Things that cracked you up today

[Akaramu]

Real Life Town of Salem

[Refugee]

[James de Monet]

^tee hee

[Molten Heart]

.

[Pale Horse]

NSFW

[TheHandmaid]

NSFW

My favorite channel. It always makes me so happy to watch these.

[James de Monet]

Me: If you could change one thing about being a woman in a "man's world", what would it be?

MdM: Ummm...periods.

Me: No, I kinda meant like social things...

MdM:  Yeah, no.  Periods.  Do you know how bad those suck?  Periods.

[Delirium]

Me: If you could change one thing about being a woman in a "man's world", what would it be?

MdM: Ummm...periods.

Me: No, I kinda meant like social things...

MdM:  Yeah, no.  Periods.  Do you know how bad those suck?  Periods.

[Molten Heart]

.

[boog]

Littlest boog crawled into my bed this morning and I snuggled him. After being brushed with some frigid extremities, I mentioned how cold his feet were and then he said, "Well, that's why I peed in my bed."

I paused, then scrambled out of bed to check. Yep. Sure enough, that fucker pissed in his bed. I told him he's not Bear Grylls and that big boys pee in the potty only. FFS.

It's kinda funny now that it's all cleaned up.

[satine]

"No one ever found world peace reading the back page of a porno mag."

[Delirium]

[Riev]

Cardass-igeon?

[Delirium]

GULL DUKAT

[boog]

I had to pick my youngest up from school today ...

Because he was chasing crows and ran, face first, into a pole.

I nearly died from laughter when his teacher was on the phone with me, telling me what transpired. Roflmao.

[Melkor]

I assume from the levity that he is not too injured, then? A kid named Alan in the 4th grade did that and lost a mouthful of teeth, like 8. But he tripped and fell into the pole

[Hauwke]

My kid is just learning to walk, first couple of steps were okay, then came the next few and it just went downhill from there until she grabbed the wall, spun on her foot and kissed the wall.

[boog]

Sorry about his face, he's a messy eater.

Anyway, it was bad, but it's still god damned hilarious. This kid will trip walking on a flat plane going straight. He's so smart he's stupid when it comes to common sense. He also can't find things right in front of his face and he's just ... He doesn't reside in our mortal realm completely, I don't think.

Ah, well. We can't have it all.

Hauwke, this one also, when he learned to walk, fell ... Into a corner of a chair. A day before Christmas photos, he had a black eye. It's a scary time for kids. Hopefully your daughter becomes more graceful than my oaf of a kid, hah.

[Hauwke]

She is related to me, she will smash her face on all of the things and be perfectly fine somehow!

[boog]

He's starting to bruise now. It's a little less funny when it turns black. 

[Melkor]

Watch for about 20 seconds

https://youtu.be/oNljRBy23ks?t=2m28s

[tortall]

I was crafting IRL and I started thinking about what I was doing in Arm code.

Code: [Select]

craft foam red.fleece clear.glue golden.paint into dalek.body

You begin crafting a red dalek body with gold bumps from a sheet of green poly foam, a length of red polar fleece, a bottle of clear glue, and a bottle of golden paint.

>
em traces a pattern onto ~foam, using ~green.marker before taking up ~xacto to slice the shape

The busty long-haired woman traces a pattern onto a sheet of green poly foam, using a green off-brand marker before taking up a long metal x-acto blade to slice the shape.

>
em applies contact cement to the sides of the cut foam pieces, and sets them aside to allow them to dry.

The busty long-haired woman applies contact cement to the sides of the cut foam pieces, and sets them aside to allow them to dry.

>
em then does the same to ~red.fleece, cutting it with ~scissors.

The busty long-haired woman then does the same to a length of red fleece, cutting it with a pair of blue-handled fabric scissors.

>
em using ~sewing @ stitches the shapes together, making a cone shape.

Using a simple white sewing machine the busty long-haired woman stitches the shapes together, making a cone shape.

>
em Carefully matching the edges up, @ shapes the foam pieces into a cone shape.

Carefully matching the edges up, the busty long-haired woman shapes the foam pieces into a cone shape.

>
em stretches the cone fleece over the cone foam, adjusting it as she goes under it fits snug as a glove over the foam.

The busty long-haired woman stretches the cone fleece over the cone foam, adjusting it as she goes under it fits snug as a glove over the foam.

>
Using ~gun, @ glues down the fleece at the top and bottom, holding it in place.

Using a tiny orange glue gun, the busty long-haired woman glues down the fleece at the top and bottom, holding it in place.

>
em traces three circles on each of the six sides of the cone, then fills in the circles with ~glue.

The busty long-haired woman traces three circles on each of the six sides of the cone, then fills in the circles with a bottle of clear glue.

>
em after allowing the glue to dry overnight, @ uses ~paint over the hardened glue spots.

After allowing the glue to dry overnight, the busty long-haired woman uses a bottle of golden paint over the hardened glue spots.

>Sewing up the fleece and covering the foam, you paint circles on the fleece, creating a red dalek body with golden bumps.

[ShaLeah]

That's longer than all my [redacted].

[perfecto]

hahahah that whole thing was awesome.  Her nipples do look lovely today lol

[boog]

My kid thinks Justin Timberlake is Trevor Philips.