Generic human's appearance (Lore question)

Started by Naisho, September 18, 2013, 01:38:03 AM

Anglophones speak English like Russians drive, with total contempt for the rules.

September 18, 2013, 06:22:44 PM #26 Last Edit: September 18, 2013, 06:35:13 PM by Naisho
I have another example which I feel curious about.
Can you say

the dark, fast horse (this would be incorrect in Russian, would be no comma here because dark and fast are not related to each other)
the dangerous, fast horse (sounds to be correct)
the fast, dangerous horse (seems to be MORE correct than the previous one. And definitely you get a comma here in Russian)

"This is a dark and fast horse" comparing to "This is a fast and dangerous horse". I would say first phrase makes no sense, but maybe because I am too influenced by Russian idea of comma though? Or am I correct and the first phrase is too clumsy?

I also wanted to add...thank you for the staff for post-editing my description! It took me some time to realise that it used to be a bit silly...

Quote from: Naisho on September 18, 2013, 06:22:44 PM
I have another example which I feel curious about.
Can you say

the dark, fast horse (this would be incorrect in Russian, would be no comma here because dark and fast are not related to each other)
the dangerous, fast horse (sounds to be correct)
the fast, dangerous horse (seems to be MORE correct than the previous one. And definitely you get a comma here in Russian)

"This is a dark and fast horse" comparing to "This is a fast and dangerous horse". I would say first phrase makes no sense, but maybe because I am too influenced by Russian idea of comma though? Or am I correct and the first phrase is too clumsy?

Dangerous and dark usually don't compare as I see it. Dark I think of more as a color. For example: The dark haired woman (This simply means the woman has dark colored hair, not that her hair is dangerous). Though now reading this you have me thinking differently and it could mean dark as in evil, could also mean dark as in somber and sad. I guess it would all depend on the context it was in. As the example you mentioned The fast, dark horse (I would take to mean a horse that is fast and is of a dark color either a dark brow, dark grey, or almost black color).

Welcome to Armageddon I hope you enjoy.
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Quote from: slvrmoontiger on September 19, 2013, 08:57:43 AM
Quote from: Naisho on September 18, 2013, 06:22:44 PM
I have another example which I feel curious about.
Can you say

the dark, fast horse (this would be incorrect in Russian, would be no comma here because dark and fast are not related to each other)
the dangerous, fast horse (sounds to be correct)
the fast, dangerous horse (seems to be MORE correct than the previous one. And definitely you get a comma here in Russian)

"This is a dark and fast horse" comparing to "This is a fast and dangerous horse". I would say first phrase makes no sense, but maybe because I am too influenced by Russian idea of comma though? Or am I correct and the first phrase is too clumsy?

Dangerous and dark usually don't compare as I see it. Dark I think of more as a color. For example: The dark haired woman (This simply means the woman has dark colored hair, not that her hair is dangerous). Though now reading this you have me thinking differently and it could mean dark as in evil, could also mean dark as in somber and sad. I guess it would all depend on the context it was in. As the example you mentioned The fast, dark horse (I would take to mean a horse that is fast and is of a dark color either a dark brow, dark grey, or almost black color).

Welcome to Armageddon I hope you enjoy.

If it meant evil, AND if you meant -she- appeared evil (as opposed to her hair) then it would be:
the dark, haired woman.

So it'd be a woman who has hair, who is dark.

That's why I don't use the comma when I do the tall muscular man. Because it's unnecessary. Anyone who sees that trio of words knows that the guy doesn't have tall muscles. They know he's a tall guy, and he is also a muscular guy.

I probably would hyphenate the dark-haired part by the way. She would be the dark-haired woman. Maybe she'd be tall too. So she'd be the tall dark-haired woman. And I'd betcha no one would wonder if I mean that her dark hair is tall, and they'd all know that the woman is tall, and that she has dark hair.
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I think Caucasian would be as appropriate as Negroid or Mongoloid.

Quote from: tiptoe on September 18, 2013, 07:26:24 AM
Quote from: Lizzie on September 18, 2013, 07:10:08 AM
I don't usually include commas in my sdesc unless the inclusion is grammatically necessary or unless its exclusion would result in awkwardness. So the tall muscular man would not get a comma for me. But the green, blue-haired man would - so as not to confuse anyone into thinking that the guy's hair is both green and blue.


Tall, muscular man is grammatically correct. Coordinate adjectives require a comma to separate them...

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/

Hah, quoted OWL.  Nice - I've referred to that site a lot before. 

I know you were just pointing out the rule, but I think, with Arm, style is more important than adhering to grammar rules, especially when there are multiple style guides/ways of doing things.

OWL is also my resource too.

But any ways, is OP playing now?  Enjoying it?
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Now that we've  discussed the comma more thoroughly than I've ever seen, where do we stand on hyphens and hyphens in conjunction with commas?  :D

Quote from: armacc on September 27, 2013, 04:57:13 AM
Now that we've  discussed the comma more thoroughly than I've ever seen, where do we stand on hyphens and hyphens in conjunction with commas?  :D

A long time ago, close to a decade, I was writing a gypsy and e-mailed Sanvean because I was frustrating myself with the short description.

I knew I wanted it to be something like "the sun-darkened, something-braided man," but I didn't like the double hyphens.  It just didn't look right to me, for some reason, and I told Sanvean as much.

Her suggestion?  Change it to the sundarkened, something-braided man.  Would it fly in a Comp 1 essay?  No, probably not.  It wouldn't fly in English classes I've taught, anyway.  But for Arm and casual writing, it does.  Later, that character became the "sundarkened, yellow-braided man," I think, because he passed out drunk in a gypsy wine cellar and people decided to dye his braids yellow :P

So, use hyphens, don't use hyphens, use them in conjunction with commas or don't.  Hopefully, no one will make red marks on your character if they don't agree with the chosen grammar/style.

I'm going to go straight out and just post human appearance as the Cabbage of Evil views it.

If you go tanned, tanned is a general descriptor that your character has a darker than normal skintone as normal humans may have I.E. it is not white/pale, it is darkened, not quite bronzed. Bronzed is the next shade of tanning that honestly just looks awful.

Most Zalanthans in the north will have lighter skin tones due to the environment (more trees, more coverage from the sun, more sex appeal???) while Zalanthans of the south tend to have darker skin tones (less tree coverage, more exposure to the sun and elements).

The Rinth is an exception to this because those claustrophobic Alleys of Doom to the Unwary because the very tall buildings get in the way, and prevent a lot of sunlight getting in.

I hope this helps, despite whether others have answered, I provide a shorthand version of this.

TL;DR

Northies are lighter skinned, southies are darker skinned except for Rinthi's who should be lighter skinned (unless they're fake rinthi's who spend lots of time southside).
Quote from: Adhira on January 01, 2014, 07:15:46 PM
I could give a shit about wholesome.

How to determine if you should use a comma or not.

If you would naturally pause after saying a word insert a comma, otherwise leave it out.

Quote from: evilcabbage on October 12, 2013, 06:28:22 AM
...stuff as EC sees it...

This is not accurate and I do not believe supported in documentation.

It actually is supported in the documentation, thank you.
Quote from: Adhira on January 01, 2014, 07:15:46 PM
I could give a shit about wholesome.

Quote from: evilcabbage on November 15, 2013, 07:54:23 PM
It actually is supported in the documentation, thank you.

Where, bro, school me 'cause I can't find it.
I found this: http://ginka.armageddon.org/help/view/Humans

Which seems to indicate there is a great variety - but I've never seen anything about regional coloration.

it's probably an inference you can make with logic given the fact that it's a slightly cooler atmosphere. Fairly sure there is documentation, I remember reading it, just need to find it.
Quote from: Adhira on January 01, 2014, 07:15:46 PM
I could give a shit about wholesome.

Mr. Cabbage is remembering a blurb from the Quickstart.

Quote
Southerners tend to be darker in skin and hair color than northerners. Very few fair-skinned people exist. There are some mutations among commoners; you are advised to keep them to a minimum in your first character.

The Quickstart was meant to be a brief summary of what exists in the rest of the documentation, but it read more like an addendum to what is in the human helpfile. It also hasn't been transferred to the new website... so, interpret that as you will.

I think skin/hair color and anything related is really a 'just go with it' kind of thing. The zalanthan poor being fat or pristine or somesuch is one thing, but otherwise appearance really isn't something I think you should make too much of an issue out of.
Quote
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This tastes like ordinary meat.
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Quote from: Drayab on November 18, 2013, 02:53:46 AM
Mr. Cabbage is remembering a blurb from the Quickstart.

Quote
Southerners tend to be darker in skin and hair color than northerners. Very few fair-skinned people exist. There are some mutations among commoners; you are advised to keep them to a minimum in your first character.

The Quickstart was meant to be a brief summary of what exists in the rest of the documentation, but it read more like an addendum to what is in the human helpfile. It also hasn't been transferred to the new website... so, interpret that as you will.

There is that, true.