Author Topic: MeTekillot mental illness thread  (Read 4959 times)

MeTekillot

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MeTekillot mental illness thread
« on: December 24, 2016, 10:36:37 AM »
Somebody always cracks wise when I post about it in the other threads so I'm just gonna blog about my mental illness progress in this thread. This is a strictly no querulous zone.

Lamictal is giving me pretty significant insomnia. I woke up this morning feeling extremely depressed, but I've leveled out to calmness I don't recall ever feeling. I don't feel like burning anything down, hurting anyone (including myself), or breaking into tears.

I don't know what appropriate emotional responses are like so I can't quite tell yet if the medication is working as intended or if it is making me too numbed out.

Music doesn't get me hyped up at the moment.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Miradus

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2016, 11:04:00 AM »

Hang in there, man.

"Normal", as shown on television ... doesn't exist. To a degree I think everyone always feels like that. Some just have better coping mechanisms.

boog

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2016, 11:13:20 AM »
I don't think they mean to make you feel bad. I think they just really want you to be telling health care professionals about this as opposed to discussing it with people who can't, or shouldn't ethically 'help' you on the internet, MeT.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
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Molten Heart

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2016, 11:30:59 AM »

Cind

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2016, 06:49:43 AM »
Poor Metekillot! I hope things go well for you.

I also have mental things, and insomnia, which is probably the oldest. I have decided not to take insomnia medicine, it seems like it is dangerous. But I shouldn't be telling you what medicines to take, and its not serious for me because I still get my eight hours.
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Lizzie

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2016, 10:09:37 AM »
Hey Mek, my experience with meds for bi-polar, which was misdiagnosed: I felt that "even" feeling, it felt sort of like a void. Nothing spectacular, nothing horrible. Everything just - so-so, all the time. At first it was a relief, because having "episodes" of frustration and panic is exhausting and this prevented them. Eventually I got bored of being "the same" all the time and determined that life isn't supposed to feel this way, so I got off it and learned to manage my emotional experiences, and get a more exact diagnosis. (Functional ADD, no hyperactivity). I don't take meds for it anymore but I do take Ambien to sleep, because my brain lacks that ability to set aside thoughts to some other part of my mind so I can stop "actively" thinking and fall asleep.

I still have frustrating moments, they seem to be increasing in frequency now that I'm officially "old" (menopause complete). I'm better at handling them now though, most of the time I can just physically remove myself from the source of frustration and get a grip on my frustrations, then go right back and deal with the situation without falling apart. When I can't physically remove myself I can practice a few relaxation techniques. Like if I'm driving in bad traffic and have to pee and there's an accident up ahead and some moron is beeping his horn behind me - I can calm myself down enough to not be reactive.

In short - being in a "zen" moment 24/7 sounds great to most people who aren't forced to be in that moment 24/7. But it's normal to have moments of jubilation, joy, pride, happiness, and normal to be horribly hurt or sad, and it's also normal to occasionally feel shame, regret, sorrow, and a sense of futility. Never being able to feel these things due to meds makes a person feel less human. What you need is something that will allow you the full spectrum of human emotion, but will block off the "reaction" signals that make you carry those emotions to extremes.  Behavioral management and cognitive therapy can help but they won't solve the problem. Meds are also a tool - not a cure. You have to find the right type and dosage. Work with your doctor (or get a new one). Also - during moments when you would normally be especially upset about something - and the meds make you not especially upset - try and embrace that "it's a really bad thing that's happening but I'm able to handle it" feeling.
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Orin

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2016, 10:55:28 AM »
I self medicate with cannabis.
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HavokBlue

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2016, 01:03:10 PM »
Somebody always cracks wise when I post about it in the other threads so I'm just gonna blog about my mental illness progress in this thread. This is a strictly no querulous zone.

Lamictal is giving me pretty significant insomnia. I woke up this morning feeling extremely depressed, but I've leveled out to calmness I don't recall ever feeling. I don't feel like burning anything down, hurting anyone (including myself), or breaking into tears.

I don't know what appropriate emotional responses are like so I can't quite tell yet if the medication is working as intended or if it is making me too numbed out.

Music doesn't get me hyped up at the moment.

Pot didn't work for you did it? My doctor suggested pot to counter the insomnia and appetite reducing effects of anti depressants and ADHD meds.
All the world will be your enemy. When they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you; digger, listener, runner, Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2016, 05:30:10 PM »
My therapist and psychiatrist advise me against using pot because it can cause my bipolarity (sp?) to act up. I have been smoking drastically less as a result.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

boog

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2016, 06:01:18 PM »
It can, if anecdotal evidence in my father is worth anything. He is bipolar/schizophrenic and has self medicated with pot for nearly a half century. It's good... Until he runs out. His come downs are... Intensely bad.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

Raptor_Dan

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2016, 06:10:35 PM »
bipolar/schizophrenic here, and I've medicated/treated my self for years. Having time to meditate really really helps with balancing and regulating my own emotions. I find if I start to get sick, or feel depressed, long exposure to sunlight can really turn that around. What exactly is it that troubles you, MeTekillot?
I'm just looking for a general consensus. Or Moe's opinion. Either one generally can be accepted as canon.

Orin

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2016, 06:15:05 PM »
Nowadays (in Washington state anyway), there are pure CBD strains which don't have any THC in them.  I actually prefer those due to their anti-anxiety and pain relieving properties.  I've heard it helps with seizures and schizophrenia too, as opposed to THC.  In the end it's all in how you use it, or abuse it.

http://www.truthonpot.com/2014/09/24/5-differences-between-cbd-vs-thc/
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MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2016, 03:40:49 AM »
My friend was complaining about feeling sick all the time and I pointed out how she gets constantly drunk, smokes tons of weed, gets no exercise, and survives on microwave meals. She told me I make her feel bad about herself. I didn't feel like I was being mean. Should I?
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Yam

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2016, 03:57:35 AM »
It should keep you up at night every once in a while, but with less intensity and frequency than other embarrassing moments, like if you ever decided to frost your tips.

Molten Heart

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2016, 04:22:08 AM »
My friend was complaining about feeling sick all the time and I pointed out how she gets constantly drunk, smokes tons of weed, gets no exercise, and survives on microwave meals. She told me I make her feel bad about herself. I didn't feel like I was being mean. Should I?

Women....

Lizzie

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2016, 06:35:07 AM »
My friend was complaining about feeling sick all the time and I pointed out how she gets constantly drunk, smokes tons of weed, gets no exercise, and survives on microwave meals. She told me I make her feel bad about herself. I didn't feel like I was being mean. Should I?

You weren't being mean. You were pointing out the most likely reason for her to feel sick all the time. However, it's probably not what she wanted from you. She probably wanted you to do a "aww poor poopsie" for her, pat her back, and tell her it'll be okay. Some people like that kind of thing. In fact, at some point in our lives, everyone wants that kind of thing. Reassurance from someone else that everything's going to be all right. (Sort of like why you posted, right? :) )

So, if there's any "bad" for you to feel, it'd be that you were unable to address her underlying concern. Easy fix - tell her you feel bad that she feels bad. You DO feel bad that she feels bad (no matter why she feels bad), don't you?
Talia said: Notice to all: Do not mess with Lizzie's GDB. She will cut you.
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Orin

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2016, 11:24:16 AM »
In those situations just follow up with a, "yeah, that totally sucks" or "what a bitch" or "are you fucking kidding me" depending on the circumstances.  Your friend didn't want you to try to help fix it, even though it may have come off like that.  People are weird, and usually just want to talk about themselves with minimal feedback from you other than validation or further lines of questioning about themselves (see the book How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, amazing stuff on basic social interactions.  Wish I would have found it when I was much younger).
You notice: A war beetle squeezes out a fist-sized ball of dung.

Miradus

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2016, 11:44:07 AM »

This person is a friend?

Be pickier about who you call a friend and you won't have these kinds of social issues. You basically told this person how to get their shit together (like an adult) and they turned on you.

You need this in your life?

Molten Heart

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2016, 01:39:37 PM »
"I have a chemical imbalance that, in its most extreme state, will lead me to a mental hospital ... I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I’m still surviving it, but bring it on." - Carrie Fisher
http://huff.to/2inMswM

I think she was a strong and resilient person. Someone anyone who struggles with mental illness can learn from.

MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2016, 12:00:45 PM »
I haven't slept in two days but I don't feel tired. I feel positively excellent actually.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

Synthesis

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2016, 12:19:04 PM »
I haven't slept in two days but I don't feel tired. I feel positively excellent actually.

Are you not on lithium, or do you have some contraindication for it?
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MeTekillot

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2016, 03:26:29 PM »
I'm on lamictal, which my psychiatrist said doesn't usually cause insomnia but googling just its name brings up insomnia as a side effect and I've been having pretty gnarly insomnia since I started it.
Where have you buried the body, MeTekillot?

boog

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2016, 03:57:52 PM »
I'd ask a pharmacist about drugs and side effects and interactions way before I'd ask any doctor. The amount of pharmacology doctors are instructed about in school is woefully ... pitiful.
Case: he's more likely to shoot up a mcdonalds for selling secret obama sauce on its big macs
Kismet: didn't see you in GQ homey
BadSkeelz: Whatever you say, Kim Jong Boog
Quote from: Tuannon
There is only one boog.

Miradus

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2016, 04:08:18 PM »

Do you have a space where you could work with your hands or anything? I find that doing something productive with your hands is a great bit of therapy. I could send you some of my old blacksmithing books if you'd like.

Malken

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Re: MeTekillot mental illness thread
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2016, 04:11:34 PM »
I'd ask a pharmacist about drugs and side effects and interactions way before I'd ask any doctor. The amount of pharmacology doctors are instructed about in school is woefully ... pitiful.

Well, I would think that a psychiatrist would know more than a doctor or a pharmacist in general since this is their focus. The problem with medication like lamictal is that it can be all over the place ; insomnia is not a severe side effect, meaning that while it is a common one, it shouldn't prevent you from sleeping at all for many days in a row. You should tell your psychiatrist about it so that he can switch you to something else if you really think that it is your medication that causes your insomnia.

I mean, if you google it it will pretty much bring -every- side effects you can possibility think of but that's pretty common because they need to disclaim every possible side effects.
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