. 😎
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #254 on: April 10, 2018, 02:38:47 PM »
I think I'm having a manic episode, time to hole up inside and bar the doors, this could get ugly with all my entitled milenialist thinking.

Are you feeling any better today?  How long does a thing like this usually last for you?

Starting to feel better. I don't keep a journal (which would likely help) but they typically last, for me, one-two-ish weeks.

I'm depressed= usually bad only for me, with some side issues from bumming out others.
I'm manic= a bad time for everyone, awkward, spontaneous, impulsive words and actions.

Those actually in the know will be like, "Oh, he just, gets like that, pay it no mind."... those who don't understand will find it quite bizarre.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

cshoov

  • Posts: 45
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #255 on: April 12, 2018, 01:28:59 PM »
Glad it's a little better, at least.

Yesterday:
Woke up after sleeping for 13 hours. Had breakfast and coffee, then lied on the floor of my room and cried for no apparent reason for about an hour. Got a migraine, went to work where I almost passed out while tutoring somebody. Got Indian food (my comfort food) for dinner and hung out with a friend and his girlfriend for a few hours playing Breath of the Wild. Stayed up until 6 AM working on a project for my lab, which I've put off for too long because of really debilitating anxiety.

Today:
Tired but feeling better. Catching up on stuff at work.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #256 on: April 21, 2018, 11:59:32 PM »
I fell asleep while tripping on LSD. Only slept for 3 or 4 fours.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #257 on: April 22, 2018, 11:07:37 AM »
I fell asleep while tripping on LSD. Only slept for 3 or 4 fours.

I, didn't think that was possible, from personal experience. Careful with that stuff, some rather educated and talented people have burnt their minds on that. Can make for some interesting perspective, all things in moderation.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #258 on: April 23, 2018, 06:28:59 AM »
I feel less violent and sadistic the following day. A little grumpy and irritable but violent fantasies don't have the same cathartic appeal. Wonder if it's just because my neurotransmitters are still normalizing.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #259 on: April 23, 2018, 11:12:32 PM »
Setting your brain on fire can do that.
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #260 on: April 25, 2018, 01:48:14 PM »
Back on my violence fantasy bullshit. Guess I was just tired. Gonna do acid again this weekend. Only reason I did it a few days ago was because I had planned to have it be an experience with other people who ended up cancelling so I just tripped for two hours and spent the rest of it sleeping. I want to see what it's like with people.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #261 on: May 08, 2018, 08:42:32 AM »
People lie to you. They do this a lot. A surprising amount! Even when they don't benefit.

Gagging at things brushing on your neck or on unpleasant foods is apparently common in sensory disorders.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

MeTekillot

  • Posts: 9309
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #262 on: May 08, 2018, 08:45:22 AM »
People offer to do things they don't actually want to do to be polite. There is no way to know if this offer would be socially acceptable to take without a complex calculation of your relationship, their possible personality type, and any owed favors.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Grapes

  • Posts: 398
Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #263 on: May 08, 2018, 09:35:31 AM »
People offer to do things they don't actually want to do to be polite. There is no way to know if this offer would be socially acceptable to take without a complex calculation of your relationship, their possible personality type, and any owed favors.

My rule with this is if I accept their offer then it's on them. If they want to get pissy about it then that is on them as well. It's not like I twisted their arm or blackmailed them into it. I quickly write off people who think "You should've known." as chronic troublemakers worth less of my time. It's best to find out early on with little things than to cultivate a more trusting relationship with someone before stepping on an anti-tank mine.

People lie to you. They do this a lot. A surprising amount! Even when they don't benefit.

Second verse same as the first.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2018, 09:40:07 AM by Grapes »
Quote from: Is Friday
If you ever hassle me IC for not playing much that means that I'm going to play even less or I'll forever write you off as a neckbeard chained to his computer. So don't be a dick.