Armageddon MUD General Discussion Board

Non-Armageddon Discussion => Non-Armageddon Discussion => Topic started by: Namino on June 12, 2019, 11:05:27 PM

Title: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 12, 2019, 11:05:27 PM
Alright. This is my favorite ice-breaker question of all time.

Here are the rules:

You have ten attempts (ten lives). You only have to succeed to defeat your opponent of choice one out of the ten times. You can die from your injuries after, as long as your target is dead first. Remember, this is the most dangerous or threatening animal you have a 10% shot against in your personal opinion. Don't sell yourself short, but don't be too ambitious, either. Additional rules for those who need more information:

- You're in an arena, not out in the wild. You both see each other, nobody gets a stealth advantage. You have no tools but you are wearing normal daily-wear clothing.
- The animal wants to fight you and will engage to the best of its ability
- If your animal is native to the water then it meets you half way. For most reasonably sized animals that's waist to chest deep, where it can move around but is restricted by depth. Rule of thumb is that aquatic animals have just enough water to swim but can't maneuver freely.
- If possible, justify your answer, preferably with a battle-plan.
EDIT: - Average specimen. No juveniles but not top size either. Right in the middle. If the species has sexual dimorphism that's significant, state which sex.
EDIT 2: By popular demand, we're clarifying that your normal clothing is to be worn only, not made to improvise into weapons. Remember, bare hands.
EDIT 3: The walls of the arena are smooth stone. Think Roman gladiatorial arena. No cover, no topography. Flat ground, firm footing.

Additional clarification is available upon request.

Discuss.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: bynja turtle on June 12, 2019, 11:08:49 PM
.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: mansa on June 12, 2019, 11:23:08 PM
a miniature poodle
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: MeTekillot on June 12, 2019, 11:24:21 PM
Black bear.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Is Friday on June 12, 2019, 11:25:18 PM
Lion.

If I can take the back and have a jacket that's a rear naked choke.


Chimps/Gorillas know how to grapple and therefore are unlikely to be killed without a weapon by a human.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Cerelum on June 12, 2019, 11:35:07 PM
A human, manual strangulation.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 12, 2019, 11:37:04 PM
Lion.

If I can take the back and have a jacket that's a rear naked choke.


Chimps/Gorillas know how to grapple and therefore are unlikely to be killed without a weapon by a human.

(https://media.giphy.com/media/FQztYFLjvOTkc/giphy.gif)

Look at the definition on its triceps. IDK if you're going to be able to secure that grapple.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Is Friday on June 12, 2019, 11:44:22 PM
Hey, 10% odds is still 10%. Just need to avoid the initial pounce and secure the back then loop the jacket. (Theoretically.)
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: triste on June 13, 2019, 12:23:13 AM
Was told to post here basically because I won the debate in the discord.

Highest strength score / best DPS (damage per second for you noobs) -- crocodiles
"The "winners"—saltwater crocodiles—slammed their jaws shut with 3,700 pounds per square inch (psi), or 16,460 newtons, of bite force. By contrast, you might tear into a steak with 150 to 200 psi (890 newtons). Hyenas, lions, and tigers generate around 1,000 psi (4,450 newtons)"

Rhinos will chase you down and murder you with best agi/endurance: https://www.quora.com/Which-is-faster-a-charging-rhinoceros-or-charging-hippopotamus

However hippos are the actual deadliest in terms of statistics, combining strength and good charging speed:
"Ungainly as it is, the hippopotamus is the world's deadliest large land mammal, killing an estimated 500 people per year in Africa. Hippos are aggressive creatures, and they have very sharp teeth.

And you would not want to get stuck under one; at up to 2,750kg they can crush a human to death."

Lions are cute but not the deadliest.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: triste on June 13, 2019, 12:28:41 AM
I have lost by not reading OP
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Renenutet on June 13, 2019, 06:31:18 AM
Clan cook.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: lordcooper on June 13, 2019, 07:35:09 AM
A mosquito.  They're responsible for more deaths than anything else.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Hauwke on June 13, 2019, 07:41:19 AM
Most people could also be reasonably expected to stop a mid-sized venomous snake before they themself die. Some might even survive the encounter unscathed.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 13, 2019, 08:20:32 AM
I suspect most people are way over 1/10 on a snake. Definitely on a mosquito. :P
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Riev on June 13, 2019, 09:22:44 AM
Fisher cat, or some other mid-sized feline.

Once my hands are too small to possibly collapse a trachea, I'm useless.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Haunt on June 13, 2019, 09:36:49 AM
i will kill any animal given the chance without mercy
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Nameless Face on June 13, 2019, 10:17:11 AM
Honey badger.  One out of ten.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 13, 2019, 10:28:36 AM
Honey badger.  One out of ten.

All memes about honey badgers aside, I think this is an excellent choice. They're really tough animals that can withstand some serious hits but they're actually quite light (30 pounds is an average male) so it'd be like brawling with a medium sized dog that's just more vicious.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: FamousAmos on June 13, 2019, 10:40:36 AM
My husband.

In all seriousness though, young, playful and dominant stallions can be fucking brutal. I used to breed horses and I had a particularly "playful" 2 year old stallion who'd just stand on his hind legs and attempt to high five me on our way to the pen. And once inside the pen he'd bail it. And I'd cling on for dear life because fuck that shit. I'm not having it.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Akaramu on June 13, 2019, 12:56:20 PM
Poisonous snake
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: X-D on June 13, 2019, 07:52:47 PM
No human has any chance at all with a full grown lion bare handed when using the rules of OP. Not 10% not 1%...0.0%.

Anybody who thinks otherwise has never met one up close and has no real understanding of the differences between humans and almost ALL other animals. First, POUND for POUND most animals, lions included are 4-6 TIMES stronger then you. This literally means that the muscle tissue itself is 4-6 times stronger. Next, the muscles and mane of a lions neck are thick and strong...even if the animal was not fighting back you would run out of strength before being able to KO the animal...even with your coat. On the males, that mane and neck muscle thickness is to defend against other lions...something you are not. Lastly...four legs and quite flexible animal weighing more then 500 pounds. You would be scraped off in moments.
Not that you would EVER be able to mount the animal to begin with since along with size and strength there is the just silly speed.

Now, if you are large and very athletic you might be able to take either a half grown female mountain lion or an elderly one...did you mean that sort of lion?

And I am still considering which animal for me. I am confident on anything under 40lbs, maybe even into 50 or 60lbs. So...10% chance? A large male African baboon can get near 100lbs. So, half my size but he has every advantage other then brains and weight. Would be a good match.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: valeria on June 13, 2019, 09:43:13 PM
I'm going with a leopard seal under the rules of the OP.  They are fast and dangerous, and humans suck in water.  But they normally kill by drowning, and a good kick or hit between the eyes takes them out, and I'm fairly strong and accurate.  So I'd go for the thin bone between the eyes and take my chances on it not being able to bite me hard enough for me to bleed out or drag me around in waist deep water until I drown 1 time in 10.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 13, 2019, 11:35:05 PM
Now, if you are large and very athletic you might be able to take either a half grown female mountain lion or an elderly one...did you mean that sort of lion?

My choice is a mountain lion as an aside. Average mountain lion is about 120lbs. I crank 130lbs one handed for dumbell rows for 12 reps. I recognize the animal is fighting and the weight is not, but maneuvering 120 pounds is light weight for me.


9/10 it's going to get me in a rush down but if I can get a hold of any limb, tail, or the head I'm 100% confident I can whip that cat repeatedly against the ground like a gorilla. The lumbar spine of a cougar is not particularly reinforced so its going to be dead or paralyzed in the back limbs at that point.

So I've had this conversation will probably 100 people at this point so when that biker killed the cougar in Colorado a few months back my phone exploded with shit like this:

(https://i.imgur.com/l9Eqp8t.jpg)
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Cerelum on June 13, 2019, 11:56:46 PM
You poor poor man, what is that generic phone you're using?
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Hauwke on June 14, 2019, 05:20:42 AM
You poor poor man, what is that generic phone you're using?

That would appear to be the Samsung s10 based on the buttons and symbols.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: flurry on June 14, 2019, 09:55:51 AM
This thread reminded me of this story of a jogger drowning a rabid raccoon that attacked her:

https://bangordailynews.com/2017/06/14/news/midcoast/maine-woman-attacked-by-raccoon-drowns-rabid-animal-in-puddle/
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: RogueGunslinger on June 14, 2019, 11:05:26 AM
One out of ten tries? And I learn from the previous attempts? One adult elephant.

A feel like a lion would be able to twist and turn 180 in your grip 100% of the time. I also feel like you'd have a hard time getting full leverage around its neck and mane to get it to pass out before you tire out. 
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Brytta Léofa on June 14, 2019, 12:48:51 PM
Pretty sure I've got less than a 10% chance of surviving a cougar attack even if I have a gun.

Any critter that is hard to damage and can bleed me out (even if it can't straight up maim me) is gonna be a problem. Ten attempts is nice, but I don't learn physical skills fast.

I could prob'ly take a coyote.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: lordcooper on June 14, 2019, 05:33:44 PM
One out of ten tries? And I learn from the previous attempts? One adult elephant.

A feel like a lion would be able to twist and turn 180 in your grip 100% of the time. I also feel like you'd have a hard time getting full leverage around its neck and mane to get it to pass out before you tire out.

How do you even fight an elephant?
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: RogueGunslinger on June 14, 2019, 05:50:20 PM
Exhaust it to death. I mean, I have a lot of time, right? I imagine their turn radius isn't that great, and if they're actively trying to kill me it shouldn't be too hard to keep them running. I bet it would dehydrate and die way sooner than I would.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Gracchus on June 14, 2019, 07:35:12 PM
As far as I know no grizzly bear has ever been trained in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I am trained in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Knowing this I could easily kill a grizzly bear in two or three motions.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Haunt on June 14, 2019, 07:41:51 PM
i could grab and throw a turtle
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 14, 2019, 08:27:58 PM
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Is Friday on June 14, 2019, 08:29:38 PM
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: RogueGunslinger on June 14, 2019, 08:31:15 PM
Well you have to be skirting the line, otherwise it wouldn't be the most dangerous. This is a fun question.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Is Friday on June 14, 2019, 08:32:22 PM
The most interesting part of this question is that it shows which people are 100% disconnected from reality.  ;D ;D
Hey but for real I was joking about an African lion. I liked my platoon's responses, though. Some are tenable.

But for real I know BJJ, which is a super power.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Namino on June 14, 2019, 09:12:30 PM
Lol. I do love this question.

So far in this thread we've had someone call out the largest living land animal and the second biggest land carnivore.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: X-D on June 15, 2019, 01:36:06 AM
Namino.
Quote
According to a CPW release, the body of an 80-pound juvenile mountain lion was located on the West Ridge Trail. “The runner did everything he could to save his life.

I am unable to find any cases of an adult human male (or female) Actually beating an adult healthy mountain lion bare handed. Many cases of escape. Otherwise the mountain lion is like  500-1-70.

So, mountain lion would be a good pick IMO, well inside the 10% chance.

RGS, Ballsy idea, not one I would risk. Largest land animal, Stupid fast and one of the smartest with problem solving abilities?
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: path on June 15, 2019, 12:18:46 PM
I'm domesticated.  :-[
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: RogueGunslinger on June 15, 2019, 08:42:03 PM
Elephants are only fast in bursts and straight lines. And they have slow startup speed. It could probably swing its head and trunk fast though, so you would need to be out of reach. It could probably run me down if I just tried sprinting away in a straight line. I bet after I avoided the first two or three charges I could then safely just start jogging away.

Here is the real issue though, im horribly out of shape when it comes to endurance running. Someone else would have a much better shot.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: BOXCARS on June 26, 2019, 08:10:59 AM
I got chased by a wild stallion in the hills of Wyoming. I don't think I could even remotely take that beast although for a moment I had to strongly consider it. Don't want to imagine what it could do to me. Nothing good!
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: chrisdcoulombe on July 08, 2019, 03:39:32 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ut0KUHO9E  Deer look pretty tough.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Bogre on July 08, 2019, 04:27:17 PM
I think I would give myself a 10% chance against a hammerhead shark, given the terms of engagement.

Hammerhead sharks have a relatively smaller mouth than other sharks, and shallower water limits their ability to turn and apply the jaws. That water is also an impediment to humans, but I might be able to stamp on its head between the bottom of the arena and damage critical structures. I would have to be wary that it didn't just hammer into me first, though, putting me fully in the water and then opening up snack time.

Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Thomoto on July 18, 2019, 03:57:47 PM
I could step on a boner death spider, (brazilian wandering spider) then scream my head off.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: WarriorPoet on July 18, 2019, 05:12:07 PM
My fuckfzce of a bloodhound kicks my ass and takes me down daily, so probably a small dog.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: valeria on July 19, 2019, 09:42:09 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ut0KUHO9E  Deer look pretty tough.

Dude forgot that humans are only so OP in the current meta because we've spec'd heavily into tool use. see (https://youtu.be/ImYu9dJM4kQ)
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: deskoft on July 19, 2019, 05:59:22 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ut0KUHO9E  Deer look pretty tough.

Dude forgot that humans are only so OP in the current meta because we've spec'd heavily into tool use. see (https://youtu.be/ImYu9dJM4kQ)

Jesus that guy has a lot of free time.
Title: Re: DISCUSSION: What is the most dangerous animal you think you can defeat unarmed?
Post by: Thomoto on October 03, 2019, 01:00:21 AM
I could throw a sharp stick at a rabbit.
But I’m too weak to cute animals.